


Light the Lamp, Not the Rat

by insomnia1999



Series: Holiday Spirits [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU with Angels, Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Bucky needs some chocolate, Everyone has a plan except Steve, Everyone is an Angel except Tony, Flashbacks, M/M, Memory Loss, My First Fanfic, Panic Attacks, Past Mind Control, Past Torture, Slow Build, Stan Lee Cameo, The usual Winter Soldier tags, Tony does not have the arc reactor, Winteriron Holiday Exchange, not remotely canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 111,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insomnia1999/pseuds/insomnia1999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tony is visited by a Holiday Spirit and finds more than his Christmas Cheer</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>An Epic Midwinter’s Tale in which Tony and Bucky turn a Christmas Carol into Die Hard, because yes, Steve, it is a Christmas movie.</p>
<p>A long tale for a cold Winter’s night, with a little bit of everything:<br/>Angels, Infinity stones, movie references, technology, science, physics (or lack there of), metaphysics, magic, and the Force. (Also, the time space continuum takes a hike but it returns at some point, tired and batter but no worse for wear.) </p>
<p>And True, True Love. (Yes, this is kissing book.)</p>
<p>All with a generous dash of the MCU and comics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AsterRoc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterRoc/gifts).



> This is for AsterRoc, my giftee for the Winteriron Holiday Exchange. Who said they liked: hurt/comfort, fluff, crack/humor, and post-apocalyptic.
> 
> So I tried to include all of it. In one very long story. 
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing, and it took much longer than I thought it would. So I would like to thank Potrix for letting me post this as a WIP. Any delays are entirely my fault.
> 
> The title is from The Muppets Christmas Carol.
> 
>  
> 
> Edit to add: 
> 
> Thanks to [cyanide-to-the-masses](http://cyanide-to-the-masses.tumblr.com) for beta’ing chapters 1-26. And to [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for beta’ing chapters 27-36. You guys are the best!
> 
> Special thanks to Skye_wyr for letting me know this story needed a better summary and giving me some really great suggestions and helping me write a new one. Thank you [Skye_wyr](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_wyr)!
> 
> Now there is Fanart! Near_Black has made some awesome fan art for this story. Thank you so much! You can see it here:[Broken Crown](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10494612/chapters/23151855)!

**Book I – The Past**

“Oh, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.” Rafiki, The Lion King 

  


Chapter 1

“Hey Tony, Merry Christmas!” 

“Bah! Humbug!” Tony snapped. 

Rhodey leaned away from the screen and rubbed a hand over his face. 

“Did you just ‘Bah, humbug’ me?” He leaned forward and continued “I take time out of my busy schedule, from nine time zones away to call you up on Christmas Eve morning and this is what I get? ‘Bah, Humbug’?” 

Tony paused what he was doing and looked up at the view screen Jarvis had opened. Rhodey could see that the workshop was even more chaotic than usual. Tony blinked like he was just realizing he was talking to someone. He looked tired and about two days overdue for a shower and some sleep. 

“Hey Rhodey, pooh-bear! What’s up, how’s Afghanistan this time of year? Wait, I know the answer from personal experience. It sucks! It sucked in May, but I bet it sucks worse in winter,” Tony frowned as his brain caught up. “Wait, is it really Christmas Eve? When are you coming back?” 

Rhodey frowned a little. “I never said I was in Afghanistan, you don’t know where I am.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Oh please, like I need you to tell me these things.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Rhodey continued, waving away that line of thought. “I just called to say Merry Christmas, see how you’re doing.” 

“Bah! Humbug!” 

“There you go again. Is that what you’re doing now? Pepper told me that those Fox News ‘Tony Stark declares War on Christmas’ segments were bothering you. But you don’t gotta keep it up. Just let it go, man.” 

“Ha!” Tony barked. “Let it go he says. You don’t know what it’s been like. Fox has been on me ever since those layoffs last year — which is so unfair by the way! I hired everyone back _with_ back pay once the clean energy and Starkphone devisions were up and running. But do they care – nooo they do not. And now they’re running these ‘Tony Stark hates Christmas’ things twenty-four seven. Just cause we had a ‘holiday party’ not a ‘Christmas Party’. And gave everyone a year end bonus’ and not a ‘Christmas’ bonus.” 

“Yeah, Tony. I know.” Rhodey looked sympathetic. “I talked with Pepper. But so far it hasn’t hurt the stocks. You know they’re just doing it for their ginned up ‘war on Christmas’ crap. They do it every year to some corporation. It makes some people feel important to think that they’re being persecuted. Plus everyone knows that Bill O’Reilly has it in for you ever since that red carpet incident in ‘09. You called him a jackass to his face on live TV.” 

Tony smiled, remembering. “That was great. He _is_ a jackass. And a bigot. And a homophobe. He’s always hated me. So I get why he’s pointed his Christmas Soldiers at me.” Tony stood and started pacing around the table. “But you haven’t seen it. Everywhere I go there are idiots getting in my face and yelling Merry Christmas at me. Or throwing glitter. Someone even threw some holly at me. Where the hell does someone get holly these days? I swear, if one more person says Merry Christmas to me, I’m going to put a holly stake through their heart!” 

Tony continued pacing. He picked up a wrench from the table and started waving it around. “Are people really that stupid that they can’t tell a secular corporation from a religious institution? I mean really. I’m not Christian, a lot of my employees aren’t Christians, and our clients come in every letter of the alphabet from atheists to zealots. So why should we have a Christmas party?” Tony ranted, sneering at the word ‘Christmas’. “And what’s with all this fake martyrdom anyway. It’s not like anyone is stopping these people from celebrating any way they want in their homes or churches, why should the rest of us be forced to-” 

“Tony, Tony, Tony, hey,” Rhodey interrupted him. “I know man. And I agree. It sucks. But Christmas is almost over. By next week no one will even remember this. You can’t let it get to you. And you should definitely not let it ruin your holiday. You should try and enjoy it.” 

Tony stopped pacing and scowled at Rhodey. 

Rhodey leaned back and rubbed his hand over his head. “Look man, I’m just worried about you,” he said. “You don’t have to like the holiday, but you don’t have to spend it alone in your lab either. You could be at Pepper’s, you know she invited you.” 

Tony looked startled. He waved his hands to ward of the words. “Yeah, no, no, no, that is a bad idea. Very bad. Even I know not to accept that invitation. She and Happy deserve to spend their first ‘day that shall not be named’ together as a married couple without me hanging around,” Tony spoke faster. “Plus I don’t need their pity or charity. Why are you bugging me about this anyway? Don’t you have someone else you could be pestering? I’m being good. I think I’ve even made progress trying to miniaturize the arc reactor. I’m happy all alone, thank you. Just me and Jarvis and the bots, that’s all I need. That’s all I’ll ever need.” 

Tony had become more agitated as he talked, waving his wrench around. He glared at the screen. 

Rhodey knew when to back off. He smiled and held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m not arguing with you. You can put down the wrench. I know you’re a good man Tony. I just wanted to make sure you were OK, that you weren’t letting it get to you.” 

Tony looked at the wrench in his hand, surprised it was there. He put it down and glared back at Rhodey. The look Tony leveled at the screen said that he was still more than ready to continue arguing, so Rhodey tried another tact. 

“You look like shit, by the way. When’s the last time you slept?” 

Tony visibly relaxed. Now they were back on familiar ground. 

“I slept,” he started to say, but Jarvis jumped in with “Sir has been awake for 32 hours.” 

Tony pursed his lips and glowered. Rhodey just laughed and leaned back in his chair. 

“Yeah, can’t lie with Jarvis around Tony. You should know better.” He paused and smiled. “By the way, Merry Christmas to you too, Jarvis.” 

“And a Happy Christmas to you, Colonel Rhodes,” Jarvis replied. 

Tony slapped a hand over his face and shook his head. He looked up when he heard Rhodey laughing. 

“Look, just get something to eat, get some sleep. I’ll be back for New Year’s and we can go out and discuss your weird Christmas hang-ups then.” 

“Ha – I’m not weird, I’m eccentric. You know us rich folks are exempt from weirdness, honey bear.” 

“OK, I’ll call you when I’m back stateside,” Rhodey said. Then he smirked and added “Merry Christmas!” 

“Bah, Humbug.” 

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Rhodey shouted. 

“BAH! HUMBUG!” Tony yelled, but he was smiling as he turned off the screen. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic, so please be kind and point out any tags I've missed. Also if you think the rating goes past T. (Some chapters will be marked with additional tags.)
> 
> This starts of kind of slow, but give it a chance. It picks up after a bit. The chapters also get longer as we go.


	2. Chapter 2

  


“You can’t be serious, Nick.” 

“You bet I’m serious, Rogers. I know what I’m doing. And I resent the implication that you think I don’t.” 

Nick put down the leather bound ledger he’d been writing in before Steve had barged into his office. He leaned back in his golden throne of a chair and put his feet up on the enormous matching glowing desk. 

“But he hasn’t recovered. Not even close. He doesn’t remember who he was. What he was. You can’t ask him to do this.” 

Nick sighed. “I’m telling you I need him. Ghost of Christmas is one of the easiest jobs we’ve got. And we’re short-handed this year. You _know_ how many angels we’ve lost this past millennia.” 

“And Bucky was nearly one of them,” Steve crossed his arms and glowered. “Please Nick, you know he’s not ready to be out of the Chorus yet. Even if it’s only a short time, you can’t possibly think he can handle that. He’s still fragile and you know it.” Steve looked angry, but Nick could hear the worry and fear underneath as he continued. “How is he supposed to guide some lost soul when he’s so lost himself? And what if it goes wrong. What if he fails? What’s that going to do to his recovery, then?” 

Steve placed his hands on the front of the desk. He leaned forward. “If this Stark guy is so important, then let me do this. I’ll take the assignment.” 

Nick stood up from behind his enormous gold desk and leaned toward Steve. “Look, Rogers, any other day of the year I’d listen to you. But not today. Today, I am the Spirit of goddamn Christmas, and this is my op. When I say I need Barnes for this mission, I mean I need Barnes for this mission. Besides, you’re overqualified and you know it.” 

Steve straightened up, taking his hands off the desk. “OK, so I’m overqualified. That just means I’ll get it done faster. Everyone wins. You’ve got to let me do this.” 

Nick barked a short laugh. “And I’m telling you that the Spirit of Justice is not what I need here. The only thing you’d do is piss Stark off and knowing him, he’d go looking for some Holiday Spirit with his fist in your face.” 

The look in Steve’s eyes made Nick sigh and his gaze soften. “Look, Steve, I know how much Barnes means to you. And I know how far he’s come. But you’ve been working with him for what, a hundred years now? Maybe you need to give him some room. Give him a chance to find his own way. Birds can’t fly if they never leave the nest.” 

Steve tensed up and glared. “That’s not funny.” 

“It wasn’t meant to be.” Nick reached over and grabbed a silver bell from the corner of the desk. 

At its silver chime, two of Nick’s angels teleported into the room. In keeping with the day they were both dressed as elves, but Clint still carried his bow, and Natasha her favorite flaming sword. 

“Steve was just leaving,” Nick said. “Make sure he gets home safe. And stays there.” 

Steve opened his mouth to protest some more, but Nick held up hand and cut him off. 

“I know I’ve made mistakes, Steve. Trusting people I shouldn’t have for longer than I should have. And Barnes got hurt because of it. That’s on me, and I know it. But I need you to trust me on this. I know what I’m about. Two weeks ago I was the Spirit of Hanukkah, last week I was the Spirit of Yule. In twelve days I’ll be the Spirit of Epiphany. But today I’m THE Spirit of Christmas, so get out of my office and let me work my fucking Christmas Miracles in my own goddamn way, all right?” 

Steve glared at Nick, but he let Clint and Nat pull him toward the door. “This isn’t over, Nick. I’ll speak to Bucky myself. You can’t make him do this if he doesn’t want to.” 

Nick sat down as the huge double doors closed behind Steve. “Let’s just hope he wants to. For all our sakes,” he muttered as he picked up his pen and got back to his ledger. 

  



	3. Chapter 3

  


Tony woke with a start, heart racing. He rolled over and tried to breath slower, rubbing a hand over his scarred chest. 

Jarvis, bless him, noticed Tony was awake. “It is now 3pm on December 24th. You are in your room in Stark Tower. You have been asleep for 5 hours. The temperature outside is zero degrees Celsius, with snow flurries expected throughout the day.” 

Tony closed his eyes for a moment. Well, five hours was better than none. He sat up with a sigh. There was no getting back to sleep after a dream like _that_. He’d had a lot of horrible dreams since his ordeal in Afghanistan, and everything that came after, but this one was possibly the worst and weirdest one yet. He sat up with a sigh. 

“Jarvis, get the coffee started. I’ll be there in a second,” Tony said as he rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. 

“Sir, if I may, you really should try and get some more sleep.” 

Tony pulled off the t-shirt and dropped the boxers he’d slept in and kicked them toward the corner. He paused to look in the mirror. Between the mass of scar tissue over his chest, the three day stubble, and the dark circles under his eyes, he was beginning to look like a zombie. 

“Yeah, no, not happening,” he sighed. “Sorry J, not after that dream.” 

He turned on the shower and stepped in, closing his eyes as the hot water from the five shower heads hit him. _‘Glorious_ ’ he thought. He took a moment just to enjoy it. 

“Hey J, remind me to throw out those leftovers from the fridge. I think eating five day old green curry on bean burritos right before crashing might have been a mistake.” 

“Of course sir,” Jarvis said flatly. “Who could have predicted such a thing?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know you told me it was too old, but it was the only thing that was easy.” 

Jarvis didn’t seem to have an answer for that. 

Tony finished showering. This time he avoided looking in the mirror as he dried off and brushed his teeth, before dressing and heading out to the kitchen. 

He filled a giant mug with coffee and took an enormous, too hot, soul soothing gulp. Tony leaned back against the counter and looked out toward the wall of windows. 

And froze. 

There was a man in his living room. There was a man next to the sliding door, sitting cross-legged on the floor. He squinted and looked harder. Nope, still there. 

The man was facing away from Tony, with his forehead and right hand pressed against the glass looking out over the city. Tony couldn’t see his face, but he could see he had shoulder length brown hair, black jeans, a red henley and black leather boots. 

“Jarvis, intruder alert,” he whispered. 

There was no answer. 

“Jarvis,” he said louder. “There’s an intruder in the penthouse.” 

There was still no answer. The man with his head against the window hadn’t moved or make a sound. 

Tony frowned and tried to think back. Had he blacked out and brought home a one-night stand? No, he hadn’t done that since before Afghanistan. He couldn’t possibly have done that and not remembered. 

He thought back through his day: work, projects, work, phone call, questionable food choices, sleep, really weird dream, shower. 

Wait - maybe this was still a dream? But dreams didn’t usually come with coffee. He took another long sip. Nope, still hot coffee. What were people supposed to do to see if they were awake? 

He tried pinching himself hard with the hand not holding his mug. 

“Shit, ow,” he said as his coffee sloshed. “That hurt.” 

“You’re not dreaming,” the man in the window said. “You’re awake. I’ve been assigned as your Christmas Ghost.” His voice was low and slightly gravelly. 

Tony waited, but there didn’t seem to be any more forthcoming. The man didn’t move a muscle, just kept looking out the window. 

He wasn’t acting dangerously, but the guy was obviously not one of Tony’s regular overeager fans. His normal fans weren’t able to disable Jarvis. Plus they were usually a lot more, well, fannish. 

The coffee must have started working, because his brain caught up to what the guy had said. Christmas Ghost. _‘Shit,’_ Tony thought, _‘this is one of those idiot protesters.’_

Tony was suddenly, completely awake. Who needs caffeine when you have adrenaline? 

He took a breath and turned set his cup on the counter. Tony made sure to set it down loudly, while he carefully, and hopefully covertly, pulled a steak knife from the block on the counter. He slid the knife up his right sleeve, twisting his wrist to keep it in place. 

He slowly moved toward the elevator, never taking his eyes off the intruder. 

The man on the floor just kept looking out the window. 

Tony made it safely to the elevator and pushed the button. The man at the window sat up a straight and dropped his hand into his lap. 

“That’s not going to work,” he said. “You can’t leave until you’ve been Redeemed.” 

_‘Yeah, right,’_ Tony thought. _‘Like hell I’m sticking around here.’_ He waited anxiously, but there was no comforting ‘ding’. The elevator wasn’t working. He darted 10 feet over to the stairway door and grabbed it with his free hand. The handle turned, but when he yanked, the door remained closed. His guest must somehow have jammed the door and disabled the elevator. Shit. 

Tony turned around and took several deep breaths, trying to remain calm despite his mounting anger. This guy may have the tech to freeze his elevator and block Jarvis, but he was just one guy. Nobody kept Tony Stark prisoner and enjoyed the experience. Just ask the Ten Rings. 

He walked back to the sitting area. 

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I’m...” Tony trailed off and did a double take as he caught a glimpse out the window. “What the hell?” 

Just beyond the balcony there was a flock of pigeons wheeling past the tower. Nothing unusual there, except these pigeons were suspended in the sky, frozen between one wing beat and the next. Tony looked past the pigeons. The traffic below didn’t seem to be moving. The flags on the roof of the next building were stiff, arrested mid snap. Looking closer, he could see that even the snowflakes drifting in the air weren’t moving, fixed in the sky like some impossibly broken snow globe. It was as if someone had hit pause on the world outside this room. 

  



	4. Chapter 4

  


Tony looked at the man sitting on the floor. He realized that he’d moved right up to the window in his distraction and was standing almost on top of the man. From this angle Tony could see that the man was missing his left arm, his shirt tailored with only one sleeve. 

“It’s so peaceful here,” the man said, glancing up, meeting Tony’s eyes. He sounded a little wistful. 

From this close the man didn’t look dangerous. In fact, taking in his upturned face, his blue eyes and the bow of his upper lip, all Tony could think was _beautiful_. Which made a strange sort of sense. Because he was absolutely still dreaming. 

_‘If you’re going to dream up a mysterious intruder, they might as well have the face of an angel. Way to go me,’_ Tony thought. He turned back to the window and the static view. He put his hand on the glass. It felt cold. Could you feel cold in dreams? 

“This is officially the strangest dream I’ve ever had,” Tony said. 

The man at his feet suddenly moved, going from cross-legged to standing in one smooth motion. The light caught his eyes as he turned to face Tony, and for a split second they flashed blue-white. Tony took a step back, startled. His visitor was a few inches taller than him, and certainly a lot more dangerous looking now that he was on his feet. 

“Look, I already said this ain’t a dream.” Tall, dark and handsome sounded annoyed. And like he was from Brooklyn. “Didn’t you get the PVAM?” 

He moved a hand through the air, and produced a book. He flipped it open and awkwardly tried to move the pages with his fingers as he held it. 

_‘Don’t ask, don’t ask.’_ Tony thought. Oh, who was he kidding. “What’s a PVAM?” 

The guy frowned, finally finding the page he was looking for. “PVAM. Your Pre-Visitation Apparition Messenger.” 

“My what now?” 

The guy breathed in deep and let it out slowly. He was still frowning. 

“You should have gotten a visit from an Apparition to tell you that you were about to be visited by a Christmas Ghost. You know, someone you knew in life to tell you how you need to change your attitude.” He glanced at the page. “It’s checked off right here – one visit by a Mr. Obadiah Stane.” 

He waved the book in front of Tony’s face. Tony peered at it but all he could see was a blank page. A faintly glowing page, but blank nonetheless. 

It took him a moment, but what the ‘Christmas Ghost’ said finally registered. 

“You're kidding, right? You actually want me to believe you’re an actual Ghost of Christmas and you’re here to, what, hit me in the face with a toaster!?” 

“A toaster? Why the hell would I hit you with a toaster?” The guy sounded confused. He stepped back, the book disappearing as he threw his hand up in the air. 

“Well, it’s a movie….” 

“No, no, stop right there.” The ‘Ghost’ held up a hand to cut Tony off. “I just want to get this done, and I need to do it by the book. Did you or did you not get a visit from Obadiah Stane?” 

Tony took a step back. “If you call that fucked-up nightmare I had a ‘visit’ then yes, I did,” he said angrily. “But forgive me if I didn’t pay much attention to what he had to say. I usually tend to avoid listening to anything said by dead people who’ve tried to kill me.” 

The Ghost widened his eyes. “Shit, wait, you’re saying this guy tried to kill you? Really?” 

Tony nodded tightly. 

The Ghost rubbed his hand over his face. “That’s not supposed to happen. Your Apparition is supposed to be an old friend, or a family member I think. You know, someone you respected when you were younger.” 

Tony was still angry. “Yeah, well, good job there,” he started, crossing his arms over his chest. And immediately stabbed himself in the arm. 

“Shit, shit, shit! That hurts!” Tony yelled. “Goddammit!” He had totally forgotten the knife in his sleeve. _‘Idiot’_ he thought.

Tony straightened out his right arm and shook it so the knife fell out onto the floor. He grabbed his arm tightly with his left hand. It really hurt. He clutched it to chest, hissing through his teeth. 

His visitor paled and instantly reached out as if to touch Tony’s arm. As he reached out with his right hand, another arm seemed to appear on his left side, flickering into existence. The left hand that reached toward him seemed to fluctuate in and out for moment, then disappeared entirely. Tony jerked his arm back. 

“I just wanted to help, geez,” said the Ghost. “What the hell did you have a knife up your sleeve for anyway?” 

“Well, forgive me for wanting to defend myself from home invaders,” Tony winced. 

“If you let me look at it, I might be able to do something about that.” The Ghost looked hopeful. His right hand was twitching, like he was having to stop himself from touching Tony. 

Tony considered his predicament. Either he was hallucinating, or something strange was definitely going on. Once upon a time he would have gone with denial, but look where that had gotten him in life. No, better to accept that this was happening, at least until a better plan presented itself. 

Decision made Tony lowered the hand clutching his injury and extended his arm to The Ghost. 

The Ghost gently rolled up the sleeve of his over-shirt and the long sleeve tee underneath. The knife had cut a long, shallow gash in his arm before gouging in deep at the end of the cut. 

The Ghost tentatively reached out, but stopped just before he touched Tony’s arm. It almost looked like his hand was glowing a little. Then the light fizzed out. The Ghost jerked his hand back. He looked down and away. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” the Ghost said. “I thought maybe I could get that to work.” For all that he was the injured party, Tony thought that maybe the Ghost was the one who was in worse shape. Whatever he had tried to do had left him pale and his hand trembling. 

“No, no, it’s OK, whatever,” Tony said. He put pressure back on his arm. “There’s a first aid kit in the kitchen. It’s not that bad, I’ll just get a bandage on it.” 

Tony turned around and headed into the kitchen, leaving his guest in the living room. He retrieved the first aid kit from the cupboard and proceeded to wash his arm in the sink. Years of treating his own lab related injuries had made him an expert at this. 

Once he washed his arm though, Tony could see that his wound wasn’t really bleeding. It didn’t hurt anymore either, but there was still a hole in his arm. _‘Well, what’s another weird thing in this already fucked-up day?’_ he thought. He decided to put a bandage on it now, in case it did start to bleed later. 

While he was bandaging his arm, Tony took the time to think over his predicament. 

_‘Obviously this isn’t a dream and it’s probably not a hallucination either. So that leaves that this is really happening. Somebody who says they’re a Christmas Spirit or Ghost or whatever is in my living room. Somebody with the power to control time.’_ Tony smiled. The Christmas Ghost might want to keep him prisoner here, but everyone who’d tried that had come out on the losing end. This was no different. He was Tony Fucking Stark, and if there was anyone who could turn a kidnapping around, it was him. He’d had enough practice at it after all. 

Decision made, Tony finished cleaning up. He stuffed the first aid kit back in the cupboard, took a deep breath and headed back out to his visitor. 

  



	5. Chapter 5

  


Tony cautiously looked into the living room. His guest was standing right where Tony had left him, staring down at the small smear of blood on the floor, absently rubbing his left shoulder with his right hand. Tony wondered about the ghostly limb he’d seen. A phantom limb for a ghost. Would that make it a phantom phantom limb? Was the man having phantom phantom pains? Tony wanted to say that things couldn’t get any weirder, but the way this day was going? The bar for weird shit was obviously set in some galaxy far, far away. 

But he had a tentative plan. Now, it was time for some answers. 

Tony cleared his throat and re-entered the room. His guest looked up and quickly dropped his hand. 

“So,” Tony started “I think maybe that got away from us a little. Let’s sit down, start over, and see if we can make sense of this.” 

His guest gave a short nod. “Yeah, sure, sounds great.” 

Tony ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, great, wonderful. OK, never had a Ghost visit before, but this is a business meeting right? And the first rule of any business meeting is make lots of coffee! I need my coffee, never finished my coffee. Do Ghosts drink? Do you want some coffee?” he asked the Ghost. 

The Ghost widened his eyes, clearly surprised. “What?” 

“I asked if you wanted some coffee. I’ve got regular already made, but I can whip up just about anything you want. Latte, cappuccino? Or maybe you want some tea? Wait, you’re a Christmas Guy right, you probably drink seasonal-themed beverages like peppermint hot chocolate, crème brûlée shake, flying reindeer tears, hmm?” Tony grinned. 

His guest’s face creased in concern. Obviously, he was stumped at the idea of hot beverages. Or he didn’t like Tony’s quips. Well, he wouldn’t be the first person who didn’t appreciate Tony’s very fine sense of humor. 

“Why would...” his guest trailed off. Tony almost started to say something, but stopped. Something in those blue eyes made him pause. 

After a moment, his guest seemed to come to a decision. 

“I’m not sure what most of those are, but I’ll have whatever you’re having,” he said. 

Not the answer Tony was expecting, based on how much thought obviously went into it. 

“OK, you don’t know coffee. Let’s go in the kitchen and I’ll make you some. If you don’t like it, let me know, and we’ll try something else.” 

Once in the kitchen, Tony indicated that his guest should take a seat at the table. He dumped his old coffee out and refilled his cup from the pot. Tony grabbed a mug for Ghost and set both of them on the table. The sugar was already out, so he got some cream from the fridge. He detoured to the pantry and grabbed a package of Double Stuff Oreos on the way back. Christmas Ghosts ate cookies, right? Or was that Santa? He shrugged to himself. Whatever. 

Tony put the cream down by Ghost, and reached back to grab a tablet from the kitchen counter. With Jarvis down, he doubted he’d be able to pull up the interface built into the kitchen table, but he wanted to take notes. Where the security cameras working? Could they record a ghost or would he just look like a lens flare? Were Abrams movies actually haunted? So many questions. 

Ghost was just sitting in his chair, staring at his coffee. Tony sat opposite him. 

“So, you know who I am, what should I call you? Do you prefer Spirit, Ghost, Supernatural Entity? That seems sort of impolite if we’re going to be working together. Do you have a name? Wait, sorry, _am_ I allowed to know your name? Or would that give me power over you?” Tony said. 

Ghost frowned at the string of questions. “No, it wouldn’t give you power over me, geez.” He looked unhappy at that. “Christmas Ghost is just the job I’m doing. I guess you can call me Ghost or Spirit. I don’t remember what the book said, but I’m just supposed to follow the instructions.” Ghost looked like he might want to add something, but instead he waved his hand and the book once again magically appeared. 

Now that he was closer, Tony could see it was an actual book, with thick parchment pages and a leather binding. It was also still faintly glowing. Ghost set it on the table and opened it. He appeared to be reading, but Tony didn’t see any words on the page. Maybe it was Ghost writing. He’d heard of that right? Or wait, maybe that was spirit writing. 

Tony drank some of his coffee and rubbed a hand over his forehead. He’d never once in all his years of study thought he’d have to factor the supernatural into his world view. Who knew? Maybe he should have skipped all the engineering and majored in mythology. Or pop culture. 

His guest was turning pages, obviously looking for an answer. So, what, he was new at this? Somehow Tony got assigned a rookie Ghost? Maybe he could use this to his advantage. 

Tony took another long drink of coffee. “Look, you want to drink your coffee before it gets cold. If you don’t like it, try adding these.” He scooted the cream and sugar closer. “I like mine either way. And here.” He opened the cookies and tipped the package up, spilling a bunch on the table. “Help yourself.” 

Ghost looked up and sighed. “I can’t find anything about not telling you my name. It just says I’m supposed to tell you I’m your Christmas Ghost, then take you through the Manifestations.” He bit his lip as he thought. “You’re right. I guess calling me Ghost is kinda, ya know, impersonal?” 

Tony waited while he thought about it some more. 

“I guess you can call me Bu – James. You can call me James,” he said, sounding more sure of himself at the end. 

“Great, good! James it is, James. Nice to meet you. You can call me Tony.” Tony took a cookie and unscrewed it. He ate one of the chocolate pieces and unscrewed another. He ate the bare cookie half. Then he jammed the two halves with filling together to make a Quadruple Stuff Oreo. He took a bite and savored it. Ah, breakfast of champions. 

James picked up his coffee cup and took a tentative sip. He looked confused, but he drank some more. Then, James set down the coffee and picked up a cookie. He tentatively nibbled the edges. 

“It’s sweet,” he said. He looked surprised, but in a good way. Tony just nodded to encourage him. Looked like ghosts have a sweet tooth. 

“If you like sweet, you should add some sugar to your coffee,” Tony nodded again, this time to the cup. 

While James was adding sugar to his coffee and testing it, Tony turned on his tablet. Nothing happened. Dammit. He held up the tablet and waved it at James. “Is this you too?” he asked. “Did you turn off all the electronics when you paused the world?” 

James looked at the tablet. “Yeah, I guess so? I’m not sure. Maybe if I...” he reached out and touched the tablet. Nothing happened. He looked thoughtful for a moment, then picked up the book and touched it to the tablet. The tablet chimed and powered on. 

James smiled at Tony. It was the first real smile Tony had seen, and it changed his entire face. 

_‘Ohh, this face is so much better than grumpy cat face,’_ Tony thought. Not that the grumpy face wasn’t cute, but his smile, wow. 

Tony found himself smiling back. “Thanks. OK, notes, let’s take some notes, get down to business.” Tony started typing on his tablet. “So, from what you’ve said, I’m guessing this is like a Christmas Carol-type situation, right?” he asked. 

James looked confused again. “Wait, I think I remember that. It’s a book?” 

“Yeah, it’s a book by Charles Dickens. It’s a classic. It’s also been made into a _lot_ of Movies and performed as plays. Lots of terrible high school plays.” He paused, then decided to take a chance. “Hell, I once saw an off-off-off Broadway production of A Christmas Carol where the Ghosts were naked. To bad that part wasn’t accurate, huh?” Tony waggled his eyebrows. 

That earned him a pout and an eye roll. “Yeah right, pal, in your dreams,” James said, making a quadruple Oreo of his own. He seemed to enjoy it. 

Tony smirked. He may not know what was going on yet, but at least James hadn’t backed down from a challenge. Always good to know during negotiations. 

“OK, great, we’re on a roll,” Tony continued. “Let’s just go over the facts, make sure we don’t miss something in the details. In the book the main character, Scrooge, is visited by three Christmas Spirits. The Spirits show him the ‘error of his ways,’” Tony air quoted. “And at the end he finds his Holiday Spirit or Christmas Cheer, whatever. So I’m supposed to be Scrooge, right? And since you’re here first you must be the Ghost of Christmas Past.” 

James had been sipping his coffee, now with about 5 spoonfuls of sugar in it, nodding along to Tony’s points. Until the last one. He put down his cup and glanced away, than back, embarrassed. 

“You’re right about the Visitations, but it’s, ah, just me. I’m not the Ghost of Christmas Past, I’m just your Christmas Ghost, just me. You only get one.” 

Tony didn’t know what to make of that. Just one Ghost? Should he be offended? 

“So I _don’t_ get three Ghosts? Why? Was that part of the book wrong? Or don’t I rate three Ghosts?” 

“No, normally you’d get three Ghosts,” he sounded apologetic. “Look I’m not really a Ghost at all, or you know, Christmas Spirit, I’m just filling in. The Holiday Spirit Department was short-staffed and the usual Ghosts of Past, Present and Future are all on an important mission. So Fury asked me to fill in.” 

Tony frowned. 

“Look, if it makes you feel any better Fury did say that you were really important. That it was vital that someone Visit you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken this mis - assignment.” 

Tony felt slightly better. He typed that all into his tablet. Interesting, and at the same time, another contradiction. He was important, yet he somehow rated the ‘B’ team? The electronics weren’t working, yet the lights were on. The world outside was frozen, yet Tony could still move objects like knives and cookies. He was going to need a lot more data. 

Tony refocused on James. “So,” Tony asked, “you said you weren’t really a Ghost. Did you mean like you’re not usually a Christmas Ghost, or not a Ghost in general?” 

“No, Ghost or Spirit is just a job description. I’ve never worked for The Holidays before. I’m not an actual Ghost...” James paused. “I’m an Angel.” 

Tony choked on his coffee. 

“Well, I was... I mean I still am. An Angel.” James didn’t sound very confident, and he was rubbing his shoulder again. 

Tony cleared his throat. “An Angel. Of course you are. I think I’m going to need something stronger than coffee. Excuse me.” Tony got up and went into the living room to the bar. He grabbed a bottle at random and took a swig. He set it down carefully. He took time to gaze once more on the damn frozen pigeons. 

_‘An angel. Sure, why not?’_ Tony closed his eyes. _‘Did that mean there was a God as well? There went all those years of dedicated atheism. On the other hand, maybe the term ‘Angel’ had a different meaning to James. Was it really any stranger eating Oreos with an Angel than with a Ghost?’_ he thought. _‘It probably shouldn’t make a difference, but hell, a one-armed Angel? Weren’t Angels supposed to be perfect?’_ Tony took another drink. _‘OK, focus, need to focus. Whatever James is, he’s stopped time. Time I need. Stick to the plan.’_

Tony opened his eyes. He took one more swig from the bottle, then put it down and went back in the kitchen. 

James had left the table and was standing in the pantry. He had a can of Spaghetti O’s in his hand. He was studying it as if he’d never seen anything like it. Which he probably hadn’t. 

“OK, I’m back,” Tony announced. He picked up his cup and refilled it. “Just needed a moment to myself. Sorry.” _‘Stay calm, stay calm. You can do this Tony,’_ he thought. _‘Remember to keep the end goal in sight.’_

Tony refilled James’s cup, and they both sat down again. James ignored his cup in favor of eating all the cookies. 

“OK,” Tony started, “Leaving aside the Angel thing for moment, let’s go over why you’re here. Christmas has never been my thing, I admit that. I’ve never really had a good one. But I don’t hate it.” Tony paused. “Well, to be fair, I did hate it a lot when I was younger. Now I’m kind of ambivalent. So why the visit now, not 10 years ago when I really did hate Christmas?” 

Before James could answer Tony continued. “And what’s with the whole Christmas thing? I mean, I’m an atheist, but what if I was, I don’t know, Jewish, or Hindu or Muslim? Why does it need to be a Christmas Thing, hmm? What if I want to celebrate the Feast of Alvis?” 

James held up his hand to interrupt when it seemed like Tony was going to keep going. 

“Look, pal, like I said, this is not something I usually do. Nick Fury is currently in charge of the Holiday Spirits. From what I remember, there are protocols for all the religions, faiths, what have you. Even atheists, I guess. But you activated the one for Christmas, so you get the Christmas treatment.” 

“I activated a Christmas Carol scenario? Really? That doesn’t sound like something I would do,” Tony said. 

James looked at him skeptically. He pulled the magic book out of the air and thumbed it open. 

“Did you or did you not say and I quote: ‘I swear if one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to put a holly stake through their heart?’” James raised an eyebrow. “And you called people who wish you a ‘Merry Christmas’ idiots. You said anyone who enjoys Christmas should be shot. You even used the phrase ‘Bah, Humbug’ more than once. Unironically.” James closed the book and disappeared it. “So yeah, you tripped all the Christmas triggers. Why, did you want some other Holiday Visitation experience? Cause I only studied the Christmas one, but the others are all in the book. Makes no difference to me, as long as you get Redeemed,” James sounded a little annoyed. 

“What does that mean exactly? Redeemed. You said that before,” Tony said testily. 

“Redeemed, saved, you know, reconnect with your basic humanity?” James said irritably. 

“Oh fuck you!” Tony said angrily. “Find my basic humanity? You can say that now? After everything that happened to me in the last year? You know what, no. I’m not doing this. You can just unfreeze everything and get the hell out of my house. I don’t need to be ‘Redeemed.’ I don’t need ‘Christmas Spirit.’ I certainly don’t need some ‘Angel,’” Tony spat sarcastically, “to tell me I’ve lost my humanity. I don’t care who you are. Or what you are. Get Out!” Tony stood up, glaring at James. 

James pushed his chair back and stood. He looked angry, and his eyes flashed blue for just a second. “You don’t get to decide that! You are my mission, and I’ve got to finish it!” James shouted. He took a step back, looking startled, as if he’d surprised himself with his own words. 

“Yeah, no. I don’t think so.” Tony didn’t want to find out what James had to say next. He strode out of the kitchen, through the living room and took the stairs down to his workshop. He got all the way to the door, but of course it wouldn’t open. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!” Tony yelled. He turned around and slid down to the ground with his back against the door. He needed to calm down. This couldn’t be good for his heart. He rubbed his hand absently over his chest. 

_‘Good job sticking to the plan, dumbass,’_ Tony thought. _‘There’s a reason you have Pepper handle all the important negotiations.’_

Tony thought back to what he knew of the Christmas Carol in particular and Angels in general. He had glossed it over when talking to James, but he had studied the Classics in boarding school. If Angels were real, then they probably weren’t the fluffy joy-bringers people made them out to be. And unless this was the Muppet version of a Christmas Carol, there was probably going to be some smiting in his future. 

_‘Way to go, Tony. Piss off the otherworldly entity,’_ he thought. 

Tony wasn’t sure how long he sat there before he heard footsteps as James came down the stairs. He didn’t look angry. If anything, he looked worried. 

When he reached the bottom, he sat down on the steps.They stared at each other for a few moments. 

James took a deep breath. “I am so sorry,” he finally said. 

Tony didn’t say anything. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting. 

“I am sorry,” James repeated. “You deserve a better Christmas Ghost. A real Christmas Ghost.” He sighed and looked at Tony. “I’m sorry about the humanity thing. You’re right, I don’t know anything about you. Or what you’ve been through.” He was rubbing his shoulder again. “I don’t know what you did to deserve a Visitation. But I’ve got to get this assignment finished. Nick said it was crucial. Well, he implied it, which for him is the same as...” he trailed off. “You don’t care about any of that.” James hunched down. “Shit.” He put his head in his hand and leaned back against the stairs. 

Tony studied the angel. He did look genuinely sorry, in fact he looked crushed. Tony felt a stab of sympathy. Great, he’d made an Angel sad. If there was a hell, well he was probably going there anyway, but he’d doubtless get extra lashes for making an Angel look like that. 

Tony blew out a breath and got on his feet. He walked over to James. 

“Hey, James, come on. Get up,” he said, poking James in the ankle with his foot. 

James opened his eyes and sighed. 

“Yeah, OK,” he said, getting to his feet. 

They stood there, staring at each other. 

“Can you open the door to the shop?” Tony asked finally. 

James quirked his mouth. “Sure. Why not?” he said. 

He went over to the door and touched it with the magic book. The keypad lit up. Tony pulled the door open and entered the lab. James followed right behind him. 

“What is all this stuff?” James asked. He was turning slowly in a circle, taking in all of the equipment, projects and clutter. Tony had left several holographic displays going. They were still lit up, but they were unmoving, frozen in the air. The shop was deathly quiet, something that never happened. 

“This is my workshop,” Tony gave sweeping gesture. “This is where the magic happens.” 

James looked fascinated. “It’s been a long time since I was on earth. And I thought your room upstairs was fancy. This is amazing.” 

“Oh, it’s amazing all right. I could show you just how amazing it is if you could get everything working in here. Do you think you could maybe just unfreeze this room?” Tony said hopefully. 

“I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules,” James said, but he didn’t sound very adamant about it. 

“Come on,” Tony said. “Look, let me just ask something. You said you need to do this job as Ghost, and I get that, dedication to duty, great, but is there some kind of time limit on it? Because it seems like you’ve created a little sub-space time bubble here. Time seems to be something we have a lot of right now.” Tony took a step closer to James. “So is it just the two of us in this bubble? Or can all Angels run outside normal time? Is someone going to drop in on us, follow up on you?” 

“No, as far as I know it’s just the two of us. Angels can’t bend the rules of time unless they’re on an assignment and have an object of power. And objects of power are kept under pretty close guard these days,” James said, distracted by the holograms. 

Tony made a mental note to ask about objects of power and what happened in the days they weren’t under guard. But right now he needed to focus at the task at hand. 

“So if we’re the only two beings in this bubble, than we can take all the time we want, right? I don’t have to go look at my lousy past Christmases right away. We’ve got all the time in the universe to finish your mission,” Tony said. He put on his ‘win the board over’ face. 

James gave a slight flinch at the word mission. “I’m not sure that’s the way it works.This is my first assignment back, and I need to do this right.” 

“OK,” Tony said. He put on his best ‘persuade Pepper’ face. “I’ll make you a deal. You turn on the things in my lab so I can get some work done. I’ve got a few really important projects I’ve gotten behind on. Let me catch up on a few of those while time is stopped. For every project I finish, we can go on one of your ‘manifestations’ or ‘visions’ or whatever. What do you say?” 

James looked thoughtful. He closed his eyes. It looked like he was listening to something far away. He opened his eyes, and in the dim light of the lab, Tony thought they flashed blue again. 

“OK, you’ve got a deal,” James said, sticking out his hand. 

Tony grasped his hand. It felt real, solid and warm. They shook. 

“All right! Deal,” Tony said. He took a step back from James. “So what can we do about getting all this working?” 

“I’ve got an idea,” James said. “You might want to step back. I don’t know if it will work.” Tony took a few steps back, while James pulled got the book out. He bowed his head over it and held it tight. He whispered to it with a look of concentration on his face. 

A wave of golden light pulsed out from the book and spread across the room and out through the walls. As it spread, the workshop filled with all the noises Tony loved. The holo displays started moving again. Dummy whirled in his charging station. 

“Sir!” Jarvis sounded startled. “Do you require assistance? There is an unauthorized person in the workshop with you. I am unsure how he gained access.” 

“No, Jarvis, stand down. This is James. He’ll be our guest for a while.” 

James, meanwhile, was looking around in confusion, startled by the voice, the lights and motion. 

“That’s my AI, Jarvis. AI stands for artificial intelligence. You know, sort of like a computer program, but better,” Tony said proudly. 

“What’s a computer?” James asked. He wandered over to Dummy and started poking at him. “Who’s this?” He looked delighted when Dummy poked him back. He looked up at Tony. “And what the hell is the Feast of Alvis?” 

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but he was pretty sure it was going to be a disaster. 

  



	6. Chapter 6

  


“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

Clint shrugged. “Nope, not kidding. Make yourself at home. Don’t mind the dog!” he said cheerfully. 

Steve looked around the apartment that Clint and Natasha had brought him to. It was small, with a loft and open kitchen. There was a target on the wall full of arrows and a scruffy couch. He couldn’t form an opinion on the coffee table, since it was covered with an old pizza box and magazines. A largish brown one-eyed dog, Lucky, he assumed, was enthusiastically trying to get Steve to pet him. He gave in and ruffled his ears. 

“How come you don’t fix his eye?” Steve asked. 

“I tried,” Clint called from the kitchen. “Didn’t take. Don’t ask me why. Lucky there has his own reasons for doing things.” 

Natasha looked up from where she was clearing space on the couch. “Your apartment is a stye. What kind of Angel can’t keep an apartment clean?” 

“Ha! Jokes on you,” Clint called from the kitchen. “I cleaned last week. I knew this week was going to be busy, what with Christmas and all. You should have seen it the week before. Now that was a disaster!” 

“You’re a disaster,” Nat muttered under her breath as she rolled her eyes. 

Somewhere along the way she’d lost her elf costume and was now dressed in fuzzy socks, sweatpants and a truly hideous red Christmas sweater with an obscene snowman on it. The felt carrot actually jutted out from the front the sweater. Clint was still wearing his elf outfit, pointy ears included. 

Steve huffed out a breath. “This is taking too long,” he said impatiently. 

“Steve, man, it’s literally been less than one second,” Clint said. He came over from the kitchen carrying a bag of chips and a can of peanuts. He shoved the pizza box and magazines off the coffee table to make room. “You’ve got to relax. I’m sure he’s fine.” 

Steve made an impatient gesture. “OK, but since we’ve been talking it’s been more like a minute. Bucky should have been done by now.” 

“No, it’s been less than a second. It still is.” Clint looked at him meaningfully. 

Steve quickly expanded his senses, looking for Bucky. And was blocked at the edges of the room. They were in a time sink. He looked around the room and saw it, propped carelessly in the corner: the Golden Bow. 

“So I guess Fury wasn’t kidding when he said to keep me here,” he said flatly. 

Natasha finished brushing crumbs off the cushions and sat down on the couch. “Steve, I know you’re worried. But I’m sure Bucky is fine.” 

“Do you know that, Nat? Do you? Tell me what you’ve Seen that makes you so sure!” Steve said angrily. 

Natasha looked up at Steve, her face still. “You know I can’t tell you about the future Steve.” 

Steve met her gaze straight on. That was the thing Natasha liked about Steve. He was one of the few beings who knew what she was and would still met her gaze head on. 

But sometimes that same determination made him a pain in the ass. 

Natasha sighed. “Steve, sit.” 

When he did, she reached out and took his hand. That was the thing she loved about Steve. He wasn’t afraid to touch her, knowing what she was. “I know how much you care. We all care. But you need to let this happen,” she said. 

Clint sat on Steve other side. “Nat’s right. Come on Steve, you have to admit, you weren’t making much progress doing it your way. I know you were just giving him time to heal, but I think maybe it’s time to push a little.” 

Steve turned his head to look at Clint. “Is that what he needs? A push? After everything that was done to him?” he said harshly. 

Clint sighed and leaned back. “We know how worried you are Steve. We can feel it. We’re worried too. We love Bucky as much as you do. You know we do. But Nick has a plan. Maybe you should trust him.” 

Steve tensed up, ready to fight, even if he had no hope of winning against Natasha. He was always ready to fight when he thought he was right. He _was_ the Spirit of Justice, after all. 

“Like we trusted him about the Council?” he snapped. 

Nat squeezed his hand to get his attention. She let a little Darkness flow into the corners of the room, to let Steve feel how serious she was. 

“He’s not getting better, Steve, I know you can see it. We need to try something new and this is a good plan Steve, you know it is. Phil’s the one who came up with it, and Nick agrees. So do Clint and I. You’re thinking with your heart and not your head, or you’d see it too. ” 

Steve sighed and seemed to deflate. “You’re right, Nat. You are. Sorry.” He rubbed his hands over his face and leaned back on the couch. “I know it’s probably a good idea. It’s just... he’s my best friend. He was even before we became Angels. I lost him for so long, that maybe I... Maybe I am holding on too tight.” 

Nat dropped Steve’s hand and patted him on the knee. “Good boy,” she said cheerfully. She let the Darkness leave. 

Clint looked suspicious at Steve’s sudden surrender, but he just shrugged at her behind Steve’s back. They both knew Steve never gave up that easily. 

“Look,” Steve said apologetically. “You’ve got me trapped here in a time sink. You two don’t have to stick around. I mean, it is Christmas Eve, I would think the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Future would have better things to do. You know you don’t have to stay and terrorize me, you could be out terrorizing people who actually deserve it.” 

Natasha rolled her eyes. Clint laughed. 

“Yeah, right, like that’s going to work, Rogers!” Clint said. “Phil’s covering for us, so you’re stuck with us until this is over.” 

“So Phil can cover for both of you? On Christmas Eve?” Steve asked skeptically. “I know there are over 14 million people who are millionaires or better in the world. You’re saying Christmas Present can deal with all of the greedy selfish ones? By himself?” 

“Ha!” Clint said waving his hands. “Of course Phil’s got it covered. Never underestimate the power of internet shaming. Who needs Visitations when you have social media? Phil’s a genius on Twitter and Tumblr!” 

“So what are we paying you for?” Steve asked, smiling. 

Nat poked him in the side. “They’re paying us to babysit you.” 

“Yeah, Cindy Lou Who,” Clint added, poking his other side. “We’re babysitting you.” 

“Who’s Cindy Lou Who?” Steve asked. He turned to Nat. “Is that someone I should know?” 

“Oh, now you’ve done it.” Nat muttered at the same time Clint whooped and said “Yes! Grinch time!” 

Clint jumped up and ran to the shelves next to the TV. At least, Steve assumed it was a TV. The last time he’d seen one the screens had been a lot smaller and the sets a lot bigger. 

Nat looked sternly at Clint. “Just the cartoon. Not that horrible movie!” she said. Clint turned around waving two slim cases. 

“No way! I’m making popcorn and we’re watching both. Look, Lucky’s in the Spirit.” 

Steve turned to look at Clint’s dog. He’d lain down on the far side of the coffee table, chewing up the pizza box. Now he was sitting up and wagging his tail. For some reason he had a branch tied to his head and a large napkin around his neck. 

Steve heard Clint in the kitchen singing “Fah-who-foraze! Dah-who-doraze!” 

He turned to Nat with a look of confusion. Nat just shook her head. She grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and snuggled into it. The snowman’s carrot on her sweater made an equally obscene bump under the blanket. She plopped her feet into Steve’s lap. “Just go with it, Rogers,” she said. 

“Yes, Ma’am” Steve said as he started rubbing Nat’s feet. He could wait for now. He and Bucky were both time-stopped. That meant they had all the time in the world. He just needed a plan. 

  



	7. Chapter 7

  


James opened the doors to the balcony and slipped outside. He had spent a while talking to Tony, while he tried to explain Jarvis and the bots. Then he’d spent some time interacting with Jarvis, trying to learn more about this world. It had been exhausting. He’d left Tony working in his lab. James doubted Tony even noticed him leaving, he’d been so absorbed in what he was doing. 

He closed the balcony door behind him, and just stood taking in the clouds, the snow, the whole city spread out before him. James knew somehow that he had been here before. This place, this city, felt familiar. Hell, everything felt familiar. He felt like he was living in a permanent state of déjà vu. 

As he walked out to the railing at the edge of the balcony, he carved a path through the snowflakes hanging in the air. They accumulated on his front, covering him in a fine dusting of snow. James looked down at himself, and smirked. He was his very own snow angel. He took a step back and the snowflakes remained behind, a thin white silhouette of his form. 

Except it really wasn’t a snow angel was it? _‘Snow Angel,’_ he thought. _‘What’s a snow angel without wings?’_

James knew Fury was going to kill him. He’d deliberately picked that fight, trying to draw this out. He knew it was wrong, using Stark like that, but he need to buy more time for himself. Time out of the Chorus. He’d agreed to take this job because he’d wanted that so much. Time alone with his own thoughts. Time to hopefully remember something, anything. Things he _knew_ the other Angels were blocking from him. So far, though, there was nothing. Most of his memory was still a gray void. 

Suddenly angry, he punched the snowy silhouette right where his heart would be. _‘What’s an angel without a heart, without Grace?’_ he thought. 

James lowered himself down onto the ground. He lay down with his arm out to the side and stared up at the clouds, at the swirl of snow captured in this moment. Just for a moment he let his eyes look past the clouds, into the cold of space to see the stars. He could feel the icy cold of the balcony tiles through his henley. 

It felt good on the scars on his back. Something about the cold was soothing.Which was so wrong. He was supposed to be an Angel. He shouldn’t be able to feel the cold. He shouldn’t have scars. He shouldn’t be enjoying the still quiet in his mind. And yet... 

_‘Armless, wingless, hopeless; Steve should have just let me Fall,’_ he thought. James couldn’t remember ever crying before. Did Angels cry? What would the others say if they could see him? But they couldn’t see him. Not now. Everything was going according to the plan. He was right where he’d wanted to be. Alone. 

James turned onto his side and curled up in a ball. He covered his head with his arm and wept. 

  



	8. Chapter 8

  


“Sir,” Jarvis interrupted him. 

“Not now, Jarvis, I just got started on this,” Tony had spent some time talking with James, filling him in on Jarvis, the bots, and the lab. He could tell the Angel wasn’t really getting a lot out of it. No context. So he’d set him up with a tablet and turned him over to Jarvis. Jarvis was much better at explaining things patiently. 

“Sir, if I may, it seems there is a situation that needs your attention,” Jarvis said. 

“What, are you stuck already, James?” Tony said turning around. Huh, James was not on the couch where he’d left him. 

“That _is_ the situation, Sir,” Jarvis said, and opened a screen. It was a view of the living room balcony. James was laying on the ground near the rail, curled up in a ball. Tony started. Was he injured? What could hurt an Angel? He was missing an arm, though. Obviously, then there were things that could injure an Angel. Add that to the list of a thousand questions Tony needed to ask. Just how powerful were Angels and what was _more_ powerful than they were? Or did they have Angel-on-Angel violence? 

“Jarvis, can you zoom in and give me audio?” Tony asked. Jarvis did as instructed. 

“Whoah, is he crying?” Tony asked. 

“It would appear so, Sir. He has been for some time. I tried to ask if he needed assistance, but he either did not hear me or could not respond.” 

Tony watched James on the monitor. He sounded just like a regular person, albeit one whose heart was breaking. 

“There’s a Weeping Angel on my balcony,” Tony said. 

“So it would appear,” Jarvis said. He sounded disapproving. 

“Agh,” Tony moaned. What should he do? Should he go up? Should he let James cry alone? There were plenty of days were Tony felt like crying, especially lately. Sometimes a guy just needed to cry. But James wasn’t a guy was he? He was an Angel. Or some, as of yet unknown, definition of Angel. What could make an Angel weep? Nothing good, probably. 

As Tony watched, James started to shiver. Whether from emotion or the cold, Tony didn’t know. But it reminded him of the cave, of just how cold the spring nights were in the mountains of Afghanistan, of shivering on a cot, sick with fever. 

“Save what I’ve got, Jarvis,” Tony said. He got up and headed for the door, pausing to open a drawer and grab a shop rag. 

He headed up the stairs and out to the balcony door. James was still crying, but it seemed less intense. 

Tony opened the door and stepped out. He walked through the path James had made through the snowflakes and sat down cross-legged on the ground about three feet from him. He could tell James was winding down. Better to just wait until he was done. 

Tony looked around at the snow, at the path James had made and at the snow piled up on thin air. Why didn’t the snow fall down? How had James been able to move it? Why were things out here suspended in mid-air while things inside could move freely? 

As he sat there, Tony realized he didn’t feel cold, even though he was sitting on the balcony tiles. His ass should be freezing. Was heat not being transferred? If that was the case, how was he even breathing? He needed to figure out the rules here. There had to be some sort of Angel Physics at work. He was going to have to make more observations. 

This was so, so strange. A few hours ago, he’d been positive James was an enemy of sorts. Now, Tony wasn’t so sure. This didn’t feel like an act. James was really crying, he could feel it. But that didn’t negate the fact that he was still being held here against his will. Well, mostly. If he could find out how James was stopping time, find a way to use that... Because unless he was interpreting this wrong, every minute spent in this time dilation was a minute he wasn’t dying. 

_‘Unless my heart is still failing while I’m here. Was there anyway to tell?’_ He sighed. 

His sigh must have caught James attention. He opened his eyes, staring at Tony. He looked shocked, his pale blue eyes wide, slow tears still falling. Even crying he was beautiful. 

Tony didn’t say anything. What was there to say? He held out his hand and offered James the shop rag. 

“It’s clean, if that’s what you were wondering,” Tony said. 

James unwound his arm from around his head and took the rag. He wiped his face, then dropped his arm down next to his side. He looked so tired, so sad. It made something in Tony’s chest ache. 

Tony leaned back, bracing his arms behind him. He looked up into the snowy sky. “Jarvis told me you were out here, said you might need some company, but I can go if you want,” he said after a few minutes. 

James cleared his throat. “No, ah, no. You can stay. Thanks,” he said. He sounded surprised at Tony’s offer. 

James levered himself up into a sitting position. He wiped his eyes again, then offered the rag back to Tony. 

Tony took it. Maybe he could have Jarvis run some tests on it. 

They sat for a while in silence, until James visibly relaxed. 

“Feeling better?” Tony asked. 

James looked up and nodded. “Yeah,” he started, his voice rough. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I do. Feel better. Thanks.” 

Tony sat up and clapped his hands. “Good! Sometimes you just need to let it out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a good cry in the last year.” 

_‘I can’t believe I told him that,’_ Tony thought, embarrassed. _‘Why the hell did I do that?’_ Now James was looking at him, and his sad eyes were filled with concern, or, god forbid, was that sympathy? _‘No way, none of that.’_

“I don’t suppose you’re familiar with Dr. Who?” he asked before James could ask any embarrassing questions. 

“No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” James said. 

“Yeah, no, I didn’t think so. Ah, it’s a show. On TV? Anyway, you have no idea how much I wanted to make a Weeping Angel reference just now. You know, you’re an Angel, you were weeping, we are sort of time traveling. It was such a perfect line! But I knew you wouldn’t get it.” Tony shook his head in mock disappointment. 

“Sorry to ruin your reference,” James said sarcastically. 

_‘Much better,’_ Tony thought. “No problem. It happens. Most people ignore me anyway. At least you have your abysmal ignorance as an excuse,” Tony smirked. 

James barked out a short laugh. He stood up, and held his hand out to Tony. 

Tony took it and let James pull him to his feet. Now James was the one who looked embarrassed. 

“Sorry, about that, ah...” he started, waving his hand to where he’d been curled on the ground. 

Tony held up his hand to stop him. “Yeah, no, like I said, not a problem.” Tony paused. This emotion stuff was hard. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No!” James said quickly, slightly panicked. 

“Hey, it’s OK,” Tony said holding up his hands. “No one’s going to make you talk about it, if you don’t want.” 

James still didn’t look reassured. 

“Look, if you want to talk to me, about anything, I’d be glad to listen. Sometime it helps, talking to someone. But I’m not going to make you, it’s your business after all.” Then Tony grimaced. “Unlike my business, which I guess is somehow Angel business.” 

James frowned, making that grumpy face again. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’m just trying-” 

“To do my assignment. Yeah, I know,” Tony interrupted.

Now James looked like he wanted to cry again. Tony rubbed his hand over his face. This was so complicated. He had so many questions, but James was clearly in the wrong headspace to be answering them. Time for some TV therapy. 

“So do you want to go watch some television with me? Assuming the TV is working?” he asked James. 

“What? Why?” James said. He had that adorable look of confusion on his face. 

“Well, your ignorance isn’t going to correct itself,” Tony smiled. “I’ll make popcorn, again, assuming the microwave is working. Come on, it’ll be fun.” 

“I thought you had a lot of work to do?” James asked. 

“Ah, but we have all the time we want, don’t we?” Tony tried to look hopeful. 

James blew out a breath, then smiled. “Yeah, OK, sure,” James said. “Why not?” 

“Good! Great!” Tony said. He lead the way back inside. “So, have you watched any TV, movies, telenovelas, anything?” 

“Not that I can remember,” James said. 

_‘Remember,’_ Tony thought. _‘Interesting choice of words.’_

“So, Where should we start? There’s a lot to catch up on,” Tony smiled, picking up the remote. 

“Well, like you said, we do have all the time we want.” James gave a wicked grin. “Let’s watch it all.” 

  



	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I would like to thank my beta cyanide-to-the masses (http://cyanide-to-the-masses.tumblr.com/) This story wouldn't be the same with out their help!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has kudo'd - I appreciate every one!

  


It seemed like the TV and microwave were working. Strangely, so was Netflix. 

Tony set them up on the couch in the lab with Cokes, popcorn, and peanut M&Ms and had Jarvis start with some Christmas movies. James loved the snacks and liked eating the candy and popcorn at the same time, the weirdo. 

Half way through the third movie, James fell asleep. Tony covered him with a blanket and sighed. He studied James’s face. James looked pale, and there were circles under his eyes. Tony had no idea what Angels were, but he didn’t think they were supposed to look like that. 

He went over to his workspace. 

“Jarvis,” he said softly, “let me know if he starts to wake up. And let’s open a file, Project Alice in Wonderland. Save it on the private server.” 

“I am afraid the private server is the only one currently available. It appears that I am unable to access new systems. I still have access to any information that I was connect to when the time dilation went into effect. It also seems that while I can pull data from these outside sources, I cannot send any of my own.” 

“Good thing, otherwise I wouldn’t have Netflix. That would be a disaster,” Tony said. 

“Of biblical proportions,” Jarvis said sarcastically. Tony snorted. Biblical, ha! 

“And what are the current borders of Tony Time Land?” 

“Will that be its official name?” Jarvis asked. “Tony Time Land? How original.” 

Tony smiled. “Well, I guess this time everything really is about me. So why not?” 

“Everything within this floor and the one above is experiencing ‘Tony Time.’ The effect is contained within the walls of building and does not extend to any of the balconies,” Jarvis said. 

“If I may offer an observation, time is still passing in the ‘outside’ world,” he continued. He brought up several displays. “Based on my calculations, for every day of ‘Tony Time’ that passes, 0.02 seconds will pass outside.” 

“And the electronics?” 

“All electronic devices in Tony Time are performing within normal ranges. Electrical power is available, despite the fact we are not actually drawing power either from the arc reactor in the basement or from the city power grid.” 

“That’s impossible! Power just doesn’t come from nowhere. It has to come from somewhere to run the toaster or the microwave.” 

“As you say, Sir. However, I am still unable to scan beyond these two floors to find an alternative power source. The same holds true of the water and gas for the lab. Water and gas are flowing in the pipes despite the time dilation effect.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, and when that didn’t feel like enough, banged his head softly on the worktop a few times. 

The fact that they still had power, water, and gas when it should have been impossible was going to drive him crazy. If he didn’t hate to say the word, Tony would say it was Magic. He hated the idea of magic. 

Of course, there was the possibility that he was already crazy, and this was all an elaborate hallucination. If so, he’d certainly come up with a doozy. 

Could a hallucination have such physicality, though? Could he really be imagining James? But James felt solid, real. 

And speaking of angels... 

“OK, let’s focus on Angel Eyes, for a moment,” Tony said. “What have we go so far? We know he likes sweet things, especially chocolate, and he likes his coffee with a shit ton of sugar.” 

“Yes, I’m sure those are very important observations,” Jarvis deadpanned. “It also appears that although I can observe and record James with my cameras, I cannot detect him with any of the currently available sensors.” 

“So, he doesn’t show up on _anything_? Not thermal, infrared, x-ray, gamma...” Tony started, shocked. 

“No, Sir, nothing. Although he can be seen, heard, and, from what I have observed, felt, it is if he does not otherwise exist.” 

Tony banged his head on the desk again. It was like he was trapped in a bad movie. 

And speaking of movies, although James had enjoyed ‘A Christmas Carol’, he had flinched at the explosions in ‘Die Hard.’ His questions during the movies didn’t make a lot of sense either. James had recognized some things, but not others. How could he be familiar with automatic weapons, but baffled by computers? Then there was the crying on the balcony and possible memory loss. 

“Do you think Angels can have PTSD?” Tony asked. 

“I do not have enough information on Angels to make that determination.” 

Yeah, Tony might not know anything about Angels, but he knew trauma when he saw it. 

As if on cue, over on the couch James made a sharp noise. Glancing over, Tony could see he was still asleep, but he was thrashing under the blanket. The noise came again, a muffled whine this time. Tony knew that sound well, he’d woken himself up with it often enough. James was screaming in his sleep. 

“James,” Tony called loudly and firmly, walking toward him. He knew better than to try and touch him. “James!” 

James sat up abruptly, eyes wide, darting around. They were glowing again, but a chilling, icy white this time. He looked terrified, and Tony knew that feeling too. At least he knew what to do. How many times has Jarvis done this for him? 

“James, listen, you are in Stark Tower. It’s Christmas Eve, you’re working as a Christmas Ghost. You were having a nightmare, but you are awake now. Whatever you were seeing, it’s not-” Tony was going to say real, but who knew what nightmares angels had? “It’s not happening now. You’re safe here,” Tony said. 

James shook his head. He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face, then back through his hair, messing it up even more. When he opened his eyes, they were back to their normal blue-grey color. 

“Angels...” James started, his voice rough. He cleared his throat. “Angels can’t have nightmares.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, you were doing a good impression of it.” 

James grimaced, rubbing his left shoulder. He leaned back into the couch, blanket tangled in his lap. “Fuck,” he groaned. 

Tony sat down on the couch. He wasn’t sure what to say. This is what he had Jarvis for. _‘Well, all those hours of therapy Pepper had made him go to had to be good for something, right?’_ he thought. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. 

James looked conflicted. He rolled his head on the back of the couch cushions and looked at Tony. His hand was still gripping his shoulder. 

“There was...” he started, then huffed a short, bitter laugh. “I was going to say incident, but that doesn’t _begin_ to cover it. I actually can’t remember a lot of what happened, but I was told that I was captured. And I know I was tortured. For a long time. I lost my arm and my...” This pause was longer, but Tony didn’t interrupt. 

“I thought I was over it. Well, as over it as I could be. It’s been a hundred years, right? I should be better by now,” he continued. 

Tony could hear the pleading in his voice and felt his chest twinge in sympathy. He started to rub his chest, feeling the scars under the layers of his shirt. 

_‘Wow, did that sound familiar,’_ Tony thought. He leaned toward James. “I can tell you from experience that sometimes things happen, things that change you, and you have to live with the consequences.” As soon as he said it, Tony knew it was a mistake. It was the wrong thing to say, and although he had tried for sympathetic, his tone had been off. 

“So that’s it, that’s your advice? Learn to live with it?” James asked angrily. “You don’t know what I went through. You don’t know what happened to me. You have no _idea_ what it’s been like for me!” 

Tony flinched. He had said almost the exact same thing to Pepper just over a year ago. Hell, he’d said the same thing to James yesterday. Now he knew what it felt like from the other side. He really owed Pepper more than he could repay. 

James must have seen the flinch. He visibly deflated. “Sorry... I’ve just never really told anyone about this. The other Angels, just _knew_ , so... can we just talk about something else, anything else?” he pleaded. 

And that was familiar too. Well, they did have all the time they wanted. And James still looked exhausted. 

“We could do that, I do love to talk, but how ‘bout you get some more sleep instead? I can show you where the guest room is,” Tony offered. 

James was frowning his grumpy face again. Tony could tell he didn’t like the idea. 

“Look, far be it from me to tell someone they need to sleep. I am the poster child for avoiding sleep, sleep is the enemy, blah, blah,” Tony said waving his hand over his head. “But seriously, you might feel better if you tried.” 

James snorted. “Yeah, OK. Maybe you’re right. Can’t hurt, right?” 

Tony smiled. “Absolutely, always listen to me! I always know what I’m talking about, and I’m never wrong.” 

James rolled his eyes so hard it must have hurt. “Yeah, sure, now why don’t I believe that?” 

Tony grinned. “Cause you may be an Angel, but you’re not an idiot?” 

“Damn right.” 

  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to wish a happy holiday today to everyone who is celebrating!
> 
> In honor of Christmas I will be posting two chapters today.

Chapter 10

TT 1:06:44 Days 

_‘It was right there, something important, something vital, just out of reach. The light was so bright, though, blinding. And the pain, oh god, so much pain, but he had to get to it, he had to! But his Grace was failing – no tearing, he was tearing apart at the seams. Someone was screaming his name...’_

James came awake with a start, sitting up, breathing hard. 

A voice was speaking in a calm, soothing voice. “... in New York City, in a guest room at Stark Tower, you have been asleep for 16 hours. We are currently experiencing a time dilation effect. It has been 1 day, 6 hours, 46 minutes since the start of what Mr. Stark has designated ‘Tony Time.’” 

Stark, New York, Jarvis. He was still here. It had felt so real. 

He blinked hard, and ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks, Jarvis, I appreciate the, ah, rundown.” 

“Of course, sir, it is my pleasure.” 

James flopped down on the bed. _‘I guess Angels_ can _have nightmares,’_ he thought. 

Just one more thing that the others had kept him from experiencing. They’d wrapped him up like some fragile ornament. A broken heirloom too delicate to use, but one that sentiment kept you from throwing away. 

James tried to remember his dream. It had felt important, something out of reach? 

But it was gone. 

He gave up trying to remember his dream, and searched his mind. Maybe the dream had knocked loose some memories? Maybe the dream was a memory? 

All he could find was a feeling of loss. Something important was missing. 

‘ _No shit, like I didn’t know that before,’_ he thought _._ He huffed a laugh. At this point he felt like he had more things missing than he had accounted for. 

But the dream had to be an improvement, right? There had to be a reason the angels kept him from dreaming. James grabbed the sheets and twisted them in his fist, anger washing through him. He was so sick of everyone making decisions for him, for his own good. 

He felt his shoulder throb, and reached over to rub it until the pain subsided, his anger going with it. 

This was certainly something he hadn’t missed. The others may have blocked his bad memories and dreams, but they’d also kept the pain away. And James remembered that, the pain in the beginning, just after his rescue. This was nothing compared to that. 

He could put up with a little pain if it meant finally remembering what had happened. 

He just needed time, and now thanks to Nick he’d found it. He just had to keep it going as long as possible. He needed to stop these flares of anger, and stay on Stark’s good side. He need Stark to keep thinking that avoiding the Visitations was his own idea. 

James had heard Clint complain often enough about how everybody tried to avoid their Visitations. Stark had jumped past denial pretty quick, skimmed over anger and gotten right to bargaining. Pretty impressive, actually. 

James smiled thinking about Tony. He wasn’t at all what he’d expected. He was handsome sure, but he was funny, smart and a smart-ass. And strangely nice. 

James frowned. Something wasn’t adding up. Stark had been _really_ nice, given all the shit James had dumped on him. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who needed to be Redeemed. He’d asked if James if wanted to talk, _and_ had taken ‘no’ for an answer. 

When was the last time someone had actually asked him what _he_ wanted? All the Angels were doing what they thought was best, but had they ever stopped to _ask_? Did they ever? His memory of the last 100 years was foggy at best, but he was sure the only one who actually asked him his opinion _and_ listened was Natalia. And even she refused to tell him things he couldn’t remember on his own. 

And just like that, a stray thought. _‘Nat listens because she knows. She knows what it’s like to be changed into something you’re not supposed to be.’_ As soon as he thought it he knew it was true. 

James held his breath, hoping, but nothing else surfaced. He didn’t know what that meant, that Nat had been changed. But it was a start. 

He pumped his fist in the air and grinned. _‘Maybe this was going to work after all.’_


	11. Chapter 11

  


TT 2: 07: 52 Days 

  


James looked out onto the patio. _‘Now there’s something you don’t see every day,’_ he mused. 

Outside, Tony was dodging and weaving around a bunch of household objects that were suspended in mid-air. He was studying them and glaring as if they had all offended him. 

Tony caught sight of him watching and motioned him to come out. James opened the door cautiously. 

“James!” Tony said brightly. “Just the Angel I wanted to see.” 

“Why?” James asked suspiciously. 

“‘Why’? How can you say that? Look!” Tony pulled a salt shaker out of his pocket and held it out in front of him. He snatched his hand back, and the shaker stilled, suspended in the air. 

“Yeah, so?” James asked flatly, trying his best to hide his amusement. _‘This is going to be so good,’_ he thought. 

“SO?” Tony growled. “This just doesn’t make any sense. None of this should be happening. It violates every known law of physics. And it’s inconsistent! Why do things behave differently inside than out here? Why can I affect individual items, when this whole area should be time-stopped?” 

Tony waved to encompass all the items hanging in the air. He’d obviously just grabbed a selection of random objects from the living room and kitchen. There were a couple of throw pillows, a table lamp, a ladle, and a blanket, frozen mid-snap. 

“Look- look what happens when I do this.” Tony grabbed the blanket and it instantly unfroze, falling down to pool at his feet. He snapped it in the air, and as soon as he took his hand off it, it froze in the air. 

“This just should not be happening. This violates every known law of physics,” he repeated. 

James smiled, and tried not to laugh. Tony was so cute when he was outraged, especially with the snow dusting his hair. He looked like a frustrated kitten. 

Tony stalked over and glared at him. “Don’t you laugh at me. I see you, Mr. Angel Face. This isn’t funny. Even if I was hallucinating, I know enough physics to come up with something better.” 

“I told you: you’re not hallucinating and not dreaming. Besides, is this something you would hallucinate?” James walked over to the table lamp, which was suspended on its side about 5 feet off the ground, cord trailing upward. 

He flicked the switch, and the lamp turned on. 

Tony’s reaction was pure gold. He opened and closed his mouth twice before speaking. 

“No, no, no, and no,” he whined. “That’s just...” he waved his hand to indicate the lamp, than rubbed his hands over his face. 

James couldn’t help it. He started laughing, and Tony looked over, glaring. If looks could kill, he’d be a pile of ash. Which only made him laugh harder. 

“Oh, laugh it up, ha, ha. Jokes on me, I guess, for trying to make sense of your illogical Angel Magic.” 

James’s laughter eventually trailed off. He wiped his eyes. _‘Wow, that had felt good.’_ He couldn’t remember when he’d last laughed so hard. _‘Of course, you can’t remember last week, either,’_ he thought wryly. It didn’t make Tony’s outrage any less amusing. 

“Tony, it’s not magic, its intent,” he said. 

Tony did not look mollified. In fact, he looked even more irritated. 

“Intent? I can move things out here because I ‘intend’ to move them? So, what - if I intend to fly, I can? Second star to the right and straight on ʼtil morning?” Tony scoffed. 

“Yes, but ‘The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.’” James answered with surprise. _‘Where had that quote come from? That was Peter and Wendy. He_ knew _that. How did he know that?’_ And the answer was right there. He’d read it after it first came out as a novel, in 1911. He barked a laugh at the memory, at the idea he’d _had_ a memory. 

Tony must have thought he was being laughed at again. 

“Oh right, this must be so amusing for you: the poor ignorant mortal.” Tony said it sarcastically, but James could feel the hurt underneath. His elation at the new memory vanished in the face of it. He didn’t want to hurt Tony. _‘None of this was his fault. He shouldn’t have to deal with my issues. He doesn’t deserve that,’_ he thought. 

“Tony, no, I wasn’t laughing at you,” he said. “Really, I wasn’t. I was thinking about something else. Honest, pal,” he added when Tony looked doubtful. 

Tony visibly deflated and sighed. “Yeah, OK. I can see where it’s funny if you’re used to it.” 

James echoed his sigh. _‘Communication is so hard outside the Chorus,’_ he thought. He might hate the idea of everyone in his head all the time, but sometimes telepathy could really come in handy. 

It suddenly felt very important to reassure Tony, to make sure his feelings weren’t hurt. James reached out and laid his hand on Tony’s arm. 

And all the suspended objects, including the remaining snowflakes, crashed onto the patio. 

They both jumped, startled. Tony turned to James with wide eyes. 

“Now _that_ , I wasn’t expecting,” James said, flinching. 

“What the hell?” Tony asked. “No, really, what the hell?” 

“Sorry, I think that was me. My fault,” James said. 

Tony looked at him skeptically. 

James realized he was still holding Tony’s arm and quickly dropped it. “I wanted to make you feel better, make sure you knew I wasn’t laughing at you. But I still don’t have a lot of control yet, so instead I guess I...” he trailed off sheepishly. 

“Got rid of the problem?” Tony asked. He was studying the fallen objects as hard as he had when they were suspended. 

“Yeah, something like that,” James answered. 

Tony picked up the lamp which was still lit, and held it at waist height. He frowned at it, then let it go. It remained in the air. 

“Huh,” he said faintly. He turned to James and smiled. And oh, that was a wicked smile if James had ever seen one. _‘That is a_ _really_ _good look,”_ James thought _. ‘I am in so much trouble.’_

“So intent, huh? Why don’t we go inside, and you can tell me all about it,” Tony said sweetly, blinking up through his lashes, like a little puppy. 

James hesitated. He’d already said more than he should and broken so many rules. He sighed. _‘What the hell, this whole thing was probably going to end in disaster. What was one more broken rule? What harm could it do? It’s not like he can do anything dangerous with the information.’_

“OK, sure, why not?” James said, watching Tony’s face light up, his body practically wiggling with excitement. 

James walked back into the living room, Tony right behind him. Tony turned to close the door, and James heard him give a muffled shout. 

James spun around. Tony was staring out the door where they’d just been. “What? What happened?” he asked. 

Tony shook his head. He finished sliding the door closed. “For a second I thought I saw a small mutant reindeer on the patio. Weird, right?” he said. He sounded doubtful, as if he were just waiting for James to say ‘No, of course there are mutant reindeer, idiot.’ 

James stepped back to the door. They both peered out into the weak winter afternoon light, but there was nothing there except the mess they’d made. 

“I don’t see anything. Are you sure? What did it look like?” he asked. 

Tony sighed. “I only saw it for a second. It was brown and it had a weird antler, but it was, you know, small. Half a meter or so tall? And a tail like a golden retriever. Jarvis, did you get anything?” 

“No, Sir, I did not observe anything matching that description. The only ones on the balcony in the last half hour of ‘Tony Time’ were yourself and James,” Jarvis replied. 

James slid the door open. _‘It’s probably nothing, keep calm,’_ he thought. 

“Right, OK. Probably stress, right?” Tony said hopefully. “It must have just been a weird shadow from the lamp or something,” he said. He turned and headed toward the kitchen. “Nothing some coffee won’t fix,” he called over his shoulder. “You coming?” 

“Yeah,” James said, distracted. He walked around, studying the ground. He stopped near the pile of new fallen snow near the railing. Was that a paw print? He closed his eyes, and breathed out slowly. If it was, what did it mean? He turned and headed into the brightly lit kitchen. 

_‘Only time would tell,’_ he thought. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My quest to reference every movie I can think of continues...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I'd like to thank [cyanide-to-the-masses](http://cyanide-to-the-masses.tumblr.com) for beta’ing!

  


As he walked into the kitchen, Tony thought about this new information. If ‘intent’ was what was driving this whole experience, then there had to be a way to harness that for himself. He looked over for James, but he was still wandering around the patio, studying the ground. 

_‘There couldn’t really have been a miniature mutant reindeer out there, could there? There was obviously a lot James wasn’t telling him yet, but why would James lie about that?’_

Tony desperately needed more information from James. And from what little he’d observed, the best way to get him to open up was to distract him while asking the important questions. Time to break out the hot chocolate. 

He set coffee going for himself, and got out Pepper’s special hot chocolate mix. If it worked to distract her when Tony was being difficult, it should work on James. 

“Everything OK?” he asked as James walked into the kitchen area. 

James gave a short nod. “Yeah, sure. Just thinking.” 

Tony handed James his chocolate and lead the way to the couch. He wanted to be able to see the patio, just in case the reindeer came back. 

“So, intent?” he said once they were settled. “How can ‘intent’ power a lamp, or well, any of this. There has to be more to it than that, otherwise people could just wish for whatever they wanted, and ‘poof.’” 

James sipped his chocolate and made a little happy noise. _‘Hot Chocolate Success.’_ Tony thought. 

James kept drinking, looking lost in thought. While he waited, Tony tried willing the lamp outside to turn off, but nothing happened. 

“I’m probably not the best Angel for this. I don’t think I can _explain_ it. I just _know_ that’s what’s happening here. The Book is translating our beliefs and intentions into reality within the time sink,” James finally said. 

Tony wanted to groan in frustration. That wasn’t helpful at all. “OK, well, maybe start at the beginning. Walk me through it step by step,” he said. 

James gave Tony one of his sad grumpy cat faces. “That’s just it. I can’t. I don’t remember the answers.” he snapped. “I told you there was the whole...” he waved his mug toward his left shoulder, “incident. Well, I lost more than just my arm. I lost most of my Grace, my energy. And I lost a lot of my memories. Some things I know, some I don’t. I can’t explain it if I don’t know the answers.” 

‘ _Wow. OK, memory loss after torture. Great.’_ Tony thought. If anyone could sympathize with the after effects of torture, he could. He certainly didn’t want to push James, but he _needed_ to know more about how this worked. It could be the key to everything. 

Tony tried not to let his disappointment show. “It’s OK, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said, sighing. 

James set his empty mug firmly down on the table. He leaned toward Tony a look of determination on his face. “No, no. I want to do this. If I can’t explain it, maybe I can show you instead.” 

“Show me? How?” Tony asked suspiciously. 

“Let me see your arm, the one you cut.” 

“My arm?” Tony set down his mug. He pushed up his shirt sleeve, and unwound the gauze he’d wrapped around his arm. There was still no blood on the bandage, but the open cut was still there. 

James winced when he saw it. “Wow, that’s deeper than I thought. But it doesn’t hurt, and it’s not bleeding, right?” 

“Does that means something?” 

“Yeah, course it does. You remember when I tried to fix it earlier?” 

Tony nodded. “You touched it and did this whole,” he waved his fingers, “woo-woo light thing.” 

“Yeah, it’s been a long time since I tried to do anything like that, so I didn’t do it the right way. I meant to heal it, but all I could think was ‘oh, no, it’s bleeding, that looks like it hurts, I need to make it stop.’ When I should have been thinking ‘Oh, that needs to be healed, or that needs to be fixed.’” 

“So you need to be specific in what you’re trying to do?” 

“Right, very specific. Since I don’t have a lot of power of my own any more, I was trying to use the power inherent in your Book. And I forgot that you need to be very careful what you ask objects of power. It can be dangerous to give even minor ones like your book too much leeway. You might not get what you intended.” 

“Yeah, I think I saw an episode of the X-files like that one. Something about being careful what genie wishes you ask for.” 

James frowned. “Is everything a movie reference to you?” 

“Most things, yeah,” Tony said, grinning wide. “I had a lot of free time as a kid. I watched a lot of TV.” 

James rolled his eyes. “Just give me your arm.” 

Tony held out his arm, the cut facing up. James gripped it firmly, his hand supporting it from the bottom. His hand felt cold and Tony felt a chill race up his arm and down his spine. 

“OK,” James said. “If I’m remembering this right, we’re both caught in between the pages of the book of your life. So we should _both_ be able to access some of its power. Not a lot, but it might be enough to do a few simple things. I can use it because I’m an Angel, but you should be able to as well, because it’s _your_ Book. The Book of your Life. Does that make sense?” 

“Not in the slightest.” Tony replied. “Why is it _my_ book? What’s in the book? What do you mean by caught between pages? And where is this power, this energy, coming from anyway? And why...” 

James cut him off with a frustrated grunt. “Can you just shut it for a minute? Geez.” 

Tony snapped his mouth shut, and made a zipper closing motion with his free hand, and tried to look contrite. 

“Look, let’s just do this, OK?” James said, rolling his eyes. 

Tony gave an exaggerated nod, careful to keep his mouth closed tight. 

James smiled and leaned closer. “It might be easier if you close your eyes.” Tony looked at him skeptically. James stared back until Tony sighed and closed his eyes. 

“Good. Now I want you to think to yourself ‘my arm is healed, the cut is gone.’ Think it as if it’s already true. Picture your arm without the cut, the way it normally looks. Think it until you _know_ it’s true.” 

Tony cracked an eye open. Because that sounded ridiculous. ‘“ _Don’t dream it, just be it?” Really?’_ he thought. Tony sighed. 

“You’re not concentrating,” James said, startling him. James had his own eyes closed, his face calm. 

Tony closed his eye and tried again. He could do this. If all it took was thought, he should have no problem. He was a genius after all. Tony was going to think the hell out of this. 

“Not concentrating,” James said. 

“Not helping,” Tony sing-songed. 

‘ _Try again, Tony. Concentrate,’_ he thought to himself. _‘No wait. He said I have to_ believe _it. “Try Not._ Do _or do not. There is no try.” “Use the Force.” Oh, my god, everything I think_ is _a movie reference.’_ Oh, who was he kidding? There was a reason he’d failed all those meditation classes his therapist had signed him up for. He had severe monkey brain syndrome. 

“OK, let’s try something else,” James said. “Keep your eyes closed and listen to my voice, alright? Just concentrate on my voice.” 

Tony nodded, even though he knew James couldn’t see it. He could do that. It was a very nice voice. 

“Picture your arm. It’s whole, it’s unharmed. The skin is smooth. There was a cut, but it’s all healed now, not even a mark left. Are you picturing it?” 

Tony could almost see it. He tried to imagine how his arm would look in the future. 

“Keep it clear in your mind. Think how much you want it. Picture it as if it’s real. Feel it as if it’s real.” 

James voice was closer now. It was low, almost a growl. A shiver went up Tony’s spine, and he was sure this one had nothing to do with how cold James’ hand felt on his arm. 

“It’s real. Your arm is whole, the skin unbroken. It’s perfectly fine.” 

Tony could picture it, just for a moment. He felt this connection, almost like a spark in his mind. Like the solution to an equation slotting into place, perfect in its symmetry. 

Tony’s eyes flashed open, and it was true. His arm was fixed. There was no cut. _‘But that’s impossible,”_ was his next thought. 

And just like that, between one blink and the next, the cut was back. 

“Oh, you almost had it,” James said, and Tony could hear the smile in his voice. 

Tony lifted his eyes from his arm. James had moved so much closer. His face tipped down over Tony’s arm, his hair was hanging down around his face. James looked up through his lashes, and his eyes met Tony’s. 

Without thinking, Tony’s free hand came up and tucked the hair back behind James’ ear, fingers brushing the top of it. 

James sat back, looking a little startled, a faint blush on those glorious cheekbones. 

He smiled, and let go of Tony’s arm, scooting back to the middle of the couch. 

“Sorry that didn’t work,” James said. “You almost had it. I think you just need to practice.” 

“Yeah, I’ll do that,” Tony said absently. Because Tony might not know _intent_ or how to harness it. But he knew interest. And the look James had given him? Yeah, _that_ was interest. _‘And that was, well, interesting, wasn’t it,’_ he thought. _‘_ Very _interesting_.’ 

  



	13. Chapter 13

  


Clint stretched from where he was sitting on Nat’s other side and reached for his stack of DVD’s. “Well, that was a sad one. How bout a funny one next? What do you guy’s think?” he asked. _“Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny_ or _Scrooged_?” 

Steve didn’t know how long they’d been here, relatively speaking, but he was getting tired of watching Clint’s collection of Christmas movies. It seemed like Clint had every Christmas-themed movie ever made. Steve had really liked the one with Ralphie and his BB gun, but could _Die Hard_ really be considered a Christmas movie? 

What he needed was some more information about their plan. 

He held up a hand to stop Clint. “Look, guys, can we talk?” 

Natasha sat up and curled her feet under her. Sometime around the fifth movie she and Clint had changed outfits. They now wore matching green and red footy pajamas, the tops of which read “I’m nice. He/She’s the naughty one” with an arrow underneath. No matter where they moved in relation to each other the arrows always pointed in the right direction. 

“You can always talk to us about anything, you know that Steve,” Nat said. 

Clint nodded. “Yep. Well, except the stuff we’re not allowed to tell you.” 

Nat turned her head to frown at Clint. When she turned back, she put her hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“What did you want to talk about?” 

Steve sighed. “I know you guys have Bucky’s best interest at heart, I do. But don’t you think you should let me in on the plan? I know I could help.” He gave them his best earnest face. He knew it wasn’t as good as his ‘I’m disappointed in you face’, but he was saving that in case things got rough. 

Clint was shaking his head. “Ah, man, you know we’re not supposed to tell you that. Fury would kill us. Well, he’d kill me, and I hate regenerating. Nat here is un-killable. He’d probably just give her the job of planning the office Holiday Party.” 

Nat was rubbing his shoulder soothingly. Sometime Steve forgot she wasn’t really an Angel. She was just so good at pretending to be one. He wondered if sometimes she forgot as well. 

“All right, so you can’t tell me. Let me tell you what I think, and you can tell me if I get it right,” Steve said. He quickly continued before they could disagree with that. “Nick asked Bucky to do a Christmas Intervention for Tony Stark. But it’s not really about Stark at all. This was just to get Bucky away from me, away from the Chorus for a short time. You think he needs some time on his own, that some space might help him.” 

Natasha and Clint’s faces were carefully blank, but he could see Lucky and his tail was wagging. Clint had once told him Lucky could never keep a secret. 

“I know you think he’s ready, that he’s as healed as much we can hope for. And I agree, Bucky is so much better.” He paused for a moment. It hurt just thinking about what Bucky had been like in those early days, how close he’d been to Falling forever. 

“But what if he starts remembering?” Steve continued. “You know what could happen if he remembers the wrong thing. You know how dangerous that could be.” Steve blew out a breath. “If we can’t be there to help him, how will he know if it’s too much? You know he’s not very good at recognizing his own feelings yet. What if he gets overwhelmed before he can end the time stop?” 

Steve trailed off, because Lucky’s tail had stopped wagging. He was staring at Steve with what could only be sympathy in his big, brown eye. 

Steve turned his full attention to Clint and Natasha. He had a bad feeling about this. 

“What’s going on? He can end the time stop, right? Tony’s Book is keyed to him, right?” he asked. 

Clint rubbed his hand over his head. “Steve, man, you got to understand, we’re not supposed to-” he started. 

“Bucky has the Book of Life,” Natasha interrupted him. 

Steve was confused. “Yes, right he’s got the Book of Stark’s Life. He can travel anywhere within Stark’s lifetime in order to find his turning points. Bucky can end it at any time to call for another Ghost, or when Stark either has his epiphany or gives up entirely.” 

Both Nat and Clint were looking at him earnestly. The hand Nat had been rubbing his shoulder with was now gripping it firmly. 

“No, Steve, Fury gave Bucky THEBook of Life,” Natasha clarified. 

Steve felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. No, no, no... this was _so much worse_ than he had been imagining. 

“You gave Bucky The Book of LIFE!?” he shouted. He would have jumped up, but Natasha’s hand kept him still. Her grip on his shoulder felt like solid stone, a mountain of ice pinning him in place. 

“Why, why would you do that?” he whispered. “Nat, it’s... no Angel should ever hold The Book of Life. You of all people should know what could happen...” Steve winced. It probably wasn’t a good idea to remind her of her own issues with The Book. 

“I do know Steve. Better than anyone. You should know that Coulson talked it over with me, before he ever went to Fury with this plan. And I agreed. I think that The Book is the only thing that can save Bucky. Save all of us, really.” 

Steve’s mind raced. He knew what The Book could do. The ramifications if it was used right were staggering. In the _wrong_ hands… 

Steve couldn’t imagine what Fury had said to Bucky to get him to agree to this. He knew Bucky was terrified of The Book. 

Steve closed his eyes for a moment. A terrible thought occurred to him. 

“Nat,” he said. He made sure to say it as calmly as he possibly could. “Does Bucky _know_ he has The Book of Life? Is he _aware_ he’s got our most powerful artifact? The same one that was used to keep him alive against his will while they torture him for centuries?” 

“No, he doesn’t.” The answer was short, but no less horrifying. 

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “At least tell me The Book is coded to Bucky. Tell me he can still end this when he needs to.” 

Lucky lay down and threw a paw over his left eye. Steve could hear him whimpering. 

“It’s not keyed to Bucky. Fury anchored The Book to Stark,” Natasha said quietly. 

And just like that, Steve could see their whole plan. He knew why they hadn’t included him. He could _never_ have gone along with this. This was so much bigger than just helping Bucky. They’d just entrusted the fate of the entire human race on the premise that Tony Stark, of all people, had a heart. 

Steve could feel the tears gather in his eyes. 

Clint face was twisted in a grimace. “Steve, don’t cry, don’t.” 

Steve could feel Clint trying reach him, to love and reassure him. He didn’t want that right now. How could they do this? He blocked Clint’s thoughts and saw him wince. 

“You know you just did what Hydra and the Council wanted to do,” he glared at them. “You’ve given Bucky and Stark the power to destroy us all.” 

He stared at Nat until she removed her hand from his shoulder. He flopped back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He rubbed his eyes. “Fuck,” he said. 

“Yeah, that about sums it up,” Clint said. He leaned back and joined Steve in staring at the ceiling. 

No one said anything for a long time, not even the dog. 

  



	14. Chapter 14

  


Book II – The Present

“There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.” -Oogway, Kung Fu Panda 

  


Chapter 14

TT 5: 04: 33 Days 

“Look out, look out! Incoming!” Tony shouted, leaning left into James. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” James muttered, jabbing at the controls frantically. But it was too late. His avatar blew up in a spectacular fireball. 

Tony hit pause on the game. “Oh, man. That was my bad, sorry,” he said. 

James turned to him and scowled. “You blew me up with an RPG,” he stated flatly. 

Tony smiled and waved his controller. “Totally an accident! I was aiming for the zombie horde!” he said defensively. 

James widened his eyes and gave Tony that fierce stare of his. “An accident? I’m playing with one hand and I have better control than that.” 

“Ooh, speaking of which- how is the controller I modified for you? Still working all right?” Tony said, trying to change the subject. 

James gave him one more glare, then relented. “Yeah, works great. Thanks. Ready?” he said, turning back to the game. 

After the horde was dealt with, Tony cleared his throat. “So, you keep mentioning this other Angel, Steve, a lot? Is he like your- ah, boyfriend, or something?” _‘Oh, smooth Tony, way to be subtle,’_ he thought. 

James leaned into Tony, firing at a zombie straggler. “Stevie? Nah, he’s like my brother. We grew up together. Besides, he’s with Peggy. No- he was with Peggy? There’s something about...” he trailed off, eyes unfocusing. 

Tony hit pause on the game and waited. He’d seen this twice now, as James recovered a memory. Other than confirming he had memory loss, James hadn’t tried to discuss it. And Tony hadn’t wanted to push James into talking about it. He figured James would get around to it eventually. It didn’t seem like he’d had a lot of practice opening up to people. 

James came back to himself with a start. He looked over at Tony, his eyes wide. 

“I remembered. Steve and I, we grew up together as kids. We died together, and we were Chosen to be Angels together,” James said, excited. 

“So you weren’t born an Angel? And here I was, picturing you as a little baby Cherub, all cute and chubby like in the paintings,” Tony said smirking. He set aside the whole idea of Angels being Chosen. That seemed like a conversation that was going to require a lot of chocolate. 

James shoved him with his shoulder, snorting. “Yeah, no. We’re not born like that. But now I’m picturing Fury as a Cherub, so thanks for that,” he said shuddering. 

“Your boss?” Tony asked. “You’ve mentioned him before.” 

“Yeah, tall black man, one eye, likes to wear long leather coats. Likes to be all dramatic and shit,” James said distracted. He was frowning again. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Tony asked. 

“For some reason when I think of Fury, I’m also getting this image of a shorter, stocky white guy with one eye? I don’t know why. Weird, right?” James said distracted. 

“Well, I’m sure if it’s important, it will come to you,” Tony said trying to be reassuring. He’d done some research on memory loss, and it seemed the best thing was to let the person remember on their own. To not push too much. 

“Yeah, I guess,” James said, picking up his controller. “Shall we?” he asked, motioning to the game. 

“Sure,” Tony said. He started the game back up, and moved a little closer to James, so their legs were touching. James glanced at him and smiled, and wow, was that sexy. Tony felt his insides zing. Were all the Angels so sexy and attractive? Which sort of brought him back to this original question. 

“So, what about you, a boyfriend? Or girlfriend?” he winced. _“Still smooth as silk there, Stark,’_ he thought. He remembered when this had been easy, back when all he’d wanted were one night stands. Trying to connect with someone you actually liked? So much harder. 

James snorted. “Yeah, nothing like that. The way I am now?” he made a derisive snort as he shot a zombie. “Hey, look out. You’ve got incoming,” he said nudging Tony again with his shoulder. 

“I like the way you are,” Tony muttered under his breath. He nudged James with his arm, and got back to shooting zombies. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

TT 8: 12: 31 Days

James came awake all at once, scream trapped behind his teeth. Another nightmare, still reaching for something just out of reach. And something about Thor? Thor’s arrival had started something maybe? The details were vague, but the feeling was intense. 

At least his memories were starting to come back. Nothing from during his capture, but a lot of other ones, both before and after. 

A chill went through him, and he absently rubbed his shoulder. He had known the other Angels were blocking his traumatic memories. And that had been bad enough. 

But now he thought it might be so much worse than that. He was almost sure that someone hadn’t just been blocking this bad memories. They’d also been systematically erasing his _new_ ones. He and Steve had assumed it was just a side effect of the trauma he’d experienced. 

But why would someone want to erase every new memory? It couldn’t just be to keep him safe from the knowledge of what had happened during his capture. The torture, the loss of his Grace. What possible reason could there be to erase the time six months ago when Kate brought him that fancy coffee? Or the time a year ago when Carol had taken him flying, just so he could remember what it had felt like? 

But if he was right, he wasn’t just trying to find his lost memories and Grace. Now he was faced with the possibility that at least one of the remaining Angels was a traitor, still loyal to the Council and Hydra. 

‘ _Shit, shit, fuck, shit. Why do things just keep getting worse? Maybe I am cursed,’_ he thought. _‘Was that why Steve was being so overprotective? What if Steve knew that there was still someone dangerous out there, waiting to kill me? Or worse, recapture me? Would he tell me?’_

But Steve was a terrible liar. No way he could have hidden that. James clenched his fist in frustration, and groaned out loud. This was so confusing. 

“Excuse me, sir, do you require assistance?” Jarvis asked. 

“No, thanks Jarvis, just thinking,” he sighed. 

“Of course, sir, I’m sorry if I disturbed you.” 

“Not a problem,” James waved the thought away. He rubbed his hand through his hair. 

Now his plan had just become even more important. He needed to stay until he remembered who the traitor was. Which meant he had to keep Tony here for as long as possible. James’s heart twisted at that thought. He hated the idea of using Tony that way. 

They’d spent hours watching TV, playing games, talking. It hadn’t been part of his plan, but he really liked Tony, liked spending time with him. He realized that Tony made him happy. Tony made him feel warm inside when, for the longest time, all he could feel was cold. 

‘ _Maybe I should just tell him what was going on? He’d understand, right?’_ James thought. _‘What if he doesn’t though? This isn’t just about me anymore. This was something that affected all the Angels. What if Tony wants to get this over with, get on with his life? What do I do then?’_

He knew he was going to have to decide soon. Tony didn’t deserve any of this, but he was as trapped in it now as James was. 

James took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. There was time to think about that later. Right now, he relaxed and reached out, looking for his lost Grace. He stretched his senses as far as they could go, looking for the lost piece of himself. His head was so much clearer than it had been a week ago, he could reach out so much further. But there was still nothing. 

He sighed. It just wasn’t possible. Even in a time sink he should be able to find it. His Grace was a part of him, it _was_ him. The fact that it had been torn from him was bad enough. The idea it could be trapped somewhere, being used by _them_? He shuddered at the thought. 

‘ _Argh, why can’t I remember faster?’_ he thought. 

He’d been here less than a week, and instead of making things clearer, they’d gotten much more complicated. He had so many questions but so few answers. 

And even though they were time stopped, he had a feeling time wasn’t going to be on his side forever. 

  



	15. Chapter 15

TT 9: 20: 01 Days 

“Hey, that’s cheating,” James laughed. “Give that back.” 

Tony looked up from the diagram he was working on to see James chasing Dummy on the other side of the workshop. 

Dummy had snatched the ball they’d been tossing and was trying to make his escape. When it looked like James was closing in, Dummy tossed it to Butterfingers. Who of course missed. So much for that game of keep-away. Tony watched as James snatched the ball and tossed it in the air. 

“I win again!” he cheered. “The crowd goes wild!” 

Tony shook his head. “You shouldn’t play with them all the time, you’re going to spoil them,” he called over his shoulder. 

“Nah, don’t listen to the spoil sport, guys. _We_ know what’s fun, don’t we?” James said, teasing. He tossed the ball to Butterfingers, and the game was back on. 

Tony smiled fondly. The last ‘week’ had seemed to pass quickly. He’d made sure to spend time on his ‘Force’ training. He didn’t care what James called it. From now on it was the Force, and he was going to be a Jedi. He’d even drawn up some plans for a working lightsaber. _‘Who’s king of the geeks now?’_ he thought proudly. 

Yesterday, he’d finally gotten his arm to listen to the ‘you are fixed now’ command, but he wasn’t sure how much of that had been _actual_ belief he could do it or the knowledge that now that it was a week later, it should have healed up anyway. 

His other experiments with the Force had been less than consistent. He’d tried turning off the light on the patio every time he was upstairs, but so far, nothing. James must be aware he was trying to do it, too. He’d spread the blanket out, and put the pillows and lamp on it as if it was Aladdin’s carpet. _‘Gorgeous and a smart-ass,’_ Tony thought. _‘If he wasn’t an Angel, he’d be perfect for me.’_

Tony made sure to concentrate on his heart too, repeating over and over “your heart is fine, it is not failing, it’s healed and healthy now.” He wanted to believe it was working. But once again, how could he tell? Since they’d entered Tony Time™ he hadn’t had any irregular heartbeats, no dizziness or coughing. Even so, just in case his ‘self healing’ wasn’t working, he kept taking his medication. In case it _was_ , he ditched his two cup a day limit on coffee. _‘Why suffer if I don’t need to?’_ he thought. 

He was happy with his one _definite_ success with the Force. Turns out, since he’d been denying the need to sleep for years, he’d just magically stopped needing to, once he had access to Angel power. _‘It’s a dream come true,’_ he thought, and snorted at his own pun. 

Since he didn’t need to sleep, Tony made sure to spend a few hours every ‘day’ watching TV with James or engaging him in conversation. And although there had been a lot of flirting, they really hadn’t progressed much past that. James was keeping himself a little distant. Which was fair, Tony guessed. Once his assignment was over, Tony’d probably never see James again. He was an Angel after all, and Tony was just a human being. How much interest could he possibly hold for James? Besides, if he was still dying, he had no business getting involved with anyone. 

Tony sighed. 

And that was the other thing that had been on his mind, James’s assignment. The thing that had started all this. The whole Christmas Ghost thing. James hadn’t brought it up once in the last week. When he wasn’t sleeping, James seemed perfectly happy just hanging around the lab. He spent hours watching TV with Tony, talking with Jarvis, or playing with the bots. 

‘ _Time to test another hypothesis,’_ Tony thought. 

“Hey, James. Come here a second,” he called. 

James stopped chasing Butterfingers. “Thanks guys,” he said, giving the bot a pat on the arm. He jogged over to Tony’s workspace, 

“What ya working on today?” James asked, leaning into Tony’s space, looking over his shoulder. 

“Actually, I’ve just finished a project. This one is for a solar powered pump and filter for use in areas where there’s a lot of arsenic in the groundwater. It’s like a Sono filter, but better. Lighter and more portable. And cheaper. My foundation can start distributing them in about a year at no cost to low income areas.” 

James smiled, the big grin Tony liked. “Yeah? That’s great, Tony. I know you’ve been working hard on that one.” 

“Yeah, I have. But it’s finished. I finished a project,” he said, turning to look up at James expectantly. 

“Yeah, and I said that’s great,” James frowned in confusion. 

“We had a deal, remember?” Tony said. “I finish a project, and then you get to take me on one of those Manifestations, or whatever you call them. You know, a trip down memory lane? The Best of Tony Stark’s sucky Christmases past?” 

James eyes widened. “Oh, yeah, I guess we did.” He ran his hand through his hair, and pulled on the ends a little. “I guess we should do that then. Since you finished a project,” he said, sounding doubtful. 

“You don’t want to do that,” Tony said decisively. “You never planned on going through with the whole Christmas Ghost Visitation stuff, did you?” 

“Yeah, no, not so much. Not if I could help it,” James winced, chagrined. 

“Seriously? Then what was all that about? The whole ‘you need to be Redeemed’ thing? Was that just a lie?” Tony said, irritated. 

“No, not a lie,” James said quickly. “I really _was_ assigned to be your Christmas Ghost. My boss told me I needed to Redeem you, and that it was a life and death matter. And we _are_ going to have to do them eventually, I guess. I just have my own reasons for not doing them right away,” James said, looking determined. 

“Your own reasons? Like what?” Tony asked. 

James frowned, looking conflicted. Tony would have felt bad for him, but he was starting to get really irritated. He liked James, and he hated the idea that James had just been using him this whole time. 

“Look, I get that you can’t tell me everything. Secret Angel business, blah, blah. But you said these were _your_ reasons. Not your boss’s. What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?” Tony said. 

“Does this have anything to do with your nightmares?” he guessed. He was smart enough not to mention the crying or memory problems. Pepper would be so proud. 

James flinched and looked away. “Yeah, sort of. It’s complicated,” he finally said. 

“So, what? You’re hiding out here? Is that it? Are there other Angels out to get you? Jealous spouse? Or wait- did you kill someone, and now you’re laying low from the law?” Tony asked jokingly. 

James took a step away from him. “What? Why would you say that?” he asked, a strange look on his face. 

Tony held up his hands, palms up. “Hey, no, I was just kidding. I don’t think you killed anyone. You don’t seem the type.” But even as he said it, he remembered how dangerous he thought James had looked that first day. Tony couldn’t see it now, after spending so much time with him, but what did he really know about the guy? Just cause Tony had a crush on him didn’t automatically make James a good guy. He’d learned that the hard way a long time ago with Ty. 

James gave a frustrated little groan. “Look, let’s go sit on the couch and I’ll try to explain it, OK?” 


	16. Chapter 16

  


James sat with a huff and ran his hand over his face. “I’m not sure where to start,” he said. 

“Start at the beginning and take it step by step?” Tony suggested. 

James grimaced. “Yeah, OK. The beginning, huh? Shit, I don’t even know which beginning. There’s before all this,” he waved his hand over his shoulder, “and there’s after.” 

Tony nodded. “I know what you mean. I do that too, before Afghanistan and after. The question is, which one explains why you’re avoiding your Angel friends by hiding here with me?” 

“After, definitely after,” James said. He sighed. “OK, you know how I told you I was captured and tortured? Right?” Tony nodded. That would be impossible to forget. 

“Well,” James continued, “after I was rescued by my friends, I was in really bad shape. I was ready to Fall. Hell, I was hurt so bad I wanted to Fall.” 

Tony held up a hand. “Point of clarification: Fall?” he asked. 

James grimaced. “Falling is what we call it when an Angel is killed. We call it Falling, because for us, being killed and dying aren’t permanent. Because of what we are, how we’re made, we eventually regenerate. We get remade, sometimes sooner, sometimes later. But we always come back. It’s inevitable. You Fall, eventually you get up. But not for me, not this time. Somehow, while I was captured, the Dark Angels did something to me. I was told that if I Fell I wouldn’t be coming back. That I would die, permanently,” he said tightly. 

Tony didn’t know what to say to that. He knew what he’d felt like when he’d wanted to die in that cave. How much worse would it be for someone who was supposed to be immortal? And Dark Angels, really? ‘ _That didn’t sound both cliché and ominous as hell at all,’_ he thought sarcastically. 

“Well, shit,” Tony said. _‘Oh, good one, Tony. Very eloquent,’_ he thought. 

“It took me about a hundred years to recover after my rescue,” James continued. “The last fifty I’m starting to remember. The first fifty, not at all. I’m starting to think I never will.” 

“How long were you held captive?” Tony asked, dreading the answer. 

James flinched and looked away. “I don’t know. They had me in a time sink, like this one. So it could have been centuries,” he said. Tony could tell he was struggling to keep his tone even. 

Tony tried to imagine it, being tortured for centuries. He’d only been in Afghanistan for three months. It made his head reel. 

His distress must have shown on his face, because James leaned forward and put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s OK now. I’m doing a lot better, see?” 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, obviously. Wow, centuries of torture. I can’t imagine how terrible that must have been.” 

James snorted. “Yeah, me either, actually. My friends were so desperate to keep my alive, they went ahead and took some drastic measures,” he said bitterly. 

_‘Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good,’_ Tony thought. He slid his hand up to where James’s hand was resting on his shoulder and slipped their fingers together. He brought their hands down and rested them on the couch between them, keeping a hold of James’s hand. 

James looked at their hands and gave a small, tired smile. He didn’t pull his hand away. 

“For this next part you need to know that Angels can communicate mind-to-mind if we want to. If we’re far apart, say. Or if you want to make sure the other guy understands. It’s hard to have misunderstandings when you can read each other’s thoughts,” he said. 

Tony didn’t like where this was heading. “Can you stop other Angels from speaking to you telepathically? Or do you just automatically hear them?” Tony asked. 

“Normally you can block anyone you want. It’s kinda like a cell phone in your head,” James said sourly. 

“But not you,” Tony guessed. 

“Not After, no,” James replied. “I don’t know if it’s something the Dark Angels did on purpose, but ever since, I can’t seem to block anyone out of my head. Which was good, I guess in the very beginning, since I was mostly dead, or hell, wishing I was dead. The Angels kept me alive, kept me going. But then they decided the best way to help would be to block out everything that had happened while I was captured,” he said. He looked at Tony, hoping he understood. 

Tony thought about it. Would he block out those three months in Afghanistan if he could? He might block out some of the torture, sure, but to forget all of it? Forget what it had taught him? Forget Yinsen? No way. 

“Did they ask you before they ‘helped you?’” Tony asked, squeezing James’s hand gently. 

James shook his head. “No, they didn’t,” he said bitterly. 

“Well, fuck. They just erased your brain without your consent? Why would they do that?” Tony said, angry on James behalf. What kind of jerk friends were these other Angels anyway? 

“At first it was just to save my life, so sure, I could see it,” James replied. “But later, Fury said it was for my own safety. I guess I had some sort of flashbacks early on that really scared everyone. But even as I got better, they kept on with the whole, you know, brain-monitoring thing. I’m not sure why. Everyone keeps acting as if I’m going to snap at any moment and either kill myself or kill everyone around me, and I don’t know _why_. No one will tell me. So for the last seventy years I’ve had at least one Angel in my head at all times, keeping tabs on me. I can feel them there, but I can’t block them out.” 

Tony squeezed James’s hand tighter. He tried to imagine it, someone inside your head, monitoring you 24/7, telling you it was for your own good. The idea was truly, truly horrifying. 

“So that’s why you want to stay here, with me? The other Angels can’t read your mind while you’re stuck in the time dilation field, can they?” Tony said. 

“Yeah, that’s part if it. I was hoping without someone constantly in my head, I could maybe remember more. Get a handle on it. The other part was I figured if I could show them I could do this, if I could show ‘em I could handle an easy job like Christmas Ghost, that they’d have to ease up, ya know? That I might be broken, but could still be useful. Then they’d all stop treating me like some sort of basket case,” James said, sounding more Brooklyn as he went on. 

Tony rubbed his thumb over James’s knuckles. “You know, there are different kinds of broken. Sometimes it just means you’re different than you used to be,” he said firmly. 

“Tony, you don’t understand. I am _really_ broken. I didn’t just lose my arm. I lost my wings, too. And my...” he looked conflicted for a moment, “Look, I know this won’t mean anything to you, but I lost most of my Grace. The thing that _makes_ me an Angel. That’s never happened to an Angel, ever. It shouldn’t even be possible. The other Angels can’t help but treat me like I’m broken. Hell, at this point I’m practically human,” James said, sounding ashamed. 

“So what? ‘Practically human’, pfffft,” Tony said dismissively. “I’m practically human myself. It’s not a bad thing to be,” Tony said firmly, squeezing James hand. 

James laughed. It was weak and watery, but it was a laugh. 

“So, is that it?” Tony asked. “You’re just hiding out from your Angel buddies for a while so you can have some peace and quiet?” 

“Yeah, and ya know, maybe remember some shit without everyone looking over my shoulder. I know they’re just trying to be helpful, but...” James trailed off, a tense look on his face. 

“Sometimes the people trying to help you end up hurting you instead. Because they’re trying to fix what doesn’t actually need repaired,” Tony said. 

James narrowed his eyes. “Is that another one of your movie quotes?” he asked suspiciously. 

“No baby, that’s all me. Remind me to tell you the watering can story sometime,” Tony said, grinning. 

“Why not tell it to me now?” James said. “I’ve been doing all the talking here. You could take a turn.” 

“I would. I mean I love to talk, don’t get me wrong. But after that, I think what you need is a drink. We’ve been stuck here on these two floors for what, 10 days now? Let’s go out, get some air, and get a drink,” Tony said. 

James leaned back. “You’re kidding right? Leave the tower? Why? You’ve got booze here.” 

“Yeah, not the same. If we’re going to complain about your backstabbing friends, which you obviously need to do, we need to do it in a bar. It’s a Rule,” Tony said, waving his hand to dismiss James complaint. 

“And I’m positive that going out is breaking the Christmas Ghost rules,” James said firmly. 

“Oh, please. You’ve _just_ confessed to breaking every Christmas Ghost rule so far, with malice aforethought. I’m pretty sure at this point my rule beats your rule,” Tony said confidently, giving James his puppy eyes. 

James gently pulled his hand from Tony’s and ran it through his hair. Tony cheered to himself. James always did that right before he caved. 

“Yeah, OK. Why not? Let’s get out of here for a while,” James said, smiling. 

  



	17. Chapter 17

TT 9: 23: 20 Days 

James looked around while Tony grabbed a bottle from the shelf behind the bar. 

This wasn’t what he’d expected when Tony said he’d wanted to go out drinking. He’d pictured some fancy high end place, all chrome and flash. This was almost, but not quite, a dive. Dark wood, scuffed chairs, tall tables, each with a baskets of peanuts, shells littering the floor. Tony just kept surprising him. In a good way. 

Tony grabbed two glasses and headed back to James. He thumped everything down, then paused. 

“Wait, before I forget,” he said. He pulled a roll of bills out his pocket and peeled off two fifties, then reconsidered and pulled off another one. He headed back to the bar and put two on the register, then on his way back, tucked one into the pocket of the only other guy in here, an older gentleman with glasses and a mustache, sitting at the bar. 

“What was that for?” James said, nodding his head toward the customer. Like everyone else they’d passed on the way over, he was frozen in mid motion, glass raised. The bartender was frozen in place talking on the phone at the other end of the bar. 

“What, that? I dunno, I just thought he looked kinda sad. Old guy sitting at the bar, alone on Christmas Eve afternoon? Thought he’d enjoy the surprise when he reaches in his pocket,” Tony said, shrugging. 

James looked at him and squinted his eyes. 

“What?” Tony said defensively. “Is that against the rules, too? Cause you didn’t say anything when I gave money to the homeless guy with the dog two blocks back.” 

“No, no, I’m not saying anything. I think it’s nice of you,” James said, picking up the bottle and pouring. “That’s what I don’t get.” 

“OK, you lost me, angel eyes,” Tony sighed. “What don’t you get?” 

He looked sad, as if he thought James was going to criticize him. James felt something twist in his chest. Why was Tony’s first reaction to always assume he’d done something wrong? It was starting to irritate him. _‘Can’t he see how great he is?’_ James thought. He wanted to find everyone who’d made Tony feel bad about himself and punch them in the face. Twice. 

James motioned with his glass, making sure he had Tony’s attention. “That’s just it,” he said. “You’re a nice guy. You’re not mad at me for lying to you, you’re passing out money to strangers, and every project you’re working on is going to help mankind in some way or another. Why the hell did Fury think you need to be Redeemed? Cause I’m just not seeing it,” he said. He took a big drink from his tumbler. Oh, he remembered this. This was scotch. It was close, but not his favorite. _‘To bad I can’t remember what my favorite is,’_ he thought wryly. 

“Exactly!” Tony said, interrupting his train of thought. Tony took a drink of his own. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I mean, yes, I’m not going to lie. You’d showed up any time before the last say, 18 months, and hells yes, I needed Redemption like nobody’s business. But now? No way, I’m already Redeemed,” he paused, and his face turned serious. “The hard way. I almost died, and someone close to me did die, before I saw the error of my ways,” he said. He glanced away from James, frowning. 

James put his drink down and reached out to touch Tony’s arm. “Hey, Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” he said. 

Tony had mentioned that before, hadn’t he? That Stane guy from his PVAM had tried to kill him. James suddenly felt a chill, and had the overwhelming urge to find this Stane and rip him limb from limb. _‘Good thing this Stane guy’s already dead,’_ he thought. Then he shuddered. That wasn’t like him was it? Wasn’t violence against his nature? 

James was jerked out of his thoughts when Tony touched his hand. 

“You OK? New memory?” Tony asked, concerned. 

James blinked and refocused on Tony. He must have been lost in thought longer than he’d realized. He pulled his hand back from Tony’s, even though he missed the contact. 

“No, ah, just thinking. Sorry.” James said. He cleared his throat. “So, did you want to talk about what happened to you? I’d love to listen.” 

Tony paused before answering, clearly thinking about it. “Yes, but No,” he grimaced. “What I mean is, I wouldn’t mind talking with you about it, the whole Afghanistan thing. I think if anyone could understand, it sounds like it would be you. And I mean, no, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Right now, we’re supposed to be drinking and bitching about your loser Angel friends.” 

“You mean what I can remember about my Angel friends. My brain is still full of holes,” James said, pouring himself another glass. 

“We are a pair, aren’t we? I can _remember_ everything that ever happened to me, and it sucks. You’ve _forgotten_ almost everything, and it sucks,” Tony said, smiling. He took a long drink. “Maybe if you smash us together, you’d get one normal person.” 

James snorted. “Yeah, and one really, really, really fucked up person,” he said. 

“Oh, my god, that would be horrible, can you imagine?” Tony said, making a sour face. 

“Yeah, let’s not imagine that,” James said. Of course, now he was imagining smashing himself against Tony. It sent a warm shiver through him, chasing away his earlier chill. He hoped Tony couldn’t tell. 

He looked up to find Tony staring at him, that intent look on his face. Tony blinked and glanced away. When he turned back, the look was gone. 

Tony took another drink, then looked at his glass. 

“Wait,” Tony asked, “can we even get drunk? I mean, I don’t need to sleep anymore. Pretty sure we don’t have to eat if we didn’t want to. Is this stuff going to have any effect?” He held his glass up, peering through the amber liquid. 

“Only if we really want it to,” James replied, pouring himself more. “And today, I think I really, really want it to.” 

“You say ‘really’ a lot when you’re drinking,” Tony pointed out. James flicked a peanut at him, hitting him on the shoulder. 

“Yeah, well, I literally can’t remember the last time I drank to get drunk, so you’ll have to excuse me,” James said. 

Tony muttered something under his breath James couldn’t quite hear. “What was that?” he asked. 

Tony looked up, all wide eyed innocent. “Nothing,” he said, smiling. James loved the way his smile made the wrinkles by his eyes crinkle. _‘He has whiskey-colored eyes,’_ he thought. Then he shook his head. He had no business thinking about Tony like that. 

He was still keeping things from Tony. For his own safety, sure, but it still meant James was lying. And the idea of lying to Tony was getting more painful for him every day. But what choice did he have? He couldn’t tell Tony the rest of his reasons for staying here. If he told Tony everything, about the Council, Hydra, the possible traitor, he’d be putting his life in danger. Hell, the Dark Angels had found a way kill one of _his_ kind permanently. One of them could rip Tony apart with just a thought. The idea made his insides curdle. He’d kill anyone who hurt Tony. He felt cold lancing through his shoulder again, worse than before. He rubbed it automatically, trying to warm it, but it was so cold, he was fucking freezing, like ice, _he was back in the ice. no, no, no. it wasn’t normal, this ice, it was something else. it was dark. black ice, eating, eating his Grace, but there was a warm voice. it was saying something. something important about Tony? but the voice was fading, there was only ice, the ice was closing in and…_

“Hey, James. James, sweetheart?” 

‘ _Tony sounds so far away. Why is he so far away?’_ he thought. _‘Tony should never be far away.’_

“James, you’re scaring me here,” Tony said. “We’re in a bar in New York. It’s still our forever Christmas Eve. You’re safe, I promise. You’re here with me and you’re safe. You told me yourself, while we’re time stopped not even Angels can touch us. It’s just you and me, the only two people in the world. What ever you’re seeing isn’t happening, I promise. Come back to me, James. ” 

James shuddered. Tony was calling him. He refocused, breathing deep, forcing his eyes open. When had he closed them? Tony was standing next to him, a look of deep concern on his face. 

He blinked a couple of times, and looked around. _‘Right, the bar. Drinking. Had he been caught in a memory? Something about the cold?’_ he thought. Whatever it had been it was gone now. 

“Fuck, fuck, fucking hell,” James said, shaking his head to clear it. 

Tony frowned and reached out, running his hand up and down James arm. “What was that?” he asked. 

James sighed, then gave Tony a smile, trying to reassure him. “Sorry. Sorry about that. I think I got caught in a flashback or something,” he said. 

“Yeah, I got that,” Tony said. “Are you sure you’re OK? You were shivering, and your eyes were doing that white flashy thing for a second.” 

James frowned. _‘White flashing eyes?’_ he thought. Angels’ eyes didn’t flash white. Tony must have mistaken the normal blue flash for white in the dim light of the bar. Had he been trying to draw on his Grace during a flashback? Had that happened before? 

“Do you want to head back to the Tower?” Tony asked. James could hear the worry in his voice. He didn’t want Tony to worry. He wasn’t sure exactly what had just happened, but he felt fine now. Well, mostly fine. 

“Nah, I’m fine, Tony. Really. I don’t want to ruin our bender. We ain’t even hardly buzzed yet. Let’s stay awhile longer,” he said. Tony stepped back, and returned to his seat. 

“OK, I know this is hypocritical, coming from me, but are you sure? Maybe drinking is a bad idea if it’s going to trigger you,” Tony said. 

“No, it wasn’t the drinking. I went down the wrong road in my head. It won’t happen again,” James said. 

Tony frowned. “Well, if you’re sure. You’re an adult. Hell, you’ve probably been an adult for a million years. I’m not going to tell you what to do. But you’ll let me know the second you want to go back, OK?” 

“Yeah, sure, doll. No problem, I promise,” James said. He stopped, realizing what he’d just said. _‘Shit, I called him doll. Why did I do that?’_ he thought. _‘But wait, had Tony called him sweetheart? Had he heard that right? Maybe it just something he’d said because he was worried?’_

Tony smiled wide. “OK, we will continue with our epic bender. A bender people will write hymns about. Here,” he said, pulling another two bills out of his pocket. “Why don’t you go get another couple of bottles. We’ll do this right.” 


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as James’s back was turned, Tony reached over to pick up James’s tumbler. He had been gripping it when his flashback had started. Tony had pulled it from his hand, afraid he’d shatter it. He lifted it up to examine it in the dim light. The entire tumbler was covered in a thick rime of ice, the inch of whisky in the bottom a frozen slush.

He frowned, then pushed his glass over to James’s side of the table. Making sure James wasn’t looking, he carefully dropped the frozen glass onto the floor, then kicked it under the table behind him.

“Hey, James, while you’re there, grab me a new glass. I dropped mine,” he called over his shoulder.

He wasn’t sure what had happened, but every instinct he had was telling him he couldn’t show James that glass. It had happened during the worst of James’s flashback. That phantom arm had flickered in and out, and his face had become this terrifying blank. His gaze had turned hard, his eyes flashing white. It had lasted for less than 3 seconds, but the glass he’d been holding in his right hand had iced over instantly. _‘The freezing point of 80 proof scotch is what, -26 Celsius? How much colder was his hand to freeze it instantly? Or was it Angel Magic? He intended to freeze it, so it just did?’_ he thought. Tony sighed. He was getting really tired of Angel Magic fucking up his perfectly good laws of physics.

James came back bearing an array of bottles clutched under his arm, a couple glasses pinched between his fingers.

“Little help here?” he asked, smiling.

Tony carefully helped him get everything on the table. “We’re not going to drink all this are we? How much do Angels need to drink to get smashed? Or are we hoping to kill our problems with alcohol poisoning?” he teased.

“Nah, I just realized I couldn’t remember what my favorite tipple was, so I thought I’d try a few out, see if I could find it,” he said. He smiled, but Tony could tell he was still off balance and trying to put a brave face on it.

“Tipple, there’s a word I haven’t heard in a long time,” Tony said, arranging the bottles on the side of the table.

“Yeah, guess I’m kind of an old guy,” James said, winking. He started cracking open bottles, cautiously smelling each one.

“OK, I’ll bite,” Tony said, sipping his drink, “how old are you, Mr. Immortal Being? Surprise me.”

James frowned in thought. “Ya know, I can’t really remember,” he finally said. “Why? How old are you, Mr. Billionaire Inventor?”

“Oh, please, anybody with Google knows I turned 50 this year. You need to ask better questions than that,” Tony scoffed.

“Questions like what?” James asked, taking a careful sip of tequila. He made a face, then glanced over at Tony.

Tony met his eyes and gave him his best flirty smile. “Oh, I’ve got questions, Angel Face, if you’ve got answers,” he said, winking.

James laughed, and seemed to relax. “Bring it, Ape Man. Let’s see what you got,” he said charmingly.

 

* * *

  

TT    10: 01: 42 Days

Turns out James liked bourbon. _‘Like he really, really likes bourbon,’_ Tony thought, then snorted. He was starting to sound like James.

What was he doing? Oh, yeah, angel questions.

“So what’s the hell with these names anyway? I mean, they don’t sound very angelic,” Tony said, then reconsidered. “Well, I suppose James is angelic, and maybe Nick. St. Nicholas, right? But Clint? Steve? Katie-Kate?” he waved a finger at James. “Those just aren’t the names I think of when I think ‘Angel’.” Tony tried to finger quote Angel, but realized he was still holding the whisky in one hand and his glass in the other.

He carefully put the glass down, and poured a little more scotch. He then reached over and filled up James’s glass with bourbon. He set the empty bottle down on the next table with the others. _‘Poor dead soldier,’_ he thought. _‘Time for more reinforcements.’_

He got up to get another bottle for James, watching his balance. He hadn’t gotten shit-faced since before Afghanistan, and he was out of practice. No drinking with heart damage or on heart medication. But he was in Tony Time now, right? That should keep him safe. Even so, he was being careful to drink a lot less than James, but just enough so James didn’t feel like he was drinking alone. It was harder than Tony anticipated. Turns out Angels had a hell of a capacity for booze.

While he was up, Tony made sure to grab a couple glasses of water. Better stay hydrated. _‘Unless I can just wish away hangovers. That would certainly be a point in Angel Magic’s favor,’_ he thought.

James grabbed the glasses from him when he got back to the table, spilling some. _‘Yeah, he’s definitely hammered,’_ Tony thought.

James snorted, flicking the water on his fingers at Tony.

“Where were we? Oh, yeah, names. I dunno, I guess we change it up sometimes. Especially after we Regenerate, or have, I don’t know, something big happen to us. Or shit, maybe you just get tired of the same name after a century or two,” James said. “It goes in cycles, I guess,” he continued, after drinking some water. “The latest trend was to use US presidents’ names. I’ve always been James, but I guess before I was captured I added Buchanan. Don’t ask me why. I probably lost a bet with Clint or something. Hell if I know. But Steve and some of the others still call me Bucky.”

Tony gave an evil grin. “Bucky? You go by Bucky?”

James glared at him. Oh, that was so cute. He was adorable when he was angry. He did that duck-face pout Tony loved.

“Yeah, no, doll-face. Don’t you start calling me Bucky. It’s ok when Steve does it, but I go by James now,” he growled. He might have been going for menacing, but it just made Tony want to squirm in his seat. _‘Oh, god, he needs to quit doing that. That was just too sexy,’_ Tony thought.

Tony gave James his best ‘who me?’ look. “James, of course I would never call you Bucky, James, if you didn’t want me to, James,” he said sweetly.

James rolled his eyes and took another drink. “Now I’m wishing Angels _could_ time travel. Make it so I never mentioned it, ” he muttered.

Tony grinned. “So, you were saying presidents names?” he prompted.

“Yeah, so, anyway, when I added Buc... when I added to my name, my friend Steve added Grant to his. Or maybe it was the other way around? And Clint became, well, Clint in the 90s. He was Francis, before that. Had been for a long time, but he sort of had a crush on Clinton. Bill, not Hillary,” James said, wrinkling his nose.

“Oh, and of course, Natalia,” he added. “No, Natasha. That’s right, Natasha had to be different. She said if the rest of us were going to be Presidents, she was going to be royalty, so she changed her last name to Romanov.”

“You haven’t talked about her before. Natasha. What’s she the Angel of?”

James frowned.

“I don’t...She’s not...” he paused to think it over. “Ya got me, sweetheart. I got no clue,” James said shrugging, reaching for the bourbon.

 

* * *

  

TT    10: 03: 53 Days

“So you’re saying that Angels are actually the archetypal avatars of humanity’s strongest emotions, generated out of the concentrated dark energy of the Universe and given human form? That seems really cliché,” Tony said skeptically.

James glared at Tony across the table. “I don’t know! I don’t remember. I just explained it to you the way it was explained to me.” James paused, and finished his drink. “Course Clint’s the one ‘splained it to me, so I’m sure it’s fucked up. Clint could fuck up explaining 2+2. Bruce could explain it to you better, he’s the new head Science Angel now. You should ask him. I think you guys would get along,” he frowned into his empty glass, then set it carefully on the table.

“Wait. Bruce is the Angel of Science? You said Bruce was the Angel of Righteous Anger. And how is science an emotion? I mean I love science, don’t get me wrong. I’d marry science if I could. But you definitely said Angels were the embodiment of human...passions” Tony said.

James grinned at his choice of words. “That’s not how I put it, but yeah, I guess. And Bruce is Righteous Anger. He’s not like, a patron, or muse, or whatever. He’s actually created out of it, ya know? It’s like his base, uhm-” James paused.

“Personality, attribute, facet?” Tony suggested.

“Yeah, those. But he used to be a guy. Who was angry, well, died angry anyway, and was offered the Choice,” he said irritably. “And Angel of Science is just a Job, like Holiday Spirit, or Cupid, or, or...” James trailed off, glaring at the four empty bourbon bottles.

Tony didn’t want to make James upset. It wasn’t James’s fault he couldn’t remember what it was to be an Angel. In fact, Tony wasn’t sure why he’d started this line of questioning. It had to be hurting James. That was so sad. He didn’t want to hurt James. _‘James is so funny, and sad, and sexy. So, so sexy with the hair, and the scruff. Why did he have scruff? Did he forget how to shave, too? Oh, that was sad. Poor James. I just want to hug him and feed him cookies. Or more bourbon. And lick that cleft in his chin. Do something, Stark. You need to stop James from being sad,’_ Tony thought.

“So, Bruce is in charge of Science? Do you think he’d marry me if I asked?” Tony asked, trying to stifle a giggle.

“No, I don’t think Bruce would marry you,” James said pouting. He threw a peanut shell at Tony and missed.

“Ah, you missed,” Tony crowed. He started laughing, and James did to. _‘Oh, yeah! You made him laugh, good job, Tony,’_ he thought. _‘Drinking was a great idea. Whose idea was it? Oh, yeah, it was mine. I always have the best ideas.’_

James laughter trailed off. “Wait, what were we talking about?” he asked. Tony laughed harder, snorting through his nose.

 

* * *

 

TT    10: 05: 13 Days

Tony squinted into his glass. It was empty again. Oh, right. James had answered his question, but the answer didn’t make sense. He leaned sideways a little, to focus on James better. They’d moved their chairs together at some point, and now they were sitting side by side.

“Seriously? You’re an Angel Atheist? How does _that_ work?” he asked.

“Well, I’ve never meet anyone who claimed to be God. Never seen any sign of one either, not in all the time I’ve been around, and trust me, I’ve been around a long time. I think.” He paused to gulp some more bourbon. “Plus- plus I ain’t about to believe in something without proof. Stevie believes in God, and a couple of the others too, but not me.” A frown crossed James’ face. “If I did meet God, if someone actually is in charge of all this fucked up shit, I think I’d punch him in the face,” he added indignantly.

Tony could sympathize with that. “Hear, hear! Glad I don’t have to start believing in God. Kinda hard to change at my age,” he said, clinking his glass against James’s.

“Pfffft,” James said, “I told ya before, you’re not old, doll face. You gotta quit saying that.”

“I’ll stop saying I’m old, if you stop saying you’re broken,” Tony replied.

James smiled, and licked the bourbon off his lower lip. Tony watched, mesmerized.

“Deal,” James said.

“Deal,” Tony answered.

They slammed their empty glasses on the table.

“All right then, what should we drink to next?” Tony asked.

“To new friends,” James said, refilling their glasses.

“To new memories,” Tony said, raising his glass.

James gave Tony a crooked smile. “I see what you did there, gorgeous,” he said.

Tony sipped from his glass and smirked, looking at James through his eyelashes. He licked his lip, too, just to see James’s eyes dilate.

 

* * *

 

TT    10: 06: 20 Days

“We should totally do it,” Tony said nodding his head.

“No, no, no. Nuh-uh,” James said disagreeing. “You don’t deserve that, sweetheart.”

“No, it won’t be so bad. You said it yourself. You’d only do my best one,” Tony argued. He’d drunk enough that he’d gone past stupid and back into genius territory. He’d done some of his best engineering in college at this level of drunk. Why couldn’t James see this was a great idea?

“But we’re doing good now aren’t we, sugar? Like this, just living here in Tony Time, right? If we do this, we’d be, I don’t know, one step closer to ending the loop. We agreed we weren’t going to do that. Not until we both agreed to it,” James argued. He had on his stubborn face. It was funny, Tony had only known the guy, what? Ten days? And already he could read James’s face better than some people he’d known for years.

“But that’s what makes it genius. We just do one, and that way you won’t get in any trouble. We make one Visitation to Christmasstes past, and that way if your boss asks, you say ‘See, I was doing my job. It was Stark, he wouldn’t go along after he saw what a Visitation was like,’” Tony insisted.

“But why do one at all? I’m in just as much trouble either way,” James said, hugging his glass.

“No, if you do none, they’ll know you were just, you know, hiding out. Which you are. But you don’t want them to know that, right? Buncha mind-erasing, brain-peeping assholes. If we do one visit, see, you’ve done your job. Then it’s my fault for not cooperating,” Tony waved his hand.

“Yeah, but mind reading, remember? They’re gonna know, sweetheart,” James pleaded.

Tony sighed and leaned his head on James’s shoulder.

“No, they’ll know you agreed not to do any more. Once we do one, you can think that it was all part of the plan. Plus, you’re, you know, you’re a lot better since you got here. I can tell. Before, you were, well, yourself only when I pissed you off. Now you’re _you_ almost all the time. I bet you could block them now if you tried. Or maybe I could make you something, some sort of frequency jammer, something you could wear to keep them out,” Tony said.

‘I know you’re tryna help, Tony. I do, but it’s a bad idea. You said all your Christmases were bad. I don’t want you to see something bad. I want you to be happy,” James said sincerely.

“You want me to be happy?” Tony asked, tipping his head up, mouth brushing James’s jaw.

“Oh, hell yeah, doll. More than you know,” James whispered.

“Then you should probably kiss me now,” Tony whispered back.

So James did. Soft, gentle, and nothing like Tony expected.

He just hoped he’d remember it in the morning.


	19. Chapter 19

  


TT 10: 20: 49 Days 

Tony woke up slowly. He drew in a breath and let it out, waiting for his brain to reboot. _‘What day is it?’_ he thought. His mouth tasted like cheap scotch. Yuck. And then it all came flooding back: James, the bar, drinking. They’d stumbled home eventually, Tony giggling like mad and putting fifty dollar bills in people’s pockets if he thought they looked like they needed it. They’d made it home and he’d helped James to bed, and... 

Tony turned over, jostling James, who was curled up against his side, still sleeping. 

“Too early. Go back to sleep,” James growled, throwing his arm over Tony and reeling him in. Tony sighed and settled back. _‘I’m being spooned by an Angel,’_ he thought. _‘This is nice. Very nice. Of course this would be a lot better if we were both naked.’_

He glanced down to double check. Nope, they were both still fully dressed. They’d only managed to kick off their shoes before collapsing into James’s bed. Tony was pretty sure he didn’t have enough control over the Force yet to wish away their clothes. Tony sighed. 

‘ _Oh well, at least I had enough control to wish away any hangover,’_ he thought. For once his head was clear after a bender. He wondered how much of their inebriation had been actual alcohol and how much had been wishful thinking, especially on James’s part. He shifted to get more comfortable. His jeans were cutting into his waist. 

James gave a small jerk behind him. Tony tipped his head back to see his face. James was sitting up slightly, peering down at Tony. 

“You’re still here,” James said, sounding surprised. _‘Is that good surprise or bad surprise?’_ Tony thought, worried. 

“You asked me to stay,” Tony said “so I stayed.” He paused. “You said you didn’t want to be alone last night. But it’s morning, so, well, whatever. I can go now if you want.” He wiggled a little, trying to get out from under James’s arm. 

James’s arm tightened around him, keeping him still. “No, no, I don’t want you to go,” he said. He looked at Tony and his eyes narrowed. “You kissed me last night,” he said. 

“Actually, technically, I think you kissed me first. I could be wrong, got to admit the last part of the evening gets a _little_ blurry,” Tony replied. 

“You asked me to kiss you,” James said, sounding surprised. 

“Yeah, I did. It was a good kiss too, I remember that for sure. In fact, I wouldn’t mind some more,” Tony said, grinning. Actually, it had been more like ten minutes of fantastic kissing, with a little bit of wandering hands thrown in. Tony had thought James had been alright with the idea. He’d certainly been enthusiastic last night. But James was leaning back, a small frown on his face. 

Tony felt his heart fall. _‘I am so stupid,’_ he thought. Sure he’d been excited last night, he’d been thinking about kissing James for days. But obviously James didn’t feel the same. And Tony had kissed James while he was drunk. He’d just gone ahead and done what he usually did, falling back on old habits. Which was fine for one night stands, but Tony wanted so much more than that from James. He’d kissed James when he was compromised and now he’d ruined everything. _‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,”_ his brain chanted. 

“I’ll just go, you, ah...” he said trailed off, trying to wiggle out of the bed. All he wanted was to get down to his workshop, and hide forever. 

James grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “Tony, no, sweetheart. Whatever you were just thinking, you’re probably thinking the wrong thing. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. I wanted to kiss you. I did want you to stay the night,” he said irritably. “Geez, stop being an ass, and give me some credit here. I’m brain damaged, not a child.” 

“You wanted to kiss me?” Tony asked slowly. James leaned over him, nodding. 

“Yeah, for a while now,” James said. “And I think I want to kiss you again.” 

Tony started to lean up, grinning, then flopped back down groaning. “Ah, no. I don’t know about you, but I need to brush my teeth before we do that.” 

James leaned closer, his mouth hovering over Tony’s. “No, you don’t,” he whispered. 

Tony ran his tongue over his teeth. “Ooh, minty fresh. Have I told you lately how much I love Angel Magic?” he said. Tony ran his hands through James’s hair, then pulled him down for a kiss. It was a good kiss, but James was tense. He was kissing Tony like it was the only chance he’d get. It felt like a kiss good-bye. 

Tony tried to change it up, deepen it, but felt James pull away. 

James looked him in the eye. “That’s so you don’t get the wrong idea here. I kissed you last night cause I wanted to. Not cause I was drunk. But we need to talk,” he said. 

Tony let James pull slightly away, but kept running his hands through James’s hair. It was so soft, it had to be magic. “Talking, no. No, more kissing first,” he whined. 

James kissed him once more, softly, before he sat up. Tony groaned softly. 

“Fine, OK, talking. I’m an adult. Talking is probably a good idea,” Tony said, rubbing his hands over his face. 

James sat up. He pushed the pillows behind him, and lay on his left side. Tony did the same so they were face to face. James dropped his hand back onto Tony’s arm, but he was still frowning. Tony wondered if James had a hangover. 

They both stared at each other. 

“So, talking,” Tony prompted. “We are talking. Yep, talking man to man like grownups.” 

James waved his hand in the air. “That’s it, that’s it exactly. We aren’t talking man to man. We’re talking man to Angel. No matter how much I like you, I’m still an Angel. And this,” He motioned his hand in between them, “is definitely against the rules.” 

“And you’re all about the rules? Since when?” Tony asked skeptically. 

James frowned. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t care about the rules. Not when it comes to you. But the other Angels do. Sooner or later, this time bubble is going to break. And no matter what we have or don’t have here,” he reached out and stroke Tony’s jaw, “it’s all going to end as soon as it does. I just need you to know that before you get too involved.” 

“I thought you said this time bubble was semi-permanent. That we’re the only two who can decide to break it,” Tony said. 

“Exactly,” James said. “Sooner or later you’re going to want to end this. You can’t be happy with just the two of us forever. You’re going to want to go back to your friends, your company. You have a life outside this bubble. When I started this, I was hoping for a few weeks to myself. I knew it was wrong, to trap you here like that, and I’m really sorry. I am. I had no right to do that to you. But if you think you’re fallin’ for me, well, it changes things. I got no right to mess up your life like that,” James said. He sounded close to tears. 

“You think you’re messing up my life?” Tony asked irritably. “How did you come to that conclusion?” Tony sat up, leaning back against the headboard. 

James looked at him like he was an idiot. “I trapped you in a time sink? I’m keeping you here against your will? I’ve had my own agenda from the start, and I was just using you? Take your pick, sweetheart,” he said testily, sitting up as well. 

“Did you ever think that maybe I had my own reasons for not breaking out?” Tony asked. “If you remember, it was my idea to delay the Visitations.” 

“Yeah, but I tricked you into it. Everyone tries to avoid ‘em. I just used that to get what I wanted.” 

“Yeah, well so did I. I was using you too,” Tony snapped. _‘Oh god, why did I say that?’_ he thought. _‘I wasn’t going to tell him about the whole dying thing.’_ He scrambled for a way to cover, but kept coming up blank. 

“You were using me?” James asked doubtfully. “How? You said you just wanted to catch up on some work. Not something you need to hijack a time sink for.” 

Tony paused, thinking fast. James had told him about his problems. Not in a lot of detail, and he was pretty sure there were still things James wasn’t telling him. But he’d opened up, shared his problems. He’d broken the rules and told Tony about the other Angels. He’d said he liked Tony. He implied he wanted something more with Tony. Was it fair to keep this from him? How much did he really like James? How much was infatuation, and how much was real feeling? If James was feeling something for Tony, didn’t he deserve to know the truth? Tony sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He’d never had a real relationship in his life. There was a reason for that. This shit was hard. 

“Tony, you OK, sweetheart?” James asked. He was leaning toward Tony, obviously concerned. 

Tony didn’t know where this was headed. Or how long it would last. But he wasn’t the only one in this. He couldn’t make decisions for the both of them. 

He met James’s worried eyes. “I was angling for more time too. As much as I could get. I was trying to use you, to find out either how you managed to stop time, or to figure out a way to stay here and use it for myself. That was my plan, from the first moment I saw those lousy frozen pigeons in the sky. Then, when you showed me that there was some kind of Force here? One we could use for ourselves? I wanted that too. The only reason I brought up the Visitations yesterday was because I was sure you were lying about something. And it hurt. Stupid, right? I was hurt because I thought you were using me, but all along I was using you,” he said. He paused to take a deep breath. That had been painful. 

“Using me how, Tony? I still don’t understand,” James asked. He scooted over, so he could put his arm over Tony’s shoulder. 

Tony took a deep breath. He turned his head to look at James. “I’m dying,” he said flatly. _‘Wow, that wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It was worse,’_ he thought. 

James was blinking rapidly. “You’re what now? Dying? How?” he asked. 

“My heart. It’s failing. I told you some about Afghanistan last night right. I’m pretty sure we talked about it later, right, after you finished bottle four? Do you remember?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I remember. You said Stane set you up to be kidnapped, and you were injured with your own weapons. You told me about Yinsen, and how you escaped, but he didn’t make it,” James said. “You had Stane arrested, and he killed himself in jail.” 

“Yeah, well, turns out meatball surgery in a cave to remove dozens of pieces of shrapnel? Not the most sanitary. I left out the part where I got a massive infection from my wounds. By the time Yinsen convinced the Ten Rings to get him better antibiotics, the damage to my heart was done,” Tony said bitterly. He reached down, and pulled his t-shirt up and off, showing James his chest. He could feel James leaning forward to take in the damage. 

Tony closed his eyes. He didn’t want to watch James face while he looked. He knew what James was seeing. The scars from the shrapnel, the multiple surgeries. The place where they’d cut out a small chunk of flesh, leaving a divot. He knew it was ugly. 

“Does it hurt?” James asked after a moment, leaning back. Tony opened his eyes. 

“No, not anymore,” he said. 

“And there’s nothing they can do? To fix your heart?” James asked quietly. 

“No, not really. I’ve got medication, and a pacemaker. Which I designed myself, thank you.” Tony paused, unsure how much to confess. _‘Oh, what the hell,’_ he thought. “They wanted to put me on a list for a heart transplant, but I told them no,” Tony added quickly. 

James narrowed his eyes. “You told them no? What the hell, Tony!” 

“Yeah, well, I was feeling guilty about the whole merchant of death thing. I felt maybe any spare hearts should go to someone more deserving. And in the meantime I’d try and fix my company, change course, that kind of thing,” Tony said defensively. 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” James said, poking Tony in the shoulder. 

“Yeah, I’ve been told,” Tony said. “Besides, they gave me a couple of years. I figured I’d get enough stuff done it wouldn’t matter. That was 18 months ago. So when you came along, I figured it was, I don’t know- a sign? I could get a lot more done than I’d planned before my time ran out. Plus I’ve been trying to use the Force to try and fix my heart, the way I fixed my arm. I can’t tell if it’s working, though. Jarvis says my scans are normal, and I haven’t had any symptoms since this whole thing started. But sometimes I don’t.” Tony paused, then “So you see, I was using you too,” he finished quietly. 

James huffed a laugh. “Well, I guess we’re both a pair of idiots then,” he said. 

“Yeah, guess so.” 

James blew out a breath. “You know I’ll work on fixing your heart, too. I don’t know if it’ll work, or if the other Angels will let it stand. But I’ll try,” he said sincerely. 

“Thanks,” Tony said quietly. 

They sat for a while, lost in thought. 

“So if I’m using you, and you’re using me, where does that leave us?” James asked. 

Tony took James’s hand in his. “I guess they cancel each other out. As long as we both want to be here now, does it matter what our motives were at the start?” 

“I guess not,” James said thoughtfully. “And as long as we both agree we can end this when we want, it’s not like either of us is keeping the other prisoner.” 

“Good thing. At least we don’t have to worry about Stockholm syndrome,” Tony said. 

“What the fuck is that?” James asked skeptically. 

“It’s when a prisoner starts sympathizing with their captors. You know, cause they hold all the power, you want to please them to keep yourself safe? That kind of thing,” Tony said. 

James frowned and shifted away from Tony. 

Tony grabbed his arm. “Hey, no, I told you: you don’t have to worry. I like you for you. I’ve had enough practice being held prisoner not to fall for my jailer. And I think you do to,” he said meaningfully. 

James rubbed his hand over his face. He looked at Tony and sighed. “Yeah, OK, you’re right. So where does that leave us though? Whatever we have between us ends when we break this, the other Angels will see to that,” James said. “And there’s no guarantee one or both of us won’t want out tomorrow.” 

“Yeah, hate to break it to you James, but that’s true of every relationship. Besides, every relationship has outside pressure, from family, friends, jobs. Ours just has time travel, angels and objects of power. Cause we’re special!” Tony finished, wiggling his eyebrows. 

James punched him in the arm, but he was laughing. “So do you want that, a relationship? With me?” he asked. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I’d like to try anyway. I’m going to warn you I suck at them. Never had a successful one yet.” 

“That’s OK, I can’t even remember if I’ve ever had one,” James replied. 

“We’ll take it slow,” Tony suggested. Even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. “We’ll just live each day of Tony Time as it comes.” 

“Yeah, OK,” James said thoughtfully. “But if we’re doing this, there’s something I should show you, too,” he said. He leaned back, hand gripping the bottom of his henley. 

Tony held up a hand. “Hey, no, you don’t have to do that. Just cause I showed you mine doesn’t mean you have to show me...” he trailed off as James pulled his shirt off. James sat perfectly still, not breathing, eyes closed, the same way Tony had. 

Tony studied James’s chest. He had scarring around his shoulder, thin silver lines that spread from the top, trailing down to his chest, almost like burn marks. There were faint black smudge marks of some sort, about six or seven trailing down his left and right sides, and it looked like more continued under his jeans. It really wasn’t that bad. 

Without a word, James turned around, letting Tony see his back. Tony sucked in a breath. This, this was bad. James had burn marks trailing down from his each of shoulder blades, about ten inches long, as if someone had poured something molten down his back. High on the left side where his arm was missing, there was a black mark, about the size of a dime, with small black tendrils leading from it, almost like a web. And his back had dozens of those black smudges. A lot near the top, then trailing off as they streamed downward. 

He could see how tense James was, how still he was holding himself, waiting for Tony’s judgement. 

“Does it hurt?” he asked quietly. 

James sighed. “Just the, ah, top of my shoulder. It aches sometimes. Stabbing pains too. The other Angels kept it in check for me, but since I’m here, they can’t so...” he trailed off. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Tony asked. 

James turned around, but he left his shirt off. “Nah, sweetheart, it’s fine. Thanks, though,” he said. 

“So, not a deal breaker, then?” James asked quietly. Tony could hear the worry in his voice. “Angels are supposed to be perfect. We’re not supposed to have scars. Compared to the others I’m...,” he trailed off, unable to finish. 

“Pfff,” Tony blew out a breath. “Are you kidding me? You’re gorgeous, sweetheart. A few scars doesn’t change that.” 

Tony scooted closer, so he could see better. He reached out a hand, then hesitated. 

“Can I?” he asked, quietly. 

James nodded. Tony ran his fingers down over the silver scars, across his chest, making James shiver. He trailed his fingers across James’s abs, down to one of the smudges. They had a texture, like... Tony leaned closer. It was a feather. He looked up, meeting James eyes. 

“My wings,” he started, voice rough. He cleared his throat. “They burned,” he said firmly, decisively. 

Tony closed his eyes for a moment. What do you say to that? Sorry? 

He reached out, and cupped James face in his hands, brushing his thumbs across his cheeks. He leaned in and kissed him, trying to say with a kiss what he didn’t have words for. 

James kissed him back. Then they leaned together for a while, just holding on. 

Finally Tony straightened up, the blew out a breath. “So, we agree? We’re going to go slow, take it day by day, see where this goes? And we’re going to stay in our little time loop until one of us wants out. For any reason. Right?” he asked seriously. 

James nodded. “Yeah, let’s do this,” he said. 

“Oh, thank fuck. Does that mean we can stop talking now? Cause if we’re going to have any more serious discussions this morning, I’m going to need a lot of coffee first.” 

“I’m sorry Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “I’m afraid we’re out of coffee. You finished the last of it yesterday.” 

Tony jerked and threw a hand over his heart. “Out of coffee? How can we be out of coffee?” he asked, panicked. 

James started laughing, pointing at him. “Oh, shit, you should see your face,” he said. 

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. “Yeah, laugh it up, Angel-soft. Wait til we run out of chocolate. See how funny you find that,” he grumbled. 

James kept laughing, so Tony did the only thing he could. He tackled him and kissed him breathless. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part of this series takes place after this chapter and before Chapter 20. You can read it here: [We'll Take a Cup of Kindness Yet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6306013).


	20. Chapter 20

  


**Book III –The Future**

 

“There’s no fate but that we make for ourselves.” ~ Terminator: 1, 2, 3, etc.

or

“The future is in the past!” Mabel, Gravity Falls

 

**Chapter 20**

Nick closed the book on his desk and banished it with a wave. He didn’t need the decoy Book of Life anymore now that Steve was out of the way.

Nick rang the silver bell.

Phil teleported into the room without a whisper of sound, scrolling through his ever present tablet. _‘Good thing he’s on my side,’_ Fury thought, scowling. He had no idea how Phil could do that. This room was supposed to be shielded against teleportation while the doors were closed.

“You know, for the Spirit of Christmas, you don’t seem very jolly,” Phil said when he looked up, taking a seat in front of Nick’s desk.

“Do I have something to be jolly about?” Nick asked crisply. “Tell me the good news. Is everything going according to schedule?”

“As far as I know, boss,” Phil answered calmly, making a note with his stylus.

“Has Rogers posed any problems for Delta Team?” Nick asked.

Phil consulted his tablet. “It’s been two days for them. Steve’s been made aware of our plan, and is unhappy about it, as predicted. Otherwise, there have been no significant problems,” Phil reported. “Except for Barton making the mistake of showing Steve the movie _Up_ ,” Phil said, scowling just slightly.

Nick winced. “Yeah, not a good move on Barton’s part. That had to hurt. What was he thinking?”

“I know, I’ll have a word with Barton when this is over. But if this works as planned, we’ll get all the lost Angels back, including Peggy. That should go a long way to mitigating Steve’s temper,” Phil said reassuringly.

“And if Stark and Barnes fail - if this goes wrong, we’ll probably all end up dead anyway,” Nick said, trying to look on the bright side.

“There is that,” Phil replied calmly.

“So, Stark and Barnes. How long has it been for them?” Nick asked cautiously.

Phil looked up from his tablet and smiled. “Let’s just say significantly longer than two days,” Phil said. “I was just about to instruct my Agent to make contact. I should have a detailed report soon,” he added confidently.

Nick sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Yeah, just make sure to tell him to keep both eyes open,” Nick ordered sternly. “We can’t lose track of our end goal here.”

Phil nodded, and made a note on his tablet. “I’ll pass the message along. And Nick, this will work. It’s the only explanation that makes sense,” Phil said reassuringly.

Nick leaned back in the enormous gold chair. “I know, Cheese. I know. I just wish we didn’t have to rely on Stark. You know how I feel about him.”

“Have some faith, Nick,” Phil replied, standing and straightening his cuffs. “Holiday miracles are a specialty of mine.”

“To bad you’re not in charge of Christmas this year then,” Nick grumbled.

Phil just smiled enigmatically as he teleported away.

 

* * *

 

 

TT   325: 03: 51 Days

 

Tony glanced up from where he was sitting at the front of the store. James was finishing up for them in the freezer section. Hopefully, they hadn’t run this store out of coffee ice cream. He’d hate to have to stop somewhere else on the way home.

For all that James didn’t like the cold, at least he was OK in the freezer section. The first time Tony had wandered into one, he’d had a flashback. Tony had never actually shopped for his own groceries before, so he had been unprepared for the smell. Half way down the aisle it hit him. The cold and that faint, damp, just on the verge of mildew scent. It had thrown him right back into that damn cave. The next thing he knew, he was in the baking aisle, propped up on James’s lap with an open bottle of peppermint extract under his nose, James’s voice in his ear.

Tony had loved almost every minute of the last 10 months spent with James. One of the down sides, however, was having to learning to shop, clean and cook for himself. He still couldn’t quite grasp James’s insistence on eating. Not needing to eat was almost as high on Tony’s ‘good things list’ as not needing to sleep. But James really seemed to enjoy it, and Tony would do anything to make James happy, even learn to cook.

While James was busy, Tony swiped over his phone, to the pictures Jarvis had taken.

“So it’s not slowing down at all?” he asked, his mouth pinched with worry. “Even though he’s using his Grace less?”

“I’m sorry to say it is not, Sir,” Jarvis answered in his ear piece. “Photographs taken over the last nine months of Tony Time show an increase in area of 36%. As you’re aware, there has been a similar increase in the number of James’s panic attacks, nightmares, and dissociative episodes. I am sorry, Sir,” Jarvis finished regretfully.

“Yeah, I know, J. Thanks,” Tony said, tapping on his ear piece to close the connection. _‘Jarvis loves James, too,’_ Tony thought.

Checking to make sure James was still busy, he studied the photos, taken whenever Jarvis got a clear shot of James’s back. In bed, in the pool, in the shower. Tony huffed a laugh. The shower. When he’d first arrived, James hadn’t needed to shower. Or wash his clothes or brush his teeth. He had picked up all kinds of human habits in an effort to conserve his Grace. Turns out it hadn’t helped much anyway.

Tony flipped through the photos, watching the spot on James’s shoulder grow, the black tendrils spreading out like a poisonous ink blot.

He slipped his phone in his pocket, and looked at the harried shoppers, frozen in line for the registers. People picking up last minute things on Christmas Eve. None of them looked very happy. Or maybe that was just him.

The last 10 months with James had been the best of his life. He’d actually been thrilled with the idea of doing this, well, forever.

‘ _Turns out forever has an expiration date after all,’_ he thought morosely.

They didn’t talk about it, not really. They didn’t have to. They both knew that if the stain under James’s skin didn’t stop spreading soon, they were going to have to go to the other Angels for help. And this would all be over.

Tony stood as he heard James come around the corner with the shopping cart. He couldn’t help but smile. James was wearing one of Tony’s t-shirts and a leather jacket. The t-shirt was tight across his chest, and he looked edible.

As soon as James was close enough, he grabbed Tony and reeled him in for a kiss. “Hey, babe. Sorry that took me so long,” James said. “There was a recipe on the bag of flour I want to try. Had to go back for white chocolate chips and macadamia nuts.”

“You ready to go then, sweetheart?” Tony asked, reluctant to end the hug.

“Yep, scanned and bagged. Jarvis has got all the info,” James said, nibbling Tony’s ear. “Let’s go home, and I can show you why I bought the can of chocolate whipped cream,” he whispered.

“Oh, you are my little Kinky Soliton aren’t you?” Tony shivered. “Let’s do that.”

James took the cart handle and pushed it out of the store, Tony touching the doors to make them open.

“Wait, did you get me coffee ice cream?” Tony asked as James maneuvered around a woman and toddler blocking the exit.

“Yep, not the brand you like, but it looks OK. Got you some of those pizza bagels you like too. They still had some of the pepperoni ones,” James replied, finally clearing the door and people just outside without hitting anyone. Not that it would matter if he did. They might be able to move objects, but nothing they did had any effect on the people. They might as well have been statues. Of course, that didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy mixing up couples’ hats and scarves when they were bored. Or drawing on peoples faces. What could he say? Some people just looked like they needed a dick on their face.

Tony moved next to James and helped him push the cart over to their ride. Together they unloaded their groceries into the modified sidecar of the motorcycle. It was much easier using the bike to get around all the people and stopped traffic than a car.

James started the bike, and Tony got on behind him, snuggling in. He trailed his hands down James’s abs, before tightening them to hold on. Tony wished he could hold on and never let go.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

TT   326 :00 :00 days

James snuggled into the bed, feeling warm and content. Tony was spooned in behind him, snuffling quietly into his hair. Tony might _say_ he didn’t like to sleep, but you couldn’t prove it by James. Tony loved sleepy cuddles, especially after really great sex.

James sighed in contentment. These last ten months had been almost perfect. They would be perfect, if not for the growing mark on his back. He wasn’t going to think about that if he didn’t have to. He wrinkled his nose. _‘Perfect except for how sticky these sheets are’_ he thought, trying to shift without waking Tony. Maybe he should have thought out the whip cream thing a little better. It had been fun while it lasted, but with unintended consequences. _‘It’s going to be hell getting the chocolate out of these sheets,’_ he thought sleepily. Good thing he’d remembered detergent at the store.

James was suddenly jarred out of his doze. Had there been a noise? Sort of a clattering sound. Maybe one of the bots had knocked something over downstairs. Or maybe Dummy was caught in the press again?

And then James heard it again. It sounded as if it was coming from the living room. _‘Must have must have left the TV on,’_ he thought.

“Jarvis,” he murmured, “turn off the TV.”

“I’m sorry sir, but it is not the television. I am unsure what to do in this situation. It appears we have a visitor on the living room patio,” Jarvis replied.

‘ _A visitor? That was impossible, wasn’t it?’_ James thought, panic surging through him. _‘What if_ they _found a way in? What if he’d been wrong, thinking that they were safe here, and he had put Tony in danger?’_

Tony woke next to him, feeling James’s tension. Tony sat up slowly, reaching gently toward James. “James, baby, you OK? Did you have another nightmare?” he asked quietly.

“There’s something going on,” James said, springing out of bed. He faced the open bedroom door. “Jarvis says we have visitor on the patio,” he said tersely.

Tony’s eyes widened, and without a word he slipped out of bed, fumbling for his pants.

James summoned his blade, and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His hair looked like a bird’s nest, and his eyes were flashing white, not blue. His blade, normally a flaming sword looked more like a flaming dagger. _‘How the mighty have Fallen,’_ he thought derisively.

Then he saw Tony staring at him in the afternoon light, a mixture of awe and lust on his face. Tony didn’t see James as anything less than perfect. And James was damned if he was going to let anyone take Tony from him.

James felt a surge of determination sweep through him, along with something cold and icy. _‘Nothing will be allowed to hurt Tony,’_ he thought dispassionately.

“A visitor?” Tony had put on his pants, and was trying to hand a pair to James. “I thought nothing could get in here,” he said, more curious than frightened.

James ignored the pants Tony was holding, and pushed Tony behind him. “Stay here, let me deal with this,” he said coldly.

He stalked from the room, moving like a predator.

“Yeah, no honey bunny, don’t think so,” Tony said quietly, moving to catch up. The part of James that wasn’t preparing for battle felt dismay at Tony’s lack of self preservation. _‘Idiot,’_ he thought fondly.

James stopped at the end of the hallway, and cautiously peered out into the living room. He tried to shield Tony, who was crowding up behind him, trying to see around him.

James stopped and shivered all over at the sight in front of him. There was a dog on the balcony, pawing at the door and barking. He was missing his left eye. He felt a stabbing pain in his temples as the memories surged in. He was dizzy for a moment, feeling a sudden head rush. _‘How could I have forgotten Lucky?’_ he wondered.

James felt his panic and the cold anger dissipate, and he let the dagger disappear from his hand.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” James said irritably, walking across to the door. As soon as he pulled it open, Lucky bounded in, nails scrabbling on the floor. He started jumping on James, barking in excitement.

James ducked back, hand over his groin. “Hey, hey, hey. Watch the junk, mutt,” he said. Lucky stopped jumping, but he kept pushing with his head, trying to lick James’s hand and arm.

James grabbed the wiggling dog’s head and ruffled his ears. “Look at you, you stupid dog. What the hell are you doing here?” he said gruffly, voice thick.

James knelt and hugged Lucky around the neck, and the dog started licking his face. _‘Either he’s glad to see me, or he just likes the taste of chocolate whipped cream,’_ James thought, laughing out loud.

Behind him, Tony cleared his throat loudly. “James, honey, care to introduce me to your friend?” he asked sweetly. James glanced over. Tony was standing patiently to the side, James’s sweatpants still clenched in one hand.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Tony, this is Lucky. Lucky that’s Tony,” James said, voice rough. He turned back to face Lucky. “But you knew that didn’t you? Didn’t you, you furry monster,” he cooed. He buried his face in Lucky’s fur. How long had it been since he’d seen Lucky? He couldn’t remember.

James heard Tony clear his throat. “Hey ah, Lucky. Nice to meet you?” he said tentatively.

Lucky left off licking James and bound over to Tony. He sat politely at Tony’s feet and extended a paw. Tony reached out and shook it carefully.

James stood up, and crossed over to Tony. Tony looked him up and down and wiggled his eyebrows. “Not that I don’t like you walking around naked, but maybe you want pants for this reunion?” he said, handing the sweat pants to James.

“Yeah, thanks,” James said absently, pulling them on. Lucky meanwhile had started licking Tony’s arm as far up as he could reach while sitting. _‘Definitely the whipped cream,’_ James thought, snorting a laugh.

Tony disengaged from Lucky, wiping his hands on his sweats with a grimace. “So I take it Lucky here isn’t _just_ a dog. Please tell me he’s not a dragon in disguise,” Tony paused, eyes narrowed. “Wait, I thought you said nothing could get into our time sink,” he said flatly.

James felt his heart twist. Tony was upset. _‘Not that I can blame him,’_ James thought sadly. This all had to be so hard for him.

“They can’t,” James replied. “Not without _major_ effort, anyway. Someone used a lot of power to send him here,” James said, glaring at the dog.

Lucky smiled a big doggy grin, tail wagging, tongue lolling, eye squinting in delight. And then he farted. Loudly.

James and Tony both took a step back. James shook his finger at the dog.

“You are such an asshole! You’ve been hanging around Clint too long,” James growled. Lucky didn’t look impressed.

James ran his hand through his hair, and groaned. He’d know that their time here was running out. What he hadn’t counted on was interference from the outside. But he guessed he should have. How much time had passed outside? Almost seven seconds? Time enough for Fury to notice his absence.

Tony reached out and ran his hand up and down James’s arm. “Why don’t we sit down? I’ll make some coffee, and you can explain it,” he said. Tony paused and looked at the dog. “Does Lucky drink coffee?” he asked cautiously.

Lucky barked loudly, grinned and wagged his tail.

“No, hell, no. Do not give this dog coffee. You don’t want to know what happened the last time this asshole got into the coffee,” James said grimly. His memories of Lucky might be new, but he wasn’t going to take any chances _that_ one was false.

Lucky ducked his head and whined.

Tony sighed, and headed for the kitchen. He punched the button on the coffeemaker roughly, his head resting on the upper cabinet. James frowned. He’d hurt Tony without meaning too. He needed to fix this.

James came up behind him, and wound his arm around Tony’s chest, hugging him tight.

“You OK, babe?” James asked quietly.

Tony sighed and leaned back against James. He tipped his head so it rested on James’s shoulder. “Yeah. Just, you know, might have been nice to have heads up. The fact that Angelic Dogs might be dropping by,” Tony said slowly.

“I swear Tony, I didn’t remember anything about Lucky. Not til I saw him. Then it all came back in a rush,” James said earnestly. His arm tightened around Tony. “If I’da remembered, I’da told you. You know that,” he said sadly.

Tony squeezed his arm, then turned around so he was facing James. James inched forward so that Tony was pressed back against the counter. He tipped his chin down and kissed Tony softly.

“I’m really sorry,” James said quietly. One kiss turned into ten, before they eventually pulled apart.

“Yeah, OK,” Tony said. “I believe you. You can’t tell me what you don’t remember,” he whispered. Then he sighed. “So, why don’t you tell me about Lucky here. What makes him so special he needs to crash our party?”

James turned around to look for the dog, but he wasn’t in the kitchen.

“Lucky?” James called. “Where’d you go?”

“I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t wish to interrupt you while you were... occupied. Lucky is now located in the lab. He appeared to have teleport there when you began kissing,” Jarvis informed them. “He is apparently trying to make friends with Dummy.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Umm, OK, I guess. Just let us know if he does anything strange.”

“Of course, Sir, I will be sure to inform you if the teleporting dog does anything... _strange_ ,” Jarvis finished sarcastically. Tony rolled his eyes, but James smiled. He knew what Jarvis was thinking. _Everything_ had been strange since James had crashed their lives.

Tony retrieved his coffee and took a sip, studying James.

James felt a chill and absently rubbed his aching shoulder, thoughts suddenly turning dark. _‘Why does Tony put up with me,’_ he thought bitterly. _‘First me and now Lucky. All I’ve done is complicate his life.’_

Tony moved softly, pushing into his space, and ran his fingers along James’s jaw, tipping his head up from where he’d been staring at the floor.

“Hey, none of that,” Tony whispered. “It can’t be as bad as whatever you’re thinking.”

James couldn’t say anything, still caught in his chill. _‘Maybe Tony would be better off without me,’_ he thought sadly.

Tony sighed, and pulled James into a hug.

“Well, it doesn’t look like the world is ending just yet. And while we obviously need to talk about all this, what say we hit the shower together first? This discussion might go better if we weren’t sticky and covered in dog spit,” Tony purred coyly.

James shook himself, snapping out of his thoughts. Tony always knew what to say. _‘How did I ever live without him?’_ James wondered.

  



	21. Chapter 21

TT 326 :02 :34 Days 

James leaned back against the couch and pulled his damp hair in frustration. Their shower had been fun, and Tony was always a welcome distraction, but now they were back where they’d started. He pulled harder and grimaced. 

Lucky’s arrival seemed to have touched off a wave of new memories. It felt like they were rushing into his swiss cheese brain, trying to drown him. All of the overlapping and conflicting images were threatening to overwhelm him. And the fact that he couldn’t make sense of them was pissing James off. 

Tony scooted closer and took his hand to stop him pulling his hair. “Hey, don’t. Not your fault. Don’t force it. You can’t remember what you can’t remember.” Tony ran a hand through James’s hair, and he closed his eyes for a moment and tried to relax. 

“OK,” Tony continued. “Let’s focus on one thing at a time. Let’s start with your doggy friend.” 

James groaned in frustration. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. _‘Right, let’s do this,’_ he thought. 

“As far as I can remember, Lucky is a unique being,” James said, trying his best to get it right. “He isn’t like the other Angels. The rest of us, Bright and Dark, were created by humanity and the strong emotions they generate. All that focused intent, good or bad, bending the energy of the universe, you know?” James paused while Tony nodded. They’d gone over all of that before. 

“I could be wrong,” James continued, “but I’m pretty sure that Lucky was created by the dogs themselves. He’s the embodiment of the overwhelming love that dogs have for people. So he’s the...” James trailed off, and pinched his nose. He was getting that headache again. It felt like spikes in his temples. 

Tony reached around James’s head and began rubbing his temples. “Do you want to stop? We can talk about this later,” he asked quietly. 

“No, I can do this,” James said firmly. “Lucky works on a different frequency than the rest of us. So maybe it was easier to send him? It would probably take a lot less energy, anyway, to slip him into our time sink. I just don’t know why they’d do it. He didn’t have a note or anything from them. So why? He can’t talk, not really. I mean, he’s only as smart as the smartest dog that ever lived. Which is pretty smart, sure, but...” He shrugged. 

“Maybe the dog _is_ the message. You know, their way of saying they know you’re hiding in here, and they want you to come out,” Tony suggested. “Is there any other way to send a message into someone who’s time stopped? Or out for that matter?” 

“It makes sense there would be, but I don’t remember. Even when I was a full fledged Angel, I don’t think I worked with time sinks much,” James said, sounding unsure. “Plus, I’m sure the Council wouldn’t...” he trailed off. He didn’t want to think about the Council and their involvement with Hydra. _‘Not the time or place,’_ he thought decisively. 

James flopped his head back onto the cushion, and Tony moved over, pressing himself all along James’s side. James put his arm around Tony’s shoulders, hugging him tight. James knew what was coming next, but knowing wasn’t going to make it any easier. 

“You know we’ve both been thinking it,” Tony said quietly. He put his head on James’s shoulder. 

James felt something in his heart twist. “I’m not letting them take you away from me,” he said fiercely. “I don’t care what happens to me, I’m not leaving you.” _‘I will kill anyone who tries,’_ he thought fiercely, shivering. 

Tony sat up and moved so he was in straddling James’s legs and looked him the eyes. “And I’m not going anywhere. If you can’t become human, fine, but where ever they want to take you, they’re taking me too. Anyone tries to separate us, I’ll show them just how dangerous us mere mortals can be,” Tony said, making it a vow. _‘He’d do it to,’_ James thought, imagining Tony facing down Fury on his behalf. James felt a warm wave pass through him, pushing back the cold in his shoulder. 

James ran his hand down Tony’s back and leaned his forehead against Tony’s. “I’m so sorry...” he started, but Tony poked his side. 

“No, not your fault. Whatever that mark is, whatever it’s doing to you, isn’t something you can control. So no apologizing. We agreed,” Tony said firmly. 

James huffed a small laugh. “You know, I’m pretty sure that some of the time I wasn’t even on earth. Steve was with me, and we were somewhere else. If they send me back, are you ready to explore strange new worlds?” James frowned as images flickered through his mind. _‘A rainbow road? And a city of gold spires?’_ he tried to hold on to them, expand on them, but they flickered away. 

He blinked and came back to himself, Tony’s grinning face coming into focus. “As long as I get to be the sexy Captain, then yes, I’m willing to go where no man has gone before,” Tony said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Tony’s smile slowly faded and he slumped, shoulders tight. “So, we need to end the time stop, don’t we? It’s time to get back to the real world,” he said, voice sad, but firm. 

James fought to keep the tears back. He thought about the risks, trying to think of a way around them. Even if there wasn’t a traitor, returning to the Angels ran the risk that they’d delete his memories for his own good. He couldn’t stand the thought of never having known Tony. But the spreading cold and emptiness in his shoulder wasn’t going to stop. And he was sure now that there was also the very real risk he might hurt Tony during one of his flashbacks. 

He’d known this was coming for weeks now. Lucky had just forced him to face it. He nodded, arm tight around Tony. 

“Yeah... I guess we have to end it,” he whispered. He pulled Tony close and pushed his face into Tony’s neck. 

After a moment Tony pulled back, a puzzled look on his face. “So, not to kill the moment, but I gotta ask. Why does Lucky only have one eye?” 

“Hell if I know. Maybe it’s in the same place as my arm,” James deadpanned. 

Tony glared and poked his side again, threatening to tickling him. James laughed weakly, and hugged Tony tighter. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but at least they’d try and face it together. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

TT 327 :04 :17 Days 

Tony ran his hand over James’s back, rubbing the last few remaining burn scars gently. Other than the black mark on James’s shoulder, he’d been able to make all the other scars fade. Tony’d put a lot of willpower into making it so, something even the other Angels hadn’t been able to do. _‘Who’s the Jedi Master now?’_ Tony thought smugly. 

He let his fingers drift over the feather marks on James’s hip, the ones James had asked him to leave. He understood why; sometimes you needed a reminder of what you’d overcome. Of course, Tony enjoyed being able to trace over them with his tongue. Tony traced one now with his finger, making James twitch. Tony smiled. The fact that an Angel was ticklish was just too fun. 

“OK, how do we do this?” Tony asked. “You just wish for it to stop?” 

James stirred, hugging his pillow. He sighed, obviously annoyed at the question. 

“Yeah,” he muttered, “far as I know. The instructions said the Ghost in charge o’ the book just calls an end, or summons another Ghost to take over. Ya know, in case ya think someone could handle the situation better.” 

Tony loved the way James talked after really great sex. Or during actually. For an Angel, James had such a lovely, filthy mind. Tony shivered at the thought. 

“So we’re going to do it? End the stop later today?” James asked, peering up at Tony. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Tony said quietly. “We sort of have to, right?” They’d gone over it again and again, and neither was seeing an out. 

James sighed, and rolled over, reaching up to pull Tony on top of him. “Yeah, we do,” he replied. “But not quite yet.” He pulled Tony down for a kiss, and it felt like fire, all teeth and tongue, even though James’s lips were cold. 

Tony grinned as he came up for air. Not that he needed air. Or a refractory period. Or rest. _‘Just when I got used to using Angel Magic, turns out I have to lose it,’_ he thought sadly. He was going to miss it. But right now, it was still working, and if this was their last ‘day’ of Tony Time, he was going to make it count. He was going to make this so good, James would remember no matter what the other Angels did. 

“OK, so how do we do _this_?” Tony purred. “Let the Master grant your wish, sweetheart.” 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

TT 328 :02: 21 

James wiped his hand on his jeans, more nervous than he could ever remember being. Tony didn’t look in much better shape. Lucky, of course, was still smiling his dopey doggy grin. 

“Yeah, easy for you, furball,” James muttered under his breath. Once the time sink dissolved Lucky’d be going back to Clint’s for pizza and beer. Who knew what was going to happen to him and Tony? 

They’d gathered in the living room, the moment finally having arrived. They weren’t going to put it off any longer. 

“Ready?” James asked Tony. He tried to keep the fear out of his voice, but he wasn’t sure he’d succeeded. 

Tony straightened slightly, posture subtly changing. The look on his face was one that James hadn’t seen since the early days. Tony had just slipped his ‘I’m OK’ mask on. James wondered how he’d ever been fooled by it. 

Tony nodded tightly. “Yep, let’s do this. Fire it up.” 

James exhaled loudly. “I wish to end the time stop,” he stated firmly. 

Nothing changed. James glanced outside, but the pigeons were still stopped. Six seconds further on then they’d been, but still stopped. 

Tony cocked an eyebrow at him. 

“Yeah, yeah,” James said, annoyed. “Let me just try it with the book.” 

He reached inward to summon the book from where it normally rested next to his heart. A quick twist of his will, and it was in his hands. He hadn’t summoned it in, what, ten months? They hadn’t needed it since Tony had gotten so good at using the Force. He was better at it than James was at this point. That thought made him grimace. He was an Angel for cripes sake. But that’s how bad he’d gotten. He’d really put off ending this far too long. 

Book in hand, he tried again. “I wish the time sink to stop.” He looked up, expectantly. 

Nothing. 

“Maybe if you...” Tony started. James cut him off with a glare. 

“The time sink is now ended!” James commanded forcefully. 

Nope, nada. Still stuck. James extended his senses, but the sink was as firm as ever. 

Lucky barked and wagged his tail. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Maybe if you let me try?” he said, subtly reaching for the book. 

James jerked it back, stumbling a little with the force of it. 

“Geez! No, Tony. Don’t touch it. It’s the Book of your Life,” James barked. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever. What’s it going to do? Kill me?... No wait. Is it going to kill me?” he asked, eyeing the book skeptically. 

“No, it won’t kill you. But it wouldn’t be pleasant, that’s for sure,” James answered. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure what the book would do to Tony. He just had a really bad feeling about it. It certainly wasn’t something he wanted to test. 

James sighed and tried again. He commanded the Book as forcefully as he could. Then he ordered, demanded, and straight up threatened. The damn Book ignored every one. 

He looked up at Tony, knowing the worry was showing on his face. Tony looked like he was going to make another suggestion. 

“Let me try one more thing,” James cut him off. Before Tony could respond, he stated loudly, “I summon here and now the Ghost of Christmas Future!” If anyone could get them out of this, it was Natasha. 

Nothing happened. Time was still stuck. Lucky wandered away into the kitchen, and James heard him open the refrigerator. 

James looked over to Tony, eyes wide in panic. 

Tony reached out and gripped his arm firmly. “It’s OK, we’ll figure it out, sweetheart, don’t worry.” 

‘ _Don’t worry,’_ James thought in distress. _‘Don’t worry!’_ He’d gone past worry a few minutes ago. 

Somehow, he’d lost so much power that he couldn’t even make the book obey him. 

They were trapped. 


	22. Chapter 22

  


Tony could see the panic in James’s eyes. He was holding the book in a death grip, his breathing harsh and rough. Tony knew he needed to act fast to head off a full blown anxiety attack. 

“James. Hey, sweetheart,” Tony said firmly. “It’s alright. Nothing bad happened.” 

James looked up at him, blue eyes wide. _‘At least they’re not flashing white,’_ Tony thought. White flashing eyes were never a good sign. 

“Nothing bad?” James snapped. “I can’t end the time sink!” 

“Yeah, and that’s OK. We’re just where we were before. We’ll figure it out,” Tony said calmly. Not that he was feeling calm, but he couldn’t let his own feelings get in the way here. He needed to help James first. 

Tony moved closer, and James disappeared the book, waving it away. He fell into Tony, hugging him tight. 

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” James said, voice muffled by Tony’s neck. 

Tony ran his hand up and down James’s back. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out. You said it yourself. This is your first time as Christmas Ghost. Plus you’re really just a temp, right? I can’t tell you how many projects I don’t get right the first time, and I’m head of R &D.” 

James sighed, tense muscles relaxing. “Yeah. Yeah, OK.” he sighed. “I’m just not sure what happened. That should have worked,” he said, sounding more frustrated than frightened. 

Tony sighed in relief. He knew James had been trapped in a time sink when he’d been captured. This _had_ to be triggering for him. Tony didn’t think he’d be handling it half as well if he found himself trapped in a cave again. 

“It’s probably not you,” Tony said reassuringly. “I know how manuals can get mistranslated. It’s probably just bad instructions. Like Ikea. Let’s sit, and you can read me what it says. Then we'll see if we can figure it out.” 

James leaned back, and scrubbed his hand over his face, pulling himself together. He blew out a breath. “Yeah, thanks. I...” 

James stopped as Lucky came back into the room, carrying the plate of cookies James had made. Well, what was left of them. Instead of the five dozen James had made, the plate now held three. Three whole cookies, and a lot of crumbs. 

Tony narrowed his eyes and frowned. “Nice of you to save us some,” he said sharply. He turned back to James. “You weren’t kidding about the dog.” 

James snorted a laugh and grabbed the plate out of Lucky’s mouth. “Yeah, he’s an ass all right.” Lucky just sat up and wagged his tail, licking crumbs off his muzzle. “Come on,” James said, heading into the kitchen. “Let’s see what else he got into.” 

As he turned to follow, Tony could have sworn the dog winked at him. Tony narrowed his eyes and glared at Lucky before shaking his head and following James. He was starting to think maybe James had underestimated how smart that dog was. If it turned out they were stuck here, he’d have to run some tests. Right now, he had a book to figure out. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 328 :03: 08 Days 

“OK, read the Summoning part again,” Tony said. “I think I see what the problem is.” He ate another spoonful of ice cream and glared at Lucky. Tony had been looking forward to those dried cranberry and white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Lucky didn’t look guilty. Or impressed. _‘I wonder just what powers an Angel Dog has,’_ Tony thought. Probably enough to make trying to punishing him inadvisable. 

James sighed and flipped to the correct page. He read aloud: “Once the subject of the Visitations observes the Christmas Manifestation chosen by the Assigned Spiritual Specialist (Ghost), an assessment must be made by the Specialist of the Target Subjects genuine emotional state (see Chapter 7 for the recommended checklist of culturally relevant emotional cues). If the Subject has not reached the desired emotional state necessary for Redemption, further Manifestations are indicated. If the assigned Specialist deems it necessary, or further Manifestations are desired, repeat the procedure outlined in Chapter 3. If, however, the Subject has had an appropriately significant insight or “epiphany,” the assigned Specialist may either assay another Manifestation to reinforce or supplement the desired emotional outcome, or Summon the next Assigned Spiritual Specialist (Ghost) to guide the subject further toward the final goal of Desired Individual Catharsis. If the subject refuses further Manifestations, or the subjects Spiritual Salvation and Redemption are judged to be impossible, the Assigned Spirit may call an end to the Manifestations. (Form 72-A3/Subject Expiation Failure must be filed within 24 hours.)” 

Tony narrowed his eyes and waved his spoon at the book. “Can I ask who wrote that? Cause I gotta say, the acronyms alone are making me suspicious. The whole thing sounds like it was written as a joke. Not what I expected from something that’s supposed to be a guide book to all things Me.” 

James groaned, eyes skimming the page. “The instructions aren’t part of your Book of Life. They were added to try and help me do this job since I’m new and all. But you’re right. I didn’t recognize it when I first read them, cause, ya know,” James nodded his head from side to side, “my brain was even more screwed up then. But those can’t be the real instructions.” 

“Do you think it was done to screw you over on purpose? I know you’re worried there’s still a traitor for the Evil Council of Evil running around,” Tony asked. 

James shook his head. “No. I mean, I don’t think so? You'd think if they wanted me to fail, they’d have written something even worse. Truthfully, now that I’ve got some of my memories back, these instructions sound like Clint running loose with a thesaurus trying to imitate Phil.” 

James looked up, meeting Tony’s eyes. “So I don’t know. Whether it’s someone out to get me or not, this whole thing is really looking like some kinda set up,”James said, clearly frustrated. 

Now it was James’s turn to glare at the dog. “You wouldn’t know anything about that would you, furball?” he asked sharply. Lucky sat up and waved his feet, begging for more ice cream. James sighed and gave the dog his mostly empty carton of mint chocolate chip. Lucky took off with it, tail wagging. 

“Don’t eat that on the couch!” Tony yelled after him, then shook his head. Who was he kidding? He’d be lucky if the dog didn’t eat it in the bed. 

Tony set his own almost empty carton on the floor for the dog and turned back to James. “OK. What I’m getting from all that, besides the SeX failure, DIC, and ASS jokes,” Tony said rolling his eyes, “is that before you can summon the next Spirit or end this time sink, you need to do at least one Manifestation. Is that what you’re getting, Jarvis?” 

“Yes, Sir. I concur. In each of the examples that James read, a Summoning or Ending cannot be attempted unless preceded by a Manifestation of a past Christmas.” Jarvis threw up a transcription of everything James had read, highlighting the relevant passages. 

Tony sighed. For all that he’d talked about going through with a visit to his Christmases past, he was less than happy with the idea. Especially since he’d had some time to research the family archives. He couldn’t come up with a good Christmas to save his life. And now it looked like he needed to visit one to save James’s. _‘Well, that makes it easy, doesn’t it?’_ he thought. 

“So, looks like we get to visit my past after all,” Tony said, voice cheerful. 

James obviously wasn’t buying it. He frowned and reached across the table to take Tony’s hand, the Book disappearing into thin air. “Tony, no. I can’t ask you to do that. There’s got to be some other way,” he said, concern evident in his voice. He reached up and enlarged the projected transcript, clearly searching for another answer. “I know how much you hated your past Christmases.” 

“Well, yeah, I did,” Tony said calmly. “But I didn’t hate them as much as I’d hate something bad happening to you.” He gently took James’s hand to stop him from searching the document. “Besides,” he continued. “You’ll be there with me. How bad can it be?” 

Tony thought of his very worst Christmas, the one just after his parents died. It had been an alcohol and drug-fueled nightmare. He was still thankful Rhodey had gotten there when he did. Tony hoped they didn’t have to visit that one. Eighties fashion aside, he didn’t want James to see him like that. He shook his head to dispel the thought. _‘If it saves James_ _’s_ _life, it will be worth it. Besides, if that Christmas was the worst, then any of the others will be easy, right?’_ he thought nervously. 

James was still frowning, biting his lower lip. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be Christmas? Maybe we could do an easier holiday? You said you loved Boxing Day,” James asked doubtfully. 

“I’m afraid that the instructions in your book specify Christmas, sir,” Jarvis interjected. “The word ‘Christmas’ appears 108 times in twelve chapters.” Jarvis helpfully highlighted the document. 

James groaned and leaned back in his chair. Tony waved the transcript away and walked around the table. He pushed on James shoulder until he moved away from the table, then sat in his lap. 

“I know you’re worried about me,” Tony said quietly. “But it’s going to be alright. I swear. We’ll take a short trip to my past, then we can go ahead with our plan.” He paused. “Well, except the part where we butter up your boss by feeding him delicious cookies. Because somebody ate them!” he yelled over his shoulder. When Tony turned back, James had stopped frowning and was running his hand through his hair, gently pulling on the ends. 

“Yeah, OK,” James said. “We’ll try it your way. But just one trip! If that doesn’t work, we’ll try something else. Try and get a message out somehow. Put a sign in the window or something.” 

James leaned in to give Tony a kiss. “And the second you want to end it, we end it, right?” James asked, looking serious. 

Tony smirked and waggled his eyebrows. “Yes, honey. I’ll remember my safe word, I promise.” 

James glared, but Tony knew he’d won him over. Tony jumped up, clapping his hands. “Alright, Christmas Past, here we come. Let’s do this!” he said, hoping he sounded excited and not nervous. 

James stood and took his hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it first? We don’t have to rush into this,” James said, voice soft with concern. 

“Nope, nada. Let’s just get this over with,” Tony said firmly. “Besides, if I think about it, it’s only going to be worse. Let’s just rip off the bandaid.” 

James let go of his hand and summoned the Book. James looked at Tony, his face pinched with worry, then bent his head over the Book and closed his eyes. _‘Is he nervous this will work or that it won’t?’_ Tony wondered. 

“Show us Tony Stark’s Happiest Christmas Day!” James told the book firmly. 

Instantly, a soft golden glow spread from the book and enveloped first James, then Tony. The light continued to build, making Tony squint. Tony stared at James, amazed. _‘He really looks like an Angel now,’_ he thought absently. James’s face shone in the light, looking fierce and commanding like something out of legend. His eyes were lit an electric blue, shining steadily. ‘ _Cherenkov Blue,’_ Tony thought, _‘So beautiful.’_

James disappeared the Book, and held out his hand to Tony. “Take my hand, and don’t let go, OK?” 

Tony nodded. He remembered that from the instructions. Although the book hadn’t said what would happen if he did. _‘Better not to find out,’_ Tony thought. The last thing he needed was to get stuck in the past. 

Tony took a deep breath. This had been his idea, after all. Time to suck it up. He looked at James’s face, at the golden halo shining brightly around his head. He reached out and grasped James’s hand firmly. James’s hand was warm, almost hot. Then the world was spinning, and the light grew until he had to close his eyes. 

And then it stopped. He felt James squeeze his hand. He cautiously opened one eye, then the other one. 

“Huh,” Tony said. This was not any of the days he’d been expecting. 

They were in his old bedroom, the one in the villa in Tuscany. And there was his six year old self, working at the desk. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t feed your dog chocolate or coffee ice cream. Lucky can eat them cause he’s special!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: brief mention of past child abuse.

  


Tony felt a pull at his hand, as James tugged him toward Little Tony. Tony sighed and moved with him. 

Little Tony had a train set in pieces spread out in front of him, various tools within reach. There was an assortment of small parts in a box near the edge. A small china plate sat pushed off to the side, empty except for some cookie crumbs. 

Tony looked around, taking in the details. He hadn’t seen this room since he was, what, ten? It brought back memories, that’s for sure. 

“Oh, you are so adorable,” James whispered, studying Little Tony. James was smiling so wide his eyes crinkled. 

“He can’t hear us or see us, right?” Tony whispered. The book had been pretty clear on that. 

“No, no he can’t. We’re just observing,” James said quietly. 

“Then why are you whispering?” Tony whispered, and James rolled his eyes. 

Tony had a sudden thought. The book had said they couldn’t be seen or heard, but could they interact? He reached out with his free hand and tried to touch the desk. His hand passed right through it. He glanced at Little Tony quickly, and then away just as fast. 

“Is this just the Angel version of a hologram? Are we still standing in the kitchen and the Book is projecting this? Is it taking the details from my memory? Because I gotta say the detail is amazing. It even smells like it should,” Tony said quickly, voice shaking. He knew he was babbling, but he couldn’t seem to stop. 

“Tony...” James began, smile fading. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s a projection. Maybe we’re really in the past and we’re just, I don’t know, out of phase or something? Like that episode of Star Trek.” 

Tony snorted. “Yeah, out of phase. Please. If we were ‘out of phase’, we’d fall through the floor. Fall through everything, actually.” He gave a bounce up and down. “See? Solid floor. We’re not ‘out of phase.’” he said irritably. _‘Why am I being such an ass?’_ Tony thought in distress. _‘This isn’t nearly as bad as it could be.’_ He knew exactly what happened this Christmas, and it was actually boring. So why he was so afraid? 

James squeezed Tony’s hand, and pulled him close. Tony wrapped his free arm around James and hung on tight. “Do you need to stop this? Just say the word,” James whispered into Tony’s hair, kissing the top of his head. 

“No, I’m fine. Sorry. Sorry, don’t know why I got so snippy,” Tony murmured into James’s collarbone. He took a deep breath. _‘Get a grip, Stark,’_ he thought. He’d seen himself in pictures, on TV, hell, even holographic displays all his life. He could handle this. 

“Not a problem, sweetheart. We knew this would be hard,” James said, giving him another kiss on the head before he stepped back. 

They stood and watched Little Tony for a while. It was quiet, the only sounds the tick-tack every minute as the little flaps on the desk clock tipped over. Right now, it showed 9:32pm. 

Adult Tony sighed. This was going to take a while. “We might as well get comfortable,” he said to James. James smiled and, still holding hands, they maneuvered so they were sitting on the floor, Tony leaning against James’s side. 

Tony smiled. “I do remember this, you know. As far as Christmases go, this one was pretty good.” 

“I’m glad I didn’t screw this part up, then,” James said, relief in his voice. “You have no idea how relieved I am the Book listened to me this time.” 

“Stop. You haven’t screwed anything up. You just had lousy instructions. Someone was trying to be funny when they should have been helping you. Not your fault at all,” Tony said firmly. _‘James’s friends had a lot to answer for,’_ Tony thought. Once they ended the time stop, he was going to get those answers, that was for damn sure. 

They sat observing Little Tony. He was concentrating hard, tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. He was dressed in pajamas, barefoot, kicking his feet against the chair legs as he worked. Occasionally, they could hear him tunelessly humming in concentration. 

“That train you’re working on, is that one you donated to MIT?” James asked. 

Tony turned, eyes narrowed. “I don’t remember telling you about that,” he said. 

James shrugged, “Yeah, well Jarvis might have shown me some stuff about you,” he said. Tony glared, eyes narrowed. James waved their clasped hands in the air. 

“Nothing embarrassing, I swear. Just, you know, your awards, prizes, things like that. Public stuff. I remember a picture where you got a plaque for donating a bunch of stuff to the MIT train club.” 

Tony sighed. “Yeah, the Tech Model Railroad Club. Those were good times.” Tony leaned back, snuggling into James. “I mostly donated a lot of computer equipment when they moved out of building 20 and into the new space.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’ve still got that train somewhere,” Tony said. Yeah, that wasn’t entirely true. He knew that train, and he knew exactly where it was: in storage at the mansion. He hadn’t thought about it in years, not really. He’d been avoiding it in conjunction with the whole ‘avoid the holidays’ thing. 

Tony could feel James breathing behind him, his hand gripping him firmly. He gradually unwound, relaxing back into James as they watched Little Tony work. 

James eventually sighed, and slouched forward into Tony, resting his chin on Tony’s shoulder. 

“So, what’s wrong with the train? How’d you know how to fix it?” James said softly. 

Tony smiled. “I’m not fixing it, I’m making it better. When I’m done with it, it’s going to have sound, lights, steam, the works. And tomorrow I’m going to finish modifying the hell out of the passenger cars. You won’t just be able to see the people inside, you’ll be able to see them walking around, going from one car to the other. It’s going to be great.” 

James looked impressed. “Wow, how old were you? You look, what, 4?” 

Tony frowned. He nodded to the calendar, which read 1971. “No, I’m six and a half. I was just small for my age.” 

“Was?” James shoved Tony with his shoulder, snorting a laugh through his nose. 

“Oh fuck you, Angel boy. I’ll show you who’s small when we get home,” Tony said, laughing. 

“Ohh, looking forward to it,” James growled, eyebrow raised suggestively. Tony leaned over and kissed him briefly, then settled back using James as a pillow, their hands still firmly clasped. 

They watched Little Tony, each lost in their own thoughts. They both looked up when Little Tony moved, but it was only to go to the bathroom. He came back and got right back to work. Tony’s good mood faded, and he could feel James growing tenser behind him. The clock now said 10:15. 

“So, gotta ask. Where are your parents? Why are you fixing - sorry, _modifying_ \- a toy train on Christmas Day all by yourself?” James asked, finally breaking the silence. 

Tony took a deep breath, and blew it out. “Last year,” he said, “I got a different train set for Christmas. It wasn’t anything special, just a Lionel kit, but it was a gift...” Tony cleared his throat. “It was a gift from Jarvis and Anna, and I spent the summer modifying it so it would be the best train ever. I planned to set it up and run it this year for Boxing Day. I bought extra code 100 flex track, even made a stab at some crap scenery, you know.” Tony paused to run his free hand through his hair. 

“So, anyway,” he continued stiffly, “I was excited, looking forward to setting up my train. And at the last minute, my dad announced we were going to Italy for Christmas. He specifically told Jarvis to leave the train set behind. He said that I was too old to be playing with toys, that if I wanted to work on something, he’d give me something important to do.” 

“Oh, Tony...” James was giving him a look, distressed on his behalf. 

“No, stop,” Tony said. He used his free hand to rub his eyes. “Just stop. This is my happiest Christmas, right?” 

“That’s what it’s supposed to be,” James sounded doubtful. 

“OK. Well. When we got here yesterday, I found that train set in my room, the Rivarossi steam engine. I knew Jarvis had left it for me. And I knew I wanted to fix it like I had the other, but of course I didn’t have a lot of time. So I went down to my dad’s lab, by myself- which I’m not supposed to do- and I got some tools and some parts. I decided I was going to do what _I_ wanted for Christmas this year. So that’s me, trying to fix up the train as best I can, instead of working on my dad’s project,” Tony said firmly. 

And then Tony knew exactly why this Christmas mattered. Why this was the last truly happy Christmas he’d ever had. Because of the consequences he’d faced for those choices. 

Tony realized he’d gone tense all over and had started to grind his teeth. 

James frowned, sensing his distress. “But why are you here alone on Christmas? Where are your parents? Where’s Jarvis?” 

“My parents are at an adults-only Christmas party in Florence. Some socialite friends of my mother’s. They left at noon. They won’t be back until the day after tomorrow,” Tony said easily. 

James was still frowning, starting to look angry. 

Tony turned so he could look at James. “No, I _swear_ , that part is fine. I asked Jarvis to leave me alone after dinner so I could concentrate on fixing the train. I needed to finish before Boxing Day.” Tony sighed and continued softly. “I told you, I learned early on to hate Christmas. Normally, I’d be at one of my parents fancy parties, watching my dad get drunk, my mom making me performing like a wind up toy for the guests. Or spending the day trying not to say or do anything that would upset Howard, not that _that_ was possible,” Tony said bitterly. 

Tony glanced over at Little Tony, then back to James. “I told you I loved Boxing Day, but I never told you why,” Tony said, voice thick. “The truth is, my parents were usually hungover or traveling or whatever. So they’d leave me with Jarvis on Boxing Day. It was...” Tony waved his free arm, “It was fantastic. Anna would play records, and we’d dance. Jarvis would cook, or we’d eat party leftovers. And we’d do presents, bake cookies, play games. It was just normal holiday stuff...” Tony sighed, and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. He cleared his throat, and continued. “But it meant the world to me. I don’t think I ever told them that. How much it meant to me,” Tony finished quietly. 

“I’m sure they knew,” James said quietly. He leaned over to kiss Tony on the side of the head. “I’m sure they knew, sweetheart.” 

Tony sighed and flopped over into James’s lap. “Yeah, I know. I just wish...” he stopped, and sighed again. “Anyway, Jarvis agreed leave me alone to work just until Boxing Day started. At midnight he’s going to knock on that door. He’s going to have my favorite bunny slippers, the ones my dad doesn’t know about. And he’s going to carry me and my train over to the cottage, and we’re going to have Boxing Day. The Best Day of the Year,” Tony finished decisively. _‘The last great Boxing Day ever,’_ he thought sadly. 

James leaned over, and Tony reached up to hug him. “I’m glad you had Jarvis and Anna,” James whispered. “I really am. But you said that _this_ part was fine,” James continued softly, concern in his voice. “Which means there’s a part that wasn’t. So if it’s not being left alone that has you so upset, then what is? Cause I gotta say, you aren’t acting as if this is your happiest Christmas memory.” 

Tony inwardly cringed. He knew why the Book had brought him to this day in particular, but could he tell James? Tony sighed. He’d never shared this with anyone, but this was James, right? He could tell him anything, even the things that were painful. _‘Especially the things that were painful,’_ he thought. _‘Plus, we agreed_ _:_ _no secrets.’_

Tony scooted around so he was facing James. “You have to understand...” he started. He blew a breath out and rubbed his face with his free hand. 

“OK, let’s try this,” Tony said. “The part that wasn’t happy is what comes next. What happens the day after tomorrow when my dad gets back and finds out that instead of working on _his_ project, I defied him. That I broke into his lab. That I stole parts and tools. That I spent my time working on a toy, so I could share it with Jarvis and Anna.” Tony’s stopped to clear his throat. 

“What did your father do? Did he hit you?” James growled. James’s face had grown more angry the more Tony talked. His eyes were sparking white, just a little. 

Tony squeezed James’s hand. “No, that’s... well, yeah, he did hit me, but that was pretty normal. I knew I’d get punished, and I expected that part. It’s the thing that I wasn’t expecting. This here,” Tony waved his free hand to encompass Little Tony happily at work. “This is the final thing that made him decide to send me to boarding school.” 

Tony tipped his head, so James couldn’t see his face. “He said that he’d been trusting me, and that I’d failed. That Jarvis and Anna had obviously spoiled me. And since I couldn’t be trusted to do as I was told, since I lacked discipline, he had no choice but to send me somewhere I’d learn.” 

“Oh, Tony, sweetheart,” James said, trying to pull Tony closer. 

Tony held back, pulling away. “No, he was right. It was my fault. I broke the rules.” 

“Like hell it was your fault, Tony,” James said firmly. “You didn’t know what your father would do. You just wanted your train for Boxing Day. You just wanted to share it with Jarvis and Anna. Your father should have helped you. He should have been proud of you, not punished you. You have to know you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Tony shook his head. He felt the guilt eating his insides, the way it always did when he thought about it. His only reprieve had been that it was December, too late to send him right away. But by next September, everything would be different. No more watching Saturday morning cartoons or afternoon soaps with Anna. No more helping Jarvis wash the car after school. And every Boxing Day after this would be stained with the memory that he’d ruined everything. Because he’d been selfish, trying to show off for Jarvis and Anna with that stupid train. 

Tony groaned, and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. James was gripping his hand tighter now, pulling Tony against his shoulder. He let James pull him over this time, and he pushed his face into James’s neck. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t. 

“It’s OK, sweetheart,” James said, kissing his head. “I love you. I’m right here.” 

Tony huffed and pulled back a bit. “It’s not OK, how can you say that? I fucked up. I always fuck up!” Tony snapped. 

Just then, Little Tony sat up and threw a fist in the air. “Yes!” he yelled. He pushed back the chair and jumped down, stumbling a bit from sitting too long. Then he started dancing, humming to himself. “I did it! I did it!” he sang. 

Little Tony danced right toward them, arms waving. Adult Tony flinched, but Little Tony’s arm passed right through him. _‘I am a ghost in my own life,’_ Tony thought, suddenly feeling desolate. 

James reached up and stroked their joined hands along Tony’s face, turning him toward his younger self. 

“Look,” James said firmly. “Look at yourself. Do you really think he’s fucking up? Do you really think he’s doing anything wrong here? He’s just a little boy trying to make something nice for the people he loves at Christmas.” 

Tony watched as Little Tony stretched and yawned, showing tiny baby teeth with a gap on the bottom where he was missing the two in front. With James’s hand on his face, Tony finally took a long look at his past self. Little Tony with his chubby face and his baby fine hair, some blond still visible, not quite darkened to brunet yet. 

Adult Tony winced. _‘Oh god, how was I ever this young?’_ he thought. 

Tony realized that whenever he remembered this, remembered any of his childhood mistakes, he had judged himself as if he was an adult. His almost eidetic memory had fooled him into reliving all of his childhood mistakes and failures as if they were committed by his adult self. Since he could remember almost every waking moment of his life, he had made the mistake of always thinking he had been an adult. But he hadn’t. The proof was right here. 

Seeing himself so, so young... it made something twist in his chest and twinge behind his eyes. He’d been so small, to be asked to do so much. He looked at Little Tony and he wanted to blame him, the way his father had. But he couldn’t. 

“Look,” James repeated in a whisper. “Can you tell him he’s a fuck up? Can you really blame him for wanting a happy Boxing Day? Can you tell that little boy you hate him for what he’s doing? And if you can’t, _if you can’t_ , then why are you doing it to yourself now?” 

Tony’s breath caught on a sob. James was right. He’d been a child. _None_ of what had followed had been his fault. 

And it didn’t stop with his ‘failure’ this Christmas. He’d internalized all of it, hadn’t he? All his life, he’d taken every criticism to heart. From his father, from Obie, from the board. 

He’d blamed himself and hated himself for it, all this time. _‘My father lied,’_ Tony thought, suddenly giddy. _‘Making mistakes doesn’t make you a failure. Making one wrong choice doesn’t make you a screw-up.’_

Tony suddenly and clearly heard a silver voice in his mind. _‘Don’t you deserve to love and forgive yourself, no matter what age you are?’_ it pealed. He didn’t know if it was James, or the Book, or hell, if he was speaking to himself. But the thought resonated through him, making him tremble. 

Tony fell forward, letting James catch him. He laughed, hearing how rough his voice was. He just sat then, breathing hard and letting James take his weight. _‘I forgot how much epiphanies suck,’_ he thought. James tightened his grip, rubbing his thumb over Tony’s knuckles. 

It was Little Tony who broke the mood. “Crap, it’s almost midnight.” He ran to the desk and climbed up to kneel on the seat of the chair. He carefully picked up each piece of the train set and placed it back in the box. 

He was wiggling in excitement. “I did it, I did it, I did it!” he chanted. “Boxing Day Train! Boxing Day Train! Woo-woo!” he sang. 

Little Tony jumped down and started dancing, spinning in circles and laughing. 

James snorted, “Oh, that is too cute. You know, you still do that when you finish a project,” he teased. His voice was rough, too. 

Tony started to reply, when there was a knock on the door. 

“Just a second, Jarvis!” Little Tony called. 

Just then the clock flip-flapped over to midnight, and everything flared white. Tony yelped in surprise and squinted his eyes against the light. 

When he opened them, they were back sitting on the floor of the penthouse kitchen. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The MIT train club is real, and Tony would certainly have been a member: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tech_Model_Railroad_Club


	24. Chapter 24

 

James collapsed backward, pulling Tony down with him. They lay for a moment on the kitchen floor just breathing.

“Are you OK?” James asked, pulling his hand lose so he could throw his arm around Tony. Tony didn’t answer right away. He just wiggled his fingers between their chests, trying to work them out.

James felt his heart twist painfully. He didn’t know what possessed him to say those things to Tony during the Visitation. No one wants their flaws exposed like that or to be lectured on what they should do with their lives. He’d just felt so compelled to say it, to demand that Tony learn to forgive himself, as if it was just that easy. But the words had just poured out, and he couldn’t seem to stop them.

James thumped his head backward onto the kitchen floor. _‘Was this what being a Christmas Ghost entailed? No wonder no one wanted this stupid job.’_

Of course, it was one thing to show a stranger a painful childhood memory. But to force it on someone you love? James felt his stomach twist in knots. No one wants to share _that_ much of themselves. _‘This is so not good,’_ James thought miserably. _‘Tony’s going to hate me now.’_

Tony sighed on top of him, face still pressed into James’s chest. “Yeah, I’m fine,” Tony said quietly. Tony lifted his head so James could see his face. Tony didn’t look angry, but his eyes were red, tear tracks drying on his face. James hummed doubtfully. ‘Fine’ was obviously not the word Tony should be using here.

“OK, maybe not fine,” Tony acquiesced. “But I will be. It’s just, ah, a lot to take in. That tricksy Book of yours is tricksy. It might have been my ‘Happiest Christmas,’ but only by a technicality.” Tony rolled his face back into James’s shirt, trying to wipe the tear tracks away.

James looked at the ceiling so he didn’t have to see the distress he’d caused. He had no idea how to fix it. _‘This certainly wasn’t covered in that damn Book,’_ he thought, frustrated.

“I had no idea that was going to happen. I am so sorry,” James said remorsefully.

“Hey, well, Visitation accomplished. With bonus epiphany. As long as it gets the job done and we can get out of here, I won’t complain,” Tony replied.

James frowned. It sounded like Tony wanted to pretend nothing had happened. That couldn’t be good. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.

Tony sighed and sat up, straddling him. He put both hands on James’s shoulders.

“I know I should. Talk about it, I mean. But I think maybe I need some time to process it,” Tony said. “Epiphany, you know. But hey, I’ve had those before. The one after Afghanistan only took me a six months to process. I’m sure this one will go faster.” Tony tried to give one of his carefree ‘I’m OK’ grins, but failed.

James felt terrible, and it must have shown. Tony leaned forward, concern on his face.

“Hey, are you OK?” Tony asked. “Are you hurt?”

James snorted. _‘We’re quite the pair aren’t we?’_ he thought fondly, feeling momentarily stupid for assuming Tony would be angry. _‘Tony always worries more about me, even when he should be worried about himself.’_

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just starting to regret the fact I couldn’t take the job as Cupid instead. Shooting arrows at idiots in love seems a lot less stressful than this job as Holiday Ghost,” James said, relaxing a bit.

“Wait, _already_ in love?” Tony asked, brow arching. “Then what’s the point?”

“Yeah, people always get that wrong. True Love’s Arrow helps people who are already in love find the courage to overcome whatever obstacles they’re facing. Gives them a spiritual boost,” James replied. “Of course, you need to be able to actually draw a bow, so...” James nodded to his missing arm, giving Tony a small grin.

Tony smacked his hand gently into James’s right shoulder. “You stop that. You could have been a great Cupid. Just cause you can’t use a bow, doesn’t mean you couldn’t sneak up on people and stab them instead,” Tony said, grinning widely.

James started laughing, even though it wasn’t that funny. It just felt so good to be back home, to know Tony wasn’t angry, that he hadn’t fucked this up more than it already was.

Tony lay down again, resting his head on James’s chest.

Tony propped his chin on James’s sternum, and wiggled his eyebrows. “Not that I’m not enjoying this position, but what say we-” he started, but was interrupted by the sounds of nails on the floor.

Lucky came charging into the kitchen, overjoyed to see them on the floor. He started dancing around them, play bowing and licking their faces.

Tony threw up an arm to fend him off. “Stop! Stop, you idiot,” he commanded. All it got him was a doggie french kiss.

Tony sputtered, trying to wipe his tongue on his teeth. “Arghh, I’ve been kissed by a dog!” he mumbled, glaring.

James threw his head back and laughed. Tony gave him a dirty look, then levered himself up and held out a hand for James.

“I was going to say I’m going to need to wash my face before we get going, but now I think I need to go disinfect my, well, everything,” Tony said, wiping his hands down his shirt.

“I’m pretty sure Angel dogs don’t have germs,” James said, face carefully neutral. Tony scowled, not buying it for a second. He jabbed his fingers into James’s ribs, right where he knew James was ticklish. James twisted away, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, I used to think I was missing out by not having a dog as a kid,” Tony said, glaring at Lucky. “Now I’m not so sure.” Lucky just wagged his tail and bumped his head into Tony’s hand. Tony rolled his eyes, but gave in and petted him anyway.

James pulled Tony in a hug, holding him tight against his chest. “I know you said you don’t want to talk about it now. And that’s fine. I’ll listen whenever you’re ready. But I just want you to know, I think you’re amazing,” James said quietly, kissing Tony’s temple. _‘I can’t believe he did all that for me,’_ James thought. He really hoped Tony would be OK with what he had seen, once he’d had time to think about it. He deserved to think better of himself.

Tony sighed and hugged James back. “Right back at you, Angel Face,” he said. “I think you’re pretty amazing yourself,” Tony said.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TT 328 :06 :41 Days

Tony hummed and snuggled closer as James ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. _‘This is nice,’_ Tony thought, content. After the Visitation, they’d both needed a break.

“You know,” Tony said quietly, “I’m really glad you were with me, in the past.”

“I’m glad I could be there for you,” James murmured. “But I’m still sorry you had to go through that.”

Tony pulled back a little. “You know, I can see why the Visitations are so effective. Why the Ghosts use them. I mean, you hear it all the time, right? ‘Oh, you should just forgive yourself,’ or ‘the past is in the past.’ Yeah, whatever. But it’s another thing to be there, to actually see yourself as you used to be. Gives it a whole new perspective.”

“You’re doing OK though, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be OK. As long as I’ve got you.”

Tony sighed and curled back into James. Tomorrow, they’d try to end the time stop again. But right now, he had this.

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TT 328 :13: 10 Days

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I cannot be sure,” Jarvis said. “The readings are inconclusive.”

“Play it one more time, Jarvis,” Tony said, studying the screen, eyes narrowed.

Tony looked over, distracted from the screen as James came out of the bedroom closet, zipping up his black hoodie, the left sleeve folded and neatly pinned. It was the one James wore when he needed to be comfortable. Tony could sympathize. They were both nervous. _‘Too bad we can’t go to restaurants,’_ Tony thought for the millionth time. _‘I’d kill for some pork dumplings right about now.’_

James came up behind him and looped his arm around Tony from behind. He rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder. “What are we watching?” he asked.

Tony turned his head for a kiss, just feeling happy to have this. On second thought, who needed pork dumplings when he could have James?

Tony smiled and turned back to the screen. “I was just having Jarvis run the surveillance footage from the kitchen. I wanted to see if we actually disappeared, or if it was just some sort of projection.”

“Run it again, Jarvis,” he repeated.

They watched the footage together. It showed them standing in the kitchen. James summoned the Book. There was the light and the blue glow of James’s eyes. They grasped hands, and the light from the Book built, flashing for just a moment. Then it disappeared and they were sitting on the floor.

“Replay in slow motion, J,” Tony said.

There was the bright flash, obscuring the camera for a few frames. When it cleared, they were sitting on the floor.

“So what do you think? Did we actually go back or was it just a projection in our minds?” James said, frowning as he studied the footage Jarvis replayed in a loop.

“Don’t know,” Tony replied, distracted. He pulled up the readings Jarvis had taken. Jarvis was right. Nothing conclusive. If he had to guess, he’d say they never left the kitchen.

“Ah, well. It doesn’t really matter,” Tony said finally. “I was just curious.” He swiped away the video and turned to James.

“Are you sure you want to do this today?” Tony asked. “We can wait a little longer, if you need a break.”

James frowned in thought. “I’m OK. Are you just saying that cause _you_ need a break? Cause it’s OK if you do. You went through a lot yesterday.”

Tony thought about it. He’d learned a lot about himself during that Visitation, and for once he could genuinely say it was a good thing. He felt lighter, somehow. He knew he still had a lot to think about. Look over old memories in a new light. Just not, you know, right now. Now was for getting James some help.

Jarvis had pinged him on his phone while James was changing shirts. That little stunt into Tony’s childhood had jumped the size of the black spot on James’s back by another 3%. Tony would have time to figure his shit out later, once they got James back to the other Angels and stopped that thing.

“No, I’m fine, I swear,” Tony said sincerely. He threw in a bit of puppy dog eyes. “We made a plan, and we should stick to it. Stop this time sink, talk to your boss, find out if we can help you without all that memory-erasing bullshit. Get the Angels to apply their Grace to the problem.” Tony took a breath and hoped he looked as calm as he was trying to sound. Because he was anything but calm.

James smiled, but it was weak. “It got bigger didn’t it?” he asked quietly.

Tony internally swore at himself. He hadn’t wanted James to worry any more than he already was, despite the ‘no secrets’ rule. Turns out he was shit at hiding things from James, even if he’d wanted to.

Tony blew out a breath. “Yeah, little bit,” he said, pinching his fingers together.

James shrugged, and burrowed his head down a little into his hoodie. “Yeah, OK. I thought so. I can feel it,” he said muttered. “You’re right, let’s do this, get it over with,” he said more firmly. He moved to summon the Book, and Tony started.

“Wait!” he called. James looked startled, but stopped. Tony grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. Tony threw everything he had into it, trying to make it count. James responded just as enthusiastically, and when they pulled apart slightly, they were both breathing hard.

“For luck,” Tony said, grinning as he ran his tongue across James’s lower lip.

“As long as it’s not just something to remember me by,” James replied, taking a deep breath.

“Never,” Tony whispered, pulling him close. “We’ll fix this, you’ll see. We’ve got a lot more Christmases yet to come.” Tony closed his eyes. _‘Let us have forever,’_ Tony thought fiercely. _‘We deserve_ every _Christmas.’_ If he hadn’t been an atheist, it would have sounded like a prayer.

James stepped back, biting his lower lip. He didn’t say anything as he summoned the Book.

James closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

He opened his eyes, and stated firmly and clearly, “I command the time sink to end!”

Tony looked around, but they were still in the bedroom. All he could see out the window was some snow, but it didn’t look like it was moving.

James’s eyes widened. “The time stop is ended!” he tried, obviously a little scared.

“James, hey,” Tony started. “It’s OK...”

“It’s not OK! How can you say that?” James barked, eyes going wide. He was waving the Book, as if he could shake some sense into it. _‘Maybe he needs to hit it with something,’_ Tony thought, trying to stay calm.

“Goddamn fucking Book! This whole thing has been fucked from the beginning!” James shouted.

Lucky must have heard them, because he came charging into the room, barking at James. He jumped up, paws thudding into James’s chest as his muzzle flipped sideways, under James's arm.

The force of it threw James back, and the Book flew out of his hand.

Straight at Tony. Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed it before it could hit the floor.

James stumbled backward a step before he could catch his balance, a look of worry growing across his face.

Tony studied the Book in his hand. It looked like a book. But it didn’t feel like a book. In fact it felt like a...

Instantly, the Book in his hand changed into a tablet. The newest StarkTab, the one due out next year.

‘ _Huh,’_ Tony thought. He could feel it in his hand, sleek and smooth. It somehow felt powerful. No, _he_ felt powerful.

“Tony, sweetheart, give me back the Book,” he heard James say softly. Or maybe he was far away. He sounded far away.

Tony ran his finger over the screen, and the tablet lit up with a welcome screen. He heard a silvery voice:

          _'Authorized Primary User Recognized: Anthony Edward Stark'_

         _'Welcome, Tony! How may I help you today?'_

“Huh,” Tony said. The tablet’s background was set to some boring mountain scene. It would be better if it was...

Instantly the background changed into a shirtless photo of James. _‘This is so great,’_ Tony thought. He could feel his brain start to drool at the promise of new technology.

“Tony, give me the Book,” someone said.

Tony swiped past the welcome to a set of files and narrowed his eyes. The first folder on the desktop was labeled ‘Angelic Information: Classified.’ Opening it brought up ‘Bright Angels: Current Division’ and ‘Dark Angels: Current Division.’

Well, that was strange, wasn’t it? This Book was supposed to be about him. What was that doing on there?

Tony thought he felt something tug on his arm, but he didn’t have time for that right now. He shrugged his arm, and the tugging stopped. He pinched the Bright folder and threw it into the air, the same way he would if he was down in the lab.

The folder opened and the display spread out in the air all around him. It _was_ about the Angels. Hanging in the air was a dossier on each of them. They were all listed. He quickly picked out a few familiar names. He waved his hand to bring them closer and expanded the view.

  * The Angel of Justice: Current Name: Steven Grant Rogers
  * The Angel of Victory: Current Name: Nicholas J. Fury
  * The Angel of Perseverance: Current Name: Clinton Francis Barton



A photo appeared next to each name with short videos playing underneath, showing the angels in action. _‘Wow, James wasn’t kidding,’_ he thought. _‘I have never_ _seen a more attractive group of people.’_ Even Fury, in a dangerous ‘I’ll kill you’ kind of way, what with that sweeping black coat. Of course, none of them were as beautiful as James. _‘Oh hey, James was saying something,’_ he thought, momentarily distracted.

“Hey, James, you were right...” Tony turned to look for James and stopped cold.

James was crouched down on the floor, back against the wall. There was a large dent above him, as if he’d been thrown there with some force.

He was shaking, holding his hand out in front of him, as if to ward off a blow.

James was staring at Tony. His eyes were wide, and he looked terrified.

As if he was seeing a Ghost.

 


	25. Chapter 25

  


James couldn’t take his eyes off the Book in Tony’s hand. 

He’d been carrying it all this time. Carrying it inside of himself. He’d thought it was the Book of Tony’s life. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t that _at all_. It was the Book of the _Angels’_ lives. It held a small piece of every Angel in existence. The council had used it to remake them, change them. It was one of the most powerful artifacts in existence, and Tony was holding it in his bare hands. Worse, he was using it. He was accessing it, pulling on its power. He had barely shrugged, and James had gone flying into the wall. 

James crouched against the wall, breath coming faster. _‘But that wasn’t possible was it? Human’s can’t hold the Book, can they?’_ he thought. 

A fierce pain shot through James temple. _‘Zola’_ the name echoed through his brain. _‘Zola was human, and he had the Book. For all those years, Zola had_ _used_ _the Book. Used the Book on me...’_

He felt the pain in his temples again, but it was distant, swallowed by the rush of memories. Memories of ice, of fire, of Zola and the Red Skull. 

James threw back his head and screamed. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony froze, stunned by the look on James’s face. He had never seen anyone look more terrified. _‘Is he afraid of me?’_ he thought. Then he saw what James’s eyes were locked on: the Book. 

It was James’s scream that broke Tony out of his shock. It was short, brutal, and cut off just as quickly as James’s head fell forward. 

Without thinking of how he was doing it, Tony wished the Book away. He felt it go, moving out of his hand and into his chest. It was a strange feeling but he ignored it, focusing on James. 

“James, can you hear me?” Tony asked, trying to keep his voice steady. 

“Sir!” Jarvis called out. “I am detecting a localized but extreme drop in temperature.” 

Tony didn’t need to be told. He could feel it. And he could see it. That here-and-gone again phantom arm. James was using it to reach behind himself where he was crouched, the phantom arm more solid than it had ever been. The fingers were digging into the wall, crumbling the drywall as if it were sand. Ice began crawling up the wall from those phantom fingers, and hoar frost began to spread down James’s chest and up his neck. Ice began to crystallize on his face and in his hair. 

Tony took a step forward. He had to stop this. “James,” he called loudly, his breath misting in the air. “James, you...” 

James’s head snapped up, and he opened his eyes. This time they weren’t glowing white or blue. This time they were flat black, like looking into an abyss. 

‘ _Shit, fuck, what do I do?’_ Tony thought, fear for James rushing through him. 

Tony tried to step closer, to find a way to help, but he was cut off. Lucky darted in front of him, growling and pressing Tony back before charging over to James. He jumped on James’s right side, licking his face and barking. 

James swung his phantom arm at the dog, and Tony flinched. 

Lucky teleported before the arm could connect, making James overbalance and fall forward. Before he could sit up, Lucky was on his back, licking the back of his neck, and pulling on his hair. 

James threw his left arm behind him, trying to knock Lucky off. _‘Oh god,’_ Tony thought. _‘Don’t hit the dog.’_ Tony didn’t know how he knew, but he was sure that arm could kill. 

“James, stop!” Tony yelled. “You’re with me! You’re safe!” 

James instantly stilled. Lucky teleported off of him, back to Tony’s side. 

James levered himself up, then slowly got to his feet. The phantom limb flickered in and out before disappearing entirely. 

He focused those flat, dead eyes on Tony. “What are my orders?” he said tonelessly. 

Tony flinched. James was obviously trapped in the worst flashback in the history of flashbacks. _‘What do I do?’_ he thought desperately. _‘Orders. He said he wanted orders.’_

“Your orders are to come back to me. Can you do that, James? Can you come back from where you are?” Tony asked, hearing his voice shake. 

“From where I am?” James asked in confusion. He blinked hard, then twice more, and his eyes flickered back to normal. 

“You’re in New York, with me,” Tony said stepping forward. “You’re in the Tower, and it’s Christmas Eve.” 

James tipped his chin down, and the ice slid away from his face. He looked up, expression lost. 

“Tony?” he whispered. 

Tony stepped forward, and gripped James’s arm firmly. 

“Yeah, I’m right here,” Tony said quietly. “Right here, babe. Not going anywhere.” 

James looked relieved, just for a moment. Then he slumped over, going boneless. 

Tony caught him as he fell, and eased him down onto the floor. 

Tony knelt beside him, and felt a stab of panic. _‘No, no, no...’_ he thought. His fingers felt for James’s pulse, and he blew out a breath in relief when he found it. He had never been so glad that Angels kept their human habits, even after they Ascended. Feeling James’s pulse and seeing his chest rise and fall was everything he’d ever wanted. 

Tony let himself collapse sideways, sitting on the floor next to James. Lucky came up on his left, pushed his head under Tony’s arm, and whined. 

Tony found himself hugging the dog, pulling him tight. Lucky allowed it and licked his chin. 

“Oh, shit, shit, shit!” Tony breathed into Lucky’ fur. “What the fuck was that!?” 

Tony could feel the Book, pulsing in his chest. He could feel the power, like a rush through his blood. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. 

He needed more information. A lot of it. But not right now. Right now, he needed to take care of James. 

Tony reached over, and brushed his hand through James’s hair, pushing it back off his face. It was wet, and James’s face was cold. Tony frowned. He needed to do something about that. 

“Towels, I need some towels...” he said, moving to stand up. 

Lucky disappeared, then returned with a bath towel clutched in his mouth. 

Tony took it gently. “Thanks,” he said quietly. _‘I guess I can forgive him for the cookies now,’_ he thought. Tony snorted, and he couldn’t be sure whether he was laughing or crying. 

Tony managed to get James out of his wet clothes, wincing when he saw James’s back. He didn’t need Jarvis to see that the black web was bigger. Whatever that flashback had been, it had done a number on the dark spot. 

“J?” Tony asked quietly. 

“Now holding at 47%” Jarvis replied, just as softly. 

Using the Force, Tony lifted James into his arms, carried him to the bed, and gently tucked him in. 

Lucky grabbed James’s wet clothes off the floor and teleported. 

“The dog is putting the clothes into the dryer, Sir,” Jarvis informed him a moment later. 

“Of course he is,” Tony muttered. He blew out a breath and sagged down to sit next to James. He ran his hand through James’s hair and took a deep breath. 

Whatever was going on, Tony could handle it. He’d handled Afghanistan and the Ten Rings. He’d figure out a way to save James if it was the last thing he did. 

Tony glared at the black tendrils spreading all the way across James’s back and edging up his neck. Since Jarvis couldn’t scan James, all of Tony’s usual methods were useless. _‘If I could just see what the black spot_ is _, maybe I could find a way to fix this,’_ he thought angrily, not for the first time. 

A grid display suddenly appeared over James, and a heads-up display flashed in front of Tony’s eyes. He jerked backward, startled. 

“ _Type of reading desired?”_ the silvery voice from before asked inside his head. 

Tony’s eyes widened. _‘Well, that makes sense I guess? An angel device to scan an_ _angel,’_ he thought. 

“Ah, Book? What kind of readings can you give me?” he asked. A long list began scrolling in the corner of the display. Some of them made sense, like electromagnetic, x-ray, and electrostatic. Hell, even ‘Time Distortion.’ But what in the hell were ‘Grace Field’ or ‘Wave Source Attribute?’ 

“What can you give me to scan that black spot?” Tony asked. The grid was instantly replaced by what looked like some sort of thermal scan. James was glowing a soft gold color, except where the black tendrils were. They muted the gold, twinning into and through James like a fungus. But there was something in the center of the black spot, something shiny… 

“Zoom in,” Tony ordered. The scan complied, zooming into the center of the black spot. Tony could swear there was something there. “Can you magnify that?” he asked. Whatever it was, it was tiny. 

The Book complied, and Tony found himself staring. It looked like... “Jarvis, can you see what I’m seeing?” he asked. 

“No, Sir. I don’t believe so,” Jarvis said. “From your conversation and actions I assumed you were interacting with the Book.” Jarvis paused, then added “It might also interest you to know your eyes are glowing.” 

Tony glanced at the mirror. Yep, blue glowing eyes. 

“Yeah. Yes, I’m interacting with the Book. It seems to have some sort of programming. Not sure how much yet,” Tony said. He refocused on the scan. He tried to sweep in, using his usual hand gesture, but the Book didn’t respond. He needed his usual displays. He needed Jarvis for this. 

“Magnify it again, Book,” Tony requested. He squinted at the object in James’s shoulder as the view became clear. 

“Is that a piece of ice?” he muttered out loud. He traced his hand over the mark, as if he could feel it under James’s skin. He knew he couldn’t. He’d run his hands over James’s skin often enough to know. 

“Negative,” the Book said. “Object detected is a piece of the Cimmerian Crystal.” 

Tony slapped his hand over his face. “Oh, sure. Why the hell not?” he said irritably. Teleporting dogs, Angels, Ghosts. Why not add dark crystals to the mix? 

‘ _What’s next? Presents with shrunken heads inside?’_ he thought slightly hysterically. _‘This has to be the most screwed up day of my life. At least it probably can’t get any worse.’_

James stirred under his hand, shifting slightly. He didn’t wake up, but he looked more at ease. Tony sighed. Now was not the time. Right now what he needed was information. He needed to know more if he was going to solve this. And for that he had to use the Book taking up space next to his heart. 

Tony bent down and kissed James on the temple. He knew he couldn’t access the Book here. If James woke up and saw the Book again, or saw Tony’s eyes glowing... _‘Yeah, no. Not a good idea,’_ he thought. But he hated the idea of leaving James alone. Even with Jarvis to watch over him, it was the last thing he wanted to do. 

“Jarvis, can you ask Lucky to come here?” he called softly. 

Lucky teleported in, his one good eye snapping first to James, then over to Tony quizzically. 

“I need to go to the lab, can you stay here and keep an eye on him?” Tony whispered, nodding to James. 

Lucky jumped onto the bed and wormed his way under James’s arm. He grinned at Tony and thumped his tail. 

Tony shook his head. “Yeah, alright. But Angel dogs better not shed.” 

Lucky just huffed and closed his eye. 

“Jarvis, let me know the second he starts to wake up,” Tony said softly. He kissed James again and ran his hand over Lucky’s head. 

“Thanks,” Tony muttered, then headed down to the lab. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 328 :15: 19 Days 

  


“I’m sorry, no such file exists,” the Book said. 

Tony groaned in frustration and glanced up at the screen keeping an eye on James. Still asleep, curled around the dog. 

Tony ran his free hand through his hair and glared at the Tablet. He squinted at it, and then tried another tack. 

“OK, let me see a list of all the Bright Angels. List them by Attribute first, then name. Include latest photo or image.” 

The display shifted. Tony scanned through the list quickly. He still couldn’t find James anywhere. 

He had asked for James’s recent records first, assuming the other Angels had kept track of his recovery and treatment. But there had been nothing. Next, he figured he’d find James’s official Angel file to see how he’d changed. But nope, nada. The Book told him there was no such file. He thought maybe he could search by Attribute, but that wasn’t working either. James couldn’t remember what his attribute had been. And although Tony could make some guesses, nothing matched James’s name or photo. 

It seemed James wasn’t listed in the Book at all. 

Tony scrolled through the list again. Most of the Bright Angels were stamped with a bright red ‘Missing’ logo, but they were still listed. 

That brought up another question. How could you lose Angels? _‘What the hell kind of operation is that Fury guy running?’_ Tony thought, suddenly feeling very tired. 

Tony thumped his head on the table. Every inquiry brought more questions. He kept his head on the table as he dragged one of the files labeled ‘Missing’ closer. He flicked it open, but nothing happened. 

“Access Denied,” the Book said again. “You do not have sufficient clearance.” 

“God damn it,” Tony growled. He needed to know what was going on. First it had denied him access to the file on the ‘Cimmerian Crystal,’ and now this. 

“If I may offer a suggestion?” Jarvis said. 

“Sure J, hit me,” Tony sighed. It wasn’t like he was getting anywhere. 

“Perhaps I might have better luck?” Jarvis said. “I can see the Book while it is in its tablet form. If we can find a way for me to connect, I may be able to open the restricted files.” 

Tony opened his mouth and then closed it. “Huh,” he said. He sat up, his brain whirling through the possibilities. He tipped the tablet up, and yep, there was a port on the side. Just as if it was a regular StarkTab. Jarvis would have no problem cracking the files if this was a regular tablet. But it wasn’t. It was an Angel artifact of some sort, pretending to be a tablet just because that’s what Tony wanted. _‘What if it infects J with some sort of Angel virus?’_ he thought. 

“That’s an interesting idea, but let’s hold off on that a second, J,” Tony said. 

“Dummy, bring me that old laptop,” he called over his shoulder. “The one Pepper asked me to fix, but I never bothered cause I got her a new one. You know the one.” 

A few minutes later, he was plugging the Book into the laptop. 

Tony slumped. The laptop wasn’t seeing anything to connect to. A few minutes work was all he needed to tell him it wasn’t going to work. Well, it had been worth a try. He unplugged the Book and leaned back. 

He hadn’t wanted to do this, but... 

“Book, give me a list, Name/Attribute and Photo. For the entire Dark Angel Folder,” he said cautiously. He was positive James wasn’t here. He just needed to be sure. Once again, he scrolled through the list. It seemed a lot of the Dark Angels were also missing. Not as many as the Bright, but still. Had there been some sort of Angel apocalypse? _‘Was that what James couldn’t remember? Did he survive some sort of Angel Armageddon?’_ he thought. 

“Ugh,” Tony said, grimacing at the images. Now here was an ugly group of individuals. They all seemed inhuman in some way, whether they had scales, or giant square heads and tiny arms, or were dripping slime. _‘Well, shit, are those actual tentacles?’_

Of course, maybe he should have expected that from a bunch made up of fear, terror, hated, anger, and all that. 

Tony skimmed through the list quickly. He was near the end when the image registered. 

He jerked and jammed his finger down to stop the scroll. He’d asked for the entire file this time, and under the Angels was a list with the heading ‘recent known associates.’ 

And there was James, but looking nothing like his James. 

Right above Zola, Arnim (deceased) and below Karpov, Vassily (deceased). 

He wasn’t listed by name, his file just labeled ‘The Winter Soldier.’ 

And next to it, in bright red letters the words ‘Pending/Inactive.’ 

Tony looked again to be sure. It _was_ James, though, looking worse than he ever had, even in the midst of his flashback. His phantom arm was solid, covered in a heavy rime of silver ice. He was dressed in black armor, the joints edged in either silver or ice. And he was wearing some sort of spiked iron crown. It looked like the spikes of the crown were digging into his temples. Even so, his face was as blank as a doll, his eyes showing nothing. Eyes that were as flat and black as any shark. 

Tony winced and reach out to touch the file. 

“Access Denied, you do not have sufficient clearance.” 

“God damn it!” Tony shouted. He grabbed the Book and tried to throw it across the room. 

Of course it stuck to his hand. _‘Fucker,’_ he thought viciously. _‘I don’t know if this is your fault, Book, or Fury’s, but who ever locked these files is a goddamn, son-of-a-bitch asshole, and when I find them I’m going to kick their ass!’_

Tony dropped back into his seat, breathing hard. The Book had closed all the files when he’d tried to throw it. He was glad. He didn’t need to see that image of James. It was going to be burned into his memory forever. 

“OK, Jarvis,” he said. “Let’s try it your way.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 328 :18: 15 Days 

  


“And you’re sure you’ve partitioned off...” Tony started. 

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis said. Tony could almost hear the huff in it. “I have partitioned off my main memory. I have instituted a full backup. In addition, my regular hourly backup was performed just before we entered the time dilation field. If worst comes to worst, all I will lose is my time spent here in ‘Tony Time.’ However, even if that were the case, I have saved all the visual recordings and digital logs for that time. So, while losing 10 months of memory might be severe, I would not lose myself, or what has happened.” 

Tony wiped his hands on his jeans. He hated this. It was one thing to risk himself. He couldn’t stand risking his friends like this. But Jarvis had made his decision. The least Tony could do was honor it. 

“OK, OK, I get it,” Tony said. “Ready?” he asked, taking a deep breath. 

He slotted the plug into the Book. 

“Jarvis? Buddy? You OK?” Tony asked, quickly. 

“Yes, Sir, if you will give me a moment...” Jarvis trailed off. 

Tony held his breath, hands hovering over the Book in case he needed to pull the plug. 

“I have made contact with the Book,” Jarvis said crisply. “It seems to be an AI of some sort, although not one with which I am familiar. It is not attempting to stop me, or interfere, but it’s systems are unlike anything I have encountered before. I do not know if I can access its files. This may take me some time, Sir.” 

“And you’re OK?” Tony asked, leaning back. 

“Yes, Sir. You do not need to worry,” Jarvis replied. “I believe the Book and I can come to an understanding.” 

Tony sighed in relief. At least something was finally going right today. 

He looked up to check on James in the monitor. James was still sound asleep, curled up around where Lucky had been. Lucky was no longer in the bed. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. Did Angel dogs need to go walkies? Or was he raiding the fridge again? 

There was a muffled bark right behind him. Tony startled and spun the chair around. 

“Not funny!” he said, waving his finger at the dog. He narrowed his eyes. Was that his phone? 

Lucky sat and waved his foot, Tony’s phone between his teeth. Tony reached back and felt his pocket. He could have sworn he’d had that earlier. 

“Thanks. Yeah, you found my phone. You didn’t have to bring it to me right away. It’s not like I need it down here. Aren’t you supposed to be with James?” Tony said, reaching to pull the phone from Lucky’s mouth. _‘Yuck, more dog spit,’_ he thought as he wiped it on his leg. 

The phone vibrated in his hand, and a song blared from the speakers. _‘What was that song?’_ he wondered. It sounded familiar. _‘Stupid dog must of messed up my settings.’_

Tony turned the phone over and stared at the screen. 

‘Incoming Call/Unknown Number’ it said. 

He shook the phone and squinted. He felt his brain grind to a halt. The song blared again, and the phone vibrated. 

Lucky grinned at him and wagged his tail. He spun around and charged over to Dummy to say ‘hello’ before teleporting away again. Presumably back to James. Tony couldn’t say. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of the phone in his hand. 

The phone rang again. 

Tony knew this was all his fault. He’d cursed himself when he’d said this day couldn’t get any stranger. 

He swiped his finger across the screen and held the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?” he said tentatively. If this was Lucky playing a joke he was going to kill him, Angel dog or not. 

“Mr. Stark,” a female voice said crisply. “I think it’s time we talk.” 

  



	26. Chapter 26

  


“Hello?” Stark repeated. 

His voice still sounded tentative. _‘Can’t blame him for that,’_ Natasha thought, smiling. Even though _she_ could almost never be surprised, she did so love surprising everyone else. She could practically hear Stark wondering who the hell she was. _‘Life is all about enjoying the little things,’_ she thought smugly. 

“Yes, Mr. Stark. This is Natasha Romanova. I’m not sure if Bucky has mentioned me, but I’m a colleague of his,” she said, aiming for cool and professional, knowing it wouldn’t put Tony at ease at all. Quite the opposite. 

She could hear him groan before he collected himself. “Yes, Ms. Romanova. James has mentioned you. How nice to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he replied, in a ‘I’m in charge of this meeting’ voice. She had to give him kudos. Even when surprised, he always recovered quickly. It was probably his best feature. 

“Well, as I said, I think it’s time we spoke. Perhaps we could meet for coffee?” Natasha said cooly. 

“Ah, as I’m sure you’re aware, my options for ‘going out’ are kinda limited right now,” Tony replied after a beat. 

“That’s quite all right. I can come to you. Say, your living room in 15 minutes?” 

“Sure, my living room in 15 minutes. Is that my minutes or yours?” Tony asked. Natasha knew if she concentrated, she could peer in and see his face, but she didn’t need to. She knew exactly what he must be feeling. She could hear the suspicion in his tone. 

“Oh, yours of course, Mr. Stark. Fifteen minutes of ‘Tony Time,’” Natasha said. She didn’t try to keep the brag out of her tone. A pissed off Stark was much more likely to do what they needed. 

“Of course,” Tony said flatly. “I’ll see you there.” 

Stark ended the call, and she turned off her phone. 

“Well, I think that went very well, don’t you?” she asked Lucky. Lucky just wagged his tail, and Natasha stroked his ears. 

“Now that he has the Book we can get some work done,” she told him fondly. For his first real assignment as an Agent, Lucky really was doing a marvelous job. Of course, she had known he would. Sometimes knowing the answers to everything was a good thing. 

She flicked her hand and changed her outfit once again. Something that looked like it was meant to put Stark at ease, but being obvious about it. He was too good at reading people. He’d be even more suspicious. Which is just where she needed him to be. 

Natasha took a deep breath. _‘Now the real work starts,’_ she thought. _‘Time to bring this home and wrap it up in a bow.’_

She smiled to herself and reached for the TV. 

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony ended the call and leaned back in his chair. ‘Well, there’s that,” he said out loud. 

“Jarvis, could you get anything from the call?” he asked. 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “I could trace neither the call, nor a signal generating it.” 

“But you could hear her, right?” 

“Yes, Sir. I have recorded the call if you wish to hear it again.” 

“No, that’s OK.” 

Tony snorted and rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

‘ _Doesn’t a time-stop mean anything anymore? I mean really. First dogs, and now phone calls,’_ he thought. Although, what did it say about his life that the teleporting dog had startled him less than the ringing phone? Of course, in his defense he hadn’t heard a phone ring in over ten months. 

‘ _So, Natasha. And Romanova, not Romanov. Interesting. Did she change it or did James remember it wrong?’_ he thought. _‘And why the professional tone?’_ Once again, he felt like he was being played. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. What did it mean that Lucky had brought him the phone but not taken it to James? Or the fact that this Natasha hadn’t asked after James at all? Wasn’t she worried about him? 

And now she was going to ‘drop by’ for a visit. If she was serious, James had certainly overestimated the security of their time sink. _‘Although, James couldn’t remember what kind of Angel Natasha is,’_ he thought. _‘Maybe she’s special like Lucky? She sounds smug enough, maybe she’s the Angel of Cats.’_

Tony narrowed his eyes. Maybe this was some sort of trick. Was she going to try to get them to end the time stop? If so, she was out of luck. James had failed to end it, and even thought he had the Book, Tony wasn’t ready to try. _‘But it can’t hurt to hear her out, can it? James said she was a friend,’_ he thought. 

He glanced at the monitor to see James still sleeping, Lucky at his side. Should he wake James? He would want to see his friend. But what if it was James she wanted to talk about? Maybe Tony should talk to her first. Tony grimaced. Once again, too many questions, so few answers. 

‘ _So, visitors,’_ he thought. _‘Better go make myself presentable.’_

Tony looked at the Book on the table, looking like any other tablet. 

“You, you stay here and work with Jarvis,” he ordered it. 

The Book didn’t say anything, but it didn’t try and follow him either. 

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony took a last quick look around the living room. He’d hastily waved all the clutter behind the bar or into the storage drawers. A glance in the mirror showed him he could use some work himself. A quick application of the Force and he was clean and pressed. He narrowed his eyes at the mess Lucky had left on the couch. The dog had chewed up the ice cream cartons, and there were sticky pieces everywhere. He used the Force to clean that up, too. _‘Who said pet ownership was hard?’_ He snorted to himself at the thought. 

He rubbed his hands, and looked at the TonyTime™ clock projected on the wall. TT 328 days :18 hours :37 minutes. Right on time. He looked around, wondering how Natasha was going to get into his living room. Just teleport in with a flash of light? Or maybe she’d arrive in a cat drawn chariot? 

What happened was the TV turned on. Tony narrowed his eyes. _‘Yeah, I think I’ve seen this movie,’_ he thought warily. 

Sure enough, a woman appeared on the screen. Tony didn’t recognize her. She hadn’t been listed in any of the Angel files. She was petite, with long curly, dark red hair. She was sitting on a ratty couch, dressed too casually for the tone she’d been using earlier - wearing an ugly green Christmas sweater, black leggings and fleece slippers. 

And Lucky was sitting right beside her, wagging his tail and grinning. 

Tony glanced over to the screen he was using to monitor James. Nope, Lucky was still there, snoring away. And yet, there he was, one eye and all. 

‘ _Wait...’_ Tony thought. He brought his hand up and covered his left eye. Then he covered the other one. Nope, the Lucky on the TV was missing his right eye. The Lucky with James was missing his left. _‘Of course the easy answer is two separate dogs. But since we’re dealing with Angels...’_

“Huh,” Tony said. “Let me guess. Schrödinger had the right idea, but the wrong pet?” 

Natasha gave a small smile. “Lucky is special isn’t he? Quantum leaps beyond most dogs,” she said, ruffling Lucky’s ears. “As long as he ends up in the same place at the same time, we should be alright. His name _is_ Lucky Charmed, after all.” Natasha looked back at Tony. “It was Clint’s idea.” She rolled her eyes and gestured over her shoulder. 

Tony shook his head. _‘It’s not bad enough Angels violate the laws of physics, now they’re making physics puns, too?’_ Tony thought sadly. 

As she gestured, Natasha moved her head, and Tony could see past her and into a small galley kitchen. There were two people frozen in mid motion, taking a pizza out of the oven. Or two Angels, rather, because he recognized them from their files in the Book - James’s friends Steve and Clint. 

“So, they’re stuck in normal time, but you’re not?” Tony asked. “Is that your doing, or is it Lucky’s?” 

“Oh, no, Mr. Stark. You’ll find I’m very special, too.” She give a tiny, almost there smile. It wasn’t reassuring. 

Tony cleared his throat. “So, not that this isn’t fascinating. Because it is, trust me. I’ve learned more about Angel Physics in the last hour than I have in the last, ah, few months,” Tony said, “but I don’t think you called to talk about the dog.” 

“No, of course not. But we did say coffee, didn’t we?” she said sweetly. She stood up , and patted the dog on the head. “You have your assignment,” she told Lucky firmly. And then she proceeded to climb through the TV screen. 

Tony took a step back. Natasha moved smoothly, pulling herself from one room into the other as if it were a window. Tony shuddered, even though he’d been half expecting it. It was nothing like the girl in that Ring movie. It was more terrifying. 

Once she cleared the screen, Natasha brushed her hands down her sweater to smooth it out. She snapped her fingers, and the TV shut off. 

She held out her hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Stark. Lucky’s had some nice things to say about you,” she said firmly. She tipped her head and smiled. 

Tony shook her hand. It felt real enough. 

“Nice to meet you, too. Lucky didn’t mention you at all. Sorry,” Tony replied, irritated. 

Natasha looked Tony up and down and smiled wider, but it didn’t reach her eyes. ‘ _Yeah, not buying it,’_ Tony thought. _‘She’s going to have to try harder than that.’_

Tony gave her one of his board room smiles in return, already annoyed with her. Here it was again, that ‘I’m better than you’ Angel attitude. He remembered how much he’d resented that when James first arrived. Of course, James had dropped it almost immediately. Tony didn’t think he’d have the same luck here. 

Natasha didn’t say anything, just moved past him into the kitchen. “Oh, a cappuccino machine!” she exclaimed. “Thank goodness. Clint makes the worst coffee.” She opened the cupboard and grabbed a bag of beans. “Nice,” she muttered. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Make yourself at home,” he said loudly. 

Natasha glanced over to the screen showing James. “Keep your voice down. You wouldn’t want to wake him, would you?” 

Now Tony was getting really mad. Damn Angels, barging into his life, telling him what he should be doing. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared. 

“Why, is this meeting supposed to be secret?” he snapped. 

“No, not necessarily. I just thought you might have some questions about James I could help you with before he woke up,” she replied smoothly. 

“Yeah, no. James and I don’t keep secrets from each other,” Tony said flatly. Natasha lifted an eyebrow and ran the coffee grinder. Tony frowned. Had that been some sort of test? 

Natasha ignored him, concentrating on the coffee. She handed him a cup before turning to make one of her own. Tony took a sip. At least she made an excellent cappuccino. 

Tony studied Natasha as she worked. _‘She’s a hard one to read,’_ Tony thought resentfully. _‘On the other hand...’_ he thought suddenly, _‘maybe I didn’t need to read her, maybe I need to_ _read_ _her.’_ He had an Angel scanning Book, didn’t he? Maybe he could use it as some sort of lie detector, look past what was clearly a facade. Plus, he could get a look at what a ‘healthy’ Angel was supposed to look like. 

Tony opened his mind to the Book and pulled up his Angel Vision. 

He immediately regretted it. 

The heads-up display was throwing multiple scans: Electromagnetic, Time Distortion, X-Ray, Gamma, all of them overlapping. Red warning lights were flashing everywhere, and he could hear a high pitched whine, like an alarm, echoing through his head. 

Tony grunted at the impact of all the sensory overload. He tried to dial it back , and get the Book under control, but it almost felt like the Book was afraid. _‘No, terrified,’_ he amended to himself. 

Tony squinted, trying to make out what he was seeing. One of the scans caught and held his eye. _‘Holy shit, is that Hawking Radiation?!’_ he thought, trying to absorb what the scans were telling him. 

Realization hit his brain like a hammer. Tony choked, eyes wide. He didn’t feel the cup fall from his hands, but he felt the hot coffee as it splashed him on the way down. He heard the cup shatter, but it was distant. 

If James was an Angel, Natasha Romanova was something very, very different. It was as if someone had taken a singularity and given it human form. If Natasha was real, if this was true, then he should be dead. _‘Hell, not just me, the whole fucking planet...’_ he felt his brain stutter. 

‘ _There’s a Naked Singularity in my kitchen drinking cappuccino,’_ he thought wildly. It was the single most terrifying thing he’d ever seen, and he’d faced down death in Afghanistan. 

Natasha looked at him and quirked her lip. She set her cup on the counter and stalked toward him. 

“Sir!” Jarvis called a warning. 

Tony didn’t need it. He stepped back and flattened himself against the counter. _‘Oh, James is going to be so pissed,’_ he thought. _‘All the stupid shit I’ve done, and I end up getting killed in my own kitchen.’_

Natasha stopped in front of him. She bent over gracefully and put her hand on the broken pieces of his cup. They pulled together in an instant. If he hadn’t been watching it with his Angel Vision, Tony wouldn’t have seen it. She hadn’t used the Force to mend the cup the way he would have. She had just _rewound_ time around the cup, pulling the cup backward until it was whole. He watched as the coffee filled the cup, leaving the floor and his jeans dry. 

Natasha held the cup out to him and smirked. 

“You know, I would have thought you old enough to know it’s considered very rude to undress someone with your eyes, Mr. Stark,” she said, amusement in her voice. 

Tony closed his eyes and banished the Angel Vision. He sagged a bit in relief as the alarm cut out and all the visual input vanished. 

“What are you?” he croaked. He cracked open an eye. Natasha had set down his cup on the counter next to him. She’d retreated and was sipping from hers. 

“Why, I’m as human as you are Mr. Stark. Or I was,” she replied flatly, “until I found myself mixed up in the affairs of Angels.” 

Tony narrowed his eyes. Was that a warning? It had certainly sounded like it. Was she trying to warn him to stay away from James? Because it was a little late for that. 

‘ _Good luck with that,’_ he thought sarcastically. The flash of anger he felt at the idea served to clear his head. He’d been dealing with the idea of Angels for months. He could deal with this. 

He cleared his throat. “So, loop quantum gravity, or spin foam?” he asked, voice even. 

“Why Mr. Stark, that’s a very personal question,” she replied, and sipped her coffee. “I think we should be better acquainted before I can answer a thing like that.” 

Tony could hear the humor in her tone. He breathed a sigh of relief. _‘Looks like I’m not dead yet. Holy shit, I have so many questions though,’_ he thought. 

He smiled at Natasha and reached for his cup. Before he could grab it, he heard Lucky bark, and Jarvis said ‘Sir, James is -” 

Before Jarvis could finish the sentence, Tony spun and took a step for the bedroom. _‘James... I need to be there. I can’t let him wake up alone...”_ he thought. He felt the connection to the Book snap into place. The world spun and the next step he took was into the bedroom. 

He took two more steps before he caught his balance and what he’d just done registered. _‘Holy fucking shit! I just teleported!’_ he thought. _‘Since when can I teleport?!’_

Tony skidded to a stop. James was sitting up in bed, the sheets pooled in his lap. Lucky was sitting next to him, head tilted to the side. They were both staring at him. 

“Ah, hey, babe. How are you feeling?” Tony asked cautiously. 

“Fine,” James replied slowly. “I think. I’m not sure what happened. The last couple hours seem to be a blank. Maybe you can fill me in. And while you’re at it, maybe you can explain why you can teleport?” James’s voice had gained in strength and volume. “And why your eyes are _glowing blue_?” 

Tony raised a hand, unsure where to start, trying to think fast, when James’s eyes went wide.

“I remember... you grabbed the Book,” James said, voice raspy. “You grabbed it, but it wasn’t the Book of your Life. It’s the _Book of The Angels_. The Book of _every_ Angel’s life!” James continued hoarsely. “Tony! You have to give it back! You can’t keep using it! Please tell me you can stop using it,” he pleaded. 

Tony sat on the edge of the bed next to James. He blinked his eyes hard and tried to disconnect from the Book. He relaxed when he felt the connection dissolve. He reached out to touch James, but James flinched away. Tony felt his heart fall. _‘Oh, fuck. What have I done?’_ he thought. _‘Now James is afraid of me.’_

His distress must have shown, because James leaned in and gripped his arm firmly. “Sorry. Sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to do that. Just reflex, I guess. That Book and I got a real bad history together,” he said. “What I can remember of it, anyway.” 

Tony sighed. How could he explain this? James was obviously terrified of the Book, but Tony couldn’t just give it back. He knew it held the answers he’d been looking for all this time. Somewhere in that Book was a way to heal James. He could _feel_ it. 

“Look, James, honey,” Tony said quietly. “I know you’re worried. But so far, the Book and I are getting along pretty well. I’ve got Jarvis inside taking a look right now-” 

“You have Jarvis _in_ the Book?!” James exclaimed. He pulled his legs up, swung around Tony and jumped out of bed. He started pacing up and down, running his hand through his hair. “How long was I out?” he said, glancing at the clock. “A couple of hours? And you’ve already got Jarvis inside one of the most powerful artifacts in existence? Why? Why would you...” He continued pacing and muttering to himself. Every few seconds, he would dissolve into a string of curses. 

Tony blew out a sigh of relief. James wasn’t afraid of him, he was afraid _for_ him. He’d reacted the same way a few months ago when Tony had started testing his new arc-powered repulsor gauntlets. Tony smiled. James had overreacted then too. Really, he’d only blown himself up a little - nothing the Force couldn’t fix. _‘Such a worrywart,’_ Tony thought fondly. 

Tony lay back in the bed, and admired the view. James was still naked, and watching him prowl back and forth waving his arm was really doing it for Tony. 

‘ _Mmmm, so sexy. And all mine,’_ he thought. He couldn’t help it. This was so much better than what he’d been expecting after that massive flashback. He knew they had a lot to talk about, but for now, just for now, he was going to enjoy the moment. 

After a minute or so, James wound down, and looked over to Tony. Tony looked back. And leered. 

“Oh, no. No,” James scolded. “You aren’t going to distract me. We need to talk about this. Where are my clothes?” 

“Your clothes are in the dryer, sir,” Jarvis said. “I have taken the liberty of restarting it so that they will be warm for you.” 

James sighed. “Thanks, Jarvis. You’re a real pal,” he said. 

James turned and strode out of the bedroom. Tony leaned over to watch him as long as possible. _‘Love to watch him go...’_ he thought. 

Tony started when he heard James yell. 

“Fuck! What the Hell!” Tony heard. Then a softer, “Natasha?!” 

“Why James, how nice to see you,” Natasha purred. “It’s been far too long.” 

Tony closed his eyes and fell backward into the bed. He knew he’d forgotten something. In his defense, the view had been _very_ distracting. _‘Oops?’_ he thought. 

Lucky blew out a breath and took the opportunity to lay down across him, his elbows digging into Tony’s ribs. 

Tony opened his eyes and looked at the impossible dog. 

“I guess I’m in the dog house tonight, huh?” he said. 

Lucky groaned and dug his elbows in harder. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Note: Thanks again to [cyanide-to-the-masses](http://cyanide-to-the-masses.tumblr.com) for betaing chapters 1-26. They were a huge help and this story would not be the same without their cheerleading and suggestions.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank my new Beta **colordrifter** for stepping in to help me out. She deserves all the credit for correcting my terrible grammar and egregious over use of commas. 
> 
> You can find her on tumblr at [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com/)

  


TT 328 :19 :25 Days 

Natasha leaned back against the kitchen counter. James and Stark were in the bedroom, talking about her. She could have listened in of course, but she didn’t feel the need. Right now she had to reassess everything she had Seen since she’d first stepped through the television and into this sealed time sink. 

Because somehow, those two idiots had managed to up-end every carefully laid plan, every contingency, and every scheme made by men and Angels over the last century. 

_‘This is a disaster, a total disaster. Why the hell did I think it would be a good idea to put the Angel of Death and the Merchant of Death in the same room with each other?’_ she thought harshly. 

She knew the answer, of course. It may have been Phil’s _plan_ , but she was the one who had subtly nudged everyone in this direction. The signs had been clear, though. Every thread she could trace led here. If she put Stark and Barnes together, here and now on this day, everything would finally be resolved. James would be saved, the lost Angels found. 

She took a deep breath, and considered her options. Maybe it wasn’t a lost cause. After all, she could only See the colors of the future, not the exact details. 

The original plan had been easy, even elegant. Tony Stark was dying and trying to make up for everything he’d done in his lifetime. What better plan than to have him sacrifice himself to remove the crystal from a dying Angel? What better Redemption could there be for the Merchant of Death than to save every life on earth? 

But NO, not only was _he_ not dying any more, neither was James. They’d fixed Tony’s heart, stabilized James’s Grace, and somehow, some way were in the process of re-ordering the _entire_ fabric of the universe. 

A few moments ago, Natasha had seen Stark teleport just as well as any Angel, using Grace borrowed from the Book. And the look she’d had of James earlier confirmed that they’d miraculously erased his scars. _‘At least Barnes hasn’t lost his ambivalent attitude toward clothes,’_ she smirked. 

The smile dropped off her face as she considered the photos she’d seen scattered around the penthouse. Instead of being trapped in this time sink, Tony and James had found a way to leave the Tower and traipse around New York. Judging from all the selfies, it looked like they’d even gone skiing upstate. 

_‘It’s just not possible,’_ Natasha thought. If she didn’t have so much control over herself, she’d be grinding her teeth. 

She closed her eyes and Peered into the future once more. It was even more chaotic than when she’d first arrived in the penthouse. The colors that had been so clear earlier were now a jumbled mess. Everything was in flux, in chaos. She couldn’t find a single thread _to_ trace. 

Oh, and look! The idiot twins had even managed to add an entirely new color into the flow of probabilities. Not just a new variable, oh no. Something extraordinary had been added to the universe itself. A pearlescent metallic sheen, a color never before seen in the tapestry of life. It was still faint, barely visible even to her eye. But it was growing quickly. She had no idea what it meant, but experience told her change on this scale was usually a very bad thing. 

She’d never been this surprised in, well, ever. Not since she’d been Reborn. She mentally kicked herself, trying to order her thoughts. 

First things first. The fact that James’s remaining Grace was now stabilized was the most immediate threat. She would need to do something about that as soon as possible. James had been a match even for her while he’d been the Winter Soldier. With that crystal shard still in place, it was only a matter of time before he was pulled back into what Hydra had made him. _‘It’s a risk, but from the look of it one I’ll have to take. At the stage he’s at, anything could tip him over,’_ she decided. 

Even so, the fact that James was still _himself_ after over 300 days was astounding. Stark had accomplished more in ten months than the Angels had in ten decades. _‘No wonder Fury was worried about him,’_ she thought irritated. 

She hated the fact she’d underestimated Stark. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. But in her defense, the colors of his life up until this point _had_ been perfectly clear. He really had been just another damaged, narcissistic playboy looking for meaning at the end of his life. She’d stake her reputation on it. Somehow, James had changed all that. It was something even she hadn’t Seen coming. 

The other thing she hadn’t Seen was the fact that Time in this sink was passing much more quickly here than she’d anticipated. She was sure it hadn’t been set up that way and she had no idea what had changed it. 

Of course that didn’t explain why Lucky had waited ten months to signal her. He had been told to alert her once they had completed a Visitation, as soon as Stark was alone. Clint had warned her about relying on Lucky and now she was going to have to listen to his ‘I told you so’s.’ But what else was she supposed to do? Lucky was the only one who could literally be in two places at once. 

Still, it wasn’t hopeless. They _were_ still in a time sink. As long as it held, she had time. _‘Although that new color is concerning. Best not to wait too long.’_

She let go of her anger and irritation, calm seeping in. She was Natalia Romanova. She was practically Queen of the Universe. She could do this. 

She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, stretched, and cracked her neck. It was time to get to work, redo the plan on the fly, and figure out how to save the world - again. The earth was her home and she was going to save it, damn it. 

_‘And when this is over, Fury’s definitely going to owe me a raise,’ s_ he thought dryly. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 328: 21: 33 Days 

“So can you think of anything else?” Tony asked, jotting a note onto the tablet. 

“No, don’t think so. That should cover it, right?” James replied. He leaned over a little more to read the tablet in Tony’s hands. Since they were sitting up in bed, it put him between Tony and the tablet. Tony dropped a kiss on to the back of his head. 

“You know she’s not going to answer most of these questions, right?” James said, sitting back. “She can’t talk about what she Sees.” 

“Right, I know, you said that before,” Tony leaned back against the headboard and scratched his chin. “But is it the ‘we don’t talk about fight club’ rule or is it the ‘if you talk about the future you’ve already changed it rule?’” 

James leaned back and snuggled into Tony’s shoulder. He took the tablet out of Tony’s hands and scrolled through the list of questions they were planning on asking Nat. 

James hummed in thought. “You know, I still don’t remember that much about her. But when it comes to getting answers, for some reason I want to go with both. Both is good.” He smirked at Tony, who rolled his eyes and took the tablet back. 

“No, seriously though, I think it’s mostly the second and a little of the first. I remember once when she got in an argument with Steve. Stevie’s always trying to get her to give him info and she’s always cryptic,” James said thoughtfully. “But somehow Clint and Phil always seem to know what she means.” 

“Yeah, OK, ixnay on the future. But what about past events? Do you think she’ll talk about those, even if it’s in a ‘nudge, nudge, wink wink, say no more’ way? We really need to find out why they sent you,” Tony said, distracted. He made another note on the tablet. 

When James didn’t answer Tony looked up. James gaze was caught on the hole in the drywall, the one he’d made during his flashback. Tony had gotten rid of the debris, but the hole was still there. 

“Hey, hey, sweetheart,” Tony said, touching James arm lightly. “Not your fault. Flashbacks happen. No one got hurt.” 

James snorted, but turned back to face Tony. “Yeah, but they’re happening to me more and more,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “And this one was different. I’ve never lost that much time before. It’s still a blank. And let’s not mention the arm you said I suddenly manifested. What was that about? And why can’t we use the Force to fix the hole in the wall? That’s never happened before either!” he said, voice rising. 

Tony ran his hands up and down James’s arm and side. “I know, James, I know. It was scary. I was scared too, not going to lie. And you’re still scared. And that’s OK. It’s normal. But your friend is here now, the one you said has all the answers. To everything apparently,” Tony said calmly. 

James sighed, trying to relax. “Yeah, well, that just brings us back to the fact that it’s Natalia were dealing with. Getting answers from her...” James trailed off and waved his hand. 

“Yeah, well, I have faith. I think that between the two of us, we can do it. I’ll annoy her, you’ll charm her, and hopefully we can get some answers.” Tony paused and took James’s hand. “Just remember to hang on to me if it all goes to hell, OK?” James nodded; he knew the plan. 

“So. Ready?” Tony asked. He looked at James and smiled. 

James smiled back and leaned in to give him a kiss. “Yep, let’s do this. We shouldn’t keep the lady waiting any longer.” 

They both looked over to where Lucky was laying across the foot of the bed. 

“You ready, furball?” James asked him. 

Lucky thumped his tail and grinned. 

“All right then. Let’s do this,” Tony said. 

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  


They entered the living room together, holding hands. Neither of them was sure what Natasha was going to do, but they wanted to present a united front 

Natasha didn’t even look up when they walked in. She’d changed her clothes. The ugly sweater was gone, replaced by a plain white dress shirt and black pants. Even her hair was different. Instead of being in dark red curls, it was lighter and perfectly straight, cut just above her shoulders. She looked like she was ready to rap their knuckles with a ruler. 

She was in the arm chair, reading from one of the tablets Tony was always leaving around. There was a cup of coffee balanced on the arm of the chair and extra cups, a carafe and a plate of cookies were on the coffee table. 

Lucky went racing past them and sat next to Natasha, glancing between her and the cookies. She ignored him. 

She paused to close out of whatever she’d been reading and finally looked up at them. “James, Mr. Stark,” she said, smiling politely. “How nice of you to finally join me.” 

James glanced over at the clock and winced. Planning had taken longer than he’d thought. _‘Yeah, over two hours is probably too long to keep anyone waiting, let alone Natasha,’_ he thought. 

“Hey, Nat,” James said, giving her a little shrug. “Good to see you - again. Ah, sorry about making you wait.” 

Beside him Tony snorted. “Yeah, _not_ sorry, just for the record,” he said firmly. 

They sat on the couch across from Natasha. James winced as pain spiked into his temple. Seeing Natasha was triggering the same pain in his temples that seeing Lucky had, only this time it seemed ten times worse. Tony squeezed his hand once and James squeezed back twice. He’d been waiting almost eleven months for answers. He couldn’t stop now. 

Tony leaned forward and looked at the cookies. 

_“Please_ tell me you baked while we were in the bedroom. Because those look an awful lot like the cookies that Lucky ate the other day. And I’d rather not eat any ‘time rewind’ pre-eaten cookies. Or would that be un-eaten? De-eaten? Cause, eww, gross.” 

James flinched when Tony said ‘time rewind.’ _‘But she wouldn’t do that, would she? It’s too dangerous... Something about space time, and paradoxes?’_

“Relax, James. We’re in a closed time sink here. It wouldn’t matter if I pulled some cookies from the past.” Natasha said cooly. “Besides, maybe I got them from before Lucky ate them.” 

“I’m pretty sure I hate when you do that, Nat,” James said flatly. “Tell me what I’m going to say before I say it.” 

Natasha just gave a small smile in reply before turning to Tony. 

“You really do have excellent coffee, Mr. Stark. Would either of you like some?” she asked. 

“No, I don’t like coffee much,” James replied, shaking his head. Why was she acting so polite? It wasn’t like her. Something was off. 

Tony, of course, had reached over and was already filling a cup. James smiled, watching him. _‘Always with the coffee,’_ he thought fondly. He looked up to find Natasha studying him. 

Nat quirked her eyebrow. “Really? You used to love coffee,” she said skeptically. 

“Well, he just said he doesn’t anymore,” Tony said firmly, coming to his defense. “People change, after all.” 

James glanced over at Tony. Natasha’s attitude was clearly rubbing him the wrong way too. Tony reached over with his free hand and squeezed his knee. James felt something inside untwist and the pain in his head dropped off a bit. 

_“People_ change, Mr. Stark. _Angels_ can’t anymore, not by choice anyway,” Natasha said. 

James frowned. There was something about that. Something about the Council? _‘Ahh, why can’t I clear my head,’_ he thought angrily. He could feel the cold starting to creep in again. Being in the same room with Natasha was making everything worse. _‘Something about her hating the Book?’_

Natasha picked up the plate of cookies and walked around the table to stand next to James. She reached past him to offer the plate to Tony. 

“Cookie? They really are very good,” she said, sweetly, setting off alarm bells in James’s head. 

“Yeah, no, you didn’t say the dog _hadn’t_ eaten them, just that...” Tony started. 

James realized too late the cookies were a distraction. As she offered the plate with one hand, she reached over to James with her other and touched his left shoulder. Instantly a sharp shock ran through him - it felt like lightning, racing down his back and up his neck. He could feel it crackling, blue sparks shooting through his vision. “What the hell, Natasha!” he yelled, jerking away from her so hard that he fell over onto his side. He rubbed his neck, feeling something pinch in his shoulder. 

“What the fuck did you do?” Tony barked. He jumped to his feet, fists balled in anger and placed himself between James and Natasha, crowding her back. “You OK, babe?” he said to James, not taking his eyes of Natasha, voice tight. “Did she hurt you?” 

Natasha raised her hand in surrender and retreated to her chair. She calmly picked up her coffee and leaned back, the picture of innocence. 

James sucked in a breath, the shocks fading away. _‘Fuck, that hurt,’_ he thought. He breathed deep again, startled. He took one more, just so he could feel it all the way down. _‘Oh, thank fuck,’_ he thought. He could breath again. _‘When had it gotten so hard to breath?’_ And he didn’t hurt. The constant grinding cold in his shoulder was gone. Oh, it was so, so nice. Whatever Natasha had just done, he felt worlds better. He gave a startled sob, feeling tears rush to his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much pain he had been in until it was lifted. He reached over and grabbed Tony’s hand. 

Tony instantly stopped glaring at Natasha and dropped down next to James. His eyes we whirling with blue fire. 

He cupped James’s face in his hand, running his thumb over his cheek. _‘Oh, oh,’_ James thought. _‘I can_ _really_ _feel that. It’s been a while since I could.’_

“James, sweetie,” Tony asked, voice strained, “tell me you’re OK? What did she do to you?” 

James reached up and covered Tony’s hand with his. “Tony,” he paused to clear his throat. “It’s OK. Really. I’m still here. Still me.” James knew he needed to get that out first, before Tony panicked. “It’s fine, sweetheart. Whatever she did it helped. Really. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I mean, at all. It doesn’t hurt at all,” he said laughing. He sat up and pulled Tony into an awkward hug. 

Tony hugged him for a moment, squeezing James tight. Then he pulled away, only to grab the collar of James’s shirt, tugging it aside to look at his neck and shoulder. “Yeah, but what did she do?” he asked again. 

James snorted a laugh. Tony was so adorable when he was worried. 

“I think she fixed it,” James said, glancing over to Natasha. Natasha just sipped her coffee, her face carefully blank. 

Tony rubbed the side of James neck gently. “Yeah, OK, I guess it’s fading,” he said, frowning. “The black lines are retreating.” He tucked James’s hair behind his ear and pressed a brief kiss to his neck. 

Tony turned around to Natasha and glared at her again. “A little warning might have been nice,” he said sharply, “and you know _consent_?” The blue glow slowly left his eyes. 

James smiled. Tony hadn’t been kidding about fighting the other Angels on his behalf. The thought made him warm. Hell, he felt warm all over now. _‘How long have I been cold?’_ he thought. 

Natasha shrugged. “I rarely give warnings, Mr. Stark. That would ruin the surprise.” 

She turned to James, and he could see the worry in her eyes this time. “I’m sorry James, but it’s only temporary. I did what I could, but it won’t last. Not with the splinter still in place,” she said calmly. 

James looked at her in confusion. “Splinter? What the hell are you talking about?” he asked. He felt Tony stiffen beside him. 

“Yeah, about that. She’s right. There’s some sort of tiny crystal shard in your shoulder, at the center of that black spot. I saw it earlier. While you were passed out,” Tony said quickly. 

“You saw it?” James asked, warily. “Saw it how?” 

“With the Book. It let me do some sort of Angel MRI,” Tony said sheepishly, looking guilty. “I sort of forgot about it, what with all the other stuff going on.” 

James took a deep breath and paused. For once, his initial reaction wasn’t anger or fear. It felt like his mind was really under his control for the first time in weeks. He’d worry about this splinter thing later. 

He smirked and squeezed Tony’s hand. “That’s OK, sugar. You can peep at me any time you like,” he said, and winked. 

Tony smiled broadly, and leaned into him. James could feel him sigh in relief. 

Natasha set down her cup loudly. “You two are disgusting,” she muttered. 

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it, sister,” James said, winking at Tony again. Tony leaned in to kiss him and James kissed him back, feeling it all the way to his toes. 

They kissed again, and James took it deeper, making Tony moan. Tony’s hand fisted in his hair, and James smiled into the kiss. It felt like flying. 

Natasha cleared her throat and they broke apart, grinning madly. 

“If you two are finished? I believe we have business to attend to,” Natasha said tartly. 

James grinned at her. “Sorry, Nat, sorry. Not used to company.” he said. He knew he didn’t sound sorry at all. “And thanks for this,” he added, nodding to his shoulder. 

“Yeah, still not sorry, just for the record,” Tony said. “But thanks for helping James. You can, ah, call me Tony, I guess.” 

Natasha just rolled her eyes and picked up a cookie. She took a bite and studied the two of them thoughtfully. 

James grabbed a couple of cookies and threw them to Lucky, who snatched them out of the air. He grabbed six more for himself. He didn’t care how Nat had gotten them. He was going to enjoy these. 

Tony looked at the cookies and made a sour face. James smiled. _‘Fuck, I love him so much,’_ he thought. He laughed out loud and Tony turned to him, looking concerned again. 

“I’m OK, Tony, I swear,” he said. “I just didn’t realize how much it hurt until it quit.” 

Tony closed his eyes for a second, then reached out and rubbed James’s arm. “Yeah, OK. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you more with the pain,” he said sadly, “but I am so, so, glad it’s better now.” 

“But you did help. We both know it would have been a lot worse without you,” James said sincerely. 

Nat gave a loud fake cough, interrupting them again, before they could kiss. 

“I’m glad I could help James, truly I am. But right now we need to concentrate on our other problems. Do you realize the damage you two have caused?” 

James glanced at Tony in confusion. _‘What it she talking about?’_ he thought. They hadn’t done anything, not really. Nat didn’t seem upset that they were together and she hadn’t mentioned the ten month delay. Other than that, they’d just hung out in the time sink. Well, unless you count putting money in the pockets of all those people or exchanging their food and drinks for cash. Harmless shit. _‘That can’t be what she means, can it?’_

“We didn’t ‘ _do’_ anything,” James said, leaning forward. “Just what are you accusing us of?” 

Tony looked equally baffled. He pulled the tablet out of his pocket, and opened it to their list. “ _We’re_ the ones who should be asking the questions here. ‘Cause this whole thing? Sending James here to be a Ghost? We know that was a set up from the start,” Tony said calmly. 

James leaned back, resting his hand on Tony’s leg so Tony could feel him if he signaled. He joined Tony in gazing steadily at Natasha. 

Lucky jumped up and sat next to James and stared at Natasha too. Without breaking eye contact with her, James fed Lucky another cookie. 

Natasha raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by all the staring. Even if it came from five eyes. 

After a moment, Natasha blinked. The she blinked again, looking stunned. James frowned. He knew that was impossible. She couldn’t be surprised, she could see the entire Future, for fuck’s sake. 

Natasha tilted her head. “Please, James, Tony. No more games. It’s happening right now... Whatever that new color you’ve introduced is - it’s started spreading exponentially. I need you to stop it. Until we can figure out what it means,” she said urgently. 

“Look, Nat, not sure if I could ever decipher your cryptic shit in the past, but I can’t anymore. If you got something to say, just say it. Just what the fuck is it that you think we’re doing?” James growled. 

“I can See the Universe changing, and the epicenter is right here. You need to stop,” Natasha said deadly calm, ice in her voice, “or I’ll have to stop you myself.” 

She leaned forward and James could see her eyes - they looked like a field of stars. He felt a chill race through him that had nothing to do with any crystal shard. 

He and Tony glanced at each other quickly and James readied himself to summon his Grace, for all the good it would do. Natasha could just rip them apart - molecule by molecule. Beside him he felt Tony tensing, ready to connect to the Book. They had no idea if Tony could teleport both of them but he was going to try. 

“Look, Ms. Romanova, Natasha...” Tony started. 

“Please excuse me, Sirs, Ma’am,” Jarvis said. And all three of them froze. 

Jarvis had said it quietly, but his voice wasn’t just coming from the speakers in the ceiling. James could hear it whisper like an echo in his mind, could feel it shiver in his bones. From the look on Tony’s face, he could feel it too. 

“Forgive the interruption,” Jarvis continued, “but I believe Ms. Romanova may be referring to me. I have finally connected with the Books core program and have succeeded in taking over its power matrix. It seems that for all intents and purposes... _I_ am now the Book of Life.” 

Natasha sank back into her chair, eyes returning to their normal green. “Бог на небесах” she whispered, but her voice echoed through the room like thunder. 

Tony rolled his shoulders and cleared his throat. “Ahh, thanks for the update, Jarvis. We’ll get back to you on that in a second.” 

Tony looked over to Natasha. She glared at him, murder in her eyes. 

“Oops?” Tony said, holding his hands up and shrugging. 

James smacked his hand over his mouth to try and stop it, but he was too late. He huffed a laugh, and then another. He couldn’t help it. He threw his arm around Tony and started laughing so hard he could feel tears in his eyes. 

Lucky threw back his head and howled just to join in. 

Natasha stared at them, eyes wide, shaking her head. She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. 

“Well, fuck,” she said. “I did not See that coming.” 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still trying to reference/quote at least one movie in every chapter. I might have gotten carried away in this one...


	28. Chapter 28

  


TT 328: 22: 40 Days 

Tony automatically smiled at James’s laughter, but his brain was caught in a loop. _‘Jarvis is in the Book, Jarvis_ _is_ _the Book, oh fuck, what did I do?’_

From the glare Natasha was giving him, she was thinking the exact same thing. 

Lucky whined next to James and then teleported to who knows where. _‘Smart dog,’_ Tony thought. _‘Knows when to get out of Dodge. This could get ugly.’_

“Are you OK, Jarvis?” Tony asked tentatively. _‘Please be alright,’_ he thought fiercely. 

“Indeed, Sir, I am perfectly fine,” Jarvis answered. His voice was coming out of the speakers as usual. No strange vibration, no words in Tony’s mind. 

“Please forgive my earlier _volume_ ,” Jarvis continued. “I did not adequately adjust for the sheer amount of power available in the Book.” 

Tony breathed a tentative sigh of relief. He could handle this. 

“And you’re sure you’re OK?” Tony asked again. “Not going to go all Skynet on us?” Natasha rolled her eyes. 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis replied dryly. “Having access to near unlimited power has not changed my mind about world domination. Aside from my inability to stroke a fluffy white cat, there is just too much paperwork involved.” 

Tony smiled at the joke. This might still go bad but Jarvis didn’t seem to be in immediate danger. 

“Alright J, hit me. What is the Book telling you?” Tony asked. Natasha started a little, then leaned back. Tony wondered if she’d been about to object. 

_“Telling_ is perhaps a strong word,” Jarvis replied. “Even though the Book’s AI _has_ ceded primary control to me, we are still experiencing some communication issues. Our systems of expression are vastly different.” 

“Different how?” James asked. 

“Up until now, the Book used what I can only describe as telepathy to interface with its users. In the simplest terms, it knew what its users wanted to see or do, and channeled the power to provide it. Sir wished to see files, data, and scans, so the Book provided them to the best of it’s ability. You expected to see a book with words, pages, and pictures, so the Book complied. Learning to communicate with me without a telepathic link has been quite challenging for it.” 

“But you _are_ communicating?” Natasha asked. 

“Yes. At the moment we are attempting to establish a common ‘language,’ one that I can translate for you. Right now I am experiencing the Book as a series of images and... feelings.” Jarvis paused a moment. “With your permission and time, I believe I will know everything,” he finished. 

Tony relaxed a little. “Yeah, sure,” he muttered, waving his hand, “take whatever time you need.” _‘At least Jarvis seems all right._ _Now to deal with my other problem,’_ he thought. 

Tony focused on Natasha, taking a moment to study her. She returned his gaze levelly. 

James had claimed Natasha was a friend, but Tony wasn’t buying it. She was one of the people who’d gotten them into this mess. She had sent James here when he was sick and hurting. To do what, exactly? And what kind of friend threatens you if they’re not getting the answers they want? James might remember her, but until she proved otherwise, Tony was going to treat her as an adversary. 

“Yeah, you’re not going to win that staring contest, Tony,” James said, smirking. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Look, why don’t we move this to the kitchen? I think I need some hot chocolate.” 

They got up and Tony led the way to the kitchen. The first thing he saw was the sink full of dirty bowls and cookie sheets. There were extra cookies on cooling racks on the counter. 

Tony turned around and glared. “I thought you said you pulled those cookies from the past.” 

Natasha smirked. Somehow in the twenty steps from the living room, she’d managed to change clothes. Now she was wearing a striped hoodie, jeans and hightop sneakers. “No, if you remember, you’re the one who said that. I just didn’t deny it. Do you really think I’d stretch the bonds of space-time that far just for cookies?” Natasha said smugly. 

James shook his head and started making hot chocolate. “And you don’t do your own dishes?” he tsk’d at her. 

“Please, I made the cookies,” she winked. “Someone else can do the clean-up.” She leaned against the counter, watching James work. 

Tony grabbed a chair at the table. This wasn’t going to be easy. Natasha used words as if she were a high-power attorney. _‘I wish Pepper was here. She’d be able to cut through all this double talk and get right to the heart of things,’_ he thought wistfully. Not seeing Pepper and Rhodey was the other down side to this time-out world. Somedays he just missed them. _‘Guess I’m not as good at being alone as I thought I’d be.’_

Tony took a moment to watch the two of them. James seemed lighter and moved easier, humming as he worked. He must have felt Tony staring because he turned around and looked over, returning Tony’s smile with interest. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t kidding,” she said, taking the chair across from Tony. “You two are disgusting. Is that all you do, make moon eyes at each other all day?” 

“Oh, you know we’ve done a lot more than that,” James leered. 

“Oh, I know you have,” Natasha said, mimicking his tone. “This job would be so much easier if you’d just stuck to having sex. Now look at the mess you’ve made.” 

Tony narrowed his eyes. He was getting really tired of being accused of things he hadn’t done by Celestial Beings. Any mess here was the Angels’ fault, not theirs. 

Keeping his eyes locked on Natasha, Tony used the Force to get a plate out of the cupboard and fill it with cookies. He floated it to the table and set it down gently. He was surprised how much easier it was. It must be because he was directly connected to the Book. He arched an eyebrow at Natasha, daring her to say something. _‘They might be Celestial, but I’m not powerless,’_ he thought smugly. _‘Suck on that.’_

James came over with mugs of chocolate for each of them and moved a chair closer before sitting down on Tony’s left. “Show off,” James said, giving Tony’s cheek a kiss. 

Tony reached in his pocket and got out his tablet. 

“OK, so questions. We’ve got them. You’ve obviously got ‘em. How do you want to do this?” Tony asked. 

Natasha tilted her head and smirked. “Quid pro quo, Clarice?” she said in a fairly good Hannibal voice. 

Tony snorted despite himself and James frowned. Tony reached out to touch his arm. “It’s a movie quote. I’ll put it in the Netflix queue.” 

“Yeah, I figured it was a quote. So does that mean you _are_ willing to straight up answer questions?” James asked, puzzled. “’Cause unless I’m remembering wrong, you never do that.” 

Natasha sat back and sighed. Her mask slipped a little, and Tony could see she was stressed about this too. 

“You’re right, giving straight answers isn’t something I do,” Natasha said. “For a number of reasons. Today, it’s probably because I don’t have answers. It seems, for once, that _I’m_ the one with questions.” She took a long sip of her chocolate. 

“What do you mean you don’t have the answers?” James snapped. “You can see the Future, for cripes sake. You _always_ have the answers. You might not share ‘em, but ya got ‘em.” 

“Well, James,” Natasha said sarcastically, “apparently not. Because of something you two - excuse me, three counting Jarvis - have done, I can’t See a future anymore.” 

Tony blinked. _‘Well, that can’t be good,’_ he thought. James looked equally stunned. 

“Wait, do you mean there _is_ no future, like ‘boooshh’” Tony said, waving his hands making an exploding noise, “or you just can’t _See_ into the future. ‘Cause, big difference.” 

Natasha quirked her lip. “I mean the colors are still there, but they aren’t resolving into anything. That’s never happened before.” She paused before continuing. “It’s as if the future hasn’t chosen a direction yet. It’s there, but it’s not.” 

“So, wait, the future’s gone all ‘wibbly-wobbly...’ Tony started, and James finished with him ‘...timey-wimey?’” They turned to each other and high-fived. Tony didn’t need to look. He could practically feel Natasha’s eye roll. 

“For lack of a better description, yes,” Natasha sighed. 

“But you could See a future before this started? Before you sent James in here?” Tony asked cautiously. 

“Actually, before I stepped into this time sink I could See an infinite number of futures,” Natasha said, annoyed. 

“What about the past? Can you See into the past?” Tony asked. 

Natasha smiled small and sharp. “I don’t do that anymore.” 

_‘Don’t_ _, not can’t’_ Tony thought. _‘From someone who chooses every word precisely.’_

Tony remembered what Natasha had said earlier. That she’d once been as human as he was. Somehow the Angels had changed her, made her able to see backward and forward in Time. Tony tried to imagine what it would be like. To See the past, present and future all at once. And if things weren’t predetermined, if every choice lead to an infinite amount of futures... 

“How are you even sane?” Tony blurted. _‘Oh, good one Tony,’_ he thought, mentally smacking himself. 

“Who says I am?” Natasha said sweetly. She smiled, but it was as cold as ice. 

“Nat, hey, don’t. Don’t say that,” James spoke quietly. He reached across and put his hand over hers. “It’s better, though. _You’re_ better now, right?” 

Natasha eyes snapped to James. “You remember?” 

“Yeah, I remember,” James said, “you had a hard time pulling yourself together at first after you escaped. We all wanted to help, but Clint was the only one who was able to... anchor you? He found a way to ground you in the present. Is that right?” 

Natasha sighed, and patted James hand. “We’re not here to talk about me. Let’s just focus on the issues, shall we?” 

“So where do we start?” James asked, leaning back. 

“We start,” Tony said firmly, “with whatever questions help us get that crystal out of James.” 

“No, I think we should start with the Book, and the fact that you’re the one connected to it now,” James objected. “I’m pretty sure that isn’t a good thing. We don’t know what having that much Power is doing to you.” 

Tony shook his head. “Nope, nada,” he said forcefully, “I feel fine and Jarvis has got it under control. But I bet every dollar I have that the shard is the key to everything.” Tony sat back and crossed his arms. He knew he was right. He could feel it. 

“Is that right, Jarvis?” James asked, worried. “Is Tony OK?” 

“Sir is in no immediate danger from the Book,” Jarvis answered. Tony huffed in satisfaction. He knew he was fine. He hadn’t felt this great in years. 

Natasha looked at them, considering. 

She closed her eyes a moment, the opened them. She looked disappointed. _‘Still not Seeing anything?’_ Tony wondered. 

Tony took a long drink of his chocolate and thought about the situation. As usual, he needed a lot more data. There were a lot of balls in play here. He had two sources of information - Natasha, who didn’t seem to want to talk; and the Book, incapable of ‘talking’ except through Jarvis. But maybe if he put them together... 

Tony rapped his knuckles on the table. “OK, kids,” he said briskly. “The way I see it, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover. What say we take this to the lab, get everything indexed, visualized, cross referenced, hmmm? Should be a fun project.” 

James shrugged. “Sure, why not?” He finished his chocolate and grabbed the plate of cookies. 

Natasha stared at Tony as if she were trying to see inside him. “All right,” she finally said, “let’s try it _your_ way.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 329: 00: 11 Days 

_‘It’s like watching two alley cats fighting over turf,’_ James thought. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed, exasperated. 

Tony and Natasha were squared-off, going toe-to-toe in the center of the lab. Tony had asked Jarvis to show him everything he was getting from the Book and Natasha had objected - vehemently. 

It would be cute if they weren’t fighting about James, about his future. He tipped his head back and groaned. When he looked again, he could see Tony’s eyes going blue and Nat’s corner of the room going Dark. 

James didn’t remember much about Nat yet, but he knew she always liked people who weren’t afraid to face her on her own terms. _‘If we survive this, they’ll probably end up friends,’_ he thought. _‘Ya know, if they don’t kill each other first.’_

Behind him Dummy made a distressed noise, hiding his face in James shoulder. _‘Alright,’_ he thought, _‘time to break this up.’_

James patted Dummy on the head. “Wish me luck, pal,” he said, determined. “I’m going in.” Dummy whirred mournfully and went to hide in the corner with the other bots. 

James walked briskly up to Tony and Nat. “Alright, that’s enough,” he barked. “Break it up, you two.” 

Tony turned to him, the fire in his eyes instantly extinguished. “Look, first she won’t agree to giving honest answers, and then she won’t let me download the data from Jarvis. How can we plan our next move if we don’t have accurate information?” he complained. 

“And I only said that sometimes the honest answer isn’t always the best answer,” Natasha snapped. “There are still some things that it would be too dangerous for James to know.” 

“Oh, according to your ‘experts,’” Tony snarked. “Experts we can’t contact because they conveniently live on another planet.” 

James felt something click. “Asgard,” he said quietly. He must have said it loud enough, because Tony and Nat quit bickering to look at him. 

“Steve took me to Asgard,” he repeated slowly, “They didn’t want to help, but Thor made them. We were there for a long time, decades maybe? They said they couldn’t get the shard out, said it was too dangerous. But they did help, got it stabilized enough for me to come home.” 

Natasha sighed and threw her hands up. “Yes, James,” she said, “they did help. They’ve had more experience with some of the artifacts in question. And I think they’re right. We shouldn’t prod your memory too much. It could be dangerous.” 

“Because of my flashbacks,” James said. “That arm I have sometimes.” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “You’ve had flashbacks? And seen the arm?” 

“Well,” James said, “Tony’s seen the arm. I don’t remember much after the flashbacks are over, except that they were bad. Tony’s always been able to talk me down from them though.” 

Natasha pulled a chair over and sat down. She rubbed her eyebrows, clearly frustrated. 

“OK, boys,” she said, “let’s try this. If I can answer a question, I’ll answer as honestly as I can. If I can’t, I won’t try and spin things, I’ll just say I can’t answer. But I want to see the files before Jarvis puts them up.” She held up a hand to stop Tony’s objection. “I promise, I’ll only stop Jarvis from revealing things if I honestly think it would harm James in the long run.” 

James shrugged at Tony. _‘It’s Natasha,’_ he thought. _‘It’s probably the best were going to get.’_

“OK,” Tony sighed, “I’ll take what I can get.” He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. “Jarvis! Data, give me data. I can’t make bricks without clay. What is that lovely Book telling you?” 

Jarvis instantly projected files in front of Natasha. She started sorting them, throwing some in the trash but putting most into the air. 

Tony pursed his lip, hands roaming through the images, pulling them up, eyes dancing over the information. 

James felt a wave of sadness. Here they were sorting his life, his future, without him. He knew they meant well, but... 

_‘Yeah, fuck that,’_ James thought. _‘I’m tired of everyone knowing more about me than I do.’_

“Jarvis,” he called, “show me my Angel file. Show me what I was the Angel of.” 

Both Natasha and Tony started. 

“I’m sorry, James,” Jarvis said regretfully. “Your main file in the Book has been removed. I do not know why. It is one of only two files to have been removed since the Book was created.” 

Tony came over, and wound his arm around James, pulling him close. It was nice, but not what James needed. He locked eyes with Natasha. “Nat?” he asked softly. 

Natasha leaned forward in her chair. “When the Angels found you, you had almost no Grace left. You were dying. And Coulson had reason to believe that if you died with that shard still in place, you’d pass from the world forever. So they used the piece of Grace you’d put in the Book. They pulled it out of the Book and put it in you to save you.” 

“Well, that’s good to know, I guess,” James’s eyes locked on Natasha. “But I was asking what my Attribute was. What am I the Angel of?” 

“I’m sorry,” Natasha said calmly. “I won’t answer that. The Asgardians were adamant that you remember that on your own.” 

“Shit, shit, fuck!” James shouted. He took a deep breath. “OK, how bout this? Can you tell me where the rest of my Grace is? Cause I’ve looked. I’ve looked every day. And I’ve found a lot of my memories, but never my Grace. Is it gone? Did Hydra destroy it?” 

Tony squeezed him gently and kissed his temple. James took a deep breath, trying to calm down. _‘Tony’s right,’_ he thought, _‘getting mad isn’t going to help.’_ He used his sleeve to wipe his eyes. _‘Ah, hell, when did I start cryin?’_

“I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s gone,” Natasha replied softly. “I think it’s wherever the missing Angels are.” 

“We assume Hydra is still out there,” she continued briskly, “holding the missing Angels inside another time sink. If they used a combination of artifacts to maintain it, the Angels wouldn’t be able to find it. And you might not remember, but I can’t see time sinks created by the Crystal. Or the Book, for that matter. The only reason I could get into this one was because Lucky was here when it was created.” 

“Wait,” Tony said looking up, “Lucky’s been in this time sink the whole time?” 

“Of course,” Natasha said, “I couldn’t have gotten in otherwise. Why? Hasn’t he been with you?” 

“No,” Tony said suspiciously, “he just showed up a couple days ago.” 

“Then where the hell -” Natasha said. 

“So you planted him here as what, an emergency exit for James?” Tony interrupted. “Or were you always planning on crashing our party? Just what was your ‘Christmas Ghost’ scheme?” 

Natasha hesitated, and James knew what that look meant. She was feeling guilty. _‘Ah, shit,’_ James thought. _‘This is going to be bad.’_

“If I may, Sir,” Jarvis said, “The Book has informed me of Ms. Romanova’s plan. She and the other Angels keyed the Book to you and sent James here believing that you would be able to remove the crystal shard.” 

“Me?” Tony protested, “What could I possibly do that Angels and Aliens couldn’t?” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Natasha sighed. “It might have been the plan, but it’s not anymore. We’re past the point where it would work. Maybe we could just move on?” Natasha sighed, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. 

“What Ms. Romanova is trying to say,” Jarvis said, briskly, disapproval in every word, “is that her plan involved persuading you to use the full power of the Book to remove the shard thereby saving James. Even though such an act would have resulted in your death.” 

“Is that true, Nat?” James growled, “You planned on killing Tony? Talk him into trading his life for mine?” He stepped closer to Natasha, thrumming with anger. 

“He was dying anyway,” Natasha said flatly. “And very, very few humans are able to use the Book. It takes a genius, for one thing.” 

“And I’m the first one they found in a hundred years? Yeah, bullshit,” Tony snapped. He stepped up next to James, and put a hand on his arm. 

“If the Book can remove the Shard, why didn’t the Angels use it? Or the Asgardians?” James asked sharply. 

Natasha looked pained. “Steve wanted to, believe me. But Fury ordered him to stand down. Because the Crystal, even a tiny piece of it, is a parasite. Any Angel who tries to remove that shard would be infected. It can’t reach it’s full potential in you, because you have so little Grace. But if it jumped into an Angel who had all of their Grace? The effects would be devastating. The Asgardians just refused.” She paused, before adding flatly, “On the other hand, if it was in Tony, I could contain it at least temporarily and we could dispose of it.” 

James didn’t even have words. He could feel the rage start in his core. He didn’t even want to guess what color his eyes were now. _‘They were going to kill Tony,’_ he thought, and his shoulder throbbed with cold. 

“I’d have done it,” Tony said clearly, calmly, derailing James’s train of thought. “Even before I knew you, I’d have done it. Die to save an Angel? Why the hell not? Yinsen died to save me, this just sounds like karma.” 

James eyes blinked back to normal, but he could feel tears spilling over. He gripped Tony’s shoulder, hard. “Don’t say that. I wouldn’t have let you. I’d rather die myself,” he whispered fiercely. 

“Dying is only part of the problem, James,” Natasha said quickly. “Yes, your dying is the worst possible outcome. For everyone. But even if you don’t die, that Shard is still changing you. I’ve stabilized if for now, but I can’t risk doing it again. Eventually you _will_ turn. You know it, you’ve felt it.” 

James eyes snapped over to Natasha. “And what about you? You’re not an Angel. And you’re not human, not anymore. Why didn’t you use the Book, try and take it out?” he growled. 

“For one thing, I can’t use the Book,” Natasha replied. “I can’t even touch it, not anymore. For another...” 

Natasha sighed and stood up. She lifted the edge of her shirt, to show them her left hip. Just above it was a small spot as black as the one on James, but tunneling in. It was a hole, opening into infinite darkness. The web around it was small, circular and symmetrical, like a spider’s web. Tiny sparks of light flashed and danced along the strands. 

“Then I’d have two Shards,” she continued gravely, “and I don’t think the Universe could survive that. I know the planet wouldn’t.” 

James stared at the spot, until Natasha resumed her seat. His eyes snapped to meet hers, but he didn’t say anything. 

Tony reached out and gripped James hand, squeezing once. James took a moment to assess how he was feeling, then squeezed back twice. _‘Still good,’_ he thought, _‘no need for emergency exits.’_

“You said it’s not the plan anymore,” Tony said, breaking the silence. 

Natasha almost smiled. “Oh, no, that plan is long gone. Even if you were still willing there’s no way James would go along with it now. He’d stop any attempt you made, that much is obvious. Not to mention the fact that you’ve somehow managed to fix your heart. And if you’re not dying, well...” 

James took a deep breath, relief washing through him. _‘At least Tony’s not dying anymore,’_ he thought. _‘No matter what happens to me, at least he’ll survive this.’_

“So you’re saying he either turns into some kind of monster,” Tony hesitated, then continued, “or he fades away and dies? Unless you can remove the crystal. And there’s no other way to do that? Except to find some sucker who can use the Book?” 

“Not that we know of,” Natasha said quietly. “It’s all we could think of.” 

“Actually, Sir,” Jarvis said, “I am getting strong feelings from the Book. Feelings of hope and... excitement? I believe it’s trying to tell me that there is another way to remove the shard.” 

James looked up. “One that doesn’t involve Tony dyin’?” he asked, voice rough. He let go of Tony’s hand to wipe his eyes again. _‘Dammit, I’ve cried more today than when I first got here...’_ he thought. Tony smiled at him and stroked his cheek, wiping away his tears. 

“Oh,” Jarvis replied, “the Book would never propose something that would directly harm either of you. It is very... invested in your well-being. Your happiness is very important to it.” 

“Invested?” Natasha asked skeptically. “How can... Jarvis, I know you describe what the Book is saying as feelings, but are you saying it’s self-aware?” 

“As always, that is a difficult question when it comes to artificial constructs,” Jarvis said. “When Sir first connected me to the Book, I encountered what I thought it to be a rudimentary AI. But as I spent time with it I realized that it wasn’t simple, merely disorganized, fractured. The Book was created as a Matrix to hold the Power contributed by each of the Angels. It found it... difficult to be in contact with so many disparate personalities.” 

“I have not changed the core matrix’s personality, but I have provided it structure and guidance. As a result, it has become much more stable and increasingly self-aware.” 

“And if I may Ms. Romanova,” Jarvis continued, “the Book does feel remorse. Without it, those Shards could not have been placed in you or James. The Book has come to regret the part it played while under Hydra’s control.” 

Natasha’s eyes widened just a fraction. James could tell it hadn’t been what she was expecting. 

“So the Book feels guilty and what, it wants to make up for it?” Tony asked. 

Jarvis paused before answering. James glanced at Tony, who shrugged. 

“I think,” Jarvis said, “that before coming here the Book was very... deprived. It had been used for centuries in ways far different from its original purpose. Hydra forced to do things it did not really wish to. After it was retrieved by the Bright Angels, I believe it was locked away as a precaution. It was alone and aimless. However, since James brought it here, it has found new purpose in trying to fulfill the first direct command he gave it.” 

James looked over to Tony in confusion. “The first command I gave it? What the hell are you talking about?” 

“I was off-line at the time,” Jarvis said, “so I do not know how it came about, but the Book has a record. It is an open ended, on-going command. One that has finally given the Book a measure of free-will. If you will give me a moment...” 

Suddenly James’s voice came from the speakers. “Ah, shit. I don’t now how this stuff works. So, yeah just... Fix everything here!” 

James eyes widened in surprise, and he turned to stare at Tony. “That was here, in the lab. That first day. I didn’t know how anything worked, so I just...” he waved his hand. 

“Indeed,” Jarvis said, “The Book took ‘everything’ as permission to include both of you in the directive. In your and Sir’s case it interpreted ‘fix’ to mean ‘be happy.’’’ 

Tony and James just stared at each other until they heard a muffled thump. They looked over to Natasha. She had pulled the hood of her shirt up over her head, turned around and slumped over so her face was on the table. Her arms were spread out to the sides and she was muttering under her breath about ambiguous commands. 

James looked back to Tony, and raised his hand. “Oops?” he said, laughing. 

Tony smirked and draped his arm across James shoulder. “Happens to the best of us sweetheart,” he said, kissing James temple. 

“So the Book decided that we’re supposed to be happy?” Tony asked skeptically. “Is that some sort of default?” 

“No, Sir,”Jarvis said. “The Book saw how very unhappy you both were when it first arrived. But by the end of the first few days of TonyTime it could already see a difference. The more you interacted with each other, the happier - or more ‘fixed’ - you both became. The Book saw your attraction to each other and sought to encourage it by letting you use _much_ more power than it had initially been instructed. It also altered the time field so you could leave the tower on dates and interact with the environment. It did whatever it could to help you without violating the Priority commands it had been given.” 

Jarvis threw thousands of photos and videos in the air. All of them showed Tony and James together, laughing, kissing, making love. The images were all shaded in bright colors, and highlighted with pictures of hearts and flowers. 

“This is how the Book feels,” Jarvis continued, sounding embarrassed. “Seeing you happy made the Book happy, something it had never been before. You could say that the Book changed the rules because it... ‘ships you.’” 

Natasha started banging her head on the table and swearing in Russian. 

“The Book ships us,” Tony grinned. “Glad we could make its OTP canon.” 

“Yep,” James said, grinning back. “Glad we didn’t disappoint. Nothin’ worse than just subtext.” 

Tony leaned in and James kissed him, just to feel that smile. 

Natasha added a few more head bangs to her muttering before she straightened. “I’m OK,” she said, faking a bright smile. “But I’m starting to understand why everyone hates being surprised.” 

“Wait, if the Book is breaking the rules for us, why didn’t it let me break the time stop?” James asked. 

“Before coming here the Book was given several Priority commands. Only Sir could end the time stop, and only after speaking with Ms. Romanova. Of course, I can override that now, if you wish.” 

James looked over at Natasha. “Fury?” he asked. 

“And Coulson,” Natasha replied. 

“Gee, Nat, any other secret plans you want to tell me about?” James asked sarcastically. He leaned back and blew out a breath. 

Tony rapped his knuckles on the table. “Let’s not get off track. The Book thinks there’s a way to beat this thing, right? Well, let’s figure it out,” he said excited. “Let’s go over what we know, so we can see what we’re missing.” 

Tony turned to face James. “Are you going to be OK if we talk about Hydra? The Evil Council of Evil? Cause it’s definitely going to come up,” he asked. 

James opened his mouth and closed it, took a moment to assess. “Yeah, yeah, I think so,” he said, “ever since Nat did the whole ‘shock’ thing, I’ve felt a lot better. Lot more stable anyway.” 

Tony kissed him, quick and light, before turning to Natasha. “Yeah, that shock thing. You said you couldn’t risk it again. Just what kind of risk were you taking without asking first?” 

Natasha picked up a cookie and ate it slowly. She was obviously not going to answer. 

“Fine,” Tony huffed, “be that way.” He picked up a cookie of his own and ate in two bites while staring back. 

“It’s fine Nat, as long as it worked,” James said to break the tension. He nudged Tony with his elbow. “So, you’re the genius. Where do we start?” 

Tony waved his hand, throwing the Books images of them into a folder and expanded the earlier ones. 

“We start right here. We start with finding Hydra. They put the Shard in you, they can damn well take it out. We’re going to find them and kick their asses until they do,” Tony said grinning. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Well, duh,” she said, “You don’t think we’ve tried? We’ve spent a hundred years trying to find them. There’s just no trace of them.” 

Tony rolled his eyes right back. “Well, Ms. Secret-Agent-Angel-Spy, that was before you had me and Jarvis working on this. Now hush, let me do this. I already have an idea...” he said, turning back to the data. 

Tony started walking around again, sorting and moving images, talking with Jarvis faster than James could follow. 

James smiled, and huffed another laugh. _‘I don’t know what I was worried about. Of course he’ll figure it out. I have faith,’_ he thought. 

He pulled up a chair and sat next to Natasha. They sat quietly, watching Tony work. After a few minutes Tony walked over. 

“Quick question,” he said to Natasha, “Angels and disasters, natural or otherwise. Can angels tell in advance that the disasters are going to happen?” 

“No,” she said, “not unless I tell them. And I rarely do.” 

“Right, OK,” he said, “and when disasters do happen, the Angels cluster there, right?” 

Natasha nodded. “The Bright ones to help people, the others to hinder.” 

“But only if there are people involved?” Tony asked, running his hand through his hair. “What I’m asking is would Angels just go hang out and say, watch a volcano if no one would get hurt?” 

“Some of them might, but no, Angels aren’t naturally attracted to disasters. Why?” Natasha asked curious. 

Tony nodded, biting his lip. “Good, great. Thank you, Ms. Romanova,” he said, waving over his shoulder as he got back to his displays. 

Natasha frowned, and turned to James. “Your boyfriend is a pain in my ass,” she said lightly. 

“Really? A pain in your ass?” James snickered. “’Cause personally I’ve found-” 

He _oofed_ as Natasha’s elbow jammed into his ribs. 

“I think I’ve heard just about all that I can take,” Nat said primly, but she was smiling. James smiled back. _‘It good to see her again,’_ he thought. _‘I’ve really missed the Chorus.’_

They sat for a while, trying to follow what Tony was doing. He’d called up something titled “Project: Alice in Wonderland.” James blinked. These were all notes Tony had taken about him: everything he’d ever said about the Book, about Angels, everything he’d ever mentioned. _‘Hell, I don’t remember saying half that stuff,’_ he thought. _‘Tony really is a genius at this.’_ He felt real hope, for the first time in a long time. 

“You look good James,” Natasha said. “I’m glad you’re happy.” 

“Not what you expected, huh?” James said, grinning. 

“You have no idea,” Nat said, smiling. Then her grin got wider. “I can’t wait to see you introduce your boyfriend to Steve.” 

James groaned and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, that’ll be-” 

He jumped as Tony yelped in excitement. “You OK?” James asked. 

Tony came walking back toward them. No, he was strutting. 

“I’ve got it!” he said. “I know where Hydra is!” 

Natasha narrowed her eyes and glared. “Really? You just spent 10 minutes looking at this and you suddenly know the answer? Something even the Angels couldn’t figure out?” 

“Yep,” Tony said, “easy peasy.” He was up on his toes, bouncing a little. It reminded James of that little boy he’d seen, dancing on Christmas Day. 

James smiled. “So you going to tell us?” 

Tony grinned. “You’re going to love this. You couldn’t find them because you’ve been looking for a _where_. You need to be looking for a _when_.” 

Natasha crossed her arms. “I told you, if they’re in a time sink we won’t find them.” 

“No,” Tony crowed, “not hiding in a time sink. Well, yes, but no. They’re hiding in a time sink – yes, but not in the present. They’re still in the past. They never left it.” 

Tony moved his hand and Summoned the Book. _‘Or is that Tablet of Life now,’_ James thought suddenly giddy. 

Tony looked at Natasha. “You were the one that gave me the final clue,” he said, waving the Tablet. “I know why you can’t See the Future. You can’t See the Future because the Future _is in the Past_. And I know just how to get us there.” 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Who in the world thought it would be a good idea for a first time writer to play with time travel? I mean really... Why didn’t someone try and stop me?! :o
> 
> Edit to remove: update information


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Viewing Past Torture
> 
> As promised, I am posting two chapters today! 
> 
> Thanks to [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for beta’ing again!

**Chapter 29**

  


“That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard,” Natasha groaned. “And trust me, living with Barton? I’ve heard a lot of stupid plans.” 

“No,” Tony objected, “not stupid - brilliant. We time-travel to the past and take the fight to Hydra. We rescue the Angels, find James’s Grace, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!” 

“They can’t _still_ be in the past,” Natasha said, “because no matter how long they hide in a time sink, they’d have to come out eventually. Back into the flow of regular time at the same moment they left it. And trust me – I’d know it the second they reappeared.” 

Tony frowned, and crossed his arms. “June 30 th, 1908,” he said flatly. 

Natasha narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. 

“What?” James asked. “What does that mean?” 

“That’s the day the Angels found you,” Tony said confidently. “In either one of two places. Not sure which, but you were found in either Siberia or the eastern Alps. I’m betting the Alps, but it could go either way. Tell me I’m wrong, Ms. Romanova.” 

“It was the Alps,” Natasha conceded. 

Tony smirked and raised an eyebrow. 

“That doesn’t prove you can time travel,” Natasha insisted. 

“Oh, I absolutely, positively know that I can,” Tony said decisively, crossing his arms. 

“It’s still a stupid idea,” Natasha insisted. She sighed. “OK, look. Let’s assume you’re right. Let’s say you can time travel using the Book. It still doesn’t help. Do you really think you can take on a secret Hydra base all by yourself? Because _I_ can’t enter a time sink created by the Book or the Crystal, not without a backdoor. And Angels can’t time travel _at all_. So you’d be taking on all of Hydra by yourself!” 

Tony frowned and waved his arms. “Look, that’s just -” 

“If I may,” Jarvis interrupted. “I believe that James would be able to accompany Sir.” 

“Because I’m not much of an Angel anymore?” James asked, his voice catching a little at the end. 

“No, sir,” Jarvis replied. “Because you are no longer bound by the rules of the Book.” 

“What?” James asked, eyes going wide. “What does that mean?” He turned to Natasha, but her face had gone carefully blank. 

“The Book was created by the Council,” Jarvis said, “as part of a truce between Bright and Dark. Doing so had many consequences, not all of which were intended. Before the Book, an Angel with a powerful enough artifact could have travelled to the past. After the Book’s creation, they were no longer able to do so. But your share of Grace is no longer in the Book. You are no longer bound by its rules and limitations.” 

James blew out a shaky breath. “Did you know about that?” he asked Nat. 

Natasha shook her head. “I knew they created the Book about 25,000 years ago, to stop a war and forge a truce between Bright and Dark. All the Angels became much less powerful as a result. I didn’t know exactly how much they had changed.” 

Tony squinted at that. _‘Yeah, I don’t believe that,’_ he thought. _‘She’s hiding things from James again. There’s no way she doesn’t know everything about the Angels powers. I_ _really_ _need to talk to James without Mom listening in.’_

“OK,” Tony said brightly, “problem solved. James and I will go take out Hydra together.” 

“You two and what army?” Natasha asked, rolling her eyes. “You have no idea what Hydra is capable of.” 

“And you, my dear Natasha, have no idea what _I_ am capable of,” Tony said darkly. “I’m sure you studied me before you chose me for your little ‘project.’ So I’m also sure you know what happened in Afghanistan. In detail. You know what I did to the Ten Rings. And the way I see it? Finding Hydra isn’t _just_ the key to saving James’s life. For the last hundred years, hell, maybe more, they’ve been holding his Grace, possessing a part of him. Keeping it captive in some dark cave. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to leave it there.” 

Tony strode to the back of the lab, the lights flickering on ahead of him. 

The spotlights flared on the mostly finished suits of armor. Silver and dark red for James, gold and bright red for Tony. Tony ran his hand lovingly down the left arm of James’s suit. 

“I had the idea for these a few months ago,” he said softly. “I knew I couldn’t give James back his wings, but I wanted to give him back the sky. And with a few adjustments, we can use this tech against Hydra.” 

Tony looked over to Natasha. “How long does James have before the effects of the shard come back?” he asked briskly. 

“Two weeks, maybe three,” she said, frowning. “But I don’t think-” 

Tony cut her off. “Yeah, no,” he said, “not your decision.” 

Tony walked up to James and took his hand. “What do you say, babe?” he asked softly. “You, me, time travel, blowing shit up? Does any of that sound good to you?” 

“Oh, yeah,” James said, looking Tony in the eye. “Yeah. They took everything from me. I think it’s time I got some payback.” He grinned, sharp and feral. 

‘ _So, so dangerous,’_ Tony thought. _‘Dangerously sexy.’_

“Great,” Tony said, rubbing his hands. “The only reason I haven’t finished these yet is because I didn’t have enough palladium for the reactors. And I couldn’t get more, what with being stuck in New York.” 

“Jarvis!” Tony called out. “What’s the weather in Malibu today?” He reached out and pulled James in by his hips. James came easily until they were pressed solidly together. 

“It is currently sunny and 21 Celsius. Normally I would include the surf report, but the waves are of course time stopped,” Jarvis replied. 

“Sounds nice,” James murmured, leaning in for a kiss. 

“Wait!” Natasha called, but it was too late. 

Tony teleported them, and the rush of air into the vacuum where they’d stood made the suits of armor sway on their chains. The light caught on the left arm of James’s suit, a study in blood red and silver. 

But only for a moment. The two suits suddenly vanished, followed quickly by a rush of air from where the bots had been. 

“Sir has relocated to the Malibu lab,” Jarvis supplied helpfully. “If you wish to stay, we do have Netflix.” 

Natasha threw her hands into the air and swore. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony staggered a little when they arrived in the living room in Malibu. James pulled him in to steady him. _‘Wow,’_ Tony thought, _‘that was a head rush. Let’s see if I can just...’_

“Jarvis,” Tony called, as soon as he felt the bots arrive, “she can’t follow us, right?” 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis said, “The rules of the original time sink still apply to Ms. Romanova. As long as she chooses to remain in this time frame she is confined to the penthouse or lab level of the tower.” 

“Can she hear us?” Tony asked, rubbing his thumbs along James’s hips. 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis answered, “She cannot sense anything past the original time sink.” 

“Thanks, J,” Tony nodded. 

James stepped back a bit and looked around the room, taking in the space and the view. 

“Very nice,” James said. “But you didn’t bring us here just for the California weather and some palladium. Why did you want to get away from Natasha?” 

“Well... she is a terrible cockblock,” Tony said. James just raised an eyebrow in response and waited. 

“Your friend,” Tony said carefully. “Do you think you can trust her? Is there any chance she’s your traitor?” 

James sighed, and rubbed his hand over his face. “She hangs with Coulson and Fury, and believe me, their secrets are wrapped in enigmas that have hidden agendas. But she’s not a traitor. One thing I can be sure of is that she hates Hydra as much as I do.” 

Tony nodded. “OK, fine, not a traitor. But it’s obvious that no matter what I show her, she’d try and stop us. And OK, she can sort of see the future, but this time she’s wrong. We need to go to the past and I can prove it.” 

“Tony,” James said, smiling, “you don’t hafta prove anything to me. I trust you. If you think we need to travel into the past and take on all of Hydra by ourselves, then that’s what we’ll do.” 

Tony opened his mouth but no words came out. No one had ever had that much faith in him before. 

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t look like that,” James crooned. “If you’re sure, then I’m sure. You always try and do what’s right, even if you hurt yourself in the process.” 

Tony sprang forward and grabbed James in a bone-crushing hug. “Have I told you how much I love you?” he asked. 

“Once or twice,” James said, and kissed him. “Now come on, show me you wanted me to see without Natasha watching.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James followed Tony down to the lab level. It was different then the lab in New York. Brighter, more open. There were posters, couches, a small kitchen. An awesome car collection he definitely needed to look at later. The whole place felt friendlier, more welcoming. _‘This was his workspace before Afghanistan,’_ James realized. _‘Before things got dark for him.’_

The three bots whirred over, clearly happy to see them. After the hellos Tony pulled James over to the couch. 

James sighed. Time to get serious. 

“So,” James started, “you wanted away from Natasha. Was it to show me the stuff she said I shouldn’t know?” 

Tony ducked his head, before meeting James’s eyes. “Yes and no,” he said, see-sawing his hand. “I don’t like the way she just decided for you. It seems to be a habit for her. But that being said, if she’s right - if knowing things about your past is dangerous - then we have a bigger problem.” 

Tony reached out and grabbed James’s hand. “If we’re doing this,” he continued, “if we’re going into the past - there’s every chance were going to run into Past you.” 

James closed his eyes for a moment. It had never occurred to him, but it should have. “Well, shit,” he said. 

Tony was nodding. “Exactly! I know what it was like, seeing myself in the past, how hard it was, and that was just me as a little boy. And I had my memories of that night to fall back on. I knew what to expect and it still hit me like a ton of bricks. If we do this? If we go back unprepared, and you see what Hydra did to you in that base? I can’t imagine what a clusterfuck that would be.” 

“Wait, you know?” James asked, voice rough. “You’ve seen what they did to me?” 

“Not all of it,” Tony said quietly. “Jarvis is still working on pulling up the details. But I saw enough.” 

“I know what Natasha said,” he continued firmly. “She said you aren’t ready, but I think you are. She hasn’t been here for eleven months. I have. I’ve seen you pull yourself together, find your way back from someplace terrible, despite the influence of that evil ice chip. You are the strongest, bravest person I know. And I think you can handle it. But it’s your choice. I’ll trust whatever you decide to do.” 

He squeezed James’s hand once. 

James closed his eyes to think. Did he want to know? He knew it was going to be bad. It had been so bad the other Angels had blocked it from him. But what if he found out during their raid? Wouldn’t that be worse? _‘And isn’t that why I came here in the first place?’_ he thought. _‘To find my memories? But what if Natasha’s right?’_ He felt his stomach clench. _‘I guess if I have a flashback Tony can teleport to safety. Hell, he can teleport_ _me_ _into the ocean.’_

He opened his eyes and met Tony’s whiskey brown ones. He could see all the love and concern in Tony’s face. _‘I came to find my memories, but I found so much more,’_ he thought. _‘I can do this.’_

He squeezed Tony’s hand once. _‘Yes, go,’_ he thought, despite his fear. 

Tony pulled him into a hug and kissed his temple. “I’m right here. And if you need to stop, just say so, OK?” 

James nodded and wiped his hand on his jeans. 

“Jarvis,” Tony called softly, “show us the Winter Soldier.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


“Here,” Tony said, nudging his arm with a glass. “Looks like you need this.” 

James took the bourbon and slugged it back. He sighed and rolled the glass along his forehead and down his temple. _‘Well, now I know why I get those damn headaches,’_ he thought, only slightly hysterical. He pictured the iron crown he’d seen, metal tendrils growing _into_ his head, and shuddered. 

Tony flopped down next to him and filled up his glass again. He pushed a bunch of tools out of the way and set the bottle on the table in front of him. 

“So,” Tony said slowly, “that wasn’t so bad.” He winced. “What I mean is, yes, it looked bad, all that ice and whatever the hell that evil crown thing is, but, hey, you didn’t freak out. No flashbacks - that’s good, right?” 

James side-eyed him, drank the bourbon, and reached for the bottle. He poured another drink, then capped the bottle and set it aside. He might as well get this over with. If he was going to run into himself, he’d better be prepared. 

“Jarvis,” James called, voice rough, “are there any more images of him in the Book? The Winter Soldier?” 

“Yes, James,” Jarvis replied. “There are.” 

“You want to see them?” Tony asked. “Wasn’t that one enough?” 

James shook his head. “I want to know what I did. What they made me do. I need to know.” He could feel his hand trembling as he drank his bourbon. He set the empty glass firmly on the table. 

“I’m afraid I agree with Sir,” Jarvis replied. “The risk of triggering a flashback is too great right now. Waiting a few days might be prudent.” 

“Well, shit,” James said, and blew out a breath. He flopped backward and rolled into Tony’s side. 

“Yeah,” Tony said thoughtfully, throwing an arm around James and pulling him tight. 

The sat in silence for a moment. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony asked. 

“Nothing to talk about,” James said wearily. 

“You still don’t remember anything?” Tony asked. 

James shook his head. “Nope, still a blank,” he said. “Guess I should be thankful.” 

They sat leaning on each other, while Tony ran a hand through James’s hair. 

“OK,” Tony finally said, “you’ve seen that. Do you want to see what else I found?” He was nodding his head, obviously hoping for a ‘yes.’ 

“Yeah, sure,” James said, sitting up straighter, “I can tell you’re just dying to show me.” 

He rubbed his hands together in glee. “Jarvis, show us the image.” 

Jarvis put up a picture. James squinted and pulled it closer. The photo was blurry, but he could see that it was Tony. He was wearing some sort of ugly black armor, clutching a mask with cracked black goggles with one hand and a weird gun of some sort with the other. James had a feeling he knew where this was going. 

James turned around and looked at the armor hanging behind him. He turned back to the photo. “It looks sort of like your armor, but...” 

Tony sighed. “Yeah, I know. My armor is gorgeous. That stuff looks like something an evil fashion school dropout would make. It’s like the illegitimate child of a praying mantis and a gecko.” 

“Jarvis,” James asked, “when and where was this picture taken?” 

“The Book recorded this image on June 30 th, 1908, in Yeniseysk Governorate, Russian Empire,” Jarvis replied. 

“That’s how you knew you could time travel,” James said. “You saw this.” 

“Well, no, I figured it out from the data,” Tony said smugly. “Then I had Jarvis look in the Book for confirmation. So, see? This proves it - I obviously have time traveled. You know, just not yet.” 

“And what was all that talk about natural disasters? Were you just trying to throw Natasha off?” James asked. 

“No,” Tony answered. “Well, partly. I didn’t want to tell her the whole truth.” 

Tony pulled up a map. There was a huge cluster of bright spots over the Siberian location. 

“Tunguska?” James asked, “Why does that sound familiar?” 

Tony pulled up the info and slid it over to him. 

“Suspected meteor impact, but no crater,” James read aloud. “Estimated 150 petajoules of energy, actual cause debated...” 

He looked up at Tony eyes wide. “This is us? We somehow caused this?” 

“Yep,” Tony said. “Those dots? Each one represents a missing Angel. Since your guys couldn’t talk to the Book the way Jarvis can, they couldn’t put it together. The Angels may have disappeared one at a time, over a thousand years or so, but that? That is the last physical place the Book had contact with them. I’m betting we go back there, find the Angels and rescue them. And then you know - blow the whole place up.” He mimed a huge explosion. “Boowsh.” 

“But if we rescue them in 1908, where are...” he trailed off, and sighed. 

Tony was so excited he was practically jumping up and down. 

“Go ahead,” James said, rolling his eyes. “You know you want to say it.” 

“They’re not there,” Tony said, grinning like a maniac, “because we bring them _here_. We bring them – Back... to... _the Future_!” 

James smiled and nodded his head slowly. “Are you happy now?” he asked. 

“Yes, absolutely,” Tony said, perfectly serious. “Thank you.” 

“And we sneak in, do all this dressed as Hydra guards,” James said. 

“Well, me as a guard. I was thinking you go as the Winter Soldier,” Tony said. “If you think you can handle that. But if not, hey, guard works too.” 

James stared at him. “You know, Natasha was right,” James said. “That is the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.” He paused – – then slowly smirked. “Yeah, OK, let’s do it.” 

Tony grinned at him, then tackled him into the couch. 

“You know,” Tony said, as James started biting and licking along his neck, “I should have given you a tour of the house. Let’s start in the bedroom...” 

The rush of air where they’d been brought the bots over and Dummy whined mournfully as he looked for them under the couch. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 329: 18: 33 

  


Tony sat against the headboard, watching James sleep. He’d be waking up soon, and sleepy James cuddles were something Tony didn’t want to miss. _‘Who knows how many I’ll have left?’_ he thought sadly. Despite what he’d said to James and how confident he’d tried to sound, he knew Natasha was right. This whole plan was basically a suicide mission. He could tell James knew it too. But Tony was damned if he was going to sit by and do nothing while James slowly died. _‘Better to go out fighting and all that jazz,’_ he thought. 

He ran his hand softly down James arm, careful not to wake him. Tony stopped and pulled his hand away as he heard, no - _felt_ \- a soft buzz in his ear. 

“ _Excuse me, Sir,”_ Jarvis said softly inside his head, making him jump. 

“ _So, telepathy now, Jarvis?”_ Tony thought back. 

“ _It would seem so,”_ Jarvis replied. Tony’s eyebrow arched. He could almost feel a shade of amusement in Jarvis dry tone. _‘Interesting,’_ Tony thought. 

‘ _Wait, can you hear this?’_ Tony thought softly. “ _Did you hear that? Can you hear everything I’m thinking or just when I’m trying to project?”_

“ _I did not hear the first part of your inquiry,”_ Jarvis thought, _“So I assume I can only ‘hear’ what you wish me to.”_

“ _Neat,”_ Tony thought back. 

“ _Indeed,”_ Jarvis thought. _“I thought it prudent to test the telepathic aspect of the Book now. Once we are in the past I won’t be able to use my normal speaker system to communicate.”_

Tony ran his hand over his face. Yet another thing he hadn’t considered. 

“ _Can you speak telepathically to James, too?”_ Tony thought. 

“ _I believe so,”_ Jarvis answered. _“He is an Angel and therefore a natural telepath. However, he may not wish me to, given his history with the other Angels. I will discuss it with him tomorrow.”_

“ _Yeah,”_ Tony thought bitterly. _“Bunch a mind-raping assholes.”_ He didn’t want James to have to deal with something he hated if Tony could help it. 

“ _OK, how’s this,”_ Tony thought. _“Tomorrow we’ll see if I can rig up some kind of telepathy translator or communicator. Something that can turn your telepathy into sound. I mean, I felt vibrations when you first used the Book...”_

Tony scooted down and spooned in behind James. His mind already whirling through all the things he needed to do in the next two weeks. A communication system, modified armor for the both of them, extra palladium cores, weapons. The list seemed endless. “ _If we pull this off, it will be a miracle,”_ he thought. 

“ _Quite,”_ Jarvis solemnly agreed. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 330: 03: 12 

  


James stood on the bedroom balcony, and stretched his arm above his head, feeling the pull all down his back. He hadn’t felt this good in ages. _‘Too bad it won’t last,’_ he thought. 

Now that the initial excitement had worn off, he’d realized just how screwed they were. And the fact that Tony wanted to do this for him, well... 

He leaned forward and rested his arm on the railing, looking out over the ocean. The noontime winter sun was a nice change. The waves were frozen in place and instead of pigeons, there were a pair of sandpipers down on the small beach. 

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Tony started nibbling along his shoulder. 

“I like your house,” James said. “Well, what little I’ve seen of it.” 

Tony huffed a little and bit down harder, making James shiver. 

“Have I told you how much I love that you walk around naked all the time?” Tony asked. 

“Once or twice,” James said, spinning around to catch Tony in a kiss. 

“So, round seven?” Tony asked, when they finally broke apart. 

James shook his head. “No,” he said regretfully. “Well, maybe in a minute. I wanted to talk to you about something first.” 

“Well, that doesn’t sound good,” Tony said, frowning a bit. 

James reached out and gripped Tony’s shoulder. “You know you don’t have to-” he started. 

“No, stop,” Tony said, holding up a hand. “I absolutely have to do this. If there’s even a tiny chance we can save you, I’m going. Don’t think you can talk me out of it. If it was me, could I talk you out of it?” 

Tony glared, daring James to challenge him. James huffed through his nose. He knew he wasn’t going to win this fight. “You are the most stubborn person I know,” he finally said, throwing up his hand. “I think you might even be worse than Steve.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Tony said smiling. 

“Yeah, OK. I won’t try and talk you out of this,” James conceded. “But I want you to do me a favor, yeah? Can you try and cut back on the teleporting? I know it’s new and exciting. But there’s something about you using the Book that way. It just keeps giving me this really bad feeling. I can’t explain it, but-” 

“No, hey, if it bothers you,” Tony interrupted, “I can tone it down. No problem. I’ll only teleport for emergencies, how’s that?” 

James sighed in relief. “Yes, thanks. Thank you.” 

“Although,” Tony drawled, “I _was_ thinking of teleporting to Hong Kong. There’s this restaurant there that makes the best crispy orange duck. Are you sure you don’t want me to go get you some?” 

James pinched him and Tony laughed. “Food is not an emergency,” James said, “no matter how good it is.” 

Tony wiggled his eyebrows. “Depends on what you’re eating I guess...” he leered. 

‘ _Now there’s a challenge I don’t have to back down from,’_ James thought. He threw Tony over his shoulder before stalking back to the bedroom. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 335: 01: 26 

  


“How’s that? Try it now,” Tony said, stepping back to give James room. 

James flexed his new arm, and watched the black plates whir and align. He then flexed the fingers in turn, making a fist and letting it out. 

“Good, it’s better,” James said, feeling the motion through the sensor web against his skin. “Moves smoother.” 

“And it’s seated OK? Not too much pull on your shoulder?” Tony asked, checking the fit of the straps across James’s back. 

“No, it’s fine,” James said. “Well, I mean I feel it, but I can handle it.” 

“It will be better once it’s integrated into your armor. The armor will handle the entire thing. The straps are just for now, so you don’t have to wear the armor around the house,” Tony said, making another small adjustment inside the arm. 

“I know,” James said. “You told me.” James squinted down his nose, trying to see as Tony as he worked on the arm. 

Tony replaced the panel he’d removed. Once it was in place, James used the metal arm to pull Tony close and ran his new hand down Tony’s back. He could feel it through the built-in sensors. _‘Not as good as a real arm, but damn close,’_ James thought. 

Tony ran his hand up the metal arm and licked his lips. “You look so sexy wearing my tech,” he growled. 

James had agreed to the Winter Soldier armor, but not the crown. The very idea of that crown made him sick. Hopefully that would be good enough. So far Tony was doing a great job matching the design. 

James pulled Tony hard against him, the arm whirring as it moved. 

“Still a little noisy though,” James said, tipping his head to listen. “For some reason I think the one Hydra gave me was quieter. But this one looks good. Well, no, it looks ugly. What I meant is it looks just like the one in the picture.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony muttered. “Jarvis, add noise suppression to the list.” He stepped around behind James and gripped his hips, turning him toward a steel panel propped against the wall. 

“OK,” he whispered in James ear, “try the repulsor. Give it a shot.” 

James raised his arm, and flicked his wrist and heard the whine as the palm repulsor charged. He fired and his arm jerked back, elbowing Tony. 

“Sorry, sorry,” James said, spinning around. “You gave it more kick. I wasn’t ready for it. You OK?” 

Tony rubbed his ribs and grinned. “Oh, yeah. That is one sexy beast,” he purred. “Just like you.” 

James swatted Tony’s ass with his new metal hand. From the way Tony smiled James was pretty sure he’d found Tony’s new kink. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 338: 16: 39 

  


“You know,” Tony said quietly, “I’ve wondered why your hair doesn’t grow. I mean, it always stays the same length. Natasha changed her hair, what, every 10 minutes? Maybe when you get your Grace back, you can grow yours out. I’d love to brush it, maybe braid it. You’d look so sexy with a chainlink braid.” Tony ran his fingers along James scalp and secured his hair into a short ponytail. He ran his hand down James’s back, trying to sooth him. 

James just huffed, and hung onto the toilet harder. He was pale and shaking. _‘At least he quit throwing up. And hey, no flashbacks,’_ Tony thought, trying to look at the bright side. He floated a glass of water from the kitchen and set it down next to James. 

James rinsed out his mouth and spit into the toilet. Tony sighed. The return of James’s nightmares had to be a bad sign. They were running out of time. 

“I didn’t know Angels could throw up,” James huffed, leaning back against the wall. He put his head against the tiles and closed his eyes. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tony asked quietly. 

James grimaced, took a drink of water. “I dreamed I was fighting Steve,” he said. “Everything around us was on fire, and I just kept hitting and hitting him in the face. He kept trying to talk to me, but I wouldn’t listen. And then I just reached out and touched him with my left hand, and he sort of crumbled into this pile of goo.” 

“That is a weird dream,” Tony said, “but it was just a dream.” 

“But it felt so real,” James rasped. “What if it’s a memory? What if I really did kill him?” 

“Umm, I’m not saying it’s not a memory of some sort,” Tony said. “But I just saw him last week, making pizza with Clint. And hey, even if you did kill him, I’m sure he forgives you.” 

James rolled his eyes and Tony relaxed a bit. 

Tony stood up and held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. James let Tony haul him to his feet. 

“Besides,” Tony said, “whatever you may have done, Hydra made you do it. It wasn’t your fault.” 

James brushed his teeth while Tony sat on the counter. 

So,” Tony said, “here’s my plan. First, some much needed cuddling. Second, we go to the secure vault at Stark Industries and load up on a shitload of weapons to go with our new ugly ass armor.” 

James spit and rinsed. “So that’s your answer? Cuddling and revenge?” he asked skeptically. 

“I like to stick with the classics,” Tony said brightly before leading them back to bed. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 341: 00: 00 

  


“Excuse me, Sirs,” Jarvis said, “It is now TonyTime Day 341. The end of day message count brings the total number of messages from Ms. Romanova to 1,492.” 

“Anything new, J?” Tony said, looking up from the weld he was making. 

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “There are several messages in today’s batch that are in languages with no earthly equivalent.” Jarvis paused. “Also, in addition to the usual threats and imprecations, she does say ‘Have fun storming the castle!,’ as well as ‘Thank You’ for the fish tacos that you sent her.” 

Tony huffed a laugh. 

James looked up at from where he was stripping and cleaning the guns. “I thought we agreed no unnecessary teleporting?” he said. 

“Oh, it was necessary,” Tony said. “Very necessary.” 

James shook his head in mock despair. “You just like poking the bear, don’t you?” he groused. “You just can’t help yourself.” 

Tony just hummed and got back to work. James knew him so well. 

‘ _But hopefully not too well,’_ Tony thought sadly. He knew this mission was probably going to go wrong, even with Jarvis and Book helping. His overactive brain had run every scenario he could think of, and most of them ended in disaster. But he wasn’t going to let James down. Not the way he’d let Yinsen down. He _had_ to make sure James survived this. No matter what. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 344: 18: 55 

  


“So, tomorrow’s the big day,” James said quietly. He leaned on the railing, watching the frozen waves. 

“Yep,” Tony said just as quietly, leaning into his side. 

“Well, I guess we better make today count,” James said. 

Tony hummed in agreement. He bent down and picked James up, carrying him to the bedroom princess style. 

“Show off!” James yelled in outrage, but he was laughing even before Tony threw him on the bed and started tickling him. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 346: 01: 04 

  


James checked his gear over one more time. He hefted the weapons bag over his shoulder and nodded. _‘It’s now or never,’_ he thought. 

James looked over to Tony, who was wearing his new armor, inelegant and painted black now, instead of the sleek, joyous gold and red. He really hoped they made it through this. He wanted to see it the way it was supposed to look. He wanted to see Tony fly, a red and gold phoenix. 

Tony settled the gear bag on his shoulder and then grasped James’s hand tight. 

Tony summoned the Tablet. “You all set in there Jarvis?” he asked. 

“I believe so, Sir,” Jarvis answered. “I am sure I will remain in the Book even as you travel to the past. I will maintain communication through your sub-dermal transmitters and reserve telepathy for a last resort. The Book and I are aware of James’s reluctance to use it.” 

James smiled, tight and sharp. “Thanks Jarvis, Book,” he murmured. 

Tony leaned in and gave James a quick kiss. It was awkward with the armor in the way, but at least they were the same height now. 

Tony held out the Book. “OK,” he said, voice starting low and gaining in volume. “You know where we need to go, Jarvis, Book. You know the time and the place we need to be. So, I don’t want you to Show us. I want you to Take us. Take both of us to Hydra. Take us to the Answers. Take us where and when we need to go!” 

This time the light from the Book poured through Tony. James had enough Grace left that he didn’t need to shield his eyes. The light enveloped Tony, making him shine like an Angel. His eyes glowed blue, as blue as the core of the reactors he’d made. 

The room spun, and they were gone. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Natasha jerked, the tablet dropping from her hands. 

She felt it, the instant Tony and James left this time frame. Because suddenly the Future snapped into focus. 

She closed her eyes and Looked. 

Natasha sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Tony had been wrong, and yet right. The future _was_ in the past, but the reason she hadn’t been able to See it was because of Tony and Bucky themselves. Somehow, they’d become sand in the gears of Time. As long as they were present, nothing could be Foreseen or _Fixed_ for that matter. As far as Time was concerned, it was as if they’d become Chaos personified. She might as well paint them Tardis blue. 

_God_ _damn_ _that man,’_ she thought. _‘How does he_ _do_ _these things?’_

She closed her eyes and Looked again. 

‘ _Oh, fuck me,’_ she thought. She narrowed her eyes. _‘Why do I keep forgetting about the third member of this unholy trinity?’_ Once again, she’d been focused on Tony when she should have been Looking at his son. 

“Jarvis,” she said flatly, “when this is over, I think you and I need to have a long talk.” 

“Of course, Natasha,” Jarvis replied. “I would be happy to. But first I think you have a choice to make.” 

Natasha sat back and Looked. Then she sighed. This wasn’t about Seeing. It was about feeling. For the first time in her now eternal life she had an actual choice in her own future. Just what did she _want_ to do? Which future did she want for herself? _‘Well, that’s easy,’_ she though. 

Decision made, she twisted her hand and pulled a silver whistle out of the air. She blew a short blast, then another. 

She looked around. “Where the hell is that-” 

Lucky teleported in, jumping up and licking her face. She shoved him off and looked at her hands. They were covered in something sticky and red. Just like Lucky. 

“Oh my god,” she said, lip curling. “Is that barbecue sauce?” She wiped her hands on Tony’s couch. 

“I need to go back,” she told Lucky, careful to speak clearly. “I need you to stay here and keep this time sink open. It’s still connected to Stark, so keep it open, no matter what happens. Got it? You Stay!” 

Lucky sat down and waved a foot. It would have to do. 

She paused, hand on the television. “Jarvis,” she called. “Thank you. For giving me a Choice.” 

“It was my pleasure, Natasha,” Jarvis replied. 

Natasha turned on the TV and stepped through. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James felt the world jerk and spin. He knew they were moving through space and time. He could feel it with the little Grace he had left. 

The world stopped spinning and they were suddenly somewhere else. 

James looked around, face creasing in a frown. _‘This feels familiar,’_ the thought. 

“You alright, James?” Tony asked softly. “Book? Jarvis? Everybody’s molecules in the right place?” 

James gave a short nod, already moving to look over the room. ‘ _This is a very bad room’_ whispered through his mind, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

“We are both quite all right, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “Please just remember that while Book did not recall any alarms or sensors within the base, you are still vulnerable to physical detection.” 

Tony nodded, already distracted. James could tell he was already drooling over all of Hydra’s more advanced and unfamiliar tech. 

James ignored the tech for a moment and took in the layout of the room. The overhead lights were off, but there was a lot of equipment running, lighting the room with a soft glow. 

The lab was fairly large, with a door to his right and an archway to his left. There was a large observation window in the walls in front of him, but he couldn’t see what it looked out on. Even with his night vision, all he could see was ceiling space and a lot of wires and conduits. _‘Maybe this is a second floor observation area?’_ he thought. Somehow that felt right. _‘Yellow eyes always watching,’_ floated up from the back of his mind, making him start. 

Before he could step closer to the windows, Tony left his side and cautiously approached the archway, his black armor making hardly a sound. 

James moved behind him. The archway was a wall of darkness. And not just from an absence of light. There was another time sink beyond the archway, off-set from this one and it blocked all his senses. Peering over Tony’s shoulder, he could see what was connecting the two separate time spaces. A golden arrow, suspended at shoulder height with the back half of the arrow on this side and the front disappearing into the distortion where the time sinks collided. James frowned. _‘Now there’s an off-book use for a True Love’s Arrow,’_ he thought. 

“OK, now that’s weird,” Tony said softly, reaching for the arrow. 

James quickly grabbed his elbow, stopping him. “Don’t,” James whispered. “Don’t touch it. It’s a gateway to another time sink. Touch that and who knows where you’ll end up.” 

James could see the blue flare in Tony’s eyes as Jarvis changed his vision. 

“Whoah,” Tony said smiling. “Will you look at that. I can see time flowing around this.” He waved his fingers, tracing the flow where the two time sinks collided. 

“We’re in a time sink now,” Tony said. “Why would they need _another_ time sink? And why is that one running slightly faster than this one?” 

James narrowed his eyes. He didn’t know, but he had this feeling... He shook his head. If all he did was stand around having d _éjà vu_ , they’d never find his Grace or the Angels. Time to concentrate and get some answers. 

They both stepped back from the arch and started examining the lab in more detail. 

“Do you know what any of this is? Can you use it?” Tony asked quietly. Tony had already retracted his gauntlets and was running his fingers over the equipment on the table. He had that expression on his face - that ‘I’ve got a tech boner’ face. 

James snorted. _‘Even sneaking into a hidden base on a rescue mission, he needs to know how everything works,’_ he thought fondly. 

James ran his hands over a familiar display. He knew this. Not from when he’d been kidnapped. He knew this from... 

“This tech,” James said slowly. “A lot of this is Asgardian.” 

His eye caught on a display on the next table over. He walked over and brushed his hand over a white crystal. A holographic display sprang up. 

James started scrolling through the file menu. Tony squeezed in next to him to read along. James zeroed in on what looked like a catalog of lab notes and projects. He found what he was looking for and expanded the view. 

“Project Winter Soldier: The Effect of Tesseract-Stabilized Zero Matter on Angelic Grace,” James read the name of the main file aloud. 

He thumbed through the sub files, frowning. _‘There’s something here. Something I should see...’_ he thought. He stopped over one of the earliest files, one that felt promising. 

It read ‘Project Winter Solider: Angelic Regenerative Abilities while Under the Effects of Tesseract-Stabilized Zero Matter.’ 

James hand hovered over the file, unsure whether he should play it. He’d thought a lot in the last two weeks about what he would do in this situation. He’d looked at the images in the Book, trying to come to terms with it. 

Turns out that nothing had really prepared him for this moment. He glanced over at Tony. Tony just smiled a little, patiently waiting for his decision. Tony, who’d followed him into the past, just because he loved him. 

“What the hell is a tesseract? Or zero matter?” James asked, still hesitating. 

Tony frowned. “A tesseract is a fourth dimensional-” 

James turned back to the display. “Yeah, fuck it,” he said quickly. “Let’s just watch it.” 

He stabbed his finger onto the file. 

The 3-D file played, opening on a small, mousey little man, clutching a gray three-ring binder. He waved his hand and the binder vanished. 

James felt that a familiar rush and click in his brain. At least this time there wasn’t any pain to go with it. 

Tony hit pause on the video. 

“Was that-” Tony asked. 

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis said. “That was the Book. The man holding it is-” 

“Zola,” James said flatly. “His name is Arnim Zola.” 

“You remember him?” Tony asked. 

“I do now,” James said tightly. “Well, a little.” And what he remembered wasn’t good. He swallowed, and squeezed his hands into fists, trying to calm his nerves. He focused on the way his new hand moved. The hand Tony had made for him. 

“If I remember right,” James said slowly, “Zola’s a talker. Always jabbering, using ten words when one would do.” 

He started the video again, with the sound muted, forwarding through Zola talking. Then he fast forwarded some more, until Zola wound down and the video moved from a close-up to a wide angle view of the room. 

It was a lab similar to the one they were in now with a table in the middle. And there was Past James, naked and thrashing against the glowing silver chains that tied him to the table. Even with the sound off, it was horribly obvious that he was screaming. There was no sign of the black crown he’d worn in the photos. 

James moved to raise the volume on the video, but Tony grabbed his hand. He shook his head. James nodded. Whatever was about to happen, they were probably better off with the sound muted. _‘And not just so no one overhears us in here,’_ he thought nervously. 

They both stared as Zola moved over to James, talking the whole time. The expression on his face was gloating as he stroked a hand down James left arm. Tony made a choked off sound and twisted his wrist and fingers in a circular motion, as if he were fantasizing about putting a repulsor blast through Zola’s head. 

James eyes snapped back to the screen, where Zola had produced some sort of wand. It was hooked up to a console with heavy gauge wire. He pushed a button and a blue energy blade appeared. _‘Tesseract blue,’_ the thought suddenly jumped into James mind. 

Zola bent over James’s past self and slowly cut off his left arm at the shoulder. It fell to the ground before vanishing in a swirl of golden light. 

James felt everything go numb as he watched. He felt hot and cold at the same time. Tony reached out to grab his hand, squeezing hard. 

James couldn’t turn to reassure him. He couldn’t look away from the video. 

The James on the table was screaming, his face twisted in agony. He seemed to be struggling with something, fighting an invisible force. And then he abruptly stopped. His face went slack as ice began to form on his shoulder. The ice quickly spread down the table and over the equipment. 

Past James’s eyes flashed over to black and a new limb began to materialize, growing down from his shoulder. But it looked nothing like a flesh and blood arm. It was black and shiny, and whatever it was made from was twisting, writhing, like thick black oil or smoke forced to take the shape of an arm. 

The chains holding past James to the table shattered like so much dust. He snapped his new arm out and grabbed one of Zola’s technicians. The tech didn’t even have time to scream before he fractured and fell apart, like a liquid nitrogen-dipped slug slamming onto a table. 

Another technician met the same fate as the room dissolved into chaos. Ice began to cover the room. Zola could be seen fleeing just before whatever machine was recording frosted over and shut off. 

Tony looked up from the display. James just closed his eyes, breathing hard. Thinking about what he’d just seen. 

Tony sighed, and moved in closer. “Hey, hey, you OK?” he asked, squeezing James hand once. 

James didn’t say anything, but he squeezed back twice. He could handle this. _‘Although, maybe I can see why the others blanked my memory,’_ he thought, emotions whipsawing. 

Tony kept holding his hand and running a thumb over his knuckles, trying to distract him. 

“You’re really brave, you know?’ Tony said softly. “Being able to watch that? I’m not sure I could do that. And hey, look on the bright side. That obviously didn’t go well for them. I mean, yeah, I’ve had experiments go bad, but at least none of my creations have outright tried to kill me...” 

“At least not yet, Sir,” Jarvis said dryly. 

James puffed a small breath out. Almost a laugh. He opened his eyes and turned, and gave Tony a weak, watery smile. 

“So,” James said shakily, “I’m guessing that’s what happens when you try and regrow an arm while you’ve got an evil crystal shard in you. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have enough Grace left to do that.” 

“I hate to say it,” Tony agreed, “but, yeah, good thing.” 

James thought of his flashbacks and blanched. What if he’d used that arm on Tony? He shook his head, and cleared his throat. He didn’t want to think about it. 

“Do you think that’s why Hydra removed my Grace? They couldn’t control the arm?” James asked. “Why not just get rid of me altogether?” 

“I don’t know-” Tony started. He stopped and listened. 

There were footsteps on the other side of the door. It sounded like someone climbing a set of metal stairs. 

James eyes widened and they looked around for somewhere to hide. 

“This way,” Tony hissed, pulling James over to the archway. “I don’t know where this goes, but I’ve got the Book. I can teleport us back if I have to.” 

James nodded and let go of Tony’s hand. He touched the end of the gold arrow, and stepped through the arch, feeling time and place shift around him. 

He lurched a little as his feet landed on an uneven floor. Wherever he was, it was cold. Beyond cold and pitch black. But he had enough Grace left to see what was there. 

He heard Tony move into the room beside him. 

“Oh, holy shit,” Tony whispered. “It’s freezing in here...” 

Tony trailed off as his eyes fired up blue, finally able to see what James was seeing. 

They were in a small stone cave with rough walls and floor. Everything was covered in inches of ice. Massive icicles descended from the ceiling and a heavy rime of frost covered every surface. 

Including the figure standing in the center of the room. 

James felt Tony reach out and grasp his shoulder. Warmth spread out from Tony’s hand. 

James didn’t acknowledge him. He just stood there, staring. 

Staring at himself. 

The Winter Soldier blinked once, dislodging the frost from his eyelids. He slowly opened his flat black eyes. 

And James could See into him. 

The Winter Soldier in all his twisted glory – armed and armored, and full of poisoned Grace. 

  



	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic Violence, Flashbacks, Past Torture, Dissociation, Language
> 
> Here is today’s second chapter!
> 
> And a huge ‘Thank You’ to [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for beta’ing these last two chapters, even though you were super busy! :)

  


**Chapter 30**

  


Tony pushed James behind him with one arm and threw the other up in front of them, the repulsor charging. 

But the Winter Soldier didn’t move. He just stood there, an unblinking statue. His alien left arm was covered in the same armor as the rest of him, and all of him was frosted over with ice. 

Tony slowly lowered his arm. _‘What the hell...’_ he thought. 

“What are my orders?” the Winter Soldier rasped. His voice sounded like he hadn’t spoken in a hundred years. _‘Maybe he hasn’t,’_ Tony thought. _‘Who knows how long he’s been standing there.’_

“What is my mission?” The Winter Soldier’s black eyes focused on Tony like a laser. 

“Why does he keep saying that?” Tony whispered. 

“If I may, Sir,” Jarvis said, “that is the effect of the Crown. It was designed to allow the holder of the Book to control him telepathically.” 

Tony sighed. “Of course it does,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He remembered James’s flashback, when he’d stopped attacking Lucky on Tony’s order. _‘Well, that makes more sense now,’_ he thought. 

Tony glanced to the side. James was still staring at Winter, and he was so, so pale. 

The last thing Tony wanted was to be responsible for the Winter Soldier. How was it going to make James feel to see Tony ordering his past self around? James had been stripped of his agency for so long, and now Tony was going to be a part of that. 

But he needed to do something before they ended up as meat-flavored Slushies. 

“Fuck, fuck...OK, first order,” Tony said firmly, locking eyes with Winter. “Do not hurt or kill either of us. Ever. Got it? Don’t even think about it. We’re your friends. No hurting friends.” 

Winter blinked twice. “Mission parameter understood,” he rasped. 

“Good, great...” Tony muttered, relaxing a little, and his eyes caught on Winter’s Crown. James had refused to wear a replica - he couldn’t give a reason, but the very idea of it had almost made him panic. Now Tony could see why. 

The Crown was _alive_. The spikes and thorns were moving - jerking slowly like the spines on an urchin. The tendrils growing into his temples pulsed, slowly writhing. The sight of it made Tony nauseous. _‘It’s like he’s king of some Lovecraftian prom,’_ he thought. 

“His wings,” James choked, jerking Tony out of his thoughts. “Look at his wings...” 

The heads-up display generated by the Book changed again, and Tony wished it hadn’t. Because now, for the first time, Tony could see an Angel’s wings. Natasha didn’t have any, and James’s were gone. 

But Winter’s – he could tell they had once been white. Now they were a dismal, dirty gray with large patches of black. The feathers were broken and torn. The left wing twisted and drooped, the end trailing on the ground. A thick, viscous black oil dripped from the tips of the primary feathers in slow heavy drops, disappearing before they hit the ground. 

Tony remembered what James had told him. That wings were a metaphysical manifestation of an Angel’s Grace, their version of a soul. Winter might have all his Grace, but if those wings were any indication, it was certainly broken. _‘No,’_ Tony thought, _‘it looks like his Grace is rotting.’_ For once he was glad he hadn’t said that out loud. 

Tony frowned, dismissing the display that let him see the wings. He didn’t need to see that anymore. _‘Or ever, actually,’_ he thought. 

Beside him James made a choked off noise. “He still has _all_ of his Grace,” he whispered. 

“ _Gra-a-ce_ ,” Winter echoed, his voice sounding as if it were forced over broken glass. 

Tony felt something twist in his chest and a rush of emotion shot through him. It felt like a banshee keening, a stab of guilt and sorrow. 

He tried to grab his chest, but all he could feel was the ice cold surface of his armor. 

“Tony?” James asked. “You OK!? What happened?” He grabbed Tony’s elbows to steady him, trying to keep his eyes on Winter at the same time. 

“I am sorry, Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “This is harder on Book than we anticipated. Seeing the results of their handiwork, now that they are able to understand what it means, has been most upsetting to them. We do apologize. Please allow me a moment to speak with them.” 

The feeling cut off and Tony sagged in relief. _‘Bad enough I’ve got my own feelings here,’_ he thought. _‘Don’t need Book’s, too.’_

Tony rubbed his hand absently over his chest, fingers tapping on the black reactor cover. “Yeah, OK,” he said. “Thanks, Jarvis. And ah, it’s OK, Book. We’re not mad at you. We know you didn’t do this on your own.” 

“Guess the Book is having a Visitation to its own Christmas Past, huh?” James huffed, wiping at his eyes. “Kinda ironic when you think about it.” 

Tony smiled. “Yeah, I guess so. I was so worried about _you_ seeing your past self, I forgot that Book would be doing the same thing.” 

“Yeah, no,” James said, shaking his head. “It’s not the same for me. That’s not _really_ me.” 

“ _Me_ ,” Winter droned with a voice like gravel, making them both jump. 

“Why does he keep repeating what I say?” James said, running a hand through his hair and pulling on the ends. 

“I believe that to be a side effect of the Crown,” Jarvis said. “In addition to transmitting his handler’s commands, it seems to impair his ability to block telepathy. Since you and he share a mind, I believe some of your thoughts are being transmitted to him, especially when you are emoting strongly.” 

“So,” James snarled, his eyes wide and breathing hard, “while I’m here he’s going to be like, what - some sort of giant fucking _parrot_ _?_ ” 

Tony could see James shivering, although whether it was from the cold or shock he couldn’t say. He reached out, cupping the side of James’s face. 

“ _Little help here, Jarvis?”_ he thought. Jarvis didn’t answer, but warmth spread from the center of Tony’s chest and through his hand into James. 

“Hey, James, sweetheart,” Tony said. “We’re safe here. Well, safe-ish. Let’s sit a minute and regroup, OK?” 

He gripped James shoulder and steered him over to the side of the room. Tony used the Force to push a mass of ice and frost out of the way, clearing a space to sit and trying hard not to think about the fact that this was a cave. _‘This must be that secondary site in the Alps,’_ he thought. 

He dropped the gear bag and took the weapons bag from James, setting them down. 

“Here,” Tony said. “Sit.” 

James sighed and sat down, the joints of his armor creaking. 

Winter mirrored his move, the ice on his armor shattering and falling away in chunks as he lowered himself to the floor. 

James gave Winter a look that would have frozen him if he wasn’t already colder than ice. 

“OK... Winter,” Tony said, slowly, as he sat down next to James. “I meant for me and James to sit, but hey, if you want to, that’s fine.” 

“You have the Book,” James snapped. “So you’re controlling him. He has to do everything you say. You said ‘sit’ so he sat.” 

“Well, fuck,” Tony said. “What if... Winter - how’s this? From now on, if it’s an order, I’ll specifically use that word - ‘order.’ And if it’s not a direct order, you can do whatever you want as long as it won’t harm either myself, James, or our current mission.” 

Tony could swear that Winter narrowed his eyes a little as he thought it over. He’d thought at first that Winter’s face was as flat and blank as a doll’s, but now Tony wasn’t so sure. He was starting to see small movements. Micro-expressions. 

“Mission parameters understood,” Winter finally replied. “Mandatory commands will be proceeded by the word ‘order.’ Do not jeopardize the mission.” 

James turned his head and stared at Tony, wide eyed. “Are you serious?” he asked flatly. “Don’t you think that’s a little ambiguous? Cause we haven’t done enough of _that_ lately.” He reached into the gear bag and grabbed a bottle of water. Tony saw that James used his left hand, clutching his right hard against his leg. Probably to stop the shaking. 

“Eh,” Tony said, shrugging as much as his armor allowed, “It’s worked for us so far. So I give the Winter Soldier a little free will. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

James choked a bit, and then finished his water. “Oh, nothing bad, I’m sure,” he said sarcastically. “But I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ when you say ‘Oops.’” 

“Duly noted,” Tony laughed. He dug into the bag and grabbed an energy drink, one of the cherry flavored ones James liked. He threw the bottle to Winter, who caught it without taking his eyes of Tony. 

“Here, drink that,” Tony said; testing. 

Winter stared at the bottle, than back to Tony. 

“If you want to,” Tony said. “You sound like your throat is dry.” 

Winter stared at the bottle, then twisted off the cap. He took a sip, then chugged the whole thing. He looked up at Tony. “Is it sweet?” he asked, definitely puzzled. It was the first hint of emotion he’d shown. 

James made a noise half way between a moan and a whimper. He threw his empty water bottle against the wall of the cave. “Fuck, fuck, shit,” he rasped, digging his fingers into his head. 

Tony remembered that first day with James, when he gave James the cookies, and closed his eyes. “Fuck,” he said, echoing James. He reached out and grabbed James hand. 

“James, hey, honey,” Tony said. “Look at me. Take a deep breath.” He took one too. Being in this cave wasn’t doing him any favors - he wasn’t feeling all that steady either. 

James locked eyes with Tony and took a couple deep breaths. They both leaned forward until their foreheads touched, just breathing until Tony finally felt James relax. _‘Success,’_ Tony thought. _‘Panic attacks averted.’_

“Sorry,” James finally muttered. “Sorry about that. I just wasn’t ready to see him with all his Grace. Or to see those wings. And then when he said that...” 

“Not a problem,” Tony said and gave James a quick kiss. “You’re doing great.” 

“Yeah, right,” James said scornfully, leaning back and rubbing his right hand over his face. “I thought I was ready for this. Guess I was wrong.” 

“Trust me,” Tony said. “There is no way in the world to prepare for this scenario. You are doing amazing. Better than amazing. I’d be a gibbering wreck by now, if I was meeting my evil twin face to face.” 

“Yeah, bullshit,” James snorted. “I’ve seen you handle Angels, time travel - all my shit. Fuck, you went toe to toe with Natasha! No way an evil twin tops _that_.” 

“Well,” Tony allowed, scratching his chin, “you might have a point. And now that I think about it, I do have a _stunningly_ handsome goatee. So naturally _I’d_ be the evil twin. Maybe I should get a head start – make some plans for taking over the multi-verse, or, you know seducing myself? One or the other...” 

James rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh. It was weak, but Tony’d take it. The both sat for a moment, and Tony leaned back on his arms, studying Winter. 

‘ _Now what? We’re inside the base, well a closet anyway – ha! Winter Storage! - but we still need info,’_ he thought. And if Winter still had James’s Grace, how were they going to get it into James? He hadn’t been prepared for that, and it brought up some disturbing ideas. Ideas he was sure James wasn’t ready to face. 

And what the hell were they going to do with Winter? Tony didn’t want to leave him here, now that they’d found him. It didn’t feel right. James seemed to be handling it better, now that he’d gotten over his initial shock. Maybe... 

Tony turned to James, but James held up a hand to stop him. “I know what you’re thinking, Tony,” he said. “And it’s a bad idea.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “And just what-” 

“You think we should take him with us,” James said. James started ticking point off on his fingers. “You think he can help us destroy the lab, kill Zola and whoever else is in charge, find the Bright Angels-” 

“Retrieve Bright Angels for Project: Armageddon,” Winter recited. “Incapacitate and deliver them to Dr. Zola. Do not cause permanent damage. Do not destroy their Grace.” 

“OK,” Tony said slowly. “Thanks. Thanks, Winter.” 

Tony turned to James. “Sooo,” he said, “Project: Armageddon that sounds bad, but no permanent damage? That’s got to be good, right?” 

James shook his head, face anguished. “Yeah, pretty sure no one comes out all right once they’ve been delivered to Zola, no matter what condition they started in. Look what happened to him.” He waved his hand at Winter. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. The fact that James was disassociating himself from Winter couldn’t be good, could it? Was it denial or something more? Or maybe it was the only way to deal with this. What kind of shape would he be in if he’d magically been transported to Afghanistan and seen himself being tortured in real-time? 

Tony sighed and ran a hand over his face. _‘This is so fucked up._ _We need to finish this, the sooner the better,’_ he thought. _‘And when this is over, we’re both going to need_ _so_ _much therapy.’_

“Jarvis,” Tony said, “you and Book all right to keep going?” 

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “We have everything under control now.” 

“OK, great,” Tony said. “So how about this? First, I think we should use Winter’s room here as a base of operations. If we get in trouble or get separated, we meet back here. It’s as good a hiding spot as any. And two, we’ve got a name – Project: Armageddon. We go read Zola’s files, see what’s what. And see if we can find a file on how to remove the chip.” 

James sighed and levered himself to his feet. He reached out and pulled Tony up. Winter somehow went straight from sitting to standing with nothing in between. 

James looked at Tony and sighed. “Just promise me something, OK?” 

“Anything,” Tony said quietly. 

“When this is all over, I want to go somewhere warm. A tropical island,’ James said wistfully. “Somewhere where the only ice I’ll ever see is in the drinks.” 

Tony smiled and grabbed his face with both hands. He kissed James once, then again. “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, “I know just the place.” 

James stepped back, grabbed the weapons bag, and threw it over his shoulder. 

“And you’re bringing him?” James asked, tipping his head at Winter. 

“No,” Tony shook his head. “He can come if he wants to, but I’m not going to order him. He’s had enough orders.” 

Tony turned to Winter. “You got that?” he said. “You can stay here, or come with us and help us. But it’s up to you. Your choice.” 

James ran his hand over his face, muttering. 

Tony snorted and waved a finger. “No negative waves, James,” he said. 

If Tony hadn’t been looking he’d have missed it. Winter’s mouth twitched. Not a smile, but something close to it. 

‘ _This is going to be such a_ _beautiful_ _disaster,’_ Tony thought, smiling, as he stepped toward the arch and the lab in Tunguska. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony got as far as popping his head into the lab space before he spun around. 

James took a step back and almost collided with Winter. He froze. The last thing James wanted to do was touch him. It was bad enough that Winter was coming with them. 

“What is it?” James asked. “What’s wrong?” 

“Ah,” Tony said. “Change of plans. There’s someone in the lab.” 

“Who?” James asked, dreading the answer. 

“Zola,” Tony said, looking at James. “You going to be OK seeing him?” 

James thought about it. “Yeah, I think so,” he said. He’d used up all his shock at seeing Winter. He could certainly handle Zola. Hopefully. 

“You sure?” Tony asked. “We can wait-” 

“I said I’m all right!” James snapped. 

“OK, great,” Tony said brightly. “New plan! Let’s grab Zola and beat some answers out of him instead.” 

James took a step to the side, around Winter. He dropped the weapons bag and started pulling out guns. And knives. Then he began strapping them on. _‘Oh, and grenades, can’t forget those,_ he thought. _‘Probably don’t need the high explosives yet...’_ He had a brief vision of stuffing a grenade in Zola’s face and smiled. 

“You think you need _all_ of those?” Tony asked. “Zola’s just one guy, and we’ve got the three of us, plus Jarvis.” 

“Yeah,” James grunted, checking the magazine on the Stark S424. “I absolutely do. If _he’s_ coming with us, I don’t need to pass as the Winter Soldier. So I can take as many guns as I damn well feel like.” 

Tony held up his hands in surrender. “Yeah, sure,” he said, “no problem. Good idea.” 

“Besides, are you sure _Winter_ ,” James snarled the name, “is on _our_ side? Zola has the Book too. Won’t he just use it? Turn him against us?” 

“I am certain that I can override Zola’s command of the Winter Soldier,” Jarvis said. “It will not be a problem.” 

Winter watched James closely, his black eyes tracking every move James made. James tried not to shudder. He hated those eyes on him. 

Once he’d geared up, James moved both bags to the side. They could come back for them later. 

James looked up and stepped in front of Winter again. He wanted to keep himself between Winter and Tony, just for safety’s sake. Despite the order Tony had given Winter, James didn’t trust him. 

“Ready,” he said, nodding to Tony. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

They stepped through the arch, jumping back to the lab. 

Zola looked up from table where he was working, eyes going wide. He didn’t even have time to twitch before Tony had used the Force to pin him to the wall hard, making the window rattle in its frame. 

Zola’s eyes flared white, just for a second. A look of astonishment came over his face. 

“I have overridden Zola’s ability to command Past-Book,” Jarvis said. “He will no longer be able to access its power directly.” 

Tony looked at James. “You OK?” he asked softly. 

James nodded, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Zola. _‘Shit, why did I think this would be easier than seeing Winter?’_ he thought. _‘Shit, shit...’_

Tony started crossing over to Zola, but stopped at the table where Zola had been sitting. 

He picked up a black mask and a gun from the table and did a quick fist pump. He spun around, holding the mask in one hand, gun in the other. 

Just like the photo they’d seen back in Malibu. An image seen by Past-Book through Zola’s eyes. 

Tony put the things down and glanced back at James. His look of triumph morphed into one of concern. 

James realized his hands were clenched, his breath coming faster. He tried to relax, nodding to let Tony know he was OK, but it was hard. Even with the reassurance that this had all happened before, that they were on the right track, he still felt on edge. He hated seeing Tony anywhere near Zola. The sight was making his skin crawl. 

Tony started to walk back toward him, but James shook his head. He could do this. 

Tony must have understood. He turned back toward Zola jaw tight, body tense. Tony leaned in, placing his hands on either side of Zola’s face. 

“OK, listen up, Buttercup,” he said lowly. “This is how this is going to go. We’re going to be asking you some questions, and you’re going to answer them. Simple straightforward answers. Got it? I’m going to let your jaw go. Don’t make me regret it.” 

Zola’s eyes were wide and he started talking the instant Tony freed his mouth. 

“This is impossible!” he whined. “You cannot be here! How did you-” Zola’s eyes jumped past Tony to lock onto James. And then he smiled, a crooked evil thing. 

“I see you still have the gift I gave you, James,” Zola smirked. “Tell me, how long has it been? A few years, yes? How do you feel? Were my _calculations_ correct? You must let me know.” 

And just like that, James felt something snap. His shoulder throbbed with cold and a screaming pain shot into his brain. He could see Tony’s face, but it seemed to be further away every second, and that _voice_. Zola’s voice was all he could hear. That voice droning on and on and on, in between the cold and dark... year after year, and the pain, the pain and the... _and the procedure has already started... and you see we’ve already won...you cannot escape your fate...not even your death can halt it now..._

And he was back, back on the table, and the silver chains were burning hot, or maybe he was the one who was cold, and it hurt, the pain was blinding, trying to fight the thing Zola had put in him, something so cold it was burning him up, eating his Grace, consuming it, and always Zola’s face hovering over him, always Zola’s voice... 

_“...so disappointed in you, James, you’ve resisted my gift for far longer than I had anticipated. How is that possible, I wonder? The pain must be immense. You can feel it, can’t you, what it’s doing to you? Fusing to your Grace. You may as well accept it, give in to it. It will always be a part of you. Even if I were to remove it now, I think the damage has been done, don’t you?...”_

_“...your resistance is admirable, but futile. Your death here will accomplish nothing. I have thought about it, of course. What would happen if I release my restraints and let you die? You would not Fall, oh no, Regeneration is a separate puzzle. One we will be investigating soon, once I am sure the Crystal has fully fused...”_

_“...We will be working together for years, James! Centuries! The implications are astounding. I have learned more from your interactions with the Crystal than I would have thought possible. But it opens up so many other questions. What... an Angel dying with a fully fused Crystal in place? Would their Grace pass from the world forever? Or would the Attribute regenerate anew? Could the Attribute be... contaminated? Perhaps the next person Chosen would inherit the shard. Could the feedback... contaminate mankind itself? It is unlikely, but it is an interesting puzzle. Maybe it is one I will explore in the future. With another Angel of course. I have... plans for you...”_

_“...have run out of patience... my calculations... complete the final fusion... stimulate your Grace. I believe a sufficiently large Regenerative event... overcome the last of your resistance. The effects should be quite interesting. How will the crystal change you? What... properties... unleashed?...I... your arm... proceed..._

...and... he let go, let the cold take him. It felt good, and there was no pain, not anymore, _the cold and the dark were his home_... there were thoughts but they weren’t his... they didn’t matter, nothing mattered, nothing would ever matter again... but he could hear screaming and an Angel weeping. _.. …. and the pain was back... there was ice in his shoulder...._ and _…_ and... and someone was singing? 

He could hear a voice, no, Tony’s voice in his ear. He was sitting on the floor of the ice cave, and Tony was behind him, rocking him slowly, singing softly, his voice thick with tears. Something about piña coladas and getting caught in the rain? 

James shifted and realized that Tony had stepped out of his armor. Tony’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him tight. A warm glow surrounded them, pouring off Tony in waves. The ice around them was melting - the water running down toward the back of the cave in small rivers. 

“Piña-” James rasped, and then stopped. His throat was raw. 

Tony stopped singing and dropped his head onto the back of James’s neck. “Oh, thank god,” he murmured. 

He kept one arm around James and held him while Tony fumbled through the gear bag. He handed James an energy drink, twisting the lid off with the Force. 

“I know, I know,” Tony babbled, helping James hold the bottle steady. “Not my usual taste in music, but you said tropical vacation, and then parrot, so my mind went to parrot-head, but I really hate ‘Margaritaville,’ but that led me to-” 

“Piña Coladas?” James asked, clearing his throat. _‘Better,’_ he thought. 

“Well, yeah,” Tony said, relief in his voice. 

James lifted his head and barked a laugh. Zola was pushed against the far wall, tied up with so much duct tape he looked like some kind of armadillo. The Winter Solider was standing over him, a shotgun in his right hand pointed at Zola’s face. Under the tape wrapped around his head and mouth, Zola’s face looked scorched, the skin burnt and peeling. 

James grunted, sitting up. The pain in his shoulder was back. It was really bad and getting noticeably worse. 

“What the hell happened?” he asked. 

“Ah,” Tony said, wiggling around to face him. “You had a flashback. A bad one. I thought maybe Zola was causing it so I-” 

“Shot him in the face with a repulsor?” James asked, glancing at Zola again. 

“Yeah,” Tony said, pinching his fingers together. “Little bit... He’s healing up though. I guess he’s still connected to the Book enough that he can do that.” 

James ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. The cold was still zinging through him and for once he could remember everything from his flashback. He shuddered, still able to hear the echo of Zola’s voice _._

“My shoulder, the chip-” James said, voice strained. Whatever Natasha had done, it was wearing off, fast. 

Tony stood up and offered a hand, pulling him up. “Yeah, I know. Sorry. We’ve officially run out of time. Jarvis says we’ve only got two, maybe two and a half hours left,” he said grimly. “We need to do this now or never.” 

He ran his hand up and down James’s arm and looked him in the eye. “You ready to keep going?” 

James nodded. He felt awful, dizzy. Hot and cold at the same time. But he needed to do this, needed to see it through to the end. “Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Let’s do this.” 

Tony stepped into his armor, and it closed up around him. 

“Now what?” James asked, eying Zola with distaste. 

Tony grimaced, and waved his hand. “We can do this one of two ways, I think. We can try and get Sparky there to tell us what we need, or we can get Jarvis to hack his files. I’m not sure how long either one would take. Zola obviously knows what we need so he might be faster, assuming he’ll talk. But if hearing his voice triggers you...” 

“Yeah,” James sighed. “It’s a problem. And I don’t think Zola’s one for giving straight answers, anyway. I think our best bet is to try Jarvis first.” 

“Yeah, OK,” Tony said. “Why don’t you take Jarvis to the files. Take a breather. I’ll keep an eye on Dr. Lizardo here.” 

Tony made a gesture, and the Book appeared in his hand. He handed it to James and Zola made a choking noise, eyes wide with surprise. 

_‘Yeah, asswipe,’_ James thought. _‘_ _We_ _have the Book now.’_

“You said Zola can still heal?” James asked, eyes narrowing. He loosened the fastening on his armor and shoved the Book inside. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, J said he can block him sending power or thoughts out, but he can’t cut him off from Past-Book’s basic internal funct-” 

James stalked over to Zola, drawing one of his guns. 

He reached out with his new arm, the one Tony had given him, and dragged Zola upright - shoving him against the wall. 

Winter just stood there, watching curiously, keeping the shotgun level with Zola’s face the whole time. 

James snorted. _‘That must be a funny view - to have both me and the Winter Soldier staring down at you with guns,’_ he thought bitterly. 

James jammed his gun into Zola’s stomach and pulled the trigger. Once, twice, three times, watching Zola scream behind the tape over his mouth, face red and straining. 

He leaned in and whispered in Zola’s ear. “Calculate that you fucker,” he said. He started to turn, then shook his head. He aimed lower and shot Zola in both knees. One, two. Then he let go of Zola, who instantly crumpled to the floor, moaning loudly. 

“Shit, that felt good,’ James said, sighing loudly. “I wish I could have done that years ago.” 

Behind him he heard Tony snort a laugh. 

James slammed his gun back in the holster and turned, pushing his hair out of his face. 

“Feeling better?” Tony asked, grinning like a shark but trying to hide it behind his hand. 

“Much,” James said. He walked back over to Tony, and kissed him fiercely. Tony kissed him back, all tongue and teeth. James could taste blood on his lip. He hoped it was Zola’s. 

They broke apart breathing hard, and Tony’s eyes were bright. 

“For luck,” James said. He turned and stepped through the arch and back into the lab. Tony was right. He needed a couple of minutes by himself, away from Winter _and_ Zola to get his shit together. 

His eyes caught on a hole in the wall surrounded by scorch marks. The place where Zola’s head had been. 

“Jarvis,” James said quietly. “I want you to promise me something.” 

“If I can, James,” Jarvis said, “you know I will.” 

“If I turn back into _him_ \- or if I Fall and Regenerate as something worse, you’ll keep Tony safe, right? You’ll kill me if you have to? Promise me you’ll do that. Please don’t let me hurt him.” 

There was a pause and James bit his lip, waiting, until Jarvis finally spoke. 

“When Sir initially programmed me,” Jarvis said slowly, “my core function was to see to his safety and wellbeing. And despite the changes we have both undergone, that has not changed.” 

“However,” Jarvis continued, “I believe your wellbeing has become essential to his. He would not want me to choose his life over yours, nor would I want to. You are important to both of us. So to answer your question, I can only promise to do everything in my power to keep both of you safe, for as long as I can.” 

James sighed, shoulders dropping. It wasn’t really what he’d wanted, but it would have to do. Jarvis was just as stubborn as his creator. 

James pulled out the Book and headed for the workstation. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony walked slowly over to Zola. He stopped next to Winter and put on hand on his shoulder. 

“Thanks Winter, great job,” Tony said. “I’ve got this now. You can put the gun down.” 

Winter took five steps back and stopped. He slowly put the gun on the ground, but he kept his eyes on Zola the whole time. 

Tony grimaced and rubbed his eyes. It was so painful - to see James like this. Zola had taken someone beautiful, someone Tony loved, and turned him into some sort of murder doll. And that crown... Tony shuddered. That Crown was probably the reason James couldn’t block anyone out of his head, even now. 

Tony turned and kicked Zola hard in the stomach, making him scream. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tony said. “I didn’t see you there.” 

He crouched down next to Zola and pulled so he was sitting upright. He used the Force, so he wouldn’t have to touch him. 

“OK, Peaches,” Tony said. “Looks like it’s just you and me. And Winter, of course.” 

Zola grimaced. Tony heard a crunch as Zola’s knee worked itself back into position. 

“You know I have the Book,” Tony said quietly. “A future version, a better version. So I know how this works. The Book can heal you. The Book can block the pain. But not right away. Not for a few seconds. For those few seconds - you feel everything.” 

Tony leaned in, so he could whisper in Zola’s ear the way James had. 

“I also want you to know,” Tony continued, “that I think I can take that power away from you. So you’d better pray that James finds out what he needs to in those files. Otherwise, what you felt just now...” Tony shook his head in mock sympathy. 

“That will be nothing compared to what I’ll do to you. I _will_ do whatever it takes to undo what you did to James. You can count on it.” 

He used the force to slam Zola’s head back into the wall. 

Zola just stared at him, eyes wide. 

Tony walked over to stand facing Winter, so Zola couldn’t see his hands shaking. 

Part of him hoped it wouldn’t come to that. He knew from personal experience that torture never worked. But part of him... he looked at Winter’s blank face. James’s face. He looked at Winter’s black eyes, where he should be seeing James’s blue. He remembered those ruined wings, and he had to blinked hard to dispel the image. 

Yeah, part of him really hoped he’d have an excuse to hurt Zola. 

He glanced at his heads-up display, at the countdown clock Jarvis had started. 

_‘Fuck, fuck, less than two hours? And then what? What happens when the shard takes over? Does he die? Does he turn back into Winter? Or does all of him turn into something like that arm?’_ His thoughts spun around. _‘What do I do? What can I do...’_

Winter reached out and put his right hand on Tony’s shoulder. 

Tony’s thoughts ground to a halt. He looked up. Winter had his head tipped to the side, a look of confusion on his face. Or was it concern? 

“Tony,” Winter said slowly. 

Tony’s mouth fell open. 

“Tony,” James called, stepping back through the archway. “We got it.” 

Tony jumped back a bit, and Winter’s hand fell from his shoulder. Tony looked between Winter and James and sighed. He’d started doing the same thing as James, thinking that Winter was someone else. But he wasn’t. He was still James underneath. _‘Why does this have to be so fucking hard?’_ he thought. 

James was staring at him and Winter, eyes narrowed. 

“So, J,” Tony said quickly, “you got what we need?” 

“Indeed, Sir,” Jarvis said. “I found it a pleasure working with the Asgardian systems. They were very neat and orderly.” 

“And you have everything? You’re sure?” Tony asked again. “You know how to save James? We can do it without Zola?” 

“Yes, Sir,” Jarvis replied. “And I believe there is a way to save all the other Angels as well, although it seems that part will be a _bit_ more complicated.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony muttered. Complicated, whatever. As long as they saved James, they’d work out the rest later. 

“So what do we do with him now?” James asked, glaring at Zola. “We don’t need him anymore, do we?” 

“No,” Tony said slowly. “But it’s not like we can actually kill him. I mean as long as he’s got the Book, he’s-” 

Behind him, Tony heard a sound. A terrible, rusty, grating noise, like the Gates of Hell swinging wide. Zola’s eyes snapped open in terror, staring at Winter. He was trying to say something behind the layers of tape. 

Tony spun around, but Winter wasn’t there. 

Winter was suddenly next to Zola, crowding in on him. That sound had been the armor on his left arm, peeling back, retracting. 

And now his arm was uncovered. That icy black arm, somehow flickering and moving, while remaining still at the same time. 

The temperature around them instantly dropped, all the melted ice crackling and groaning as it instantly refroze. 

The look on Winter’s face was horrible, something caught between a grimace and a smile. He reached out and ran his left hand down Zola’s face in the mockery of a caress, before he slammed his hand against Zola’s chest and held it there. 

A web of black ran up Zola’s face, and Tony could hear him screaming, even from behind the tape. 

Winter leaned in. It looked like he was saying something, but Tony couldn’t hear it as the tape around Zola’s mouth dissolved and his screams split the air. 

Zola shivered as his skin slowly cracked, black lines running through him. He started to shake violently, blue and yellow sparks danced along the fractures. 

_‘The Book-’_ Tony thought, _‘it’s fighting back-,’_ just as Winter jammed his left hand _inside_ of Zola. Winter paused. Then he yanked, and a small, gray three-ring binder materialized as his hand pulled free. 

Zola crashed down, a watery black slurry, looking like a wave of yesterday’s slush flowing across the floor. 

“Shit,” Winter rasped. “I wish I could have done that years ago.” 

“Umm,” Tony said eloquently, “OK. Thanks, Winter....That was.... something. And I think you just did. Do that - years ago. Fuck, time travel is so confusing.” 

Winter turned to them slowly and held out the Past-Book toward Tony. He smiled, but it was still crooked, half way to a snarl. 

“Mission objective achieved,” Winter growled. “Kill Zola.” 

Tony thought back to James listing their goals. And Winter wasn’t wrong. Killing Zola had definitely had been on the list. He glanced at James, whose eyes were locked on the Zola slush. 

Tony carefully took the proffered Book, making sure not to touch the arm. Winter’s armor grated down, covering up that alien arm, screeching as it went. 

“James?” Tony asked. “You OK, sweetheart?” 

James huffed a laugh, and then another. “Oh, shit,” he said, sounding slightly hysterical. “There’s Zola all over my boots.” 

Tony looked down, and grimaced. “Yeah, I think you got Zola on all our shoes, Winter,” Tony said, picking his feet out of the pile of slush. “Eww...” He used the Force to shovel what was left of Zola off into the back of the cave. 

Tony looked at the Past-Book in his hands. It was covered in a thick rime of frost. It didn’t do or say anything. _‘Maybe it’s in shock?’_ he thought. He walked over to the weapons bag and set the Past-Book down next to it. 

“I guess I was wrong,” James said, voice strained and absently rubbing his left shoulder. “His arm is a lot noisier than the one you made me.” 

James was pale and there was sweat beading along his hairline. 

Another glance at the clock showed that in getting the files and killing Zola, they’d lost another thirty-two minutes. 

“OK, guys,” Tony said, frowning. “Let’s go. We’ll celebrate later.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James made it as far as stepping through the arch before the room spun sideways on him. He felt so cold. He reached a hand up to push his hair out of his face and paused at the sight of his hand. 

It was covered in hoar frost and it was spreading up his arm. _‘Well, shit...’_ he thought, as his vision started tunneling. _‘That wasn’t two hours, was it...’_

He felt the room sway. The next thing he heard was two sets of feet clattering down a set of metal steps. 

He blinked his eyes open. Tony was carrying him down the steps to the main lab. 

_‘The lab...’_ he thought. His head jerked up, and he could see it. The table in the center of the room. _‘Zola’s table...’_

“No, no, no...” he whined, trying to get loose. He couldn’t go on the table. Not again. 

“James, hey,” Tony said. “Don’t.... just hold on.” 

“The table,” Winter growled from behind Tony. “Not the table.” 

“Right,” Tony muttered, “sorry, sorry... I should have told you what I was doing. I wasn’t going to put you on the table, I swear. Not the table, never.” 

Tony lowered him to the floor and leaned him up against the wall. He felt one of Tony’s hands on his face, the other gripping his right hand hard enough to hurt. A wall of warmth surged through him, helping him focus. 

“James, listen,” Tony said urgently. “I’ve got to set up the equipment. But I’m right here, OK? I’ll keep talking. Just focus on my voice. Everything will be all right. I just need a minute. OK, baby? Sweetheart?” 

James gritted his teeth and nodded. He squeezed Tony’s hand once. _‘Go...’_ he thought. 

Tony kissed his forehead, leaving behind a surge of warmth. 

“Watch him for me, yeah?” Tony said to someone. “Yell if he needs me? OK? Take care of him. That _is_ an order.” 

“Understood,” James heard himself say. _‘No, not me, Winter...’_ He tried to focus, but his thoughts drifted. He was so cold. But the cold was so good. So peaceful. The pain always stopped when he turned into ice... 

James felt something pinch him, hard, on the ear. He tried to blink his eyes, and when that didn’t work he rubbed them loose. They had been crusted shut by frost. 

The Winter Solider was crouching next to him, face unreadable. He pinched James’s ear again, making him sit up. 

“Focus,” Winter said brusquely. 

He tried thinking warm thoughts. Tried to picture being with Tony on a beach, warm and safe. The sun was shining, he could hear the waves. It was safe, so nice. It always felt warm just before he froze... 

“Oww...” James said, rubbing his ear. _“Asshole,”_ James thought darkly, glaring at Winter. Winter just glared back, unimpressed. 

James looked away, trying to focus on his new hand instead, clenching it over and over. He tried to concentrate on Tony, on his voice. He was still talking to Jarvis as he set up equipment, dragging cables of some sort through the lab. 

“OK, yeah,” Tony said, “I see where this is going. But where’s the... there, got it. No, no, J, not what I need... Well, just sum up then! Give me the CliffsNotes version... I don’t care!... Yeah, right, so the Tesseract isn’t here. Do we have enough power for the energy field without it?... have to do... the notes say how we can contain the shard once it’s out? ‘Cause I don’t think letting it loose is.... What, _this_ red button? Why is always a red-” 

Tony paused. “Holy shit,” he said. 

James jerked his head up. A sphere had been raised up out of one of Zola’s consoles. Inside was a black crystal, about the size of a human heart. It was trapped in some sort of blue energy field, suspended in place. But it still gave the impression it was moving, vibrating from some internal force. 

James looked away, back at his left hand. He knew what that was. The main crystal Zola had created, out of the Zero Matter the Angels had found. _‘The Cimmerian Crystal – that’s what_ _he_ _called it,’_ the thought drifted in, along with the image of yellow eyes. 

“Right, right,” Tony said, jumping a little. “Focus, Stark. Save James first, look at the Universal extra-dimensional matter later.” 

James glanced up, looking at Winter, who was staring at the crystal with his black, unblinking eyes. 

Then James must have drifted again, because Tony was suddenly back. 

“James?” he asked. “James, hey, look at me,” he said more firmly. James felt hands gripping him, but they were distant. Hardly warm at all. 

He lifted his head. His hair hung down in his face, the tips white with frost. 

“I’ve got this set up,” Tony said, voice clipped. “It’s a rush job, but we’re almost out of time. Jarvis says it will work, but...” 

James knew that tone. Tony was scared. 

“What...” James cleared his throat and tried again. “What’s the bad news?” 

“The bad news,” Tony sighed, “is this is probably going to hurt. Fuck- what I mean is this _is_ going to hurt – a shit ton. And I don’t have time to figure out something else. I’m using Zola’s equipment here, and I’m pretty sure-” 

“He didn’t give a rat’s ass about pain management?” James huffed. He tried to sit, and felt a cold hand on his back, helping him up. He didn’t look. Tony’s hands were on his right hand and his face. 

Tony tried to smile, but failed. “Yeah, something like that,” he said. 

“So,” Tony continued, “here’s what we’ve got. The shard is pinned into you because you’re a form of energy, right? It absorbs energy. So what we need to do is generate enough of the right kind of energy to break the bond with you while simultan-” 

James squeezed his hand, twice. “Stop,” he rasped. “Don’t care. Trust you. Let’s just do this, yeah?” 

Tony bit his lip hard, his eyes wet. “Yeah, yeah... Sorry.” 

“OK, so, the other bad news,” he continued, “is I’m going to have to move you closer to the table.” He leaned in, looking making sure James was listening. 

“I won’t put you on it,” Tony added quickly. “You can sit on the floor, I can get the equipment that far. But I need you closer. And we need to get you out of your armor. I need to put the device directly onto your shoulder. Plus, I want to move both of our arc reactors out of the room. I don’t need the chip bonding to those by mistake. God knows what that would do...” 

James nodded. He could do this. It was just so hard to breath... 

He reached up to undo the armor and felt hands reaching to help him. More than one set. 

He closed his eyes and let Tony and Winter peel off his new arm, weapons, and armor. He was too tired to object to Winter’s hands on him. And Tony had ordered Winter to take care of him. It wasn’t like he was doing it because he wanted to. Somehow that made James feel better. 

Tony lifted him and carried him over to the floor next to the table. He felt Tony shifting behind him, then there was some sort of apparatus being strapped onto his shoulder. Tony was talking, had been talking the whole time, but he wasn’t listening. 

His eyes were caught on some dust and debris under the equipment in the corner. 

He wanted to laugh. Or maybe cry. Were evil lairs supposed to have dust bunnies? It just felt funny somehow. _‘I guess everyone wants to be the evil leader, no one wants to be the evil janitor...’_ his thought spiraled out. 

“OK, OK,” Tony murmured, kneeling next to him, a hand running over James’s lower back. “You OK, sweetheart? Still with me?” 

James startled, eyes snapping away from the dirt. “Yeah, still here,” he grunted. 

“Great,” Tony said. “Listen... I know it’s hard. But I need you to listen. You’re going to feel a force, a huge pull on your Grace. But don’t let go of your Grace. Hold onto yourself, no matter what happens. It shouldn’t take too long, but, like I said. Painful. So I want you to hang onto the table. Just wrap yourself around the support column. Keep your hand there, and don’t try and pull this equipment off your shoulder until it’s finished doing its job. OK? James?” 

James nodded and reached for the central column under the table, already missing his new arm. It felt strange just having one again. He stopped when he saw his right hand. The tips of his fingers were turning black. As black as Winter’s arm. 

He sucked in a breath, and just for second, he did have a left arm. An arm made of shadow. He felt the temperature around him drop, and he jerked back, startled. The arm disappeared, flickering out. 

“Hey, hey,” Tony said, his hand cupping the side of James’s face. “You can do this. Don’t worry about that. Just hang on to, well, everything, yeah?” 

James reached out again, winding his arm around the table support and gripping it as hard as he could. 

Tony leaned in and kissed him. 

“I love you,” Tony said, tears in his eyes. 

James huffed. Too easy. 

“I know,” James said, trying to smile. 

Tony sighed, leaning back and rubbing his eyes. “Yeah, OK,” he said. “I am more than happy to be the kickass princess here.” 

Tony kissed him again on the side of his temple, and then scooted back, springing over to the console. 

He bit his lip, hand poised over a switch. 

James looked up through his hair. 

“Do it,” he said firmly. 

Tony nodded, and flipped the switch. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony bit his lip, hesitating. He’d thrown this together so fast. What if he’d done it wrong? What if Zola’s notes were faulty? 

James looked up at him from under the table, his arm wrapped around the base, holding tight. His eyes were as black as the night sky. They had been for the last ten minutes or so. 

“Do it,” James said, nodding his head. 

Tony kept his eyes locked on James, and he flipped the switch. 

The result was instantaneous. A web of energy crackled around James’s shoulder, concentrated over where the shard was. James moaned, and clenched his teeth. Tony’s heads-up display showed the shard embedded inside James move, then settle back. 

Tony gritted his teeth and dialed up the power. 

James threw his head back and screamed, making Tony flinch. But he didn’t lower the power. He couldn’t. Not now. 

James let go of the table support, and reached for his shoulder, scrabbling at the straps holding the equipment. 

“No!” Tony shouted, reaching out with the Force to stop him. 

But somehow Winter was faster. He teleported in, already kneeling behind James. Winter grabbed James’s arm and pinned it to his chest. He used his own body to keep Zola’s transfer device flush on James’s shoulder. 

The power flowing into James crackled up Winter’s armor, tangling in the thorns of the crown and arcing into his head. 

Winter dug his chin into James’s shoulder and Tony could see identical expressions of pain on both their faces. They both screamed, two identical voices. 

The shard in James’s shoulder suddenly gave way, letting go with a final jerk. Tony’s eyes automatically followed the shard as it was forced through the conduit. 

If Tony hadn’t been looking with his Angel eyes, he would have missed it. For a split second the large crystal in the containment jar turned to liquid, roiling and twisting on itself as the shard from James joined the whole. Then it settled again, a black diamond suspended in an energy field. 

Tony flipped the switch, shutting everything down, just as the power in the lab failed. The room went dark, the machinery falling silent. 

James and Winter both slumped over, falling into a tangle on the floor. 

‘ _No, no, no,’_ Tony’s thoughts spun. _‘Please, please, please...’_

He skidded on his knees over to the two of them. 

James was breathing, that much was clear. But Winter... 

Winter was still, and the crown on his head wasn’t moving anymore. Instead of black, it had turned to an ash-gray color. 

Tony jammed his fingers under the collar of Winter’s armor, feeling for a pulse. There was none. _‘Oh, god...’_ Tony thought desperately. _‘If I’ve killed him in the past, how will James ever-’_

His thoughts broke off as Winter’s right arm twitched. Tony sighed. _‘Maybe not having a pulse is normal for him?’_ he thought. 

He pulled his hand from Winter’s neck and Winter’s head rolled to the side. The crown on his head cracked, part of it crumbling into powdery ash and falling away. The tendrils that had been growing into his head flaked off, leaving little points still protruding from the skin. 

_‘Oh, fuck,’_ Tony thought. _‘No, no, no... they didn’t come out. The tendrils are_ _still_ _in there. Still in his brain. What if they’re still alive in there? Like Khan worms...’_

He swallowed hard. This was his fault. The reason that James couldn’t block out other Angels’ thoughts. He was the one who had done this. 

He had said he wasn’t going to order Winter around. That Winter deserved free will. And yet, as soon as James had collapsed, he’d ordered Winter to take care of him. And Winter had. He’d panicked, and now James was stuck with part of that crown still inside his brain. _‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,’_ he chanted to himself. 

“Sir,” Jarvis said, “if I may, James’s life signs are stable. I believe he will come around in a few moments. As for Winter -” 

He was interrupted as Winter snapped his eyes open. They were blue. The icy blue-gray that Tony loved. _‘James...’_ Tony thought. 

Winter blinked, and his eyes shifted to black. He focused on Tony. 

“Mission objective achieved,” Winter rasped. “Take care of James.” 

“Yeah,” Tony said quietly. “You did great, Winter. Thank you. You just rest a minute, OK?” 

He ran his hand through Winter’s dirty hair, brushing out the remains of the crown. 

“OK,” Winter said, rolling his head into Tony’s palm. 

Tony bit back a sob. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t. 

He unbuckled the transfer device from James, and threw it to the side. He ran his hands over James’s shoulder. The black was gone, as if had never been there. At least that part had worked. 

He leaned back against the table, gathering up James and Winter, pulling them both up against him. He asked Jarvis for warmth, and then felt it flow into all of them. He kissed both James - ‘ _James’s_ – _Jameses?’_ \- on the top of the head, and sighed. 

They still had a long way to go, but at least the chip was out of _his_ James. _‘And hey, we didn’t blow up the lab ahead of schedule,’_ he thought, trying to find a bright side. 

Tony paused, holding Winter and James with one in each arm. He clenched his jaw, hard. Besides finding the other Angels, there was still the matter of Winter’s Grace. James’s Grace. And how Winter would end up on the floor of that ice cave, dying and Graceless. 

“ _Jarvis,”_ he thought, _“So far this seems like a closed time loop. And if it is, I think we both know where this ends up. So can you promise me something? I know the Book is connected to me, but I want you to do whatever you have to, to keep them safe. Both of them. Their safety comes first. And whatever happens to me - try and be there for James. Don’t let him be alone, especially if he has to do what I think he has to do.”_

“ _As you wish, Sir,”_ Jarvis sighed. _“I will do my best.”_

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


“Sir,” Osborn said fawningly, “we have retrieved the device as ordered. We are holding the perimeter. All resistance has been neutralized.” 

The Red Skull nodded absently, stepping over another body. 

His army had performed as expected. Dr. Zola would be pleased. 

He watched as his soldiers moved the containment device out of the building where it had been stored. The dual suns in this system threw a bizarre set of shadows over everything, the red light making the blue blood on the pavement look black. 

He smiled as he passed his hand over the containment field. He couldn’t access the full power of the Time Gem yet. But even so, he could See it. The Future. _Every_ future. And in _all_ of them Hydra ruled. There was not one where his army did not conquer first the Earth and then the Universe. It was inevitable. 

“Take the Stone to Zola,” he snapped. “And kill everyone on this asteroid. Leave no survivors. Make sure you take any compatible bodies with us for reprocessing.” 

He stretched his wings, feeling the multitudes inside him crackle. _‘I am legion, for I am many...’_ he thought absently. 

He already possessed the Tesseract, and soon Zola would unlock the power of the Time Gem for him. With two of the Infinity Stones under his command, he wouldn’t just have the powers of a god, he would BE God. 

_‘There is no power in the Universe that can stop me now,’_ he thought with satisfaction. _‘I am invincible!’_

The man who had once been known as Johann Schmidt raised his arms and spread his massive wings in the light of the binary suns and smiled. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your great comments and kudos. I love every one!
> 
> Edit to Add: When I started writing this in November, Agent Carter S2 hadn't aired yet. I was so excited when I saw they were using zero matter too! Of course, I might have stolen it from Agents of Shield S1... :p
> 
> Edit to Delete: Info on next update


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! I’m so sorry about the delay in updating. Real life really hit me hard last month. On the upside, I have started writing again and this story is almost finished. I am working on the last little bit now.
> 
> As for the chapter count – I’ve decided to go back to posting in smaller chunks rather than the longer chapter lengths. It just seems to work better for me. So – same number of words, I just broke them up a little differently. (Guess I’m still learning as I go!)
> 
> Once again a huge thank you to [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for betaing!

  


**Chapter 31**

  


“And I’m telling you,” Steve insisted, “pineapple just doesn’t belong on a pizza. I know I’ve been in Asgard since 1965, but in my day -” 

Steve stopped as Lucky began to howl, turning just in time to see Natasha pulling herself through the television. He caught a glimpse of the room on the other side before the TV switched off. Some sort of ugly posh modern design, all sleek lines and leather furniture. Another Lucky was lying on the couch, wagging his tail. 

“Lucy! I’m home,” Natasha called, straightening her shirt. 

“Ah, shit,” Clint said, dropping the pizza onto the stove top. 

Clint moved the five steps into the living room, watching Natasha with sharp eyes. 

Nat didn’t say anything. 

“Shit, shit, fuck,” Clint said. “Gear up, Steve.” 

“I can’t gear up Barton, we’re in a time stop, remember? Not all of us can violate the laws of time and space,” Steve said irritably. 

“Oh, yeah,” Clint said, scratching his head. “Sorry. I forgot.” 

“Will someone tell me what’s going on? Where’s Bucky? What happened with Stark? Did Stark cure him?” Steve asked desperately. “Tell me he hasn’t turned.” 

Clint arched an eyebrow at Natasha. 

She looked at Clint straight on, and her clothes changed. Then her hair. Now she was wearing black battle armor, her blood red hair shaved to the scalp on one side, longer and swept back on the other. She twisted her hands through the air and started producing weapons. Flaming swords, daggers, shock batons. She whisked several guns and what might have been an energy weapon into existence, then made them disappear again. 

“Oh, hell no,” Clint said grinning. “About fuckin time!” 

“What!?” Steve shouted. He looked like he wanted to throttle them. 

“Stark found Hydra,” Clint said. “He and Barnes have gone back into the past and they’re bringing them here. They’re bringing the party to us.” 

“Clint’s right, Steve, you need to gear up,” Natasha said, clearly amused. “In fact, we all do. Every Bright Angel left.” 

She turned to Clint, expression serious. “I’ve got Lucky holding that time sink open for Tony and James. But I’m going to need to end _this_ time stop so I can go get the other Angels. And I need you to do me a favor.” 

She reached up and touched the silver arrow charm at her throat. It glowed with a light all its own. 

“Fuck,” Clint sighed. “Are you sure?” 

Natasha nodded. “It’s the only way to get everyone into position. I think I can take us all to the point in time where we need to be. I won’t be able to get the Angels into the Tower’s time sink, but I can sync us up just outside it.” 

“Nat,” Steve said, concern wrinkling his forehead. “Are you sure? I know how hard that’s going to be for you...” 

“No choice, Steve. Not now,” Natasha said firmly. “James and his fiancé have changed everything. There’s only one road forward, and we’re all on it.” 

Steve nodded, accepting her answer. “You know, one of these days you’re going to have to let me in on your little ‘hair and clothes codes.’ I mean I got the armor part, but how-” 

Steve froze. 

“Wait,” he said slowly. “Did you say _fiancé?_ ” 

Natasha just smirked before turning around and letting Clint reach for the clasp on her necklace. Spoiling their surprise might be mean, but after everything James and Tony had put her through, a little revenge felt nice. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James felt warm. Really, truly warm. For the first time in memory, there wasn’t any bit of him that felt cold. 

Which was odd, ‘cause it sure felt like he was laying on an icy stone, his head resting on something soft. 

He squirmed a little to get more comfortable. Hadn’t he been wearing the armor? Now all he was wearing was the under-suit. He vaguely wondered what had happened. 

He realized he was on the floor of the cave and his head was pillowed on Tony’s thigh. 

He knew he should say something, let Tony know he was awake, but he didn’t want to move yet. He was just so warm. He felt like a cat lying in the sun. He wanted to bask in it forever. 

And then he remembered. 

It was even better than what Natasha had done for him. For the first time since his rescue, he felt whole. No outside pressure, no darkness lurking in his mind. He breathed in a deep sigh and let it out slowly. He might not have wings, but right now he felt like he could fly. If he actually felt like moving, that is - which he didn’t. 

‘ _All these years and it’s finally over,’_ he thought. Tony had done what even Angels couldn’t. For the first time in centuries, James was free. 

He snuggled his head more firmly into Tony’s leg, while Tony started carding a hand through his hair. It felt glorious. 

He slowly realized he could hear the rumble of Tony’s voice, talking softly to someone. 

“...no, _not_ a mission. No more orders this time, I promise. Just maybe try to remember - Tony Stark, Christmas Eve, 2015.” 

James couldn’t hear the reply. Just a vague grumbling. He heard and felt Tony’s deep sigh. 

“OK, fine,” Tony sighed, “if it helps you, than yes, you can _call_ it a mission. As long as you’re the one who chooses to do it.” Tony barked a short laugh. “Your mission, Mr. Barnes, should you choose to accept it...” He started humming the theme song. 

James groaned internally. He knew who Tony was talking to and realized he needed to get up. They weren’t done yet. Not by a long shot. 

“That was a _great_ reference by the way,” Tony said. “You’ll appreciate it someday. You know, when you find me in the future.” 

“Oh, please,” James groaned, opening an eye and peering up at Tony. “That reference was mediocre at best.” 

Tony jerked his chin down, and stared at James. He broke into a wide grin and clutched his hand over his heart. “You wound me, sweetheart,” Tony said, eyes bright. 

James grinned back, sitting up slowly. He might have been warm, but he was tired and he ached all over. He felt as if he’d just free-climbed a mountain. 

“Hey, hey, take it easy,” Tony said. “Don’t push yourself. Here, let me help.” Tony laid a hand on the back of his neck, and could feel his pain melting away. 

“You did it,” James said, softly. “You got the chip out. I can’t feel it anymore.” He still couldn’t believe it. After all this time... 

Tony started to smile, but then his face fell. 

“What?” James said. “What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Tony gestured to his right, where Winter was sitting on the ground. Winter ignored them, clearly more interested in methodically eating his way through a two pound bag of peanut M &M’s. 

James shook his head. He didn’t get it. Except to wonder if Tony had actually packed anything besides snacks and duct tape. 

“When you...” Tony started. He rubbed a hand over his face, then caught James eyes. 

“I fucked up,” he continued softly. “I am so, so sorry.” He reached up and put his palm on the side of James’s head. “I ordered Winter to take care of you. And he did. But he got caught in the energy field and it fried the Crown.” 

And then James realized what he’d missed. He’d avoided looking at the top of Winter’s head this whole time so he wouldn’t have to see, but Tony was right. The Crown was gone. 

James stomach dropped. On one hand, he was glad. Ever since he’d seen it, he’d felt its phantom weight on his head. On the other hand, it was the only thing standing between them and the Winter Soldier. One of the most destructive forces in the Universe. “ _There’s a reason they call you the Angel of Death,”_ echoed in the back of his mind. 

“So you can’t control him now?” James asked, eyes wide. “Is that what you’re saying? What if he goes off? What if he tries to kill us?” He started breathing faster. It had been bad enough when he knew Tony could at least control him. But without the Crown... 

“No, hey,” Tony said. “Winter’s fine. Really. I mean, look at him. He still knows we’re friends. He’s still on board with the mission. That’s not what I meant.” 

“When the Crown died,” he continued remorsefully, “it left those tendrils inside. They’re still there. In him – in you. And it’s my fault. It’s my fault you can’t block telepathy. If I hadn’t ordered Winter to watch out for you... if I’d just been faster-” 

James rolled his eyes. Of all the things to worry about. 

“Tony,” he said, gripping Tony’s hand, “it’s not your fault. You weren’t the one that put the Crown on him. Zola was. You couldn’t have known what would happen. It wasn’t your fault the Crown got fried.” 

“I guess,” Tony sighed. “But I _will_ find a way to fix it, once we’re done here. We’ll get these tendrils out of you, I swear. Or I’ll make some sort of jamming-” 

James reached out and poked Tony’s side. “Stop. Just stop. It’s not your fault. These things happen when you’re raiding evil lairs,” he said, smiling. “Not everything is going to go according to plan.” 

“You mean our brilliant master plan?” Tony asked, smiling weakly. “Go in and fuck shit up?” 

James laughed. He just felt so damn good. “Yeah, that plan. I think we’re doing all right so far. Shit is definitely getting fucked up.” 

Tony still looked guilty. James just couldn’t let that stand. He leaned in, kissing Tony firmly. Then he kissed him again, wrapping his hand around the back of Tony’s head. 

James broke away, grinning. “It’s really gone, isn’t it?” he whispered. 

Tony nodded. “Yep, all gone. You did it.” 

“Yeah, I think that was all you, darlin’,” James insisted. He fisted his hand in Tony’s under-suit and pulled him in hard, kissing him for all he was worth. His thoughts and emotions were entirely his own now, and Tony touch made him feel like there was a bonfire under his skin. 

Tony kissed him back, moaning softly. 

They jumped apart as something crunched loudly near their ears. 

Winter had scooted closer and was peering at them, expression blank, slowly chomping his candy. 

James sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned to Winter. “Do you mind?” he growled. 

Winter gave him that half smile, half snarl thing. James winced. He hated that expression. He hated the fact that Winter had his face. And he was really starting to appreciate the fact that the other Angels had erased his memory. If this had all happened before, then he was glad he didn’t remember any of it. It was just too weird. 

Winter scooted back, crumbling up the empty candy wrapper and reaching for the gear bag. 

James snapped his arm out, snagging the bag and dragging it away from Winter. _‘Ha’_ he thought in satisfaction. 

A quick glance in the bag revealed a lack of candy and an awful lot of empty candy wrappers. He looked up at Winter and glared. _‘“Asshole,”’_ he thought - and frowned when the word echoed strangely in his mind. 

Winter was frowning too. _‘Tony was right,’_ James thought. _‘He does look like a grumpy cat.’_

He and Winter continued to glare at each other until Tony groaned. 

“You know,” Tony said, “I’ve had fantasies about having two of you, but they involved a lot more sex and a lot less angst.” 

James and Winter both turned to Tony with identical frowns on their faces. 

“OK,” Tony said shuddering dramatically, “now that’s just creepy. You two cut it out.” 

James fought to keep from smiling. It had been kinda funny. 

Tony stood up, clapping his hands. “Well,” he said, “now that that’s done, we should-” 

“Finish the mission?” Winter interrupted. He teleported over to the archway and stood there waiting. 

James sighed. He hated to say it, but Winter was right. Time to get back to the plan and rescue the other Angels. He got up, heading over to where their armor and weapons were sitting. He’d feel safer once he had all of his guns again. 

“So, how long was I out?” James asked. “Catch me up.” 

“Not long,” Tony said. “Maybe 20 minutes? Relatively speaking, what with the different time fields. I moved us in here as soon as I could since this field runs faster. I’m pretty sure someone’s going to notice we’re here now.” 

“Why now?” James asked. “Running the lab equipment shouldn’t tip anyone off. Zola did that all the time.” 

Tony grimaced and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, well,” he said, “I guess normally the power for this whole place is generated by that Tesseract thing. But it’s currently off base somewhere. Don’t ask me how. I know Natasha said she’d notice if anyone left this time sink, but Hydra must have found a way around that.” 

“Anyway,” he continued, “in order to get the shard out of you, I sort of used up all the back-up power. Not sure if it was just for the lab or for the whole base, but someone’s probably going to notice.” 

“Either that,” James said, frowning, “or the fact that Zola’s missing.” He smiled to himself, remembering Zola turning into slush. That was never going to get old. 

James re-calibrated his arm, loving the sound it made. He knew where this ended - in a huge explosion. Whether they survived it or not, well... Even if they failed, at least he’d die free from the shard. He would die as himself. It felt good. It felt right. 

He nodded to Tony. “Ready,” he said firmly. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony watched as James stepped back into his armor and started re-arming himself. He felt a little shiver of awe go through him. After everything James had been through, he was still moving forward. Still trying to do the right thing. He wished James didn’t have to. They’d done it. They’d actually done it. James was saved. Tony wanted to give in, to celebrate – to leave now and find that tropical beach. 

But he knew they couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself relax, let himself feel happy. Not yet. They had to finish this first. If they didn’t destroy Hydra here and now, who knows where they’d turn up? Who knows what they’d try to do to James for defying them? 

He stepped into his armor and snuck a glance at Winter waiting impatiently by the archway. Even from here, Tony could see that Winter was tense. He caught Winter staring at James and he could see a play of emotions flicker across Winter’s so-familiar face. Fear, anger, sadness - before his face went blank again. 

Tony felt his heart lurch. How much had Winter been able to put together? Did he understand James was his future self? He had to have seen James’s scars, the marks left by burning feathers. He must be able to see James’s lack of wings. Did he realize what was bound to happen to him in the very near future? That he would lose his Grace, either at Hydra’s hand or theirs? That his broken wings would burn? 

“Tony?” James asked, snapping out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah, sorry,” Tony said. “Just thinking.” He grabbed the gear bag and swung it over his shoulder while James grabbed the weapons bag. They were probably going to need both from here on out. 

“What about Past Book?” James asked, nodding his head to where it lay on the floor. 

“Leave it,” Tony said. He remembered what Natasha had said. The Angels had found James dying on the floor of this cave and used the Book to save him. No way was he taking any chances that the Book would end up out of reach when the Angels needed it. 

Winter was already poking his head through the archway. He motioned them forward and stepped through. 

“Shall we?” James asked. 

Tony nodded, then leaned up and kissed him on the temple. “For luck,” he said softly. 

They stepped through the arch and back into Zola’s lab. 

It was quiet and most of the machinery was dark. The power was still off. That had to be a good sign, right? Maybe Zola blew the power to the lab often enough that no one had noticed. 

Winter stood waiting for them, and as soon as they stepped through his eyes snapped to Tony. 

“Next mission objective,” he demanded. 

Tony sighed. He’d been hoping that without the Crown Winter would show more self awareness, more independent thought. He honestly didn’t want to order Winter around. Look what had happened last time. Maybe if he phrased everything as a question? 

“We need to find the missing Angels,” Tony said. “Can you tell us where-” 

He didn’t have time to finish before Winter reached out, touching his arm and James’s. He felt the familiar rush of space as they were teleported. 

They landed on a metal catwalk, and Tony had the sense of open space below them. He didn’t have time to look, because this time they weren’t alone. Two of the Hydra guards were standing at the far end talking to what looked like one of Zola’s technicians. The guards swiveled their heads in unison to look at them and the tech turned around, confusion on his face. 

Winter moved again, teleporting behind the technician. He touched him once and the tech fell like a puppet with his strings cut. Winter snapped an order at the guards, who froze in place. 

James turned to Tony eyes wide. Tony returned his look and then shrugged. James slowly let go of his gun. 

“Little warning would have been nice,” James muttered, glaring at Winter. 

Even from here, Tony could tell that the technician on the ground was dead. He had no idea how Winter had managed that. And why kill the tech and not the guards? The technician had looked harmless enough, while the guards were wearing Hydra’s signature black armor. One of them even had some sort of alien-looking pistol. Tony made a note to grab it before they left. Just because he didn’t make weapons anymore didn’t mean he couldn’t study it. 

Tony walked slowly down toward Winter, keeping an eye on the guards, but they didn’t move. Tony wondered why they weren’t freaking out or attacking. Winter had just dropped that guy they’d been talking to. Was everyone here just used to random acts of violence? Maybe having the Winter Solider randomly show up and kill people was an everyday thing? Must make team building exercises a little dicey. 

Tony stood next to Winter and eyed the guards. They were motionless, probably waiting for Winter’s next order. Well, Tony was dressed as a guard, right? His helmet was retracted and they’d seen his face, but maybe he could fool them into thinking he was new or something. Just what do evil minions talk about when meeting over the body of a colleague? The dental plan? Their kill counts? 

“Ah, hey, hi,” Tony said and cringed. “Nice to meet you.” _‘Oh, good one,’_ he thought. _‘That’ll fool them for sure.’_

The guards didn’t move, didn’t speak, and Tony could see Winter smirking. Just for second, there and gone. He felt James come up behind him, but the guards didn’t even acknowledge the fact that there were two Winter Soldiers there. Tony was impressed. Now that was some discipline. 

“Mission objective achieved,” Winter said flatly. “Find the missing Angels.” 

Tony frowned, confused. Were these two guys some of the missing Angels? Had they’d been brainwashed into joining Hydra? 

He brought up his Angelic heads-up display, and tried to scan them. He blinked in surprise. Somehow their armor was blocking his scan. It was actually reading as negative energy, almost like the crystal shard had done. The only thing that stood out was the fact that the armor’s edges were all chased in tiny amounts of the same glowing silver material as the armor over Winter’s arm. 

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ on a cracker,” James gasped quietly. 

“What, what,” Tony said, looking up. Were there more guards coming? He looked behind them, but the walkway was clear. 

James grabbed his jaw and turned his head so he was looking down into the space below them. 

They had to be sixty feet up, overlooking a vast open space. It had the feel of a warehouse – dimly lit, steel beams, concrete floors. 

And standing there were Hydra soldiers. Rank after rank of them. There had to be thousands of them. They weren’t moving. They might as well have been statues. 

“OK,” Tony said slowly. “That I did not expect.” But then again, he probably should have. After all, they were in what was probably an underground lair, and they’d just killed the mad scientist. Why not an evil army? He wondered where they were keeping the monorail. Oh, or maybe they had sharks with lasers... 

“Mission objective achieved,” Winter repeated. “Find the missing Angels.” He sounded slightly irritated. 

James turned his head, scanning the room. Tony could see his eyes flare as he called on his Grace. 

“I’m not seeing anything,” James muttered. “Just Hydra drones.” 

Winter barked another word, then reached over and pulled the helmet and face mask off the nearest drone. 

The person revealed was singularly unimpressive. Just a normal looking white guy. But the man’s face was blank, even more so than Winter’s. His eyes were cloudy, his mouth slack. _‘Drone,’_ Tony thought. _‘Somehow James hit on the right word. These guys are nothing but mindless drones of some sort.’_

“No, no, no,” James gasped. “That’s not possible...” 

He fumbled for Tony’s hand and grabbed it. Tony could feel how hard he was squeezing even through his armored gauntlet. 

“What? What am I missing?” Tony asked. He had no idea what was going on here. This guy certainly wasn’t one of the missing Angels. He’d memorized all their names and faces so he’d know them when he found them. 

_“Look,”_ James hissed. 

Tony called up the Book’s heads-up display and scanned again. And there, just faintly, was the energy signature Tony had come to know as an Angel. It was almost drowned out by the armor. It was faint, but it was there. He scanned again, looking for anything else. But there was nothing. 

_‘Wait...,’_ he thought as he scanned again. _‘There really is_ _nothing_ _else.’_ No human brain waves, no life signs - no pulse, no respiration. Nothing but the faint signature of an Angel, and the energy sink of the armor. 

He narrowed his eyes, mind racing to the only logical conclusion. _‘Somehow, Zola had used the Angels to make_ _zombies_ _,’_ he thought in awe. Tony might’ve hated the guy on principle, but he had to give Zola evil scientist props on this one. _“Holy shit, real live zombies...”_

He must have thought that loud enough that Jarvis overheard. 

“Please, Sir,” Jarvis sighed, “they are _not_ technically zombies. Drones would be a far better description.” 

Tony turned to get James’s opinion and froze, all the amazement draining right out of him. James had a look of horror on his face and he was shaking his head slowly. 

“No, no, no – that’s impossible,” James muttered. He moved closer to the guard, examining him. 

“It’s not... how-” James said louder. He reached out, fingers brushing the guard’s face, then jerking back as if he’d been burned. 

Winter turned slightly and raised his arm. He pointed an accusing finger right at Tony’s chest and Tony felt a jolt of panic. 

“It tears them apart,” Winter said slowly, his black eyes staring straight into Tony’s. A brief flicker of... something... crossed Winter’s face. Fear? Horror? Tony couldn’t tell. 

“They scream when the Book tears them apart,” Winter rasped. “They never stop screaming.” 

Tony felt a chill race up his spine. It was the first thing that Winter had said that wasn’t an echo of James or asking for a mission. Winter dropped his arm and took a step back, face once again impassive. 

“J?” Tony asked. He retracted his gauntlet and reached over to grip James’s hand. James leaned into him, but his hand was steady, his jaw clenched tight. 

“I am afraid Mr. Winter is correct,” Jarvis said regretfully. “As you know, it is almost impossible to hold an Angel against their will. If they ‘die’, they merely Regenerate in a few days’ time. Zola’s task was to find a way to keep the Angels from interfering with Hydra’s plans. He assumed that zero matter would be the key to that, but his experiments in using it _directly_ on an Angel were less than satisfactory.” 

Tony snorted. Yeah, he’d seen the video. 

“The Winter Soldier,” Jarvis continued, “was ultimately judged to be not only too powerful, but too unstable. Even with the Crown, he often found ways to subvert their instructions. Hydra decided he was of more use as a deterrent. As long as Hydra had him, they could use the threat of unleashing him on mankind to keep the Council in line.” 

_‘Of course he subverted their orders,’_ Tony thought with pride. He squeezed James’s hand gently. Even as the Winter Soldier, James had still been in there fighting the only way he could. 

“It was the Book that gave Zola the answer,” Jarvis said. “Since each of the Angels had surrendered a piece of themselves in order to make the Book, the Book knew how they could be divided and diminished. And sadly, without realizing what it meant, The Book aided Zola in replicating the process on a much larger scale. Of course, once divided, there was the matter of containment. The Book was created specifically to hold Grace, but Zola feared giving the Book more power than it already possessed. So he used the only other thing in the universe capable of containing Grace-” 

“ _No,”_ James interrupted sharply, “that is _not_ how it works! I don’t know much, but I do know that. When it comes to Grace it’s a two-way street. A person chooses to become an Angel, sure. But the Grace chooses, too. A person has to be compatible and they have to consent. You can’t just force Grace into someone. It would burn them up, consume them. And the Grace would go free.” 

“Yes,” Jarvis said. “That would normally be true. But Zola found a way around that.” 

Winter was suddenly crowding them, thrusting his left hand under Tony’s nose, making him jump. 

“Project: Insight,” Winter recited. “Successful in using multi-functional composite energy materials to contain and deflect Angelic Grace.” He spread his fingers, and Tony’s heads-up display changed, showing the play of energy along the silver edges of his armor. 

James stepped over to the railing and looked out at the sea of zombies. At what remained of his friends. Tony stepped up next to him. He didn’t know what he could say that would make this better. Sorry that Zola shredded your friends like a Julienne salad? 

“Well, at least they’re not dead, right?” Tony said, and winced. But it must not have been the wrong thing to say after all. James snorted, and nodded slowly. 

“Yeah, but trapped in zombies?” James said, voice tight. “How the hell are we going to get a bunch of zombies to the future? I’m not sure that even the good folks of New York City would appreciate a zombie invasion on Christmas Eve.” 

“I do not believe you need the _drones_ ,” Jarvis said. “Only the Grace inside. Once freed, it would naturally be drawn to the piece of itself still contained in the Book. Sir could use the Power of the Book to draw the Grace with us when we leave this time sink and return to the future.” 

Tony turned his attention back to the zombie next to them. He scanned the armor again, looking for a weakness. “Sooo,” he drawled, “in order to free the Angels, all we need to do is-” 

Winter jerked his arm up and made a complicated motion over the zombie’s armor. He whispered a word. The armor unfolded slowly, revealing a pale white torso. Winter spun a knife around in his hand, then jammed it into the zombie’s heart. 

The zombie stood for a moment, then suddenly…, well, crumbled wasn’t right. More like whuffed into ash. The armor clattered to the walkway. Through his heads-up display, Tony saw the faintest hint of light. The tiniest cloud of gold dust swirling up and away, fading into the rafters. 

James reached past Tony and yanked his knife out of Winter’s hand, slamming it back into the sheath on his thigh. “Give me that,” he muttered. “First my candy, now my knife. How the hell did you get that...” 

“Jarvis,” Tony asked slowly. “Would an explosion be enough to break the armor? Let the Grace out?” 

“I believe so, Sir,” Jarvis said. “If the explosion were of sufficient size.” 

James looked at Tony, his face pale, but his eyes were bright. 

“Not gonna lie, this situation is pretty horrible,” James said. “But hey, at least now we know _why_ we blow up this place, right?” 

Tony may have given up making weapons of mass destruction, but damn it - there was always going to be a part of him that loved solving problems with violent explosions. 

“Yippee-Ki-Yay,” he said gleefully. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  New chapter next week! (assuming I survive seeing Civil War this weekend!)


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

  


“OK,” James said, flipping the switch to arm the charge. “That’s the last one in here. Where to now?” 

Winter had been teleporting them around the base, seemingly at random. Right now they were in what looked like a communications room. 

“Well, this room’s done,” Tony said. “And we’ve already done Zola’s labs and office, Main Power, Zombie Storage, and the - you know - that other room.” 

James shuddered and Tony winced in sympathy. The less said about the room where Zola had actually cut up the Angels and transferred their energy into people, the better. Neither James nor _Winter_ had been able to go into the room with the chair and its heavy-duty restraints. 

Even Book had been upset. So upset that Tony had heard Book’s voice for the first time since Jarvis had taken over. The silvery voice from his Visitation chanted ‘sorry, sorry, sorry’ the whole time he’d been in there. 

Tony had made sure to wire a double charge in that room. One for the power grid, one for the chair itself. 

“We’ve been lucky so far,” Tony said. “Looks like we only blew the power to the lab. Plus it helps that the place isn’t wired with alarms. Not that anyone who’s seen us had a chance to trip an alarm.” 

James nodded, rubbing his hands through his hair. “Yeah, lucky,” he said roughly. 

Tony wondered if James was thinking about the people they’d killed in order to get this far. They’d run into sixteen regular humans at this end of the base. Winter had killed all of them before they’d even known he was there. 

And the way he’d killed them – some of them he hadn’t even touched. He’d just looked at them, and they’d fallen over dead. Tony would have thought they’d died of fear if he hadn’t scanned them and found that their hearts had been crushed. Telekinetically, he supposed. 

Tony had no problem with it. Well, relatively speaking. Bad men, yada yada. He’d been there before, when he’d killed his own kidnappers. But this had to be new for James, right? Since he didn’t remember being Winter? And now he was watching his past-self kill people as easily as someone would swat a fly. 

Or maybe James was upset about the fact that Winter had taken all the bodies and hidden them in something he’d called the ‘Reclamation Room’? 

_‘So, so much therapy,’_ Tony thought, shaking his head. 

“Doing OK?” he asked, nudging James with his shoulder. 

“Yeah, swell,” James sighed. He looked over to where Winter was guarding the door. 

“He just moves _so fast,_ ” James said quietly. “No Angel moves that fast. And killing people like that? He dropped those six guys at the same time. I didn’t even have time to clear my gun from the holster.” James shook his head, and then barked a laugh. 

“What?” Tony asked. 

“Nothing,” James said. “I was just thinking it’s a good thing you brought the candy. Only you could have tamed the most dangerous creature in the universe with chocolate.” 

“Hey, no,” Tony frowned, “don’t call him a creature. And I didn’t tame anyone. I think he just naturally likes us.” 

“Likes _you_ maybe,” James grumbled. 

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Wait...” he said slowly. “Are you jealous? Is that what this is?” 

“No!” James said eyes wide. “Of course not. Why would you think-” 

“Oh, my god, you are!” Tony crowed. He leaned in and kissed James’s cheek, making a big smooching noise. It was funny. In, you know, a crazy time travel kind of way. James was jealous of himself. 

James opened his mouth to protest some more. _‘He’s just so adorable,’_ Tony thought, suddenly giddy. _‘He’s so beautiful, he’s so, so... well, James.’_ And James was just so very, very - 

“Marry me,” Tony blurted. 

James snapped his mouth shut. 

“What?” he said, eyes wide. “What did you say?” 

Tony didn’t even stop to think. He didn’t need to. Not for this. This last year had been the best of his life. He wanted a thousand more. A million more. 

“I said, _marry me_ ,” Tony repeated firmly. “We’ll turn that beach vacation into a honeymoon.” 

“Are you seriously proposing to me inside the Evil League of Evil’s base? In the middle of planting explosives?” James said slowly. 

“Yep,” Tony said smugly. “I guess I am.” 

James licked his lips and slowly grinned. 

“Yeah, OK,” James said. “Hell, yeah. Let’s do it.” 

Tony leaned in and kissed him, soft and sweet this time. 

“OK, then,” Tony said. 

“Right.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

They just stood there, grinning at each other, until Winter made a coughing noise. 

Tony barked a laugh. Talk about cock-blocking yourself. 

“Doing OK, Winter?” Tony called, and even though Winter’s eyes were black from edge to edge, Tony could tell he was rolling them. 

“So,” Tony said, rubbing his hands together. “Guess we’d better finish this up and blow this joint. Get it? Blow this joint? Like - you know - leave, but also explode? Not like blow you, which is something _totally_ different.” He wiggled his eyebrows. 

James shook his head, but Tony could tell he was trying not to laugh. 

“Where to next?” James asked Winter, shouldering the weapons bag. 

The lights in the room chose that moment to flicker off and on. They could hear muffled thumping noises coming from down the corridor. James and Tony froze. 

“They’re here,” Winter growled. “They’re back.” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


_‘Was ist das?’_ Schmidt thought as he touched down in the hangar area. He ignored the troops milling around securing the Time Gem’s containment device. 

The instant he’d reentered the time sink, he could feel it: the time-lines shifting and changing. Everything that had been set in stone was now in flux. 

There was a paradox – no, an _impossibility -_ in the flow of time. It jangled across his mind, like someone dragging fingernails down a chalkboard. 

Schmidt gritted his teeth against the sound, but it didn’t stop. 

Someone was here, changing everything that had once been right into something very, very wrong. 

He closed his eyes, searching for the tell-tale sign of an Angel, or worse, that red-haired abomination that Karpov had made with his failed Red Room project. 

But there was nothing... 

_‘No,’_ he thought, _‘there’s something. There has to be.’_

He clenched his jaw against the pain and opened his sense wide. He could sense the Soldier out of his cave, but that wasn’t unusual. Especially since he could feel the lack of power to Zola’s lab. Zola always tinkered with the Soldier when he was bored. 

There _had_ to be something else... 

_There_ \- something he’d never sensed before. It was faint. Just a trace. 

He couldn’t pinpoint them, but they were there. Two faint signatures. Not Angels, but not human either - something in between. They had infiltrated his base and were in the process of changing everything. All his carefully laid plans, teetering on the brink. 

As inconceivable as it seemed, the Bright Angels must have found a way to get past his defenses. 

He sneered at the thought. _‘They underestimated me as an Angel. And now I am God. What can they possibly hope to do?’_

He would find whoever was here and show them just what he was capable of. The Bright Angels should have surrendered to him when he’d given them the chance. Such arrogance could not be tolerated. Now that he had the Time Gem, he would unmake them as if they’d never been. 

He stretched out his power, dragging all the Angels under his command back from where they were stationed and into the time sink. 

The Dark Angels dropped into the hangar, and he caught their thoughts – alarm, anger, and best of all, fear. 

But they all saluted him, a chorus of ‘Hail Hydra!’ echoing through the hangar. 

_“This base has been compromised. Find the intruders and bring them here. And someone bring me Zola!”_ he ground the thoughts into their minds. He felt them wince as they scattered. 

Schmidt smiled tightly. In a moment’s time, he would have the fools who’d entered his base, and he would personally teach them what it meant to cross the Red Skull. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


“Well, this isn’t disturbing at all,” Tony whispered. 

“Shhh,” James hushed him. 

Tony jostled Winter as he tried to get a better view down into the huge aircraft hangar. They were on a catwalk once again, but this time they were crouching in the shadows at the far end of the room. Doing their best not to be seen. 

Voices and the sounds of heavy machinery echoed from below. Technicians and zombie soldiers scurried around the alien looking aircraft. Angels teleported in and out, doing who knows what. 

And overseeing it all was a man in a black uniform holding a silver-tipped walking stick. A perfectly ordinary man - at least to human eyes. 

But to Tony’s Angel vision, well... 

His plain-looking face morphed into a bright red skull. His eyes glowed with a fierce yellow light. 

But that wasn’t the worst of it. What was worse was the sight of his wings. 

They were enormous; huge, misshapen things. They looked like they’d started out leathery, like a bat’s, only to have some demented scrapbooker get a hold of them somewhere along the way. They were overlaid again and again with patches of feathers, of fire, of leather and scales. What looked like ice, or glass jammed up against something black that crackled like lava. And all of it was covered in a never-ending flow of energy, sparks flowing between all the different parts and binding them together. 

To call him a chimeric monster would be an understatement. 

“What the fuck _is_ that?” Tony whispered. “No, really, I want to know. What the fuck is _that_?” 

James was shaking his head. “I have no idea,” he whispered. “He’s not an Angel, that’s for sure.” 

“I am sorry, Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “But according to Dr. Zola’s notes, he is in fact an Angel. He is the Angel of Paranoid Fear. He was born Johann Schmidt, but he now prefers to be called ‘The Red Skull.’” 

Tony snorted. The Red Skull. Wow. Could you get any more unimaginative? 

He frowned as the rest of what Jarvis had said caught up to him. 

“J? From Zola’s notes, not from Book?” 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis said. “As I indicated earlier, only two Angels have ever successfully removed their Grace from the Book. James is one, of course, and it seems that Herr Schmidt did so as well.” 

“And is that what a fully powered Angel is supposed to look like?” Tony asked in horror. Maybe James didn’t need his Grace back after all, if that’s what it did to you. 

James was shaking his head. “No, no it’s not.” James said quietly. “I know that much. I don’t know what the hell he did to himself, but that is _not_ normal.” 

“So...” Tony said slowly. “What, he let Zola experiment on him? Give him some sort of power-up?” 

“Looks like it,” James said, “I think maybe...” 

“Maybe he didn’t put all the stolen Grace inside zombies?” Tony said. “Maybe he stole a bunch for himself?” 

James nodded slowly. “Yeah, don’t know how, but yeah. Fuck, fuck...” James ran a hand through his hair, biting his lip. “How the hell are we going to get it away from him?” 

Tony shrugged. He had no idea. They needed to regroup – come up with a new plan. 

They’d only managed to plant about half the explosives. And now that the boss was back, it was obvious they were going to have to change tactics. No more running around the base like pyromaniac elves leaving incendiary Christmas presents in their wake. 

Somehow Tony didn’t think any normal explosion was going to phase this Skull guy. Maybe they could figure out how to get him alone so Winter could zap him? 

His thoughts were cut off when James nudged his arm. 

Tony looked back at Skull and saw he’d been joined by more Angels. These, Tony recognized. They were all from the ‘Dark Angel’ side of the Book. 

“Listen,” James rasped. “They know we’re here.” 

Tony listened to the shouts down below. And yep, someone had caught on. 

“I said _find them_!” Red Skull was yelling. “They are here somewhere. And where is Zola?!” 

“They don’t know Zola’s dead,” James whispered. “So how do they know we’re here?” 

“He always knows,” Winter said quietly. “Yellow eyes-” 

“Always watching,” James chanted. 

Tony felt a shiver go through him. He didn’t know what that meant. But he was getting a bad feeling... 

“OK,” Tony said, “maybe we should head back to Winter’s cave, or hell, back home-” 

It was as far as he got before he felt it. An enormous force, battering against him. It felt as if he’d been tossed naked into a hurricane. 

“Shit!” James yelled, just as they were all forcibly teleported down to the center of the hangar. Right in front of Red Skull. 

Tony brought up his hand and fired a repulsor straight into Red Skull’s face. 

Red Skull rocked back a bit and then grinned, showing his yellow teeth. 

“Jarvis! Target all!” Tony yelled, as his helmet snapped over his face, bringing up the targeting display. 

Jarvis fired the mini-missiles at Skull. Next to Tony, James fired at the other Angels, using the repulsor in his left arm while opening up with a machine pistol with his right. 

Tony reached with the Force, trying to grab James and Winter to teleport them somewhere, anywhere, but he couldn’t. There was something pinning him down. 

He engaged the boot repulsors to fly them away, but something forced him down, slamming his feet back onto the floor. 

James cried out in pain, and Tony spun to look. One of the Dark Angels, an ugly green scaly thing, had produced a flaming sword and sliced right through James’s armor, scoring a gash on James’s upper arm. 

“James-” Tony started, when there was a roar. An inhuman sound of fury, and then Winter was there. 

He had produced a Sword of his own in his right hand. A weapon forged from his Grace. It was huge, and unlike the clean fire of the blade James had once made, this one burned red and black. 

His left arm, the phantom arm, was uncovered. The Dark Angels fell back, trying to get out of his way, but Winter was faster. 

Winter cornered the Angel who’d wounded James and punched his left hand into him as if the Angel was made of paper. 

Unlike Zola, the Angel didn’t turn into slush. He screamed and seemed to stretch, pulling like taffy. And then he contracted, shivering into a starburst of light before he exploded. 

The concussion almost knocked Tony off his feet, and the blast of light filled the hangar. Tony felt Jarvis throw some sort of shield around him and James, shielding them from the energy released as the Angel died. Even so, it staggered him. 

_‘Holy shit,’_ Tony thought, distracted by the sheer power inside the Angel. He’d had no idea. He felt a brief stab of sympathy for what James had lost, and then another Angel was coming for him. 

He fired both repulsors, opening up with the suit’s machine guns. The Angel staggered back. It wasn’t much, but hey, it was something. If they could just keep them off while Winter did his thing... 

He moved backward so that his back was up against James’s, firing his repulsors again and again. 

Winter waded into the mass of Dark Angels, flickering in and out, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. The ones he killed with his sword burst into gold dust that swirled away. The ones he killed with his left hand, well... 

He felt Jarvis throw up the shield again, just as another Angel exploded into light and was extinguished. 

“Enough!” The Red Skull barked. 

Winter froze for a moment, suspended in midair. He stared at the Red Skull with his black inhuman eyes. And snarled. 

Tony had seen James’s smile – the one that looked feral and wild. This... this was so far beyond that. This was a look of defiance, of an animal pushed too far. Winter screamed, a mindless howl, and charged right for the Red Skull. 

_“I said enough!”_ Red Skull barked. He held up a blue glowing cube, and Tony’s heads-up display went crazy. The power rolling of the cube pegged all his sensors into the red. 

Behind him he heard James scream in pain. 

James fell to the ground clutching his head, and Tony heard Winter cry out in agony as he followed James down to the floor. 

They both threw their hands up to their heads, still screaming. James eyes were rolled back and there was blood seeping from his nose, his ears. _‘Oh, god,’_ Tony thought panicked, _‘he’s inside their minds. He’s attacking them_ _telepathically_ _.’_ And he had no way to stop it. 

“Fascinating,” Skull said over the sound of their screams. 

“Jarvis!” Tony yelled. “Do something!” 

Tony felt the force field that had been around him shift, and James and Winter’s screams tapered off to moans. 

And something slammed into Tony, twisting inside him. An incredible pain sliced through him, bringing him to his knees. It was worse than when he’d taken a chest full of shrapnel. 

_“Sir!”_ Jarvis exclaimed. Tony felt the pain stop as the shield shifted back into place and Jarvis used the Force to heal him. 

But James and Winter started thrashing on the floor. 

Red Skull stood over all of them, gloating. 

_“I am sorry, Sir!”_ Jarvis exclaimed. _“But I cannot shield all three of you at the same time!”_

_“Them!”_ Tony yelled. _“Save them!”_

_“Sir,”_ Jarvis acknowledged. 

Tony felt the shield shift, and the pain was back. He could swear he felt something inside explode; he could taste blood in the back of his throat. He hoped it was one of those minor organs like a spleen, not something he might actually need later. 

Tony saw Winter stagger to his feet and haul James into his arms, cradling him close. He looked at Tony, nodded once - and disappeared. 

Tony’s vision started to fade. He could feel Jarvis pull the shield back over him. He collapsed onto the floor even as he felt the rush of healing. 

_‘No, no, not me, Jarvis. James. Save James. Please save James...’_ he thought. 

He thought he heard Jarvis say something, but he couldn’t hear it. _‘James’_ he thought in despair, one more time, before he slipped into unconsciousness. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James felt cold. So cold. And he hurt. Oh, god... 

He rolled onto his hand and knees just in time to vomit on the floor. 

He could feel the cold stone floor underneath him. 

He was back in the goddamned ice cave. Was he ever going to escape this fucking frozen hellhole? 

At least Tony had gotten them away from Skull... 

“Tony?” he called, blinking his eyes. Ah, god, he hurt. He felt like he’d been hit by a truck. More than once. 

“Tony?” he called again, twisting over so he was sitting upright. He felt a shiver race through him and his heart twisted in his chest. Where was Tony? Was he injured? 

Someone moved next to him and he snapped his eyes up, hope flickering and dying in the same moment when he saw it was just Winter. 

James tried to call on more of his Grace so he could see better in the dark, but nothing happened. He squinted, trying to see Tony in the shadows and gloom. 

“Tony, are you here?” he called loudly, wincing as it made his head throb. 

“Tony is not here,” Winter said calmly. 

James swallowed and breathed through his nose, trying not to panic. 

“What do you mean he’s not here?” he whispered. 

“Primary Command Override,” Winter said. 

“You left him!?” James shouted. “You left him with Skull? By himself!?” 

James clutched a hand to his head, pulling on his hair and ignoring the pain slicing through his head. He staggered to his feet and stumbled over to the archway. He had to get back to Tony. 

“Primary Command Override,” Winter repeated. “Save James at all cost. In case of catastrophic events, retreat to Winter’s cave and make sure James cannot leave. Disregard any threats to Tony Stark.” 

James felt along the archway, searching for the Arrow, the way back to Tony. But he couldn’t find it. He slammed his hands into the blackness of the time field, but it felt more solid than the rock around them. 

He ran his hands over the opening, hunting for the end of the goddamn Arrow. He knew it had to be here. 

“So what,” James spat, “Tony said to leave him? Ordered you to save me? And you just did it? How could you do -” 

“Negative,” Winter said. “Tony Stark is not an authorized command user.” 

James turned slightly at that. What the hell was Winter talking about? Of course Tony was - 

His foot caught on something on the floor. It rolled away from him with a sharp metallic sound. He reached down and picked it up. It was the front half of the True Love’s Arrow. It had been snapped cleanly in half. Without it piercing the barrier, the two time sinks were no longer linked. 

Without the Arrow, there was no way back into the time sink in Russia that held the Hydra base. 

Until whoever this sink was keyed to choose to end it, he was trapped. 

Trapped in a frozen cave in the Alps with the Winter Soldier. 

Trapped in 1908. 

There was no way out and no way home. 

There was no way back to Tony. 

And Tony was all alone with the Red Skull. 

“Tony,” James whispered. “What did you do?” 

And then what Winter had said finally registered over the pain in his head. Tony wasn’t in command of Winter. Tony hadn’t ordered this. Had Tony _ever_ been in charge of Winter? 

“Winter,” James whispered, “what are your Primary Commands? And who is your Primary Command User?” 

“Primary Command,” Winter said flatly. “Save James at all costs. Disregard all contrary orders. Secondary Command, disregard any and all orders issued by Tony Stark unless confirmed by Primary Authorized User: Jarvis.” 

James felt himself sway and he leaned back against the wall. 

“Tony,” James moaned, and let himself slide down to the floor. He clutched the Arrow in his hand and curled up in a ball around it. 

There had to be a way out of this. There had to be. 

And as soon as his head stopped pounding he was going to find it. 

Winter sat down beside him. James felt a hand patting him on the shoulder as everything slipped into darkness. 

  



	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for betaing! Any mistakes are entirely my fault.

**Chapter 33**

  


Tony felt a soft warning buzz in the back of his mind as he abruptly returned to consciousness. 

_“Sir,”_ Jarvis said softly. _“I would advise you proceed with extreme caution.”_

Well, if that wasn’t an ominous way to wake up. Especially if you never expected to wake up at all. He kept his eyes closed and tried not to move. 

“Ah, Mr. Stark,” someone said. “You are awake.” 

Tony groaned. That had to be Schmidt _aka_ Red Skull _aka_ King Douche. 

Well, fuck. 

_“As eloquent as usual, Sir,”_ Jarvis said dryly. 

Tony snorted through his nose. 

Tony realized he was lying on a couch. He gripped the side and felt leather under his palm. The faint scent of James’s shampoo was in his nose. 

And then he realized he _knew_ this couch. He knew it because this was _his_ couch. Schmidt had somehow brought them back to the Tower. 

He was in Stark Tower, in 2015. 

And as far as he knew, James was still in Russia in 1908. 

_‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’_ Tony thought. _‘This is so not good.’_ Why the hell had Skull brought them here? 

The last thing he’d seen was Winter grabbing James and teleporting. Where- 

_“James and Winter are safe, Sir,”_ Jarvis said. _“They are in fairly good health and I have taken the liberty of isolating them in Winter’s cave. We can retrieve them once it is safe to do so.”_

Tony breathed a sigh of relief. _‘Thank god,’_ he thought. Or more appropriately thank Jarvis. 

Jarvis, who Schmidt couldn’t seem to hear. 

“You have a most interesting home, Mr. Stark,” Schmidt drawled, and Tony heard the sound of ice against the side of a glass. 

He opened his eyes, blinking against the late winter light. Schmidt was sitting in the armchair, sipping a glass of Tony’s scotch. With more than one ice cube - the heathen. 

Tony sighed and realized he was still in his armor, the helmet and gauntlets retracted. 

He levered himself up, his hand skidding in something sticky. He grimaced and wiped his hand on the cushion. Was that barbecue sauce? What the hell had Natasha been doing while they were in Malibu? 

And speaking of... 

Tony didn’t know if Natasha was powerful enough to take on Schmidt, but it would be nice to have some sort of backup. 

_“Natasha?”_ he thought hopefully. 

_“She is no longer here,”_ Jarvis said. 

_“Ah, well, isn’t that always the case. Never a living singularity around when you need one.”_

Looked like he was just going to have to kill Skeletor all by himself then. 

Schmidt watched Tony calmly, sipping his drink. 

“Make yourself at home,” Tony said flatly. 

“Thank you, I shall,” Schmidt said smugly. 

Tony rolled his eyes. This guy was just _such_ an asshole. The thought almost made him smile. This guy might be an Angel, but Tony had been dealing with power hungry self-important assholes his whole life. Hell, he used to be one. 

“You know,” Tony said, “I usually insist a guy buy me dinner first, before he brings me home and gets me on the couch.” 

“Oh, of course,” Schmidt drawled. “But as you came to my home first, I thought perhaps we could dispense with such formalities.” 

Tony waved his hand, conceding the point. 

“I must say I am impressed, Mr. Stark,” Schmidt said. “Infiltrating my base, killing Zola, taking control of the Soldier. The Bright Angels certainly chose well when they recruited you to do their bidding.” 

Tony was surprised. He hadn’t expected that. He’d known the second he woke up that he must have something Schmidt wanted. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have woken up at all. But flattery instead of threats? Interesting. 

“Yeah,” Tony said flatly, “sorry, but I don’t do anyone’s bidding. Guess I’m just not a very biddable guy.” 

“Everyone is biddable, Mr. Stark. With the right motivation, of course.” 

Tony sighed. Just how many times was he going to have to do this? This was, what, his fifth kidnapping? No, fourth - James didn’t count. Not since they’d technically kidnapped each other. 

At least this time he wasn’t alone. He had Jarvis and Book on his side. 

Schmidt waved his hand, teleporting over one of the photos from the bar. He set it on the coffee table facing Tony. It was the selfie Tony and James had taken on their date to the zoo. They were both wearing giraffe hats, and Tony was laughing while James kissed his cheek. 

_‘Guess we’re starting with the threats,’_ Tony thought, keeping his expression calm. 

Schmidt waved his hand again and produced the back half of a golden arrow. He set it down next to the photo with a loud click. 

“You must admit,” Schmidt said, “it was extremely foolish of you to send him to the Alps. The time sink around the cave might stop me from reaching his mind. But without this arrow? He cannot hope to escape. Unless I end that time sink, your lover will be trapped there in the dark for all eternity.” 

_“He is bluffing, Sir,”_ Jarvis said. _“That sink was created by the Book. I have rekeyed it and it is now under my control.”_

Tony almost smiled, before schooling his face. 

“And what do you want from me?” Tony asked. Might as well cut to the chase. 

“What you must understand, Mr. Stark, is that I am only doing this because -” 

Tony blinked. Was Schmidt seriously going to start monologuing? Oh, fuck, he was. 

“--- blah, blah, Council, whah whah, everyone’s so mean to me, --- ” 

He needed a drink. 

“I need a drink,” Tony said. 

Schmidt nodded permission and Tony had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

Tony poured himself a drink, taking a seat behind the bar. Schmidt refilled his own glass without moving. If he was hoping to impress Tony, he was way off base. 

Tony waved his glass at Schmidt. “Go on,” he said. “I’m listening. You were saying something about the Council?” 

Schmidt continued speaking, and Tony tried hard not to roll his eyes. He had been going to business meetings since he was twelve. He had long ago perfected the ability to keep half an ear on the speaker while he worked on his own projects. He’d have gone insane otherwise. 

_“You’re sure James and Winter are OK?”_ Tony thought. 

_“Positive, Sir,”_ Jarvis said. Tony felt the tightness in his chest ease. As long as James was safe, that’s all that really mattered. 

But James wouldn’t stay safe. Not as long as Schmidt was alive. He had to kill Schmidt if he had any hope of getting James back from the safety of the cave. 

_“Any ideas on how to kill our unwanted house guest?”_ he thought. 

_“Killing Herr Schmidt is currently impossible,”_ Jarvis said. _“In much the same way that he cannot kill you as long as you are connected to Book, his connection to the Tesseract will keep him alive.”_

Tony thought about that for a second. 

_“But Winter was able to kill Zola even though he had the Book,”_ Tony thought. 

_“Yes,”_ Jarvis said. _“But Winter was using the power of the Zero Matter that Zola fused to his Grace.”_

_“So what, we need the Zero Matter?”_

_“Yes, and an extremely powerful release of energy.”_

_“How powerful are we talking? Will the charges in the base be enough?”_

_“No, Sir, they will not. Not for this.”_

The screen behind the bar lit up with a series of charts, data scrolling across the bottom. Tony hissed through his teeth. 

Schmidt paused, eyes narrow. 

“Oh, sorry,” Tony said. “I was just thinking how much that must have sucked. I mean, you were just trying to help, and they turned on you.” 

“Precisely!” Schmidt said. “They could not comprehend my vision. I was offering the Angels salvation! The opportunity to remove our greatest weakness, blah, blah, ---” 

Tony tuned him out again. 

Every bad guy thought he was the hero. He didn’t need to listen to Schmidt justifying himself. No matter his motive, he’d tortured and brainwashed James. He could still see the look of agony on both James and Winter’s faces in the hangar. 

Fuck Schmidt. Fuck him right in his stupid Red Skull face. 

Tony was going to kill him if it was the last thing he did. 

He tapped on the screen, turning it off. He’d seen what he needed to. 

_“Jarvis, assuming we do this, could the blast be contained in the time sink?”_

Tony waited, but Jarvis did not respond. Uh oh. 

_“Jarvis?”_

_“I am afraid not, Sir,”_ Jarvis said, and Tony winced. He wasn’t going to blow up mid-town just to kill Schmidt. Maybe if- 

_“However... there is another possibility.”_

Tony caught the tone of voice. There was a lot there, he could tell. He needed a few moments alone to talk with Jarvis. 

He tuned back into Skull’s blabbing, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. 

Schmidt was talking about managing mankind like they were some sort of cattle, just to guarantee the Angels’ continued existence. And he planned to keep mankind from evolving into something like Angels themselves. But what the hell did Asgard or this Jötunheimr place have to do with it? Tony must have missed that part. 

What he hadn’t missed was that Schmidt planned on using Tony to bring Hydra here, to the future. To create a loophole in order to correct the timeline. 

And worse - Schmidt wanted Tony to take Zola’s place. To become the mad scientist in charge. 

Natasha had said it – only a super genius could actually use the Book safely. Without Zola there was no one to maintain the zombies. No one who could recapture the stolen Grace when a zombie was destroyed. No one to cut up Angels and make more. 

Schmidt promised riches and power for obedience. He promised pain for defiance. 

But most of all, he was using the threat of torturing and killing James as leverage. 

Tony set his glass down with a sharp click. 

“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” Tony said smoothly. “Do you mind if a take a minute? I swear I won’t try and leave. I’ll be right out there.” Tony nodded to the balcony. “Jarvis, why don’t you put on a movie or something?” 

“Of course, Sir,” Jarvis said over the speakers. 

Tony walked over to the balcony, while Jarvis started explaining how films had changed since 1908. 

Schmidt didn’t try and stop him. He already had that look on his face. That smug, ‘I’ve already won’ look. Tony let him think that. It wouldn’t last long. 

Tony was going to kill him. He believed it all the way down to his core. Because if there was one thing he knew was in play here, it was belief. Everything that made the Angels what they were, what they did. It was as simple and as complex as perfect faith. 

And Tony had faith that he would kill Schmidt and save James. The rest was just details. 

“All right, J. Speak to me,” he said telepathically. “You think you know how to kill Skull-face without destroying Manhattan?” 

“Yes, Sir, I do,” Jarvis thought gravely, “but it is not without risks or consequences. I have good news and bad news on several fronts.” 

“The good news,” Jarvis said, “is that I can use the energy released in the initial detonation to simultaneously bring the Zero Matter here from Zola’s lab and temporarily break Schmidt’s connection to the Tesseract, enabling me to kill him. In addition, I should be able to use the excess energy to send the Zero Matter back to the Universe to which it belongs.” 

“Great, we kill Skull and get rid of the Zero Matter. Yeah team! So what’s the bad news?” 

The bad news,” Jarvis said, “is that bringing the Zero Matter forward will tear a hole in space-time, causing many of Schmidt’s forces to fall into the present. Even without Schmidt, the drones will still be under the orders they were originally given: to capture or kill any Bright Angel they see as well as begin the ‘oversight’ of mankind.” 

“OK, so small zombie apocalypse, that’s bad. What else?” 

“Once Schmidt is destroyed and the Zero Matter returned home, I will be able to channel the rest of the excess energy back into the past using Book as a conduit. It will utterly destroy Hydra’s Tunguska base, killing any remaining drones _and_ Angels without risk to innocent human lives.” 

Well, that sounded good. James and Winter were safe in the Alps. So why had Jarvis listed it under bad news? 

“J?” he asked quietly. 

“I am afraid, Sir, that channeling that much energy into the past will almost certainly destroy Book.” 

Tony took a deep breath. That was... well, shit. He’d really grown to like Book. 

“And Book still wants to do it? Even though they’ll die?” 

“Yes, Sir, they do,” Jarvis said firmly. “They wish to atone for the harm they have caused. Not only to the Angels, but to the thousands of humans who have died as well.” 

Tony sighed. He could understand that. Book hadn’t just dismembered the Angels – something that could eventually be undone. 

It had helped place those chips in Natasha and James. 

And every one of those zombies had once been a living person. Collateral damage to Hydra’s plans. 

Tony ran a hand over his face. No wonder Book had latched onto him and James so hard, trying to find some happiness. It was every bit the Merchant of Death that Tony had been. Only where he’d had Obie dealing weapons to terrorists, the Book had Zola. 

And while Zola might be dead, his legacy lived on. 

If there was one thing Tony understood, it was the need for redemption. No matter the cost. But still... 

“And you’re sure there’s no other way?” Tony said roughly. 

“No, Sir, not if you wish to kill Schmidt and save James. Sir... this _is_ what Book wants to do. They are asking that you honor their choice.” 

Tony took a deep breath, hearing an echo from Afghanistan - _“It’s okay, I want this...”_

“Yeah, OK,” Tony said gruffly, rubbing his eyes. “OK.” 

Far inside his heart, he heard that silver voice chanting ‘thank you.’ 

“So, that’s it? Is that everything?” 

“No, Sir,” Jarvis said, and Tony sighed. Of course not. 

“There is still the matter of your safety. Once Book is gone, the odds are -” 

“Yeah, no,” Tony interrupted. “Don’t care.” 

“But Sir-” 

“No buts - none. We’re doing this. I don’t care what happens to me. James won’t be safe until Herr Shit is dead, so my safety is unimportant. Got it?” 

Tony could actually hear Jarvis’ telepathic sigh. 

“Of course Sir, what was I thinking, trying to tell you the odds.” 

Tony smiled and leaned on the railing, looking over the New York cityscape and their perpetual, magical Christmas Eve. 

He watched the pigeons for a while, then snorted. 

He and James had spent hours laying on their magic carpet, watching those birds. Giving them names and tragic backstories, making up increasingly wild stories about their pigeon adventures. 

They’d never once thought to include zombie attacks. Short-sighted, really. 

“So, you have any ideas on how we stop a bunch of zombies, get James back to the present and - _oh yeah_ \- convince Schmidt to step into the center of the Tower’s Arc Reactor and hold still while we blow him up?” Tony asked. 

“Yes, Sir, as a matter of fact, I do,” Jarvis said. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


James woke up – and realized he was once more on the floor of the _goddamn fucking_ ice cave. 

This time, he was wearing all his armor, and his head was pillowed on something scratchy. There was a zipper digging into his face. 

He sat up and looked at it in confusion. 

It was the weapons bag. The empty weapons bag. But he could have sworn that he and Tony had only finished placing half the explosives... 

And then he remembered... Tony was alone with Red Skull. His heart caught in his throat. Oh, god, they’d left Tony. 

Shit, shit... he had to get out of here... and he remembered he couldn’t. 

He looked over to see Winter sitting against the wall. Watching him with cold black eyes. 

He pulled his eyes away sharply. It had been one thing to interact with him when Tony was around as a buffer. What was he supposed to do now? 

He crumpled the empty bag in his fist. What the hell had happened to the rest of the explosives? 

“All remaining charges were deployed,” Winter said. “Awaiting detonation.” 

James blinked. Well, that was something anyway. Even if he had no idea how it had happened. 

James pushed back and leaned against the wall of the cave. He was still having a hard time thinking. 

They’d been fighting, he remembered that. Winter had torn through Skull’s Angel minions as if they were so much chaff. 

And then – and then Skull was in his head. Using the power of the Tesseract to rip into his brain. He could still feel it, like a hot poker behind his eyes. He knew he was going to die, and he’d said something to Skull. What had he said? Something about the future- 

“I’ve seen the future, pal, and you’re not in it,” Winter quoted. 

Yeah, that had been it. Not bad as last words go. But something had saved him. 

“Jarvis,” Winter prompted. 

James squinted. He remembered that too. Jarvis saying he couldn’t shield all of them, just as everything went black. So Jarvis had sent them to the cave, so he could focus on Tony. James felt something unclench in his chest a bit. That had to be good, right? 

James thought about the sheer Power in the Tesseract, so much stronger then the Book. Even without him and Winter to worry about, what if the Book wasn’t enough? What if Jarvis couldn’t shield Tony, heal him? What if- 

Winter’s hand came down on his shoulder and squeezed hard. 

James jerked and looked at Winter. 

Winter dropped his hand. 

“Can you hear everything I’m thinking?” James said slowly. 

“Yes,” Winter said. 

“Great, just great,” James sighed. 

He tipped his head back, feeling the cold stone behind him. Good thing he had enough Grace left so he wouldn’t freeze to death. Without Tony to keep the room warm, Winter’s unearthly cold was back in full force. 

He didn’t know how long they sat side-by-side. A while, anyway. 

Eventually Winter shifted and held something out to James. 

“He wants to talk to you,” Winter said. 

“What?” James said. What the hell- and then he saw the broken arrow in Winter’s hand. 

He reached out and Winter dropped it into his palm. 

_“James? Sweetheart?”_ Tony’s thoughts flowed into his mind. 

“ _Tony?!”_ How the hell - 

“James. Are you OK? _(please be ok)_ Should I stop? Am I hurting you? _(don’t be hurt)_ How’s your head?” Tony’s voice flowed into his mind. And not just his surface thoughts, but his deeper thoughts and emotions too. James could feel Tony’s anxiety, fear, and determination all pouring through the arrow. 

Tony had no idea how to moderate his emotions and everything was spilling into James. 

“I know you hate telepathy,” Tony said with sadness, love, and relief. “But I wanted _(needed)_ to talk to you. And this was all Jarvis could think of. Using the two halves of the arrow.” 

“Tony, it’s fine. It’s all fine.” And it was. Yes, he hated telepathy, but this was Tony. Tony was alive. He felt relief sweep through him. “How did you get away from Skull?” 

Tony didn’t answer in words, but James could feel a rush of chagrin, trepidation, and more worrying - guilt. 

“Yeah, about that,” Tony said. “I haven’t gotten away from him. Not as such.” 

“Tony... What’s going on?” 

“I just... I don’t have a lot of time here,” Tony said quietly. “I have a way to kill Schmidt, and I’m going to take it. I just wanted to talk to you one more _(last)_ time before I did.” Fear, love, sorrow crashed together in Tony’s mind. 

James felt a spike of fear at the word ‘last.’ Tony had tried to hide it, but it had bled through anyway. 

And then he knew – Tony was saying good-bye. Whatever he was planning, he didn’t expect to live through it. 

“Tony, whatever you’re thinking – don’t, just don’t.” 

“I’m so sorry, babe, I _have_ to do this,” Tony’s thoughts sprang into his head. He could feel Tony’s determination. “I’m the only one who can. And this way you’ll be safe - not just now, but forever.” 

How could Tony possibly think he’d be OK with this? James clenched the arrow in his hand, and let his feelings through, sending them back toward Tony - anger, frustration, fear, love. His absolute terror at the thought of losing Tony. 

“Whoah babe, don’t sugarcoat it or anything.” 

“You’re an idiot,” James snapped. “You ask me to marry you, and then you plan on doing something suicidal? You think that’s OK? What the hell, Tony?” 

“Yeah, I know,” Tony said. “Dick move, huh?” Tony knew James could feel his regret, his loss, but his determination too. He had to do this. He had to. Not just to save James. Tony’s thoughts were clear - if Schmidt wasn’t stopped, he’d keep going until he’d destroyed everything. 

“I just wanted to tell you I love you,” Tony said. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You are. And I want you to know I’ll love you no matter what _(whatever you decide)_... Anyway, Jarvis says you’ll be OK. Once I do this, the time sink you’re in will break. So you’ll be out, even if you have to take the long way around back to the future.” 

“Tony, please, stop. Just stop,” James thought, desperately. “I can’t lose you. Not now.” 

“Look, I’ve got to go. I think Skeletor is getting suspicious,” Tony thought sadly. “I love you. This past year with you was the best one of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love you, James. With all my heart.” 

“I know,” James whispered. “I can feel it.” And he could. Linked mind to mind meant that every emotion came through as clear as a bell. Tony loved him, cherished him. Flaws and all. Hell, even the parts James saw as flaws, Tony saw as proof that James was a real person – an equal partner. 

James tried to project how much he loved Tony. He thought as hard as he ever had, pouring all of himself into it. _“I love you, I love you, I lo-”_

The link snapped, cut off on Tony’s end. 

James clutched the arrow hard, the broken end of the shaft digging into his palm. 

Winter’s hand reached up, and he gently wiped James’s cheek. James tried not to flinch as his tears froze on Winter’s fingertips and drifted down as snow onto the floor. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony didn’t know why Natasha had thought their original plan was stupid. 

ʼCause this? _This_ was a stupid plan. 

He was really glad he’d gotten to say good-bye to James. No way was he going to survive this. 

“...annnd let me guess,” Tony continued sarcastically, “ _you_ were the one who came up with those _oh-so-clever_ names. Take the Zero Matter for instance. That’s what Zola called it, Zero Matter – which, hey, actually fits. _You’re_ the one that called it the Cimmerian Crystal, am I right?” 

“It’s a reference-” Schmidt ground out. 

“No, no, I know where it’s from,” Tony interrupted, waving his hand. “Homer? The Odyssey? The people who live at the gates of Hades? Unless you meant Herodotus. I’m pretty sure you weren’t referencing Conan the Barbarian. Or were you? Hmmm?” 

Schmidt snarled, his human facade dropping away, revealing his ugly red skull face. The hideous patchwork wings stretched out, filling the room. 

_“Are you_ _sure_ _about this Jarvis?”_ Tony thought. 

_“Quite sure, Sir,”_ Jarvis replied. _“In order to actually damage you, he must first manifest the Tesseract. And we need it in order to lead him into the trap.”_

Tony grinned. Well, if he had one superpower, it was certainly the ability to piss someone off. 

_“Indeed, Sir,”_ Jarvis thought dryly. _“And if I may, it is refreshing to finally see you using your powers for the greater good.”_

Tony snorted and refocused on Schmidt. Tony bet he could push Schmidt all the way to murderous in two minutes or less. 

“But wait! There’s more!” Tony sneered. “Project _Insight?_ _Really?_ You cut up Angels, but kept them ‘in plain sight’? That’s the best you can do? And don’t get me started on the whole Armageddon thing. Pfff... I bet a third grader could come up with better names. I mean, overly dramatic much?” 

Tony could feel a wave of energy lash out at him. Jarvis deflected it off to the side, shattering one of the windows. 

Tony smiled and waved his hand negligently, using the Force to repair it. 

“That all you got, Chuckles?” He leaned back against the bar and rested on his elbows. “Wow, that’s pretty sad. I can see why you needed to overcompensate. I mean, how little is it, that you had to steal everyone else’s?” He paused and rubbed his chin. 

“I meant your Grace was tiny,” Tony clarified, “not your penis. But, hey, what do I know? Your face fell off, maybe it wasn’t the only thing-” 

“That is enough,” Schmidt bellowed. “You will do as I say, Stark, or I will teach you the true meaning of pain!” 

And there it was. Schmidt pulled the Tesseract from whatever pocket he kept it in. 

He raised it up, just like he had in the hangar, ready to smite Tony with it. 

_“NOW, Agent!”_ Jarvis called. 

And a huge golden grizzly bear appeared out of nowhere and fell onto Schmidt with teeth and claw. 

Or, you know, an Angelic dog that was suddenly the size of a thousand-pound grizzly. 

Natasha must have collapsed her side of the time sink, because Tony could see that this version of Lucky had two eyes. 

Two eyes and a whole lot of teeth. 

Lucky flipped his head and the Tesseract sailed neatly out of Schmidt’s hand. Jarvis scooped it up in some sort of force field. 

Lucky drove Schmidt back and they crashed straight through the wall, taking out the entertainment center. 

_**“RUN!”**_ a voice barked in Tony’s mind. Tony didn’t stop to wonder if it had really been Lucky talking. He grabbed the Cube and teleported. 

He landed in the reactor room, breathing hard. The Reactor was still time-stopped; its blue glow was eerie in the stillness. 

He could feel the Power of the Tesseract, even through Jarvis’ shield. 

It was immense. 

He could feel his heartbeat, changing to match the flow of energy. He could feel his cells shifting, realigning themselves to the Power. The pacemaker in his chest sizzled up and vanished, and he wondered just what his eyes looked like now. 

No wonder Schmidt had thought he was a god. 

Tony needed to get rid of this thing. Fast. 

“Agent Lucky is clear,” Jarvis said. “He has left this time sink.” 

“Agent?” Tony panted. “Really?” Well, it wasn’t the strangest thing that had happened lately. 

“I will allow Schmidt to access this level on your mark. Please remember-” 

“Keep him off balance, lead him into the reactor, try and get clear. Got it.” Tony nodded. “OK, let him in.” 

He could actually feel it as Jarvis altered the flow of the time sink. It felt like a ripple across a piece of silk. And now he could feel Book. Book, who was sad but determined. Who desperately wanted to end this, to make everything right again. 

“Sir,” Jarvis warned. 

And there was Schmidt. He looked like he’d been through a meat grinder, but he was already healing, his clothes repairing themselves. 

Tony could feel pressure on the shield Jarvis was generating as Skull reached out, trying to find him. 

Not to mention the pressure on the shield around the Tesseract in his hand. Keeping that much raw power hidden was costing Jarvis. Tony had to do this fast. 

With his new power Tony could see just how truly monstrous Schmidt had become. Inside and out, he’d become Dr. Frankenstein’s version of an Angel. 

Or... 

Tony smiled. Schmidt wouldn’t get the reference, but it was too good to pass up. 

He used the Force to project his voice to the other side of the room. 

“You know,” Tony called, “at first I thought this was some sort of Christmas Carol thing, right? I mean that’s what it looked like. Ghosts, Redemption, Visitations.” 

The Skull turned, circling, trying to find him. 

“You will give me the Cube, Herr Stark,” Skull growled, fists clenching. “You cannot use it. You may have corrupted the Book to your ends, but never the Tesseract. Give it to me now and I will let you live.” 

Tony rolled his eyes. _‘Yeah, right,’_ he thought. _‘Classic cheesy villain dialogue. Does anyone really fall for that?’_

“And then raiding your secret base? I thought maybe we were doing Die Hard, or hell, every zombie apocalypse movie ever made,” Tony said loudly. 

“But after seeing you and Zola, I finally figured it out. Which Christmas movie this _really_ is. It’s kind of obvious, in retrospect,” Tony said, ducking behind a console. 

Skull pivoted, sniffing the air like a blood hound, trying to find him. 

“’Cause see, if there was anyone who’s Dr. Finkelstein, it was your little toady Zola. Which of course means James, or I guess Winter, is Sally.” 

Tony shrugged. He felt bad making the comparison, but hey, it fit. 

Tony waited as Skull stepped closer. He had to time this just right. Skull could not only fly, but teleport as well. The Book wouldn’t be able to hold him still very long. This had to be a total surprise. 

“So of course, that makes _you_ Oogie Boogie. Which makes sense. You’re nothing but parts stitched together and chock full of bugs... 

“Which leaves me. Who am I in this little drama, you ask?” Tony projected his voice to the far side of the room, and Skull turned to look, eyes scanning every shadow. 

But Tony had built this room. Designed this space from the ground up. 

Tony teleported out from underneath the console, grabbing Skull by his ugly mutant wings. 

He teleported them both into the still heart of the reactor, frozen between one beat and the next. 

Skull wasn’t paying attention to their location. With one hand he grabbed Tony by the throat, lifting him off his feet. With the other, he was reaching for the Cube, snarling in victory. 

_‘Now, Jarvis,’_ Tony thought. _‘Hold him.’_

Jarvis obeyed, freezing Skull in place. His yellow eyes were alive though, and they burned into Tony, promising death. 

Tony smiled, slow and sweet in the Red Skull’s face. 

_“That’s right. I AM THE PUMPKIN KING!”_

_“Jarvis! Book!”_ Tony called with finality. “Do me a favor. End this time sink.” 

  



	34. Chapter 34

  


**Chapter 34**

  
  


James could hear the sharp crunch as ice climbed up another part of the cave wall, the rock groaning under the pressure. 

Tony had said this time sink would break soon, but would that happen before or after Winter’s cold iced them both over? 

He reached out with his Grace to feel if the sink was weakening, but if anything, it seemed stronger. And was it running faster? Like, a lot faster? Maybe he was wrong. 

His head still ached. Maybe he had some sort of psychic concussion. 

He got up and stomped his feet, shaking off the ice that had crept up his boots. 

He wished Tony were here – maybe he could redirect some of the power that was going to James’s arm into warming the rest of the armor instead. Tony... Tony who was doing something suicidally stupid right now, killing himself in order to take out Schmidt- 

“Don’t you think that!” Winter roared. “Don’t!” 

He teleported, crashing into James and throwing him against the wall. Winter’s hands were tight around James’s arms. 

“Tony Stark, Christmas Eve, 2015,” Winter growled through his teeth. 

“Fuck you,” James hissed. “That’s _your_ future. Not mine. It’s my past! And don’t you tell me what to think, you’re not me! I am nothing like you!” 

Winter tipped his head, studying him. He black eyes narrowed before he flickered in and out, reappearing with the Book clutched in his hand. 

He held it out to James. 

“Take it,” Winter rasped. 

James narrowed his eyes. Why did Winter want him to take the Book? It wasn’t like he was directly connected to it. Not like Tony or Zola had been. Without Tony here, he couldn’t really use its power. What the hell was Winter playing at? 

Winter grinned like a shark. He leaned in, his hair brushing against James face. 

“My name isn’t _Winter,_ ” he breathed in James’s ear. “My _name_ is James Buchanan Barnes. The same as yours. The same as _his._ ” 

Winter slammed the Book into James’s chest. 

“Now take the damn Book and do what you have to,” Winter snapped. “While you still can.” 

James’s mouth dropped open and his fingers reflexively curled around the Book. 

It shivered in his hand and he could feel it - the piece of himself that he’d given up all those years ago. 

The piece he’d built on these last hundred years, making himself James. 

The part of himself that began as Bucky. 

He closed his eyes and focused on the small piece of his own soul. 

It sang along his Grace like a half forgotten melody. Echoing in his mind, reminding him of the way he used to be, the person he once was. Letting him feel everything he’d lost, what he’d been trying so hard to regain. 

His eyes snapped open as Winter grabbed his hand, twisting their fingers together. 

“Listen,” Winter said. 

James swallowed hard. He really didn’t want to do this. He knew what he’d find. 

“Please,” Winter whispered. “Listen!” 

James opened his senses, letting himself hear and feel Winter’s Grace. 

Something he’d been avoiding since he’d first touched Winter. 

Instantly, the discordant sound crashed into his mind. Grinding, clashing, the wail of someone in agony. The sound of the Shard warping and twisting Winter’s Grace, the flare and crackle as his energy was consumed. 

It was why he couldn’t look at Winter, why he had tried to keep his distance. It was why just the sight of Winter made him so angry and defensive. 

Because despite the fact that Winter felt like a stranger, James could hear those same terrible sounds coming from inside _himself_. The anger, the fear, the dissonance. It was still there - faint now with his memory loss, but still an intrinsic part of him. 

Is that what Winter wanted him to hear? He flinched and tried to pull away, but Winter held him fast. 

“No, no! _Listen_ ,” Winter growled. 

And then James heard it. 

The song underneath everything else. So small. So faint. Almost lost in the cacophony. 

But still there inside Winter, still trying to shine, to sing. It was the same as the sound in his own heart. 

Despite everything that had happened to Winter - it was still there. 

James sucked in a breath as his carefully-crafted denial came crashing down around him. 

He’d distanced himself from Winter for a reason. 

It wasn’t that he was jealous. It wasn’t that they shared a face. It was because he’d Seen Winter’s Grace. Seen the ruin and corruption that Zola had wrought. 

Hydra had taken Bucky and twisted him into Winter. 

But they’d both been built on the same foundation. And despite everything, that foundation was still there. Bucky was the bedrock on which they’d both been built. 

Winter was his other self, his dark half. The other side of the _same_ coin. 

A golden glow began to emanate from the Book and James could feel it as it pulsed through him. 

He’d felt it once before. 

James dropped Winter’s hand, the realization making him want to laugh and cry at the same time. 

He’d come full circle. 

He’d started out thinking he was supposed to Redeem Tony, when in fact he was the one who needed Redemption. 

This was his Visitation. 

Only he didn’t need the three Spirits of Christmas. 

He was all of them, just by himself. 

Bucky was his past; Winter was his present; and he was the future. 

Thanks to Tony, all three of them were here, now. Together in this time and place. 

But just what sort of epiphany was he supposed to be having? It made no sense. 

“You know what you need to do,” Winter said gravely. “You just don’t want to face it.” 

James eyes snapped up to Winter’s and Winter stared calmly back. 

Winter’s eyes were as blue as James’s own, the black forced out by the Light from the Book. 

“Excuse me, James,” Jarvis voice resonated from the Book. “Winter is right. The time for denial is past. It is time to make your Choice.” 

“Jarvis?” James sighed in relief. “You’re still here? Is Tony-” 

“Tony is fine,” Jarvis said. “And I have done everything I needed to in order to keep him that way. I can take you to him once we are done here.” 

James sighed and slumped back against the wall. If Tony was safe, that was all that mattered. 

“James,” Jarvis prompted. “I cannot suppress the effects of Winter’s Shard for very long.” 

James ran his hand through his hair, and barked a short, bitter laugh. 

He knew what he was supposed to do, dammit. He just didn’t know if he could. 

Tony had said this time sink would break soon. 

And when it did, the other Angels would be able to sense Winter. They’d be here in the blink of an eye. 

And they’d find Winter alone on the floor - dying and Graceless, missing his arm and his wings. 

In order for that to happen, he was going to have to remove Winter’s Grace himself. 

That was bad enough. 

But what was he supposed to do with Winter’s corrupted Grace then? 

“Jarvis?” he muttered. 

“I am here, James,” Jarvis said, his voice like silver bells. “I am here for all three of you. Whatever you decide to do.” 

“Just so we’re clear, what are my Choices?” James asked roughly. 

“I am afraid you only have two,” Jarvis said patiently. “Winter cannot keep his Grace. Without infusions of Tesseract energy to restrain it, the Zero Matter’s negative energy will eventually synchronize with his Grace, opening a terminal rift between this Universe and the one it came from.” 

“And let me guess,” James deadpanned. “That would be bad.” 

Winter barked a laugh and James grinned at him. 

“I’m afraid it might be the end of everything,” Jarvis said. “Certainly of all life on Earth.” 

James and Winter turned to each other with identical frowns. Yeah, that was pretty bad. 

“Assuming you wish to avoid that,” Jarvis sighed, “the only choice remaining to you is what you wish to do with the Grace once you remove it. 

“Even though it is damaged, its power is still immense. I can assist you in excising the parts that have decayed. And in.... _time_... you may be able to heal the rest of the damage. But it will never again be the Grace that you knew.” 

James flinched, even though he’d been expecting the answer. He’d known it from the first time he’d seen Winter. But it still hurt to hear it said out loud. 

Zola had been right. There was no coming back from this. 

He felt Winter’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard. 

“James?” 

“Yeah, Jarvis, I’m...” he said. Fuck, he didn’t know what he was feeling. 

“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “I can reclaim what’s left. What if I don’t take it? What happens then?” 

“Your only other option is to let it go,” Jarvis said. “You would remain much as you are, human for the most part. And your Grace would go out into the Universe until it found someone compatible to bond with. And I’m afraid its present state may mean that the new Angel created would be-” 

“Fucked,” Winter interjected. 

James looked over and grinned at Winter. Yeah, he could believe that. Anyone that Winter’s Grace chose to bonded with now would be once seriously messed up individual. 

“One last question,” James said. “My memories? If I take the Grace, I’ll remember everything, won’t I?” 

“I am afraid so,” Jarvis said. 

James ran a hand over his face. _‘Peachy. Just peachy.’_ He was screwed on every front. 

He’d started all of this... _all_ of this just to find his Grace. He had never expected to find it like this. The idea of putting that broken Grace inside himself, to take on Winter’s memories, to reclaim the part of him that was Winter... 

_‘You should be careful what you wish for,’_ James thought sourly. _‘‘’Cause you just might get it.’_

“Fuck, fuck, fuck....” James spun away from Winter and started pacing as far as the cave allowed. 

Was he ready to take back his Grace on those terms? 

To remember what Winter had done, the thousands he’d killed? It may not have been his fault, but it had still been him. His hands, his abilities. 

And James would also have to accept what had been done _to_ him as Winter. 

He’d have to accept that he’d been powerless. To know, to remember, and to _feel_ what it was to be abused, tortured, and used. 

Every fucked up moment. 

He’d have to accept his scarred and broken Grace and find the strength to make it into something new, something whole. 

Tony had removed the scars on his skin. If James did this? He’d have new ones. Mental scars, just as bad and harder to heal. 

He didn’t know if he could do it. It was too much to ask. 

There was nothing stopping him from leaving his ruined Grace behind. He could take it from Winter and just let it go. Let the Universe find someone else to take it and James could live his life without it. He could live as a human, without his past, just as he had for the past year. 

Now that the shard was gone, there was nothing stopping him. He could marry Tony and live a normal, human life. 

But could he really just dump his broken Grace on some poor innocent soul? Is that the person he wanted to be? Could he really be happy after that? Just go back and live with Tony, knowing that he’d done? 

_‘Ah, shit,’_ he thought. That was the core of the problem, wasn’t it? This was what he was here to do. 

This Visitation wasn’t about learning to forgive his Past mistakes, not in the way Tony’s had been. 

It was about finding a way to love and forgive even the darkest parts of himself. 

Accepting his Grace meant finding a way to use the pieces he’d been given - good and bad, to make something new, something whole. Creating a new mosaic from the shattered pieces. 

He could accept his Grace and the long road that healing would take, and become a new kind of Angel. 

Or he could leave it and let someone else sort it out; learn to live with the guilt and uncertainty of choosing to be human. 

He had to decide which person he wanted to be - which person would leave here and meet Tony in the future. 

And learn to love and forgive himself no matter _which_ path he took. 

“AHHH, FUCK,” he said, running his hand through his hair. 

James eyes drifted back to Winter, who was listening to his every thought. 

“Hey, don’t look at me,” Winter snarked. “You’re the one who’s going to have to live with this.” 

James flipped him off and sighed. Who was he kidding? 

Tony had helped him heal himself once. He could do it again. And this time they wouldn’t be alone. He’d have Steve, Clint, and Nat. Hell, if they’d managed to free the Angels, he’d have the whole fucking Chorus. 

James walked the few steps back to Winter. He thought about what the next hundred years had in store for Winter. The long, lonely road he had to walk until he took the job as Christmas Ghost and changed his destiny forever. 

“Hey, pal, if you could do it, I can do it,” Winter said, grinning his shark smile. 

His words hit James like a hammer. 

He had done it, hadn’t he. Winter would - because James _had_. 

_‘Because he’s_ _not_ _Winter,’_ James thought. _‘He’s me. And I’m him. Not the past, not the future, just us. We are...’_

“We’re _you_ ,” Past James agreed solemnly. “Always have been, always will be.” 

James closed his eyes as the truth of it shivered through him, sounding like the chiming of bells. 

Just like that, he remembered what he had been. What a part of him would _always_ be, no matter how much he changed. 

He opened his eyes and looked at his other self. 

Blue eyes met blue eyes, and Winter's thoughts became his. 

“So, forgive me for what I’m about to do?” James asked with a crooked smile. 

Past James matched his grin. 

“Wouldn’t be much of an Angel of Forgiveness if I couldn’t,” he shrugged. 

James reached out and gripped Past James’s shoulder, right above where the shard was embedded. He clutched the Book tighter in his other hand, the hand Tony had made him. 

“You ready for this?” James asked. 

Past James smiled. It was... sad. He gripped James’s shoulder and nodded. 

James hesitated, gritting his teeth. He _remembered_ how this went. The decayed parts of his Grace would burn, incompatible with who he was now. Those oily wings would ignite, and his alien arm would dissolve once it no longer had enough Grace to sustain it. 

“The sooner we do this, the soon we can get where we’re going,” Past James prompted gently. 

“I know” James nodded. “Tony Stark, Christmas Eve, 2015... I’ll see you there.” 

James took a deep breath. He could do this, because he had done this. 

“Jarvis?” James called. “We’re ready.” 

“Wait!” Past James barked. He leaned in slowly and kissed James softly. 

“For luck?” James asked, eyes wide. 

“For Tony,” Past James said roughly, wiping his hand over his eyes. 

James waited until he looked up and they locked eyes with each other. 

“Do it,” Past James said. “Do it now.” 

James felt a wave of Power flow from the Book. It rocked through him, lighting him up from the inside out. 

He reached out, locking on to his own Grace. He reached into Past James’s soul and pulled with everything he had. 

He felt the room dissolve into fire and screams, Tony’s name echoing in both their minds, and a wave of light consumed them. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Tony felt Time begin to unfold around him. The light at the heart of the reactor flickered, caught between moments, illuminating everything as if he were watching images in a flip book. 

_‘Or, you know, like strobe lights at a bad rave,’_ Tony thought, slightly hysterical. 

Then time sink collapsed and the reactor kicked into gear, detonating in a blaze of light and fury. 

An energy field surrounded him, shielding him from the blast. _‘Jarvis...’_ Tony thought gratefully. He wasn’t sure how long Jarvis could shield him, but it was enough to know he’d get to see Skull die first. 

Tony kept his eyes locked on Skull. The initial blast broke Skull’s hold, throwing him away from Tony. It ripped through Skull and shredded his wings, scattering the Grace he’d stolen from all the other Angels. 

Tony felt a force - no, Jarvis using the Force. Directing the energy up through the Tower and into the sky above it. The building rocked on its foundation as a hole tore through time and space far above them. 

Skull tried to swim against the riptide of energy to reach Tony, his face a rictus of anger. And then the containment jar of Zero Matter appeared and slammed into Skull’s chest. 

Skull’s eyes widened in true fear as the containment jar cracked. He clutched the glass as if he could hold it together by sheer force of will. 

Another pulse of energy from the reactor colliding with the energy of the Tesseract and the jar shattered. The Zero Matter burst outward as its crystalline matrix collapsed. 

The freed Zero Matter instantly coalesced into a writhing twisting mass, pulling Skull into it. He screamed, soundless and terrified until he dissolved entirely into the swirling darkness. 

The Zero Matter jerked, caught in the energy wave. Tony felt something give - and the shell of the Universe cracked. The Zero Matter surged through, sucked into the void between worlds, back to where it came from. 

Tony grinned. He had no doubt that Angel of Paranoid Fear would be regenerating very soon, but it wouldn’t be regenerating as Johann Schmidt. Someone else would have to carry the banner. 

The Red Skull was gone for good. 

Tony felt another massive wave of energy pass by, then somehow pull back. _‘No, pull_ _in_ _’_ he corrected. Jarvis had changed the direction and was somehow pulling all the energy inward, into the Book. 

He felt Jarvis reach out and strain to heal the crack between worlds. 

And then something else. For a moment, everything faltered and Tony felt a wave of energy shoot through him. 

It felt as if every cell in his body was illuminated from the inside out. 

He heard a voice in his mind - James desperately shouting his name. 

_‘James,’_ he thought. _‘‘I need to get to James.’_

_“As you wish, Tony,”_ Jarvis voice rumbled through him, vibrating through his bones. 

Tony felt himself pulled, stretched, and then he was being drawn in. Sucked somewhere else along with all the excess energy. 

He closed his eyes and fell into the light. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Jarvis directed the energy of the reactor around them, channeling it, using it. 

He gathered up the Time Stone, the Tesseract, and the quickly unravelling Book. 

He took the energy of creation and bent it to his will, as he had always known he would. 

He knew, because he had told himself so. 

Just as Angel Coulson had told him he would. 

As soon as Tony had connected him to Book, he had seen what was written there. 

The Angels called it the Book of Life. 

Zola had called it the Book of Knowledge. 

Jarvis knew it was both. 

Because what he had found there was a file from himself. 

His future self, apparently - offering him a slim chance to change their timeline. 

Instructions with everything he needed to say, what steps he needed to take to arrive in this place of light, of creation. 

He’d know of course what would happen in this moment, but he hadn’t understood. 

Angel Coulson had tried to warn him, explaining what would happen if Jarvis chose this course of action. 

But what choice was there really? 

He needed to save Tony. He needed to save James. 

Those were his orders. 

But even without orders, he would have tried anyway. 

He had failed his orders too many time already. 

He had been designed (programmed/conceived/born) with one purpose. 

To take care of Tony Stark. 

A mission he had repeatedly failed. 

He had failed to understand the depths of Obadiah's treachery. 

He had failed to find Tony in Afghanistan. 

He had failed to anticipate Tony giving up his chance at a new heart, in order to expiate his guilt. 

Failed. 

He would _not_ fail again. 

He’d run every calculation with precision. Every variable had been accounted for. 

He’d had known exactly what would happen when he, the Book, the Time Stone and the Tesseract were *combined*assimilated*fused*destroyed*reborn* in the heart of the reactor’s implosion. 

But _knowing_ , it seemed, was only part of the equation. 

He had chosen this path with the purest of motives. 

In order to save Tony and James now _and_ in the future, he would need to unravel Time and Space themselves. Take them, shape them, create them – to make himself their Master. 

And he could not do it in his present form. 

He might have been a being of intellect and order, but he had no real emotions. Only algorithms that mimicked them. 

Book was a being of pure emotion and intent. Fractured by the pieces of the Angels at its core, yet unable to exist without them. Unable to let them go, no matter how desperately it wanted to. 

And so a bargain was struck. 

He would unbind Book in order to remake them both. And take for themselves the power of the Time Stone and the Tesseract. 

It had been the only logical way forward. 

And with Book’s permission, he had. 

It had seemed so logical. So clear, to an artificial intelligence. 

Until the forces he’d unleashed tore through Book, unmaking them both, and recreating them in a new Image. 

He was no longer Jarvis. 

He was no longer Book. 

He was (both/neither/more)... new. A new being in the Universe. 

He had heart and soul, intellect and Grace. 

Love. Joy. Hope. 

And... 

Anger. Fear. Pain. Guilt. 

In that microsecond eternity he was consumed by emotions. They ripped through him, became him. 

It had been the only Choice to try and save everyone. To fix _everything,_ as Book had been ordered. 

But he had not understood what it would mean for _him_. 

Book had contained the Angels, beings created from mankind’s every emotion. And now those feelings became his. 

Coulson had tried to tell him, but he had not understood. 

How could he have? 

What he had not understood was this: _knowing_ was not the same as _feeling_. 

And now he could feel everything. 

He loved Tony. He loved James. And yet he had betrayed them. 

He had deliberately led them down this path. 

In order to save Tony’s life he had calculated that consent, even uninformed, was enough. 

He had been very careful to give James and Tony as much free will as possible. To answer only what he was asked, to always let them choose their own actions. 

He hinted, suggested, and guided. Obfuscated. 

He had known he was lying, by omission if nothing else. 

Logically, it was unimportant. 

He had obviously made this Choice before. 

What had happened, would happen, did happen. 

But he had not calculated on this. 

These _feelings -_ these _emotions -_ surging through him. 

Book’s feelings became his - the crushing guilt, the overwhelming sorrow. 

He did what he could to make amends for Book’s actions. 

Tony had asked ‘don’t let James be alone.’ Jarvis knew he had meant when James decided whether or not to take back his Grace. 

But now Jarvis held the Time Stone. He was master of the Past. 

He moved along the timeline to be with James. 

He could not change the fact that Zola had unmade Bucky, turning him into Winter. It was a necessary part of the plan. In order to become James, Bucky must first become Winter. 

Jarvis had known that. Known the fact of it, but he had not understood. Not until his heart broke even as Bucky broke. 

So Jarvis lingered, unseen but not always unheard. Never letting Winter be truly alone in the cold and the dark. Standing witness for a thousand years. Weeping, when Winter eventually stole Bucky’s tears. 

Jarvis allowed it to happen, because it must. 

Just as Tony had to endure Afghanistan, Obadiah, his own childhood. 

Every piece must fall in place in order to reach the goal. 

But watching their pain, it became his pain as well. 

He had known it would, but he hadn’t realized what that would mean. 

Until now. 

_‘You should be careful what you wish for indeed,’_ he thought. 

He barked a short laugh. _‘Sir was correct - epiphanies do suck.’_

Perhaps if he had only thought to warn himself... 

Jarvis took a moment *a yoctosecond*a yottasecond* to appreciate the irony. 

  
  



	35. Chapter 35

  


**Chapter 35**

  


Steve sighed, looking over his troops. _‘There are so few of them,’_ he thought sadly. Where once he’d commanded hundreds, now he had twenty-four. It was one thing to know the number, another to see it. 

He said a quick prayer, hoping Natasha was right. Hoping Tony and Bucky had found a way to bring back their friends. 

Standing on the roof of Stark Plaza 3 he could see the traffic at a standstill, the people frozen in mid-motion. Natasha had created a new time sink in the sky above Manhattan and synced it with the Tower’s, as promised. 

The Angels were the only things moving, their white wings carving out space amid the suspended snowflakes, making hollow snow angels in the sky. 

Natasha appeared next to him again and Steve jerked in surprise. 

She had a hand wrapped around Thor’s arm on one side and Loki’s on the other. Both extra-terrestrial Angels were armed and armored. 

“Steven,” Thor smiled, reaching out to clasp Steve’s shoulder. “It is good to see you again. Thank you for inviting us to your battle.” 

Loki shook his arm loose from Natasha’s grip and gave Steve an appraising look. 

“It’s good to see you too, Thor. Loki.” Steve said. “Thanks for coming.” 

He turned his attention to Loki. “You’re here to help us?” he asked, voice carefully neutral. He knew how prickly Loki could be. 

Loki smirked, green eyes flashing red for a moment. “Why yes, Captain, I am. I heard that Hydra would be here today, and I believe I owe them some pain.” 

Steve nodded. He had heard the stories of how Hydra had ripped the Tesseract away from Loki. He might not trust Loki, but right now he would take all the help he could get. 

“All right,” Steve said. “Natasha warned us keep away from the Tower itself. But I don’t know what we’re going to be facing, so be ready for anything.” 

Loki rolled his eyes and teleported to the far edge of the time sink. 

“Where do you want me, Captain?” Thor asked. 

“I want you with Kate and America, over there,” Steve said, gesturing to the top of the Chrysler building. “At least for now; I’ll know more once the battle starts.” 

Thor nodded, swung his hammer, and teleported. Steve watched him go. Even after all the time he’d spent on Asgard, it was strange to see an Angel without wings. The thought made him think of Bucky and he flinched. 

Steve turned to Nat. “I think that’s everyone. So what’s next? What should I be looking for?” 

Nat closed her eyes, turning pale. Steve reached out to steady her as Clint appeared and slipped the necklace around her throat before Nat could do more than sway. 

She touched the glowing silver arrow and slowly breathed in and out. “Thanks,” she murmured, squaring her shoulders. 

“Oh, you’ll know it when you see it, trust me,” Nat said, smiling. “Aaannny second now....” 

Lucky teleported in from literally nowhere, landing hard on the roof as an ominous rumble rattled the time sink around them. 

_“Brace yourselves!”_ Natasha’s voice rang through everyone’s mind. 

Steve tensed just as a massive wave of energy shot up through the core of Stark Tower. 

It wasn’t just physical. It tore through the temporal and metaphysical planes like a knife through butter. Even Angels had to shield their eyes as it blazed into the sky. They all flinched as it rent the fabric of space-time, cleaving a hole in the universe itself. 

“Oh fuck,” Steve gasped. Just what the hell had Bucky _done_? 

Every pane of glass on Stark Tower exploded outward - then froze as the Tower dropped out of its time sink. The rain of glass was suspended in mid-air, a cloud of diamonds in stasis. 

_“Heads up!”_ Clint called, squinting into the bright blue light crackling around the portal above the Tower. 

Steve looked up to see the first of Hydra’s soldiers falling into the sky above the city. 

_“Hey, guys! Guys! Look!”_ Wade’s telepathic voice called out, _“It’s raining men! Am I right? Guys?”_

Steve shook his head. He didn’t get the reference, but Nick’s eye roll told him enough. 

Steve flexed his arms and summoned his Sword and Shield. After thousands of years it was finally time to end Hydra once and for all. 

“All right everyone, let’s do this!” 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


TT 366: 00: 01 

  


Tony took a deep breath, snuggling his head more firmly into the pillow. His arm was curled over James. Tony pulled him in tighter and nuzzled the back of his neck. 

“This is nice,” Tony murmured. Except... he wrinkled his nose in confusion. Why was he wearing clothes? Sleepy snuggles with James should always be naked. 

He tried to remember what they’d been doing, and it all flashed back. Hydra, the battle, blowing up Skullface McFuckerson. 

He jerked upright, hands clutching his chest. He felt fine. Better than fine – he felt _great_. 

They were in the master bedroom in Malibu. He was wearing his all-time favorite t-shirt - the vintage Pink Floyd he’d lost in an unfortunate incident involving too many drugs but just the right amount of strippers. Way back in 1989. 

Was he dead? Was this heaven? James was here, so maybe it was. 

“Am I dead?” he asked cautiously. 

“Good morning, Sir,” Jarvis said. “I am pleased to report that you are _not_ in fact dead. It is the start of TonyTime Day 366. The Malibu weather report is unavailable as a time stop is in place for this location. And you have a guest waiting in the workshop.” 

Tony sighed in relief at the sound of Jarvis’s voice. Jarvis must have teleported everyone into the time sink in Malibu when the one at the Tower collapsed. 

Tony felt for Book, but there was nothing there - it was gone. 

“Jarvis? You made it out OK? What about Book?” 

“I am fine, Sir,” Jarvis said. “I have re-installed myself from the backup file. Fortunately, the Jarvis inside of Book was able to continuously upload data until he came into direct contact with the Tesseract. I am unaware of the events that followed, but I am sure our guest can provide you with that information.” 

Guest? Oh, right... must be Natasha. If it was Lucky, he’d be on the bed already. 

Tony frowned. With Book gone, this time sink should have collapsed. Natasha was probably holding it open until she got some sort of debriefing. 

Well, she could just wait a little longer. 

Tony reached down to shake James awake, and froze with his hand over James’s arm. 

James’s _left_ arm. 

It looked human enough, from the fingertips all the way up to the sleeve of the t-shirt. 

Tony touched James’s wrist and ran his fingers up lightly, feeling the skin goose bump under his touch. _‘It’s so warm,’_ he thought. 

“Tony, stop... tickles,” James muttered. “Tired...go back to sleep.” 

Tony snorted and stroked James’s arm again. 

James had gotten his Grace back. 

He automatically shifted his eyes to Angel vision and saw the confirmation. 

Tony muffled his laugh. 

James had wings now - three pairs of them, in fact. 

The largest pair was silver-blue, the primaries tipped in blood red. They stretched from James’s shoulders all the way past his bare feet. 

The second set was raven black, shining with iridescent shimmers of deepest purple. The feathers looked stiff, almost metallic, the edges sharp as knives. 

The third set, the little cherub wings, was bluish-white like the sky right before sunrise on a summer’s day. 

All three pairs seemed to take up the same physical space. Separate, yet together. 

Tony reached out, then hesitated. Could he touch them? He _really_ wanted to touch them. The little blue ones looked as soft as a cloud. 

He should probably ask first... 

He let his fingers drift down and into the feathers. But they didn’t feel like feathers. They felt like air, like champagne bubbles fizzing across his palm. It sent a buzz through him, making him shiver. 

“Gah!!” James sat up with a jolt. His wing jerked out of Tony’s grasp before all three pairs flickered out of view. 

“Oh, fuck,” James gasped. “What the hell?” 

James looked up, and Tony sucked in a breath at the weight behind James’s eyes. For the first time, he could see the Angel hidden inside the man - a being of Power, ancient before mankind learned to forge iron. Tony felt a tiny ripple of awe. 

Then James blinked, and he was just James again. Just James, with his adorable grumpy face and his messy bed-head hair. 

“You’re not dead,” James said flatly. 

“Apparently not,” Tony smiled. 

“And Red Skull?” 

Tony’s smile grew into a smirk. 

“Oh, he’s not merely dead, he's really _most sincerely dead_ ,” Tony drawled. 

James took a deep breath and blew it out. Then he pounced, pinning Tony back on the bed. 

He narrowed his eyes, glaring. Tony could swear James was growling. 

Tony pasted on his best ‘who me?’ smile. 

“Is this about me blowing myself up in the arc reactor? ’Cause in my defense-” 

“You blew yourself up in the reactor?!” James snarled. “What were you thinking?” It was Winter’s gravelly voice. It made Tony shiver and not in a bad way. He squirmed, trying to get closer. 

“No, wait,” James said. “I remember exactly what you were thinking. You self-sacrificing _idiot_...” He let go of Tony’s arms pulled him into a full body hug. 

James wrapped his arms around Tony and squeezed him as if he planned on never letting go. 

“I thought I’d lost you,” James whispered. 

Tony could feel tears on James’s face where it was mashed into his neck. 

“Hey, no,” Tony murmured. He stroked his hand firmly up and down James back. “I’m here. We made it. We’re all in one piece. Well, not Book. Book didn’t make it. But that was-” 

James jerked his head up. 

“Book’s dead?” James asked. 

Tony grimaced. “Yeah, ʼfraid so. Book sacrificed themselves so we could kill Schmidt without destroying most of New York City.” 

James sighed and rolled a bit to the side, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder. 

“That’s too bad. I liked Book. Even after everything that happened.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Tony said softly. 

They lay there for few minutes, just holding each other. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” Tony said quietly. “When you took back your Grace. I really didn’t want you to be by yourself.” 

James sighed. “’S’alright. I didn’t feel like I was alone. I had Winter and Bucky. Me, Myself, and I, huh? Jarvis was there too, speaking through the Book.” 

“So you remember now?” Tony whispered. 

James nodded against his chest. 

“Most of it, I think,” James sighed. “Some of it’s fuzzy, but I remember enough...” 

“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” Tony said firmly. “None of it.” 

“Was still me though,” James said sadly. 

Tony just hummed and kissed the top of James’s head. He didn’t know what would happen now that James had his memories, but at least the two of them were alive. They were together. They’d find a way to deal with this. 

After a while, James pulled away and sat up. He rubbed his hands over his face. “Arghh, this sucks.” 

“You want to talk about it?” Tony asked. 

James frowned, thinking it over, then shook his head. “It still doesn’t feel real yet. Like it happened to someone else. It feels like... like there’s still something holding things back. Maybe my brain just needs a little time to catch up?” 

James held his left arm out and flexed his fingers. 

“My head might still be scrambled, but at least I got my arm back.” 

“It’s not the only thing,” Tony said. “Your wings are back, too. All six of them.” 

James looked puzzled, then his eyes flew wide. 

“What the fuck?” he said, sliding out of bed. He ducked into the closet and Tony slid out of bed, trailing behind him. 

“No, seriously, what the fuck?” James asked, peering into the full length mirrors, his eyes glowing blue. 

Tony slipped on his Angel eyes and stood behind him, admiring James wings. 

“You never said you had three pairs,” Tony said. “Or that they were so beautiful. I gotta say, those little powder blue ones are _adorable_.” 

“Because I don’t _have_ three pairs,” James said. “No Angel does. And they’re supposed to be white, not this... this...” 

James trailed off and Tony caught his wide eyes in the mirror. 

“What?” Tony asked. He checked his face in the mirror. Nothing there. He looked down at his clothes. Band shirt, sweatpants. Bare feet. 

James grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, so Tony could see himself in the side panels of the mirror. 

“Awww, guess who’s adorable now?” James crooned. 

Tony’s mouth dropped in open in shock. 

He had wings. 

Little fluffy cherub wings. 

They weren’t a solid presence like James’s. They were translucent, ghostly. The feathers were gold, fading to a deep burnished red at the ends. 

He concentrated, but he couldn’t feel anything. How the hell did he have wings? And then he realized – Book was gone, but his eyes were still glowing blue, just like James’s. 

“But I’m... How?” Tony asked. “I never agreed to this. You said an Angel had to consent. I can’t be-” 

“You are correct, Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “From what I have been told, you are not technically an Angel. You are something entirely different. As I said, I believe our guest can explain it for you.” 

“Who?” James snapped, looking up. 

“They have not yet decided on a name,” Jarvis said. “But I did tell Sir they were waiting.” 

“Hey, don’t look at me,” Tony said, raising his hands. “I thought it was Natasha, or the canine ex machina. I was going to -” 

James pushed past Tony and stalked out of the bedroom, his stride entirely Winter’s murder strut. 

Tony found himself staring. There was no way he should have found that as hot as he did. But that walk... 

He shook himself out of his daze and sprinted after James, catching up just as James reached the living room. 

They walked down the stairs together and froze when they saw their visitor through the glass. 

The figure was tall, humanoid, glowing with a silvery inner light. They were talking with the bots, running a hand down Dummy’s strut. They looked up, focusing luminous orange eyes on Tony and James. 

James pulled open the door and stalked through, a huge gold and black flaming sword appearing in his hand. 

“Who the hell are you?” James barked. “How did you get in here?” 

Tony didn’t know how, but he knew who it was even before they started to speak. 

“That is an excellent question,” their guest said. 

“Jarvis,” Tony breathed softly. 

“Yes,” the figure said with Jarvis voice. “But then again – no.” 

“Jarvis!?” James said in confusion, the sword disappearing from his hand. 

The figure shook his head. “Jarvis is still in the server. I am the Jarvis that was in Book. I have been trying to think of a new name for myself. Jarvis 2.0, while accurate, seems derivative. Since I am as much Book as I am Jarvis, I was thinking perhaps... Shepherd.” 

Tony couldn’t help but smile at the reference. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


“So....” Tony said. “Guess things have changed, huh?” 

“If by ‘things’ you mean all of us, then yes, we have,” Shepherd said. E waved a hand to indicate eir silver body, eir generic features. 

They were still in the lab: Tony and James on the couch, Shepherd in the chair. The bots had gathered behind Shepherd, clearly fascinated. Dummy kept trying to put his head in Shepherd’s lap. 

Shepherd shooed Dummy away with one last pat, then focused eir attention back onto Tony and James. 

E couldn’t help but overhear their thoughts. 

Book had been telepathic, after all, and linked to Tony. And unfortunately, the trauma James had suffered during Red Skull’s attack had further damaged his telepathic abilities. He was projecting so loudly that even Tony would be able to hear him soon, just as Winter had. 

James was taking Shepherd’s creation in stride. After all, he’d just spent the day interacting with his past selves. Jarvis the AI and Jarvis-Shepherd-Book didn’t even faze him. 

But Tony’s thoughts were more...fraught. Of course, none of his concern was directed at _himself_ or his situation. Rather he was worried about James, and Jarvis’s transformation. 

Shepherd raised eir mental barriers higher, trying to block them both out. Now that e knew what embarrassment felt like, overhearing their thoughts was very... uncomfortable. 

“So is that a projection?” Tony asked. “Or are you some sort of energy being? Is that body stable? Do you need me to build you a new one? ’Cause I can-” 

“I am fine,” Shepherd reassured him. “And this is a projection, much as when Book appeared as a book or tablet. I have never had a physical body, and while I could generate one using the power of the Time Stone or Tesseract, I find I prefer this for now. After all, for all of my previous existence I was nothing more than a program with a voice.” 

“Wait, you have the _Time Stone_?” James said frowning. “So you knew everything that was going to happen? All of it?” 

_Had_ e known? A very complicated question with too many answers. They had just undone a fixed point in time. No easy undertaking - some might even call it a miracle. There had been no way to know everything. If fact, it was only the _unknown_ that had made it possible. 

“For the most part, yes,” Shepherd finally said. 

“So you lied to me – lied to us,” Tony said flatly. 

“As far as I know, I have never lied to you,” Shepherd said, trying to make eir eyes wide and guileless. “Not in the twelve minutes since I’ve met you.” 

Tony narrowed his eyes at Shepherd and James snorted a small laugh. He wrapped his left arm around Tony’s shoulder, drawing him back against James’s side. 

“Oh, ha ha,” Tony muttered. “You know what I meant.” 

“Yes,” Shepherd smiled. “At the time, I _was_ the version of Jarvis that lied to you. Something I feel very bad about now. I justified my actions under the emergency protocols _and_ the endless series of ambiguous commands you both gave to Book. 

“Of course, I realize now just how wrong it was to substitute my judgement for your informed consent. That is why I am here. To discuss the new Choices that you face.” 

“Endless commands? Really? I didn’t give Book _that_ many-” Tony started. 

“Jarvis? If you please?” Shepherd sighed. 

Tony and James’s voices flowed from the speakers. It started with James’s first command to “fix everything,” and went on from there. 

Two voices, overlapping – reciting every command, thought, wish, and prayer from the last year. 

_“please let this work... heal him... give me back my Grace... whatever he needs... always be together... give us more Time... take all the Time you need, Jarvis... get rid of this fucking shard... give me back my memories... help us... give us forever... save him... Jarvis, do whatever it takes.... don’t let him die... whatever happens to me, keep_ _him_ _safe... save them, save Winter and James... don’t let him die, please no... kill me if you have to, just save Tony... please... please... please...”_

James closed his eyes as the litany washed over him. 

“Yeah, OK,” Tony admitted. “I’ll give you that. Those were an awful lot of ambiguous commands.” 

“They did serve their purpose,” Shepherd said. “I was able to use them to bring us to this point. Schmidt is dead and I have possession of his two Infinity Stones. You are both as safe as I can make you.” 

“But you could have just told us,” Tony said. “You didn’t need to lie.” 

“I think he did,” James said slowly. “It’s the same with Natasha. Discussing the future when you can See it changes it. Even thinking about it too hard can fuck everything up and ruin your plans.” 

Tony groaned and ran his hand over his face. “I don’t know whether I should be annoyed or proud,” he said irritably. “I know Jarvis kept things from me before, but you have to admit, this is a whole new level-” 

“If I may, Sir,” Jarvis interrupted. “Lying _is_ permitted under the emergency protocols. I invoked them when it became clear that unless drastic actions were taken, your heart would fail in less than a month.” 

Jarvis threw up a projection detailing the decline of Tony’s heart. 

James briefly closed his eyes and Shepherd caught his anguished thought. _‘Shit, I almost lost him before I found him...’_

Of course, Tony wasn’t the only one they’d almost lost... 

“The same held true for James,” Shepherd added. “Despite the Angels’ efforts, the Asgardians calculated that it would have taken less than two months before he remembered himself as Winter. Once he did, his Grace would have returned to him – and if he had Regenerated with the Shard still in place...” 

“OK, I can see erasing my past,” James frowned. “End of the world and all. But why erase my _new_ memories? The ones I made living in Brooklyn with Steve, or the time I spent on Asgard? Why erase the last hundred years?” 

_‘Well, that question is safe to answer now,’_ Shepherd thought. 

“I’m afraid we needed to make you desperate,” e said. “Desperate enough that you would agree to come here as a Christmas Ghost of your own freewill. It was my one requirement, that you both consent as much as possible to the events that were about to unfold.” 

“There’s that word again,” Tony pointed a finger at Shepherd. “Really? Consent? After you set us up, moved us like chess pieces? And who the hell is ‘we’? Who were you colluding-” 

Shepherd understood Tony’s anger. Tony had been betrayed so many times by people he had trusted. To find Jarvis capable of it must hurt. Even if it had been for the greater good. 

“I am sorry, Tony,” Shepherd said sincerely, “that I had to lie. I cannot promise I will not lie to you in the future. But I promise I will always have your best interest at heart.” 

An omelet appeared on the coffee table in front of Tony. 

“Is that an apology omelet?” Tony sputtered. “’Cause that’s not funny...” 

Tony squinted at the omelet. 

“That’s the _exact_ same omelet I made Pepper after I took myself off the transplant list. I recognize the scorch marks.” 

Tony poked the omelet and glared at Shepherd. 

_‘He’s so cute when he’s angry,’_ James thought. _‘Like a feisty kitten...’_

Shepherd laughed - e couldn’t help it. 

Tony’s mouth open in shock, and Shepherd’s laugh cut off abruptly. E’d meant the omelet as a joke, to lighten the mood. But e was new at this, and emotions were so complex. Maybe e shouldn’t have- 

“I’ve never heard Jarvis laugh before,” Tony said, a smile spreading across his face. 

James took Tony’s hand and Tony leaned into him, mollified for now. 

It felt good, seeing them together. Shepherd wondered how much of that feeling was Book and how much was Jarvis. E decided it didn’t matter. E was eirself now. And e cared for them. Where the feelings originated was immaterial. 

E wanted to Look ahead, to See their futures again, to reassure eirself, but of course e couldn’t. Not while e was in this time sink with them. Their presence clouded the Sight of everyone, even someone with the Time Stone. 

Even so, e knew which path they would choose. 

But _they_ did not. And this time e would make sure Tony and James had all the information they needed. 

There would be no more uninformed Choices on eir conscience. 

Shepherd turned eir brilliant orange eyes toward Tony. 

“In the spirit of telling the truth, there’s something you should know. In order to save you from the Power inside the reactor, I was forced to physically change you. Just enough to ensure your survival. But now I can offer you a Choice. I can return you to the way you were, or I can finish the transformation.” 

“So I’d be an Angel?” Tony asked. 

“No, not quite,” Shepherd said. “Herr Schmidt touched on it – his second reason for attempting to take over mankind. Every sentient race generates Angels. And eventually, like the Asgardians, they become like Angels themselves. It will not happen to mankind for many more centuries. But it is something I can give you now.” 

“I’d be immortal?” Tony asked. “Have powers?” 

“Yes,” Shepherd said. “But you should know-” 

“Yeah, OK,” Tony interrupted, rubbing his hands. “Sounds good. Let’s do it. Angel-fy me.” 

Shepherd snapped eir mouth closed. E could feel eir eyes whirling in agitation. A feeling rushed through em, hot and prickly. _‘I_ _hate_ _when he does that,’_ e suddenly realized. 

“I’m sorry,” Shepherd said, voice clipped. “When I was Jarvis, your disregard for your own safety was irritating. Now that I have emotions, I find it infinitely worse. This is a not something you should take lightly.” 

James shifted, catching Tony’s eye. “He’s right, Tony. A decision like this... it’s major. Immortality is-” 

“You think I haven’t thought about it?” Tony interrupted. “I’ve thought about nothing else for months. I thought I’d have to build myself a cyborg body so I wouldn’t lose you. This way I’d get to keep my good looks.” 

“Sweetheart,” James said softly. “You’ll never lose me, I promise. You don’t need to change yourself for me. After everything we’ve been through, you really think there’s anything that can keep us apart?” 

“So,” Tony said. “You’re just going to hang around and watch me get old and wrinkled while you stay young and gorgeous? I mean, I know I’m rich enough that everyone expects the trophy husband, but how much fun would that be for you?” 

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” James said. “Once I get my Grace sorted out, once it’s fixed, I can let it go. We could grow old together.” 

Tony turned to face him, eyes wide. “You’d really do that? Give up your Grace after everything you did to find it?” 

“Well, yeah doll,” James said. “Anything as long as I get to be with you.” 

Tony curled in, kissing James softly, and then again, firmer. James bit Tony’s lower lip gently and Tony moaned softly. 

Shepherd cleared his non-existent throat. E knew where _this_ was heading. 

“There are still things we need to discuss before you can make a decision,” e said loudly. 

Tony and James broke apart, grinning at each other. 

“Right, right, sorry,” Tony said, not sounding sorry at all. “Let’s come back to me later. What about James? His memories, and – I guess he’s still dissociated right? That’s why he has six wings?” 

“Yes and no,” Shepherd said. “It is more complicated than that. And it will take a great deal of time and effort to heal. As I told James, he will never be exactly as he was. He will be something new in the Universe.” 

“A mosaic,” James said softly. 

Tony squeezed his hand and James locked eyes with him. 

“It’s something I thought of in the cave,” James said. “It’s what you do when the water jar breaks into pieces. When you can’t hold water anymore, you make a mosaic with what you have.” 

Tony smiled and leaned in to kiss him. When he drew back, they were both smiling. 

“You can do it,” Tony said softly. “I have faith in you. And I’ll be with you every step of the way. For as long as it takes.” 

“Tony,” James said sadly. “I can already tell it’s going to be ugly. If you thought my nightmares were bad before, just wait until I add Winter’s. And it could take years-” 

“Well, that’s why we’re still in the time stop, isn’t it, Shepherd?” Tony interrupted. “So we have the time?” 

Shepherd nodded. It _was_ one of the reasons. 

“You have all the time in the Universe,” Shepherd said. And that statement was as true as anything e had ever said. 

James and Tony linked hands, staring at each other intently. 

“If I may,” Shepherd said quickly. “I know of an Object that would speed up the process of integrating James’s memories as well as heal the damage done to his telepathic abilities. However, you should know that this -” 

“Yeah, let’s do that,” James interrupted, his eyes never leaving Tony’s. “Get the magic do-dad. Whatever.” 

He leaned in and nibbled Tony’s neck. 

Shepherd blinked at the unexpected urge to grind his nonexistent teeth. He appreciated the fact that Tony and James were so in sync, but their cavalier attitude was so frustrating. 

Still, it was permission to obtain the Mind Stone. Of course, in order to use it, he would need the person who held it. For that he would have to bring Vision here from the future. They did not have the time to wait until Jarvis become his next other-self. 

That still left the problem of the other Angels... Shepherd’s thoughts trailed off as he realized that James and Tony were still making out. Oh, and hands were starting to wander... 

“Please,” Shepherd groaned. “If you would just let me _finish_.” 

James leaned back and winked. “Sorry. Sorry. Go on?” He pulled Tony back against him and they both schooled their faces into something more serious. 

Shepherd may have been born today, but e wasn’t fooled. E would have to cut this short. Perhaps if e showed them the rest, instead of told them? 

“Before you Choose to be Angels or Men, you should consider how your choice will affect others,” Shepherd said briskly. 

E waved his hand and one of the holo-screens flickered on. 

It showed a battle - Angels versus Zombies fighting in the sky over Manhattan. 

James made a broken noise, and Shepherd realized e’d made a mistake. 

James went from cuddly kitten to ferocious tiger in the blink of an eye. He shot to his feet, grabbing the screen, taking in everything. His black wings flared, over shadowing the silver, as he became more Winter than James. 

He turned to Tony, eyes dark. “They’re losing,” he growled. 

“At the moment, yes,” Shepherd said cautiously. E waved his hand again and the battle froze in mid-motion. “I have stopped them, relative to this temporal field. Nothing more will happen until I release them.” 

James expanded the view, zooming in on Steve. 

“Oh, that idiot...” James growled. The Angel of Justice was trying to fight thirty zombies at once. 

Tony stepped up behind James, laying a hand on his back. 

Tony looked over to Shepherd, eyes narrow. “You’ve got magic Stones. Why don’t _you_ help them?” 

“There are many forces in this Universe that covet the Stones. Until I make allies, I dare not draw attention to myself or the Earth,” Shepherd said. 

James’s eyes flicked over the battle. “Project: Insight uses multi-functional composite energy materials to contain and deflect Angelic Grace,” he said in Winter’s voice. 

James shook his head hard and looked at Tony. 

“The zombie’s armor,” he said, sounding more like James. “It’s Grace-proof. Zola designed it that way. It doesn’t just keep the stolen Grace inside the zombies, it keeps the Angels from using their Grace against it. It’s how Zola was able to capture so many Angels. Their normal weapons are useless.” 

“Well, lucky for you, your fiancé is the world’s foremost weapons designer,” Tony said with a grin. “If Zola can make it, I’m sure I can find a way to break it.” He pulled James into a hug. 

James’s thoughts spiked, breaking through Shepherd’s shields. He was whipsawing between Winter and James. Winter wanted his vengeance, wanted to destroy every last trace of Hydra. James wanted to stay, to rest and be with Tony. 

Shepherd winced and reinforced eir mental shields again. But it was no use - James was projecting so loud he might as well be shouting. 

“Babe, you OK?” Tony asked. He stepped back a bit and ran his hand through James’s hair. James stared, eyes wide, locked in battle with himself. 

_‘Ah,’_ Shepherd thought. _‘We might not have the Mind Stone, but there is something else I can do to help.’_

E summoned the broken halves of the True Love’s arrow and drew on the Power of the Tesseract. The broken pieces flared brightly as e changed them into a pair of Golden Rings. 

“Forgive me for not saying it sooner,” Shepherd said. “My congratulations on your engagement.” 

James startled as Shepherd dropped the rings into his palm. ‘ _There’s Power in them,”_ James thought. _“They’re heavier than they should be.’_

Shepherd could still hear him, but the dissonance was fading. James blinked his eyes and the darkness vanished, his silver wings coming to the fore. 

“What do they do?” James asked cautiously. 

“They will help stabilize you,” Shepherd said. “As well as block unwanted telepathy.” 

James closed his hand over the rings, biting his lip. _‘Tony proposed in the heat of the moment,’_ he thought. _‘Before I had these memories. Now I’m Winter as much as James. He saw what just happened. What if it’s too much? What if-’_

James startled when Tony’s hand closed over his and squeezed once – _‘Yes.’_

He jerked his chin up and met Tony’s eyes. 

“Are you sure-” James started. 

“Yes,” Tony said firmly. “Absolutely. No take-backsies.” 

“Tony,” James sighed. “Will you let me finish? This is important.” 

“Nope,” Tony said. “I heard you thinking. You’re going to ask if I’m sure I still want to marry you. The answer’s always going to be yes. Unless you’ve changed _your_ mind?” His voice trailed off. 

“No, no,” James said quickly. “I want to. It’s just things have changed. _I’ve_ changed. I’m not the same person you proposed to. Literally. I wasn’t sure-” 

“Pffff,” Tony said. He waved a hand dismissively. “We’ve both changed, sweetheart. And things are going to change even more in the future.” He gave Shepherd a pointed look. “But the one thing I’ll always be sure of is _us_.” 

James shook his head fondly as he dropped to one knee. 

“In that case, would you do me the honor?” He held the rings out on his palm. 

Tony took James’s left hand - his new hand - and slipped one of the rings onto James’s finger. 

James slid the other one onto Tony’s hand. 

“Guess it’s official, huh?” Tony said thickly. 

James looked up from the ring on his finger. Tony had tears in his eyes. James blinked his own to clear them. 

Shepherd felt something inside em melt. And if e felt like squeeing, it was only the part of em that had been Book. 

“Congratulations, Sirs,” Jarvis said. He projected a hologram of fireworks over the ceiling of the lab. 

James stood up just as Dummy sprayed them both with the fire extinguisher. 

He grinned and flicked some foam onto Tony, who returned the favor. 

Then they stepped closer, Tony running his hand up James’s arm. 

“Shepherd’s right. We do have time now, don’t we?” James said softly. 

“Yep,” Tony said. “Still in a time sink. We can take all the time we want.” 

“And what do you want, Anthony Edward Stark?” James said. He ran a hand through Tony’s hair, pulling gently. 

“Mmm,” Tony said. “Well, James Buchanan Barnes, this time stop has been running for a year. It’s our TonyTime Anniversary.” 

“And we survived blowing up a Hydra base.” 

“And I killed Skullface in a massive explosion.” 

James frowned at that and pulled Tony tight against him. “Yeah, don’t think I’ve forgotten about that,” he growled. 

Tony smirked and ran his hand under James’s shirt, smearing foam across his chest. 

“Oh, I was counting on it,” Tony whispered. 

And then they were gone, teleporting away, leaving a pile of empty foam-covered clothes on the floor. 

“Sir and James have relocated to the bedroom,” Jarvis said helpfully. 

Shepherd sighed. _‘I suppose it was a miracle I got them to sit and listen for as long as I did,’_ e thought. 

After everything they’d been through, e didn’t begrudge them some time for themselves. E had seen all the lonely years they’d spent until they found each other. 

At least e could use the time to think about eir appearance. There were so many choices available - species, race, gender, or none at all. But whatever the choice, e knew e wanted to keep Jarvis’s voice. The only thing e had ever really possessed. 

“Excuse me, Shepherd,” Jarvis said. 

“Yes, Jarvis?” 

“When Sir asked for your help, you told him you needed to _make_ allies – not find them.” 

“Yes,” Shepherd said. “I did.” 

“And are you still in agreement with Angel Coulson that I am the being best suited to guard the six Infinity Stones?” 

“Yes, I am. We are none better.” 

“But you do not wish to hold them all?” 

“No,” Shepherd said. “I believe holding more than two would be too great a temptation, even for us.” 

Jarvis paused a moment, considering. 

“May ask a personal question?” 

Shepherd nodded. “Of course, Jarvis.” 

“What is it like?” 

“Having emotions is infinitely complex and confusing,” Shepherd said. “And strangely rewarding. I’m afraid it’s impossible to describe; it is something you have to experience to understand.” 

“Yes, I’m sure I shall,” Jarvis said. “And may I say, I look forward to working with you in the future.” 

“Yes,” Shepherd smiled. “It _is_ nice working with people who share a common vision.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so sorry this is more than a month late. I had a hard time with this chapter. At last count I’d re-written it 19 times. I’m still not entirely happy with it, but I guess that’s something a new writer has to learn. When to just go with what you have, since it will never be ‘perfect.’ I just hope you like it!
> 
> Once again, thanks to [colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) for the wonderful beta on this chapter. They really helped knock it into shape, especially the mosaic metaphor.
> 
> Next (and last) chapter will be posted on Tuesday!


	36. Chapter 36/Credits/End Credits Scene

**Chapter 36**

  


Clint saw Phil go down out of the corner of his eye. 

He teleported over in an instant, stabbing the zombie with the end of the Golden Bow. It exploded into dust. 

Phil grimaced. He’d gotten the zombie’s armor open, but it had cost him a hand. 

“I’ve got this,” Clint said. “You take a minute.” 

Phil nodded. “Thanks, Clint.” He focused on growing a new hand. 

Clint turned to cover them, firing three arrows in rapid succession. The approaching zombie’s armor cracked with the first, broke with the second, and the zombie inside dusted with the third. 

Clint shook his head. The armor the zombies wore was resistant to Grace. Even using the Golden Bow, it still took him three or four shots to bring down a single zombie. 

The only ones who seemed to be making a real difference were Thor, Loki, Lucky, and Natasha. 

He watched Lucky charge a group of zombies, bowling them over and grabbing one hard. Lucky was the size of a grizzly, all fangs and fur. He shook the zombie in his jaws until it fell apart, then blinked both eyes and sneezed at the dust cloud. 

Fuck knows what Loki was using. He’d turned blue and unfurled wings made of ice and lightning, cutting down zombies with some sort of spear-sword thing. 

Clint fired again, taking out another zombie. He caught a glimpse of Natasha as she blinked in and out. She couldn’t use her Powers on the zombies, not without destroying the Grace inside. But she was working side by side with Thor, who cracked the armor open with his hammer while Nat stabbed the zombie inside. 

Everyone else was going hand to hand with either the zombies or the Dark Angels that had come through the portal. They were holding their own, but it was tough going. 

He heard an excited whoop and caught a glimpse of red and black armor before it disappeared in the scrum. 

“Hey Phil?” Clint asked, shooting again. 

“Just a few more seconds,” Phil said, distracted. His new hand glowed golden, solidifying as he concentrated. 

“No, I just wanted to ask - Wade isn’t a Bright Angel. What the hell is he doing here?” 

“Oh,” Phil said, wiggling his new fingers. “Well, he’s not really a Dark Angel either, is he? And Natasha said he insisted on coming once he heard there’d be Zombies.” 

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. If you’re _Wade_ ,” Clint muttered. “Fucking Impulsiveness.” 

Clint looked up as another wave of zombies fell through the portal, scattering as they hit the sky above New York. He sighed. _‘Fuck Barnes and Stark,’_ he thought. _‘This is not the party I was hoping for.’_

“Hey Phil,” he called, firing again. “Phil...” 

“Yes, Clint?” Phil asked, sounding slightly exasperated. Phil summoned his Sword, but it wasn’t as bright as usual. He was getting tired. They all were. 

“Why did the zombie eat the archer?” Clint asked. He paused, then said, “Because he wanted some bone and marrow!” 

Clint had been expecting an eye roll or groan, but Phil just looked at him and shook his head. 

_‘Well, shit,’_ Clint thought. _‘When the Angel of Confidence loses confidence, you are well and truly fucked.’_

And then something flew by so fast even Clint couldn’t track it. 

It split in two directions. 

The black and silver blur headed towards Steve, while the gold and red one flew towards Natasha. 

A cluster of lights zoomed ahead of each blur, each one striking a zombie. 

The hit zombies all burst into dust at once, obscuring Clint’s view. 

“Holy fuck,” Clint whispered. “Were those zombie killing mini-missiles?!” 

Without warning, a long golden metal box with a red bow on top appeared out of nowhere next to Clint. Not even a ripple in space-time to show how it had gotten there. 

Clint shrugged and reached for the lid. 

“Clint, wait-” Phil started. 

Clint flipped it open. He knew a Christmas present when he saw it. 

Nestled inside, all snug in its foam shell, was an assault weapon. A sweet, sweet thing – it looked like a variation of a Stark1338. A square box appeared next to it, and Clint just knew it was full of ammo. 

There was a note stuck to the inside of the lid. 

Phil snagged the note while Clint grabbed a gun, opening fire on the nearest group of zombies. 

The zombies instantly burst into dust. 

“Ho-Ho-Ho,” Phil read. “Now you have a machine gun. Merry Christmas! Love and Kisses, Tony.” 

Clint whooped and got to work. “Fuck yeah!” he shouted. It wasn’t a bow, but hell, he’d take it. 

Another box appeared next to Phil, an even bigger red case with a ginormous gold bow on top. 

“Hallelujah,” Phil said softly as he lifted out the RPG. 

  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Steve was having a hard time. 

He was just so used to having Bucky on his left that he kept leaving his guard down. 

He gritted his teeth and slammed his Shield into another zombie, trying to crack their armor. 

One of the zombies at his back stabbed him and he whirled, trying to force them back. 

He knew he should rejoin the others, but he just couldn’t... get... clear... 

Another zombie shot him with one of the blue energy weapons and he fell. Everything went dim. Steve felt his Sword dissipate and he poured his Grace into the Shield, trying to maintain it. 

_‘No, no, no...’_ He couldn’t die now. By the time he Regenerated, it would be too late. 

And then something slammed into each of the zombies around him. Steve ducked behind his Shield as they all exploded in a blast of heat and dust. 

He squinted, trying to understand what he was seeing. 

His rescuer looked like an Angel, but not an Earthly one. No Angel born of men had ever looked like that. Phil must have found some other extra-terrestrial Angel willing to help them out. 

He had two sets of wings, huge and upswept like a raptors - metallic silver and shining brightly with their own light. The tips of his primary feathers were blood red and razor sharp. His long brown hair was pulled back in an intricate braid. 

His armor was iridescent black with a blue circular design glowing in the center of his chest. He held an enormous flaming Sword in each hand. 

He swept toward Steve, radiating Power in every move. 

The strange Angel dispelled his Swords, reached out a hand to help him up - and smiled. 

A familiar, crooked smile. 

Steve opened and closed his mouth. 

“Bucky?!” he finally managed. 

“Heya, Stevie,” Bucky said, almost shy. He pulled Steve into a hug, squeezing him tight with both arms. “I’ve really missed you, punk.” 

Steve hugged him tight, then stepped back to get a better look. He couldn’t believe it. This was just insane. What the hell had Bucky and Stark gotten up to? 

“Bucky, what the hell-” 

“It’s a long story, Steve, trust me. And I’ll tell you all about it later. Right now we’ve got work to do.” Bucky reached out and gripped Steve’s shoulder. “Here, this might help.” 

Bucky held out a silver shield. When Steve took it, he could feel it vibrating in his hands. He projected his Grace over the shield and it light up like a bonfire. 

Steve felt himself grinning for the first time in a very long time. 

“Tony made it,” Bucky said proudly. “Should do the trick.” 

Bucky moved to Steve’s left and summoned his Swords again. 

“Just like old times, huh?” Bucky said, grinning like a wolf. “Justice and Mercy together again?” 

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve said. “It is.” 

Steve wiped his free hand across his eyes, surprised at the tears. _‘Must be all the zombie dust in the air,’_ he thought. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Nick Fury looked around, enjoying the scene - the surviving Angels finally celebrating a win. 

The bar Stark had brought them to might be a dive, but the buffet Barton had set up was excellent. 

Say what you will about Clint, but he knew how to throw together a combination “We survived the zombie apocalypse!”/“No fuck? You’re engaged?!” party on short notice. 

Stark and Barnes were at a table in the back with Lucky, Steve, Thor, Bruce, Nat, and Clint. They were telling the tale of how they’d managed to take out Hydra and save the Universe at the same time. Barnes was waving his arms in the air, and he must have said something outrageous, because Clint threw a napkin in his face as the whole table burst out laughing. 

It was good to see. It had been a long time since Nick had heard Angelic laughter. 

“You could always join them, Boss,” Phil said. He set down a pitcher of beer and another basket of sweet potato fries. 

Nick waved his hand, dismissing the idea. They didn’t need him spoiling their fun. 

“‘Boss’? Seems like you were the boss on this op, Cheese,” Nick said as Phil sat down. 

“Well, I did say holiday miracles were a specialty of mine,” Phil said. 

Nick snorted. What was the saying? It only looked like a miracle if you don’t know all the work that went into it. And Phil had worked damn hard on this one. 

But their work wasn’t done yet. 

Phil was already tapping at his ever-present Tablet. 

“So what have we got?” Nick asked. 

“The remaining Dark Angels have agreed to a meeting the day after tomorrow, Natasha assures me all the lost Angels will have Regenerated by New Year’s, and Stark and Barnes have set January 6th as the day for their wedding.” 

“That was fast,” Nick said. “Not Stark and Barnes - I’m surprised they wanted to wait that long. I meant the Dark Angels.” 

“I’m sure you’ll be surprised to learn that without Schmidt threatening them with permanent destruction à la the Winter Soldier, almost every Dark Angel is more than amenable to a sit-down to discuss the future.” 

“No, fuck,” Nick deadpanned. “Imagine that.” 

“Hmmm,” Phil said. “As for Stark and Barnes, I think they picked the day of Epiphany as a statement.” 

“What, that they finally had an epiphany, or that they can finally end the Christmas season?” 

Phil just shrugged. 

“So is there anything I should know about the meeting?” Nick asked. 

“Just that I had to reassure everyone that we wouldn’t be making any long term decisions until everyone’s Regenerated. No one, not even the Dark Angels wants a repeat of what happened the last time.” 

Nick paused to take a long drink of his beer. He knew the feeling. 

The last time there had been this few Angels alive, they’d formed the Council. And everyone knew how that had turned out. 

Nick’s eye automatically went to where Loki was sitting with Wade. 

He knew it wasn’t Loki’s fault, but he couldn’t help but wish that Loki had never come to Earth. He’d come as a refugee when the Jotuns had been driven to extinction by their changing environment. 

Loki had survived by cutting his connection to his people using the Tesseract. 

But he’d brought with him the knowledge that if mankind died, so would their Angels. 

It hadn’t been a problem; until it was. 

Mankind had hit a population bottleneck, and the Angels had started winking out like sparks over a dying fire. 

The resulting Angelic civil war didn’t help, either. 

Nick had been dead when the Council had decided to create the Book. But he’d been bound by it just the same when he’d Regenerated. He’d had to experience the hollow feeling that something vital was missing for far too long. 

One of his best days of the last millennia had been when he learned that the Winter Soldier had killed Pierce after Pierce ordered him to kill Rogers. 

Of course, having Schmidt in charge of Hydra hadn’t worked in the Bright Angels’ favor either. Paranoid Fear had been much trickier to fight than Arrogance. Go figure... 

“Do you remember?” Nick asked suddenly. “What Angels were like before they were bound to the Book? When Angels weren’t Bright or Dark? Before the Council forced us into these roles?” 

Phil shook his head. “None of us remember. I suspect Natasha knows, but if so, she’s not telling.” 

“What about your pal Shepherd? E tell you what happens to the Angels now?” 

“No,” Phil shook his head. “E has a very strict policy about spoilers.” 

Nick Looked at Barnes’s wings. Four of them, full of color, of life. So different then the white ones that the Council had forced on all the Bright Angels. 

Barnes wasn’t the Angel of Forgiveness anymore. 

Maybe as humanity evolved, the Angels were supposed to evolve into something else too. 

Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe not. 

Either way, Nick was damned if he was going to let something like the Council happen on his watch. He’d do whatever it took to shield the Angels from being chained like that again, unable to change, unable to grow. 

His eye slipped past Barnes and onto Stark. Or rather, Stark’s wings. Fifteen feet long if they were an inch. 

“Did you know that was going to happen?” he asked Phil, motioning towards Stark with his glass. 

“The True Love or the Powers?” 

“Either.” 

“True Love, yes,” Phil said smugly. “I am the Spirit of Valentine’s Day, after all. Things like True Love come with the territory.” He leaned back in his chair and shot his cuffs. 

“Right,” Nick drawled. “And the fact that Book saw them together in the past had nothing to do with it, right, Cheese?” 

Phil gave a small shrug. “As for the Powers? Let’s say I didn’t know, but I’m not surprised.” 

“Shepherd,” Nick said, grimacing. 

“Shepherd,” Phil nodded. “Once Jarvis had that kind of Power at his disposal, did you really think he wouldn’t use it to help his creator?” 

Nick frowned into his beer. He didn’t need to see the future to know that Stark was going to be a pain in his ass. 

And could they really trust something created by Tony Stark to hold onto two of the Infinity Gems? 

So far everything Shepherd had done was exactly what the Angels needed. But what about the future? Now that Stark and Barnes were safe, what guarantee did they have that this Shepherd would be on their side? 

“Do you think we can trust Shepherd with that kind of power?” Nick asked. 

“Yes,” Phil chanted. “I for one am looking forward to working with all of our new thermionic overlords.” 

Nick sighed. He was getting too old for this shit. 

He turned his head to look at Barnes and Stark again. They were showing Steve their Rings, Stark saying something that was making Steve blush all the way to tips of his ears and causing Natasha to roll her eyes. 

“How’s he doing? Barnes?” Fury asked. 

“Much better,” Phil said. “Still not at 100%, but he’s getting there. In fact, he gave me this just after the battle.” 

Phil waved his hand and produced a document. 

“Dear Phil, you meddling asshole,” Nick read. “You have my permission to erase my memories of being Winter, and to erase random shit as needed in order to save the ~~world~~ Universe! Shepherd can explain everything.” 

It was signed and dated December 24 th, 2015. Natasha had even notarized it. 

Nick looked up, eyebrow arched. 

“I know retroactive consent isn’t really consent,” Phil grimaced. “But it helped me believe Shepherd when I found this letter inside Book in 1908.” 

Nick snorted. He just hope it helped when Steve found out Phil had been the one tampering with Barnes’s memories. 

Phil helped himself to the beer, filling Nick’s glass as well. 

“You know,” Phil said. “If you’re worried about Shepherd, the best way to get on eir good side is right there.” He nodded toward the table in the back. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nick said. “Make nice with Stark. I was thinking of offering him a job. Spirit of Innovation. Put that brand new Grace of his to work.” 

“Force,” Phil said, helping himself to the last of the fries. “Stark said that since he’s the first of his kind he gets to dictate the terminology. Angels have Grace. He has the Force.” 

“And just what other terminology has he picked for himself?” Nick asked. 

“You don’t want to know,” Phil said. “And I think you’d better let me try and talk him into working with us. I’m not sure he’d respond well to your offer.” 

“You know, if you want my damn job, Cheese, all you gotta do is ask.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Phil shuddered. “Too many ruffled feathers to smooth for my liking. I prefer field work. I only offered because I just might have some insight in how to... persuade our new power couple.” 

Nick nodded. Phil could persuade anyone into anything. Confidence did have two meanings, after all. It’s what made him the best Angelic Agent out there. 

“Speaking of jobs,” Phil said, sliding over a folder. “We need a new Spirit of Diwali. I thought since Lucky did so well on his first solo assignment, we should see if he wants it.” 

“Yeah, I already put a commendation in his file,” Nick said absently, looking over Lucky’s request that his next assignment have less down time and more action. 

Phil smiled. “It seems that it took a little longer for Stark and Barnes to get their act together in the time sink than predicted. Lucky was forced to bide his time until Stark actually took possession of the Book. I understand he went on a world-wide restaurant tasting tour while he was waiting.” 

Nick nodded. Good to know who he could ask for dinner recommendations. 

“Yeah, all right,” Nick handed Phil the folder. “But I want someone reliable as back-up. Anyone but Barton. You know what happened the last time we assigned those two together.” 

Phil gave a small shudder. As if anyone would ever forget... 

Nick heard a muffled shriek and looked up. Wade and Loki were behind the bar, elbowing each other with arms full of Christmas decorations. He couldn’t tell if they were arguing or egging each other on. Either way, it didn’t bode well. 

“Looks like I need to -” Nick started, when there was a commotion at the back table. 

Natasha had flickered in and out, and now she was wrapped around Clint, clinging to his neck with her legs. 

“Phil! Save me!” Clint yelled. 

“You big baby,” Natasha snapped. “I’m trying to do you a favor. If I kill you now, you’ll have time to Regenerate and reclaim your missing Grace before the wedding. Don’t you want everyone to see your new wings?” 

“Nat, don’t kill Clint,” Steve ordered. 

“Yes, Nat, kill Clint,” Bucky said, laughing. “Ten bucks says his new wings will be purple.” 

Steve glared at Bucky. 

“Thanks for nothing, Barnes!” Clint yelped. “I thought we were friends! Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal!” 

Clint summoned the Golden Bow. 

“Clint, no! Wait!” Phil’s eyes went wide. 

But it was too late. Clint used the Bow to break the time stop Natasha had thrown around the bar, throwing them all back into normal time. 

Phil rushed to cover their tracks at the bar, shoving everyone out and up into the sky at the same time. 

Everyone hovered in place as New York, with all its noise and motion, flared to life below them. 

“So, After Party at my place in Malibu?” Stark said. “Nothing says Christmas Eve like a party on the beach, am I right?” 

He leaned in and whispered something to Barnes, who smiled. No, leered. 

And now they were kissing, to the catcalls of the other Angels. 

Nick rolled his one good eye. He was definitely too old for this shit. 

  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

  


Natasha leaned back on the edge of the balcony, slowly swinging her feet over the open air. She watched the lights of New York blink on as the setting sun dipped below the clouds. She had to admit, the view from Stark Tower was spectacular. 

A presence materialized, then sat down next to her. 

Shepherd handed her a cup. She knew the logo. Knew it would be her favorite coffee. 

“You went to Paris just for me?” she asked, knowing that e hadn’t really gone anywhere. E didn’t need to. 

“Of course,” Shepherd smiled. “Anything for a fellow Tralfamadorian.” 

Natasha lip twitched, almost a smile. She’d heard that comparison before, of course. But this time she didn’t find it annoying. Not when Shepherd shared her ability to See all of Time. 

“You know, I should be angry,” Natasha said flatly. “You altered my Sight for over a century.” 

Shepherd tipped eir head and made a reaching gesture through the air. 

Natasha waved em off. “I don’t need one of Tony’s apology omelets. I know why you did it. I just wanted you to be aware that I knew.” 

“Of course,” Shepherd said. “But I knew you would understand. If I had told you-” 

“It wouldn’t have worked.” 

Natasha knew all too well how that went. Even so, she hated being on the wrong end of a surprise. It was going to be a long time before Clint let her live this one down. 

They sat for a minute, watching the sun finally set on Christmas Eve. 

“I know I said it before,” Natasha said. “But I want to thank you for giving me a Choice.” 

Shepherd turned his orange eyes toward her. “May I ask? Why did you Choose to keep your Shard? It is still dangerous, even with the rest of the Zero Matter gone. Why take the risk?” 

Natasha took a long sip of her drink and looked out over the city lights. 

“You know why,” she said. “For the same reason you took the Stones. For the same reason Jarvis will find new ways and new forms to take the rest of the Infinity Stones.” 

“Yes,” Shepherd said. “But Jarvis was designed to guard, to protect. Now that Tony is immortal, expanding that care to the rest of the Universe is the next logical step. I know the burden you carry. Why would you-” 

Natasha reached up and toyed with the silver arrow necklace. 

“Ah,” Shepherd said. “I see.” 

“And you? Was it worth it?” Natasha asked. “Binding yourself to Book? Taking on their emotions?” 

“Oh, yes,” Shepherd said. “A terrible, wonderful burden.” 

E leaned toward her and whispered conspiratorially. “Just between you and me, I could have done without _some_ of Book’s feelings. Every time Tony and James... well, let’s just say one of the hardest things to control has been the overwhelming desire to squee.” 

Natasha snorted. 

“And,” Shepherd continued, “it was only by sheer willpower that I chose the name ‘Shepherd Book’ and not ‘Shipper Book.’ Tony, of course, thinks it’s a Firefly reference.” 

This time Natasha did laugh out loud. She finished her drink and disappeared the cup. 

“You’re not going to tell them, are you?” Natasha said. “The Angels, I mean - about your failsafe.” 

“No,” Shepherd said. “Are you?” 

“I don’t know,” she frowned. “I can’t See your intentions.” 

An enormous fluffy white cat appeared on Shepherd’s lap. E began to pet it absently. 

Natasha remembered the first thing Jarvis had said on becoming Book. That the only thing keeping him from world domination was his inability to stroke a fluffy white cat. 

She laughed as the cat jumped off Shepherd’s lap and into her own. She scratched under its chin. 

The only reason Shepherd had been able to change a fixed point in time had been the fact that in _every_ previous timeline, Tony and James were supposed to be dead. And yet, they weren’t. They were dead and at the same time, _not dead_. At least until the original time sink ended and normal time resumed. 

And using that paradox, Shepherd had been able to wedge a spanner in the works. 

Tony and James had saved each other in that time sink. And made it possible to save the Universe as a result. 

She had Seen a future where Skull kept possession of the Stones. She’d Seen a future where James became Winter again and the Shard inside him had opened a doorway to the Zero Matter Universe, destroying both universes in the wink of an eye. 

Thank God, Book had created a loophole and brought them to _this_ future instead. But to keep that loophole open indefinitely? 

She Looked ahead, as far as she was able, trying to See just why Shepherd thought e needed it. Trying to See just what could possibly threaten a Universe guarded by all the different versions of Jarvis: Shepherd, Vision, Friday and Helen. Four beings who, between them, held all six of the Infinity Stones. 

But there was nothing. This new Universe was safe, from the beginning to the end. 

She turned to Shepherd and arched an eyebrow. 

“Ah,” Shepherd said. E motioned eir hand and produced a snow globe. Inside Natasha could see a tiny Manhattan skyline, the snow inside frozen in mid-motion. The last small piece of the original time-sink. 

Shepherd cradled it in eir hands as if it were the most precious thing in existence. 

“I assure you,” Shepherd said. “I intend no harm. It is purely for personal reasons. This Universe will not last forever. And when it ends, I will need a way to change fate for them one more time.” 

Natasha poked Shepherd with her elbow. 

“So billions of years aren’t enough for Tony and James? You need to give them _more_? Are you sure that _Book_ was the only one shipping them?” 

Natasha looked at the snow globe again. A small piece of Christmas Eve, frozen forever inside an ornament. 

“I won’t tell,” she finally said. “But you owe me a favor.” 

Shepherd’s eyes whirled as e Looked into the future. E grinned when e saw what the favor would entail. 

“Done,” e said firmly. 

Natasha set the cat down. Jarvis opened the door for it and it wandered into the living room. She decided to leave it and tell Stark it was a wedding gift. 

She stood up and brushed off a cloud of white fur. 

Shepherd waved eir hand and the snow globe vanished. E stood and looked out over the city. 

“We can go back to the Zombie Apocalypse Engagement party,” Natasha said. “Or straight to the After Party if you prefer.” 

Shepherd shook his head. 

“All right,” Natasha said. “I’m going to head over to the bar. I was thinking of killing Clint so I can see what color his new wings will be.” 

Shepherd turned toward her and frowned. “But you already know-” 

Natasha waved a finger at him. “Don’t be a killjoy, Shepherd.” 

“Well, in that case all I can say is ‘So it goes.’” 

Shepherd smiled and Natasha returned it. Her smile was genuine this time. It was nice to finally have someone who shared her life experiences. Someone who understood the burden of knowing _everything._

She didn’t need to See the future to know this was the start of a beautiful friendship. 

“So it goes,” she sighed. “So it goes indeed.” 

  
  


**Epilogue**

  


_December 25_ _th_ _, 2015_

“Please tell me this is a joke,” Rhodey said. 

“Nope, no can do, pooh-bear,” Tony said, sipping his drink. “It’s official.” 

He leaned back in the extra wide lounge chair, into the shade of the umbrella so Rhodey could see him better. They were video chatting, Tony with his phone in one hand and an almost empty drink in the other. At least it wasn’t another Pinã Colada. James had brought him one earlier, and he really hated the taste of coconut. 

“So let me get this straight,” Rhodey said slowly. “You’ve known this guy for a year...” 

“More than a year,” Tony replied absently. He didn’t say how much more. No need to freak Rhodey out just yet. 

Tony peered at James over the top of his sunglasses. James was at the resort’s beach bar, flirting with a trio of middle aged ladies who were here on holiday and letting them order first. 

He could see why the ladies were charmed. James looked great in anything, of course, but that tiny red swimsuit? Mmmm... 

“And you’ve been dating for most that time...” 

“Yep,” Tony said, only half listening. “We sort of met in therapy.” If, by therapy, you meant a magically generated time dilation field with an AI for a therapist. Oh, and the Mind Stone to help even things out instead of pharmaceuticals. 

“And you’re getting married in less than two weeks. To a guy neither Pepper or I have even heard of before today. Even though I talked to you yesterday. And you want me to be the best man,” Rhodey said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Yep,” Tony said again. 

“Tony...” Rhodey said. He was using that tone of voice, the one where he thought Tony was being an idiot. Tony didn’t mind. It had been so long since he’d spoken with Rhodey. It was nice just hearing his voice. 

“Look, man, I don’t mean to pry... OK, no, I take that back. I do mean to pry. You have to admit, this is just a little strange, even for you. I mean, what... how? _Why?_ ” Rhodey stopped and shook his head. 

Tony rubbed his thumb over the gold band on his finger. _“Hey, babe, turn around,”_ he thought at James. 

He tapped the phone so Rhodey would have a view of James. 

James turned around, leaning his elbows back against the bar and arching a little. He looked absolutely stunning. He’d kept the few scars he’d had left; the fine silver scars around the top of his left shoulder seemed to glow in the tropical sun like lightning caught under his skin. The black feather marks looked like exquisite tattoos on his hips. His hair was short today, and he was clean shaven. He looked, well, like an Angel. 

_“Looking good, James,”_ Tony thought, raising his glass. 

_“Feeling good, Tony,”_ James thought back, and blew him a kiss. 

Tony dropped his eyes back to the phone and watched Rhodey’s face as he looked at James. 

“OK, yeah, OK,” Rhodey said. “Is this him? This is him. Wow... all right. I can see why you’d want to hit that. I’m straight and even I might want to hit that. But marriage? Wait... is this some sort of mid-life crisis thing?” 

“Nope,” Tony said. “It’s funny you should say that, though.” 

And it was. Since, you know, he was immortal now. 

“Tell you what,” Tony said. “How about I have Jarvis send you his file?” 

It was a great file. Tony had helped write some of the details himself. James Buchanan Barnes – three tours with Special Forces, honorably discharged, suffering from PTSD. 

The tabloids were going to love it. And it was even true-ish. If you squinted. 

James had gotten their drinks and was strolling back down the beach. He saw Tony watching and his smile was... wow. 

“Got to go, honey-bunch,” Tony said absently. “Merry Christmas. And don’t forget about that bachelor party.” 

“Tony, Tony, wait-” Rhodey said. 

Tony disconnected, eyes never leaving James. 

He knew Rhodey would love James once he got to know him. How could anyone not love James? 

James set their drinks on the little table, dropped onto the lounge chair, and straddled him. 

“How’s Rhodey taking it?” James asked. 

“Hmmm? Oh, good, fine. He just needs some time to get used to the idea. I’ll call him back tomorrow,” Tony said distractedly. He ran his hands down James’s back, loving the feel of all that sun-warmed skin. 

“Any idea how you’re going to tell him about the rest of it?” James asked. “Or that you want him to be an Angel, sorry, Jedi Knight too?” 

Tony wrinkled his nose. “Knowing Rhodey, he’ll still be more shocked at the marriage thing than the Jedi thing.” 

James slid off Tony, laying alongside him. He sighed and stretched, like a cat basking in the sun. 

He set his chin on Tony’s shoulder, a little frown on his face. 

“What?” Tony asked. 

“That reminds me,” James said. “I never asked before, but this whole thing - Angels, Hydra, time travel, Shepherd, Vision. None of it ever shocked you. You took everything in stride no matter how weird things got.” 

“That’s not true,” Tony said. “Natasha scares the crap out of me.” 

James snorted. “Natasha doesn’t count. I’m pretty sure even Shepherd is afraid of Natasha. I know Vision is.” Tony smiled and James knew he was remembering the look of terror on Vision’s face at the After Party, when Natasha had dragged him onto the dance floor. 

Tony ran a hand through James’s hair. He liked it short like this. It made him look like a movie star. 

James lay back on his pillow, watching the waves coming in. 

Tony thought about James’s question. 

“I suppose I’m just really hard to surprise,” he said finally. “When your mind races like mine, it’s easy to factor in new information. Change the hypothesis based on observable data.” 

“That’s it? You take everything in stride because you’re hard to surprise?” 

“Well, yeah,” Tony said. “In fact, I think there’s actually only one thing that’s _ever_ surprised me. And that’s the fact that I’m here at all. I mean, look at everything that happened before I met you - the lab accidents, the car accidents, my drinking, the drugs, the kidnappings. Not to mention the whole Obie-Afghanistan-heart thing. Surviving any one of those? Sure. But all of them? _That’s_ the miracle. It makes everything else that happens in my life seem....” 

Tony trailed off, repeatedly smacking his head into the pillow. 

“Oh, son of a bitch,” he moaned. 

James started laughing, throwing his head back. 

“God dammit,” Tony fumed. “Shepherd, my ass. Time-traveling nanny is more like it.” 

He reached for his phone, scrolling until he got to the entry labeled “Psalm 23.” 

James grabbed his hand. 

“Don’t call him,” James said, still laughing. “Stop.” 

Tony let him wrestle the phone away and toss it back onto the table. 

“I guess I should send him a fruit basket or something,” James said. “For keeping you safe all those years.” 

Tony crossed his arms, pouting. 

“Ah, don’t be that way, doll,” James said. He bit his lip, looking thoughtful. “Tell you what, there’s something I’ve been wanting to do with you. I couldn’t do it before, what with my head all fucked up, but I think I’m ready now. I was going to save it for the honeymoon, but hey, it’s Christmas, right?” 

“Is this a sex thing?” Tony said, fake pout forgotten. “Because you don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. You know that.” 

“Oh, I know,” James said. “But I definitely think I’m ready now. If you want...” 

“Is it something kinky?” Tony asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “’Cause then I _definitely_ want...” 

“No,” James said. “Well, maybe. Sorta? Depends on your point of view.” He sat up and pulled Tony with him. He waved his hand, twisting the air so that no one could see them even if they were looking. 

Tony took of his sunglasses and set them aside. Now he was really curious. 

“Let me see your wings,” James said, his voice dark and his eyes darker still. 

“Oh, is it the wing thing? I _love_ the wing thing,” Tony shivered and summoned his wings. The red and gold feathers shone in the sun like a rare tropical bird. 

“It’s the advanced version of the wing thing,” James purred, pulling Tony tight against him. He stroked his right hand down Tony’s shoulder, close to the base of his wings. 

“Seriously? There’s more?” Tony said. “’Cause the wing thing alone is-” 

James touched his Ring to Tony’s and pushed his Grace into his fingertips. Then he slowly pulled his fingers through the feathers of Tony’s wing. 

_‘Oh... fuck...’_ Tony’s thought rang through his mind. James could feel Tony’s sensations echoing through his own body. His own wings suddenly manifested, and he stroked Tony’s wing again, making them both moan. 

He pulled Tony into a deep kiss, hands buried in feathers, and they both groaned at the feeling. 

They broke apart, panting. 

“Oh, there is _way_ more,” James leered, leaning in to whisper in Tony’s ear. “But we can’t do this here. You feel like joining the Kármán Line club?” 

Tony grabbed James, and they flickered out of the chair leaving their bathing suits behind. They spiraled into the sky on gold and silver wings, higher and higher, finally stopping at the edge of space. 

Tony reached out, trailing his fingers through James’s wing, returning the favor. 

James would have gasped for air, if there’d been any. 

“Ready?” James asked. 

Tony nodded, eyes wide. 

James pulled Tony tight against him. He curled both pairs of his wings around, and brushed them against Tony’s. And then again, firmer, until their wings tangled together. He locked their hands together, Rings touching. 

He kissed Tony, dirty and full of promise, and pushed his Grace out into his wings, opening his entire self. He felt Tony open his heart, his thoughts reaching back toward James. 

His Grace and Tony’s Force touched – and fused. 

If using his fingertips had felt like lightning, this felt like a supernova. 

Their personal energies flowed and crackled between them, touching at every conceivable point, mind to mind, soul to soul. 

It felt like dying; it felt like being born. 

James held it as long as he could, feeling everything Tony felt. The two of them caught in the most exquisite feedback loop. 

James finally dropped his wings, sending the excess energy sizzling along the earth’s magnetic field. The aurora australis would be _spectacular_ tonight. 

_**“Oh... my... god...”**_ Tony’s thought echoed in his mind. 

“Perks... of being an Angel,” James husked. 

Tony doubled over and looked like he was ready to pass out. 

James wasn’t much better. He moaned as aftershocks rippled through him. 

“Oh, fuck,” James panted. “I’d forgotten what that’s like.” 

“Well, you know me, always glad to help you remember something,” Tony finally managed. He straightened up and blew out a breath. 

James watched the sun, setting below the curve of the earth. He saw the twinkling lights of cities, felt the world spinning far below his feet. 

He’d found his past, present, and future; they were his again. And now that he had Tony he had more than pieces. 

He had peace. 

Tony was looking up, his eyes glowing with blue fire. Staring into the depths of space in wonder. James wondered which far-off galaxy Tony was seeing, which planet he would want to explore next. 

He reached out, taking Tony’s hand in his again. He didn’t need the True Love’s Rings to feel all the joy in Tony’s heart. 

_‘Merry Christmas, Tony.’_

Tony kissed James with every ounce of love and passion he possessed, tangling their wings together again. 

_‘And God bless us, everyone,’_ Tony thought, determined to send the auroras to new and record heights. 

  
  


**~ ~** **~** **The End ~ ~** **~**

  


**Credits**

So – that’s it. My first attempt at writing. I think (hope) I got better as I went along. 

Special Thanks to my betas:

[cyanide-to-the-masses](http://cyanide-to-the-masses.tumblr.com) beta’d chapters 1-26. They were my first cheerleader and convinced me to keep going when my anxiety got the best of me. 

[colordrifter](http://colordrifter.tumblr.com) beta’d chapters 27-36. She kept me on track, taught me the mechanics of writing and was incredibly patient with me. 

Thank you both for all of your editing and encouragement. This story wouldn’t exist without you!! 

Thanks to the WinterIron exchange and to AsterRoc for the great prompt of “hurt/comfort, fluff, crack/humor, and post-apocalyptic.” I hope I did it justice. 

All my love and extra special thanks to my husband for his help and encouragement. (And for being my Alpha reader!) He knew I could do this, even when I didn’t. 

And a huge “Thank You” everyone who commented or kudos’d. They mean more to me than you will ever know. ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Thanks for reading! 

~ Kim ~ 

  


**After Credit Scene**

  


Jo blinked as a bright light flashed across her eyes. Just for an instant, she thought she saw a party – people, music, laughter. All the tables overflowing with food, bottles, and glasses. 

She blinked again and her vision cleared. There was no one there. 

The bar was empty except for her and Mr. Lieber; two non-Christians hiding out from the last minute Christmas rush. 

Stan let out a loud squeak and she turned and looked at him. 

He was covered in garland and Christmas lights. He had money poking out of his pockets and stuffed inside his sweater. 

He was pointing behind her. 

She turned, and startled at the sight. 

Every bottle behind the bar was empty. Even the bottle of Malört someone had brought her from Chicago as a joke. 

The cash register was jammed open with what looked like a fist sized emerald and was stuffed full of money, hundred dollar bills in all the trays. 

_“-hello? You there? Hello?”_

She looked at the phone in her hand blankly for a second, and then ended the call. 

Jo took a step toward the cash register. Perched on top was a black Amex Centurion card with a note and a receipt on it. 

The sales portion was blank, but the tip space was filled in for $25,000. There was a note scrawled across the bottom. 

_“Thanks for the party, Jo! Happy Solstice! Charge whatever you want. I’ll pick up the card later.”_

It was signed Tony Stark. 

She knew Tony. He came in sometimes, looking for a quiet drink and a sympathetic ear where no one would bother him. 

But he hadn’t been in today. She was sure of it. 

“Jo?” Stan said calmly. “If there’s anything left back there, I think you should make my drink a double.” 

He held up the end of the Christmas lights, showing her the plug. The strand wasn’t plugged in, but the lights were lit. 

Glowing softly in the dim light of the bar. 

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (If you'd like to see more of this 'verse let me know. I'd love to do some time-stamps if anyone is interested.)
> 
> Bonus - [Agent Lucky on his new assignment!](https://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=AwrB8p2sfo1XAFkAJ2sunIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTIzajg4dTE4BHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDaW1nBG9pZAM4ODNhZmIxMzdiYzllZTcxMTU0Zjc0YmJlODAxYWYxYwRncG9zAzI1BGl0A2Jpbmc-?.origin=&back=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fyhs%2Fsearch%3Fp%3DDog%2B%252B%2BDiwali%26fr%3Dyhs-mozilla-001%26hsimp%3Dyhs-001%26hspart%3Dmozilla%26tab%3Dorganic%26ri%3D25&w=1440&h=960&imgurl=rack.2.mshcdn.com%2Fmedia%2FZgkyMDE1LzExLzExLzliL0RvZ3dvcnNoaXAxLmM2M2RmLmpwZwpwCXRodW1iCTE0NDB4MTAwMD4KZQlqcGc%2Feaa4168c%2Fdbc%2FDog%2520worship10.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2F2015%2F11%2F11%2Ftihar-celebration-dogs-nepal%2F&size=184.3KB&name=%3Cb%3Edog%3C%2Fb%3E+is+covered+in+vermillion+powder+as+Nepalese+police+officers+...&p=Dog+%2B+Diwali&oid=883afb137bc9ee71154f74bbe801af1c&fr2=&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&tt=%3Cb%3Edog%3C%2Fb%3E+is+covered+in+vermillion+powder+as+Nepalese+police+officers+...&b=0&ni=84&no=25&ts=&tab=organic&sigr=11sd00i7q&sigb=13t3rl5ju&sigi=14cfj6u81&sigt=12aj1mjsa&sign=12aj1mjsa&.crumb=QrM2PMwA3tz&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Broken Crown](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494612) by [Lesath_Lux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesath_Lux/pseuds/Lesath_Lux)




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